4.5 Year Old Still Can't Stay Dry at Night

Updated on April 28, 2010
S.C. asks from Plano, TX
15 answers

My 4.5 year old girl still does not stay dry at night and during many of her naps. I have kept her in Pullups to sleep because I can't keep up with keeping her sheets clean otherwise. I will sometimes let her try to wear panties at naptime, but she almost always pees the sheets. She has never stayed dry through the night, so I can't even comprehend letting her wear panties at night. She has no accidents while awake.
What can be done? I am so tired of paying for Pullups for a child this old but don't know how to get her out of them. Is this really something I just have to wait out?

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So What Happened?

Well, it is now January 2011 and my girl pulled through. Starting in September we consistently started waking her at midnight to pee (I was awake anyway.) For the past month she has had no accidents. It really did just click for her after all that worrying I did. Wooohooo! There is hope for all of you out there who come across this in your bedwetting woes!

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

You can try eliminating dairy (or just milk) from her diet for a week or two and see if that helps. Problems keeping dry is a common symptom of dairy sensitivities (or allergies).

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J.V.

answers from Lansing on

I can "REALLY help with this one. My youngest son was a bed wetter for longer than I thought he should be. I was talking to my older sister one day (we did not grow up together) and was talking about this. She was a bed wetter until she was 12! She informed me it is a hormonal imbalance in the pituitary gland, when you need to go it secretes a hormone that wakes you up. Yes you will eventually grow out of it as the gland develops and starts secreting this hormone normally. However, try telling that to a little boy who cry's in the morning cause he wet the bed, or is afraid to stay the night at friend's houses (either because he is afraid he'll wet the bed or doesn't want to get made fun of for pull ups). Anyway she told me to talk to the Dr. about a nasal spray that helps with this. I did and Dr. prescribed the spray. You do one squirt in each nostril every night. HOLY COW does this work! We only had to use it for about a year. It was such a relief to all of us especially our son! Talk to your Dr. about this. I have told everyone who brings this issue up the facts and many were so thankful and relieved!

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I suspect it is an inherited situation/problem.

I know of one family that has had 4 generations of bed wetters and they struggle with it as each generation of children grows up. I know of 12 year olds that struggled (!!) to not wet the bed at night. If you really want to know, ask the preceding generations if they had that problem. You'll probably find out they did and then you can find out when it stopped.

Sorry for the bad news, and good luck. (Don't belittle your daughter over it and don't let her siblings tease her about it ! ! ! She will feel bad enough without the "help" of others to make her feel worse.)

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

You might want to have her checked out by a doctor. There is a common genetic deformity of the uretha. It can be repaired easily. And in a few months the bed wetting stops. It runs in families so you may ask. It affects both boys and girls. In girls they may have frequent bladder infections. Some children may have a problem with daytime leaking too. Otherwise just keep buying diapers. It's so much nicer for a child than waking up to wet pajamas and wet sheets. I think limiting fluids before bedtime makes a difference too.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is 6 and still has night time accidents. My son didn't stay dry consistently through the night until the end of 1st grade (age 7). It's not unusual and there really is nothing you can do to speed up the process. You can talk to your doctor to make sure there isn't a medical problem, but most likely her body just isn't ready and it will happen on it's own eventually.

Good luck,
K.

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A.A.

answers from Denver on

It is not uncommon for this problem to persist until 8-9 years old, sometimes longer. If you have googled the subject and tried liquid alarms, and waking her up just after she goes to sleep to go pee, and all the other tricks, then you have to wait for her brain chemistry to mature before it is going to work for her.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

1. Pee right before naps and nighttime.

2. Put a waterproof pad under her (over her fitted sheet) then you don't have to change sheets and all the bedding. I have 2 for each of my kid's beds (my son is 6 and still has accidents occasionally at night). It sounds like you might need 3 if she pees frequently enough. The money you spend on these will make up for itself quickly in the money you don't pay for pullups. (actually 1 pad is just about the cost of ONE big package of pullups).

http://www.bedwettingstore.com/Bedding/category_WaterProo...

just a note, i bought the pads that tuck under the sides and i LOVE them!!! they are really soft and since the sides tuck in they don't slide out from under the child if they move around alot. the kids don't mind them at all and they know they have to sleep on their "pee pee pad" just in case.

