7 Yo Son Diagnosed with ADD- How to Explain to Him and Strategies Beside Meds

I'm sure your doctor has heard these questions before and will be able to give you some great advice about what to do.
Some people are wired one way and others are wired in other ways.
Some people can manage this with diet - it IS worth a try - and others can't.
Some people really do need meds.
And some parents fight against meds no matter how much their kids suffer in the mean time.
I've seen a boy in my sons taekwondo class scream and hit/kick other kids out of the blue, whole classes become nothing but dealing with the kids behavior day after day week after week - and the parents were adamant "He doesn't need meds" - and the boy was miserable and so was everyone else around him.
I don't see how denying that the poor kid was having problems was doing him any good.
(And while I felt sorry for him - it pissed me off that he was hitting/kicking my kid and everyone else s.)
Parents pulled their kids out of the program over this - eventually the boys parents were told their son could not come back to class anymore.

If you eventually do decide that meds might be worth a try - it might take trying several different meds before you find the right one - and periodically there will need to be adjustments.

Kids need too be able to play, make friends, do reasonably well in school, be able to listen and follow instructions from teachers - and if some brain chemistry is getting in the way of all that then it might take a medication to help get that in balance.

I think it is admirable that you are willing to look at all possible influences and make changes that may enhance your child's well being. With that being said, why are you not starting medication now. If your child was diabetic - meaning having been diagnosed with a medical condition that generally requires medication, would you say "ummmm . . . I'm gonna do the diet thing first and THEN consider medication?" No, you would give your kid the insulin and work on diet issues at the same time with the goal of creating the healthiest balance possible between the two.

As far as educating your child about his diagnosis and/or expecting a 7 yr old to abide to limitations in his diet, I think I would start with the obvious - why? You state that he already isn't up to speed with his peers and struggles, why would you throw this on his lap, too? I've really never felt the need to "explain" to my special needs kids their disabilities other than to maybe point out that we are all made differently with different strengths and weaknesses. Or that some things may be more difficult for him than for other people - but conversely, some things may be easier.

I have two special needs children - one with the "worst" (not really a good word, but it is what the doctor used) case of ADHD he has EVER treated in the 30 years he has been a child psychiatrist. We have tried probably 6 different meds, with tons of different dosing and timing. It probably took us 3 years to hit the "sweet spot" on meds, only to have it thrown off a year later due a weigh gain and drug tolerance, then back to a "sweet spot," then the need for another medication he couldn't go without and was contraindicated so we had to change once again. It is a fluid process for many families.

We also did diet, fish oil, and all the other "recommended" things we saw online, heard from our doctor, etc. While it is a definitely something to incorporate, you are selling your child and his diagnosis short when you are not allowing medication to play a part of things.

Good luck!

One thing, sugar has nothing to do with his ADD, you need to research that. The "study" that said that was debunked months after they published it but people still think sugar does something to a kids brain because they heard somewhere that sugar causes it.

ADD is a brain disorder. It happens in the brain if you eat sugar all day or no sugar at all. What you eat doesn't really make your brain act in any certain way, certainly not all the time.

I understand that you think you can fix this with diet. It's natural to think you can do this.

But, if your child had seizures, would you say "No sugar! Seizures come from the brain getting too much sugar so we're cutting that out!". No. You would study up on how the brain actually works and try to find out what you CAN do to help your child, like giving them their medications that affect the areas that make the seizures.

If your child truly had ADD/ADHD then their brain is firing off in an irregular pattern. That's biological/chemical. The medication causes the brain to fire off in a more regular pattern so the messages don't bounce around randomly. They have a pattern and the medications make that pathway much more accessible.

As far as explaining, you simply point out the struggles he is having and then you say there are ways to help him. However, despite all the reading you've done, you still don't understand what ADD is. You need to get some things straight yourself before you can talk to your child.

ADD treatment requires a tripod - support at home that includes predictable routines, support at school with routines, accommodations, and sometimes therapies, and medical support which includes medication and sometimes therapies. The medication is what enables him to focus well enough to learn strategies and mitigates the emotional fallout often associated with ADD and similar issues.

