3Yr Old Paci Nightmare

I was also going to say, you can't be sure this is just a welcome to the terrible 3's. However, if he is having tantrums in the day perhaps it is because he is lacking a good nights sleep.

My youngest daughter went through this after taking away her paci, except she was a little over 2 when we did it. It was tough for awhile, but we got through it. She is now almost 5 and I can't remember the last time we had a difficult nights sleep with her. So while I have no great advice, I do believe in time it shall pass.

hang in there mama :) it sounds like the behavior issues are probably from getting crappy sleep for the last month. i think the best thing you can do is stop going in to him when he wakes up. it sounds harsh but it sounds like he is making up any excuse for you to come in. once he realizes you won't come in, the excuses will slow, and then stop. just make sure he has pottied and has a drink last thing before bed. then there's no reason for you to go in there, and no reason for him to get up. when he yells for you just state "good night!" or "go do bed honey". eventually he'll get it. i'm sorry it's so rough...good luck!

Hang in there!
I agree with both posters below... he's crabby during the day because he's not sleeping well at night/naptimes. He's not sleeping well because he misses his paci, yes, however, he's also 3! When our little girl was between 2 and a half and 3 and a half she slept AWFUL. She woke up all the time at night screaming and crying and would throw terrible tantrums at night. She never had a pacifier, so she wasn't acting out because of that. She is just extremely stong willed and stubborn and tested a LOT of boundaries!
Stay strong. I know it's hard to listen to them cry so much, but fight the urge to give it back to him if that creeps up. It's best for him in the long run!

Don't give it back. It will make it harder next time. You have a limitless one that has a lot going on: potty training, being three, loosing his paci, and a baby stealing some of his thunder. I would be frustrated too. Reinforce positive behavior, ignore negative, and give him some special snuggle time when he goes down to nap and at nighttime. If it makes you feel any better, I have a four year old that has never slept well. Hang in there momma.

My DD was the same way, so I gave it back. I figured she just wasn't ready. She only uses it in bed, so I thought 'big whoop, so she keeps it a while longer'.

I say give him back his paci so he can get a good night's sleep, most likely he's tantruming because he's awfully tired.

And you truly think this is worth it????

I would give the child his pacifier and let it go. He obviously needs it.

You don't know for sure that all problems are related to his paci. All three yr olds go thru difficult times, and with your son's issues you cannot expect to avoid the horrible threes! Hang in there, dont give in on the paci, yes he's having a hard time, but think how much harder it will be to take away the paci next yr instead of this year!!

I agree with the other posters that it could very well have happened if he never had a paci. If you still have the paci's hidden somewhere, then throw them out completely so you don't even have access to it. He's had it long enough and giving it back would be taking SO many steps back. Don't let his diagnoses change how you treat him either. Of course, I'm not saying you should force him to eat a popsicle if it hurts him, but sometimes it's tempting to let a diagnosis become an excuse.

I'd focus on being super consistent with naps and bedtime so he's getting as much sleep as possible. He's missing out on his major soother, but he's a big boy and big brother now and big boys don't use paci's. Be very talkative and positive about being a big boy. Heck, point out other little boys in public who aren't using a paci and especially little boys who are behaving well. Catch him doing anything good and praise the heck out of him, no matter how small. He'll catch on that good behavior gets him farther than bad behavior. I'd also nip any bedtime requests in the bud, give him a sippy cup with just an ounce or two of water to start. It may sound corny but I'd buy him an alarm clock just for his room (hopefully find one w/o a radio). Then I'd take several close pictures of him next to the clock, smiling or frowning in accordance with what time is on the clock. If 6:00am is fine for him to be ok to come out of his room, then make that the big picture. Make one with 5:00 and 4:00 that have very sad, unhappy faces corresponding. Then make a sticker chart and reward system for not coming out of his room until the right time. Can he go to the bathroom on his own or does he need assistance? Maybe a trail of nightlights is all you need?

He has extreme oral sensitivities. He needs something orally to soothe himself. My daughter's sensory issues were moderate, and it still took months and months to wean her off the paci at 3+ years.

Get him something to chew on at nap/bedtime instead of the paci. They have bracelets, necklaces, even lovey's with teething pieces. That way, he can chew on something to soothe himself to sleep, but it's not like a paci that will hurt his teeth. Win win. I might suggest one of those little soft loveys with the rubber plastic bit for chewing.

Good luck.