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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just let her be and don't push it. Our daughter is about to turn 5 and she has just finally started going the night, she did it all on her own. She kept sneaking underwear on at night without telling us. Never had an accident, never had to do any cleaning. We never pushed it. $10 a month for a bag of 28 diapers didn't seem like a big deal for us as we new eventually it would happen.

Oh and we did start with nap times, we helped her learn the signs for naps since she doesn't sleep as sound during them. She was "trained" during naps for months before night time. Always made sure she went potty before going down for a nap.

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C.T.

answers from Detroit on

just mooching off your answers because i have the same problem with my 4 year old boy!

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Take her to the doctor to rule out a physical problem, but more than likely, she is just going to have to mature. It runs in families, and it is terribly common. Don't make a big deal of it, because it truly is not a big deal in the long run and if this is your only blip in her typical development, count yourself as a very lucky Mama.

How nice it is for your daughter that she lives in a time when pull ups are available and she does not have to be humilated or uncomfortable, my mother, who wet until she was 12, describes horror stories about hanging her sheets out every day to dry and not being able to bathe enough to keep from smelling bad (that was 50 years ago.)

M.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

S.....I have twin boys that will be five in June so only a few monts older than your daughter. They are both still wearing pull-ups for sleep time, too. One of the boys has been having some dry nights in the last month and is almost always dry for nap. The other is hit and miss. That being said, please don't stress yourself out over this...I have an 11 year old daughter and oh what regret I have that I pushed her and made such a big deal over being dry at night. I'm a little bit older and wiser now and understand that it's not really worth being stressed about, it will happen when they are ready. I know it's a pain to buy the pull-ups, I buy them for two :-) but it's a small price to pay to not be doing so much washing and laundry. Just remember, your daughter isn't doing it to irritate you or inconvenience you, her body just hasn't gotten to the point that it's ready to hold it while sleeping. Hang in there, it'll happen in due time.

Updated

S.....I have twin boys that will be five in June so only a few monts older than your daughter. They are both still wearing pull-ups for sleep time, too. One of the boys has been having some dry nights in the last month and is almost always dry for nap. The other is hit and miss. That being said, please don't stress yourself out over this...I have an 11 year old daughter and oh what regret I have that I pushed her and made such a big deal over being dry at night. I'm a little bit older and wiser now and understand that it's not really worth being stressed about, it will happen when they are ready. I know it's a pain to buy the pull-ups, I buy them for two :-) but it's a small price to pay to not be doing so much washing and laundry. Just remember, your daughter isn't doing it to irritate you or inconvenience you, her body just hasn't gotten to the point that it's ready to hold it while sleeping. Hang in there, it'll happen in due time.

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K.R.

answers from Houston on

It's not that old to not be dry. My first son was dry and clean from 3.5 years old but my 5.5 year old son still uses pull-ups at night. He has a condition called 'encopresis' which means his body is a little delayed and hasn't quite worked out how to control down there. I would do what the other Mom's suggested and limit drinks before bedtime and then, in the meantime, wake her up around the time you go to bed and take her to the bathroom. This way, her body will get used to the fact that she needs to go during the night and hopefully after a couple of weeks you may see an improvement. Also, putting a potty next to her bed so that she doesn't have to walk too far might make a bit of difference. If all of that fails, her body is just not ready and you should try again in a few months. Hope that helps and good luck !

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

I can't feel your pain I have a daughter who has been pottry trained since 18 mo which was a blessing (6 and half now) I feel for you. I hope you find an answer that can ease your pain!

Have you tried to eliminate drinking anything 2 hours before sleeping and hour before nap? Also going to the bathroom right before laying down?

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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

First if you've never been told this listen now and if you have been told this..then come to grips with it and deal. Nighttime dry is TOTALLY different than daytime. Nighttime will come when they're little body is ready for it. Don't punish, don't hold fluids before bed, etc,etc. This is something you can't do anything about! It's not unusual for this not to happen until 6-7 years, then if it's still happening talk to your doc. Until then, buy the pull-ups and let her be. Goodluck

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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

does she have allergies??

Updated

does she have allergies??

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