My daughter just turned 5 & for about a year or so, she has been switching one bad habit for another. First was nail biting, finally after having several; bouts of staph infections & Dr. explaing that nail biting & nose picking were causing this, she stopped nose picking. I finally started painting her nails & got the biting to stop, now she's picking her nose again & when I catch her, I have her go wash her hands, she laughs about it like a game. Now, this past few weeks, she is chewing her hair. It leaves her hair looking nasty & greasy & it stinks. I was ignoring it trying not to show my disgust as I knew it would be another power struggle, but her granny told her not to do it & now she's doing it almost all ay long. Why is she choosing to do behaviors she knows are bad or wrong? I know attention is attention regardless of good or bad, but I am home with both my kids all day. I try & spend at least 30 minutes one on one with each daily. I read to both, I help both with "school work" I try & do a puzzle, or play a game with them, so they get attention from me throughout the day. I'm trying to decide if I should just ignore it all even if the nose picking is so GROSS the consequenses of time out & washing her hands every time I catch her are not working. Today alone I caught her picking 21 times & chewing her hair 11.
Well, after reading everyone's advice, I'm going to try the gum when possible & relax a bit about her habits. I am going to keep an eye out for patterns & watch her for stress indicators. I didn't quite explain the time out situation & I hope people aren't thinking I put her in time out all those times, but rather if I told her to stop chewing & she blatantly ignored me, that she would get a time out. If I told her to get a kleenex and she replied with a big solid "no" then that would get her in time out. As for the staph, well, it colonizes in the nose & with her picking her nose would get high concentrations under her nails. She would then scratch herself apparently
& get it inside her skin thus resulting in boils infected with staph. Per her Dr. some people are just more sensitive to it than others. Thanks for all your ideas & I'll keep the advice in mind.
My six year old son does stuff like that all the time. The one thing that i found that works is if you say something to her about it being gross infront of kids her own age. I know it sounds kinda mean but once they know that there friends know and that there friends think it is gross or wrong they will stop doing it. i hope this helped best of luck.
Hi!
I'm not a doctor but picking your nose & chewing nails doesnt' give you staff. When I was a a kid I chewed my nails constantly. One of my Aunt's hated it so much she would put pepper sauce on my fingers. However, it didn't work because I like pepper sauce. Every kid has a habit that makes us crazy. My take is the more you focus on the issue the more it will be done. You could spend every waking hour engaged with them & she will not stop. Give yourself & her a break for a few days.
Hello Cdm2kk-
I've been working with children and studying child development for many years. What you are describing sounds either like a stress reaction or a reaction to boredom.
I suggest you watch and study WHEN she starts the "bad habits". Does she seem to be stressed, (remember stress to children is different than stress in adults)? If it's not a stress reaction, it may be the way she deals with boredom. If this is the case find something else for her to do with her hands.
I suggest providing her with a "stess" ball, (hand size ball she can squeeze), or doll to carry around. This will provide her with something to do with her hands.
Good Luck-
R. Magby
Your post made me think of a joke... What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? Kids won't eat broccoli. Sorry... My son's principal told that to me when we had a "discussion" about boogers. My son has gone through a slew of nasty habits. I've let the nail biting remain, because it is the lesser of all the nasty evils. Lucky that infection hasn't been an issue. It sounds like maybe your daughter chews on something to keep focused. What about gum?
Those habits are common. Gross, maybe, but not "bad" or "wrong." You could be promoting the habits by making such a big deal over them. I'd let the hair thing go, but tell her if she picks her nose she has to put the stuff in a kleenex and then wash her hands. I think she's getting too much negative attention (in other words, attention) for the habits.
Cdm2kk, I suggest that your daughter is not "choosing" to do one bad habit after another, rather trying to soothe herself. It is not always that a home is anxiety producing or the people she interacts with are stressing, sometimes the child is just very sensitive. I was one of those children. I was always chewing my nails or pulling or twisting at something. Perhaps your dd does not have the verbal skills to say what it is that is worrying or distressing her. I was just nervous/anxious by nature. Sensory overload can make an anxious kid have a really difficult time. I suggest taking her to a naturopathic dr. who will have some natural soothers, not drugs for her and possibly some insight into what triggers dd anxiety. Chamomile tea would be good for starters. Of the 3 you mentioned, hair chewing is the least destructive. She is inflicting pain on her self to distract herself. Left unchecked, anxiety can escalate into more desperate attempts to cope. I hope I have conveyed encouragement not fear in this note. Peace, C.
I don't have any good answers, but I just wanted throw this random fact out there for you.... Kids who pick their noses (particularly those that eat the contents) are healthier than other children. So, while it's gross, at least you can find *some* silver lining there. :)
Good luck, I hope someone else has good answers for you!
could she be lacking in some sort of nutrience? seems like i read some where that nail biting and hair chewing were lack of something? cant remember what it was exactly though. pretty much sounds like she is being a normal kid to me though.
You can buy from many online catalogues something called "chewelry", which is like a springy bracelet or necklace that would give her something more appropriate to chew on. My son has one at school to keep him from chewing on his shirt. I think they also have pencil toppers that are safe to chew on, and small toys called fidgets to use as a distraction.
It sounds like she is anxious/stressed about something and this is her way of dealing with it. She is substituting one habit for another as she may not be able to express herself well in words yet. Was there an event about the time she started this? A loss, a move, new school? Maybe try re-direction for a few days? Keeping her hands busy is a good idea - a small squishy ball or another object she can keep in her pocket or on a carabiner on a belt loop? I wish you luck, I'm sure your and Granny's disapproval matter to her more than you think, she may not be able to help herself. Take care.
My son went through something similar (chewing on all kinds of things; mostly soaking his shirts). It's likely anxiety. It's hard to know why they have anxiety but some cope with it by chewing. Others cope by eating, pulling their hair out, etc. It could be worse. My advice is to try and ignore the behavior but when you catch her doing it, offer her a piece of gum. Buy something fun like Hubba Bubba. Chewing helps some cope. It's naturally calming. It's along the same lines as adults who chew on pencils or tap their foot when nervous. Also, by pestering her about it, it will create more anxiety. Not to mention you can't stop her from doing it so she will feel like she has some control over you because you can't keep her from it. Having control will make her feel more secure. btw...I'm not saying your child is insecure. I'm saying as kids develop, they often have anxiety over little things (dealing with change all of the time). Give it a try, hopefully it will work for you as it did for me.
Hair grows back. Cut it short so she can't put it into her mouth.
As far as boogers I just say get a kleenex. My daughter stopped after she was caught at school and the kids teased her. She still does sometimes though.
A couple of thoughts come to mind:
1. She's doing it for attention- maybe the negative behavior is the only way she's getting the attention she needs, even with less than desirable consequences.
2. Have you considered that perhaps she has OCD? The frequency with which she's doing it is what makes me think it might be an underlying factor. I used to have an OCD issue with my hair growing-up and even into adulthood, though I didn't chew it.
2. I am having a hard time understanding why these are behaviors punishable by time-outs. Boogers don't gross me out though it's not an acceptable behavior, but is it a punishable behavior in that manner? Seems a little extreme for me. Have you tried making sure she always has access to tissues and praising her when she uses a tissue vs. her fingers?
It does appear that a condition called impetigo may be caused by staph bacteria from the nose coming in contact with broke skin:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impetigo
It's either a self soothing thing or she's bored! Have you thought about putting her in some kind of kindergarten or something fulfilling to engross her attention. Something is not working for her emotionally, try to get to the bottom of it.