He is 3, that is a difficult age already.

They have a year of PMS. All of their feeling are there with them all of the time. They are overwhelmed because they are not sure what they want. They do not know how to tell you in words.

This is the time to be very direct and firm about expectations.

Tell him the rules af behavior before you get in the car. Then when you arrive at the destination and before you unbuckle him, tell him the plan and expectation at this destination.. Each time tell him. I know you can do this. You are my big helper.

Teach him how to say, I need a hug.

I am frustrated.

I am scared.

Then listen and give him a few minutes to get his emotions together.

Yes, all of this takes extra time and patience, he is watching how you respond. if you can give him the words you are feeling, he will know how to say them.

The pacifier going away, it was time, do not feel guilty about that, instead give him some responsibilities. 3 year olds LOVE being big helpers. Always make sure he has some job, you could not do without him. Thank him every time he helps. Tell others in front of him, how he helps all of the time. Tell him, " I like your patience! "

"Thank you for not getting upset, when we could not play on the plays cape at the mall today. I liked your understanding."

At night, he is allowed to cry on his own. Close the door and let him calm himself.

Sometimes I would give our daughter control by asking her, "how about tonight you sleep with your head where your feet usually goes!?"

Or "how about you build a nest n the floor tonight!?"

Options and some control. Things you are willing to allow, but ,make him feel like he got to choose.

Updated

He is 3, that is a difficult age already.

They have a year of PMS. All of their feeling are there with them all of the time. They are overwhelmed because they are not sure what they want. They do not know how to tell you in words.

This is the time to be very direct and firm about expectations.

Tell him the rules af behavior before you get in the car. Then when you arrive at the destination and before you unbuckle him, tell him the plan and expectation at this destination.. Each time tell him. I know you can do this. You are my big helper.

Teach him how to say, I need a hug.

I am frustrated.

I am scared.

Then listen and give him a few minutes to get his emotions together.

Yes, all of this takes extra time and patience, he is watching how you respond. if you can give him the words you are feeling, he will know how to say them.

The pacifier going away, it was time, do not feel guilty about that, instead give him some responsibilities. 3 year olds LOVE being big helpers. Always make sure he has some job, you could not do without him. Thank him every time he helps. Tell others in front of him, how he helps all of the time. Tell him, " I like your patience! "

"Thank you for not getting upset, when we could not play on the plays cape at the mall today. I liked your understanding."

At night, he is allowed to cry on his own. Close the door and let him calm himself.

Sometimes I would give our daughter control by asking her, "how about tonight you sleep with your head where your feet usually goes!?"

Or "how about you build a nest n the floor tonight!?"

Options and some control. Things you are willing to allow, but ,make him feel like he got to choose.

3 is definately a hard age in many ways... they are seeking independance, but still need soothing and assurance. This coupled with sensory issues is going to make giving up the pacifier at this point in his life difficult. But, that being said, a 3 year old doesn't need a pacifier... even with sensory issues. Giving it back will just make it harder to get rid of it later. I am a Pediatric Occupational Therapist and I have 3 kids of my own. (my youngest is 1 and uses a paci, my middle child is 4 and hated them, and my oldest is 6 and we took it away when she was 2 with no major issues). I have worked with MANY children with oral sensory issues, and I completely agree with the mom who said to give him something else to chew on that is more appropriate so he can still self-soothe. The lovies with chewy things on them are great, but if you want to go with something that is not a baby toy (thought 3 year olds still have lovies, you may want to transition to somthing that will be more age appropriate as he gets older, and something that is easier to clean). There are these stretchy chewy necklaces and bracelets called "Chewlery" which were created just for this purpose (older children that need to chew to get oral/calming input) in a more appropriate manner (than pacifiers, clothing, pencils, furniture, toys etc.). You can order them from Therapy Equipment websites ie. Therapro, Abilitations etc. or Google "Chewlery". For kids who need really hard things to chew on, I have even used chew toys- ordered from the same places as Chewlery (like teething rings but no babyish) and attached them to chewlery. For safety I would use the bracelet rather than the necklace while sleeping. Good luck. And, if it makes you feel any better, I have found with my own kids that 3 is a tough age with sleep. Kids tend to be transitioning out of naps, but still tend to need them sometimes... it can be a vicious cycle finding the happy medium. My son went through a phase of waking up very early... and on the days that he would still nap he would go to bed fine but wake up even earlier the next morning!