It's good to be healthier in general, always, but you have to know that a better diet can't fix the brain chemistry part of this issue. You're very typical in regards to trying to hold out against medication. I can also tell you that of your kid's diagnosis is correct, then months or years from now, after a ton of stress and tears for your child, you'll be kicking yourself.

My best advice - Do not withhold appropriate medical treatment from your child just because it makes you feel uncomfortable. This is a neurological issue, not a diet or behavior issue.

If your son truly has ADHD, diet isn't going to change that. It means that his brain is wired a certain way, and eliminating sugar and additives isn't going to magically change his brain waves so that they work in the same way yours do. It's just not going to happen!

You need to focus on things that actually CAN make a difference in his life.

Medication CAN be a huge help. Many, many kids with ADHD are helped tremendously by meds (and this is a GOOD thing).

Coping skills. This one is huge!!! He needs to learn how to adapt to this world despite the fact that his brain would function more easily if the world were different. So talk to your doctor about the best way to do this.

My situation is very different, as about a year after our son was diagnosed with ADHD, he was diagnosed with Autism. That was (obviously) a game changer, and our son has various therapies that help him tremendously. So talk to your doctor about what will help your son the most.

As far as how to explain it to him? That's tough! I've tried really hard to be up front and honest with our son. He knows he has Autism, and so far we've told him that makes it harder for him to socialize and relate to other kids. But we keep encouraging him and helping through the struggles. We remind him that, while it's not fair, it is what it is and we are here to help him and support him.

I am wondering why you feel that you need to explain his diagnosis to him and why you need to explain the new diet. He's still pretty young and so I think you can keep it simple.

You are changing your diet because you want everyone in your family to be as healthy as you can be. Everyone in your family is eating healthier, right? It's important to be healthy and sugar and artificial stuff isn't healthy.

For the diagnosis explanation, can you stick to what he already knows? "Sometimes you have trouble finishing your homework, so we are going to....(make a planner, set up reminders, whatever you plan to do)..... to help you stay on track to get it done."

If you must go further, you can simply say that all kids have different strengths and weaknesses and then put his in a similar context. For example, for my kid that struggles in a particular area, at that age I would say something like this (details changed to fit your question) "Different kids need different kinds of help. Joey is really good at math, but he needs help learning to read, so he has a special teacher that helps him with reading. You good at reading, but sometimes you don't pay attention to all of the directions, so your teacher is going to help you with the directions so that you can do your worksheets better." I use this approach because I don't want my child to think that the ways he is different from another kid is bad. If you put it in the context of "everyone needs help in some ways, and this is how you need help", I think it normalizes it.

As he gets older, you can add in more details when situations come up. But telling him that he has ADD won't mean anything to him, so no need for that at this point.

ETA: My kids don't have ADD so I'm purposely not commenting on medications and coping strategies. But I also encourage you to be open-minded to all approaches that are scientifically proven to help ADD kids.

So sorry to hear your dealing with this,it's so difficult to see our loved ones struggling. Please know there are an abundant of highly successful and famous people with ADHD as you point out they are usually extremely bright and have great strengths in abilities. With proper strategies implemented this can actually be a blessing and help your child soar to even greater heights. Have you had him assessed by an Occupational therapist? Very often there are underlying causes that may cause a child to exhibit symptoms of ADHD that are worth exploring such as sensory processing challenges, Visual/spatial challenges among many others.... in the mean time there are many accommodations and strategies that can and should be implemented to ensure your sons success and maintain his self esteem. I am actually running a 4 piece blog this month you can follow www.facebook.com/kidzsconnect
In terms of sharing your sons diagnosis with him please be sure you have fully accepted the diagnosis and are completely comfortable with it before trying to share with your son. I do agree with other posters it is probably most beneficial to point out his challenges "I see you are having a hard time focusing" offer a strategy "why don't you take a drink and then come back to your work" rather then trying to explain the diagnosis and succumbing him to a label at this point. Children often use their dx as an excuse "I can't help it I have ADHD" "I can't do it, I have ADHD...." and therefore I strongly recommend you offer observations of his challenges and strategies, as opposed to the label.... please feel free to contac me for any further concerns or questions.
All the best
C.