3Yo with Aspergers Needs Help with Eating and Potty Training

I can't offer advice on the potty training thing (I too am dealing with it). The best thing that I have found for the no wheat and dairy is the "Special diets for special kids" books. My son now has started to eat things and I am so happy. Nutrition stores have a lot of gluten free stuff and Sam's club and some of the grocery stores are getting more and more in all the time. There is also a gluten free blog
http://glutenfreeblog.blogspot.com/2007_11_01_archive.html
my sis found this for me and it too has helped. GOod luck

Pooping on the potty is a big deal. Your son is not at all delayed or lagging behind others because he is 3 and not trained. It tends to sometimes take kids alittle longer to realize and be okay with the pooping thing. Figure from the time your child has been born, they have been allowed to pee/poop in their diaper, and now you are wanting them not to. I would put him in underwear, and allow him to run around the house without pants on [ just his undies]. Ask, offer, remind him every 20-30 min if he needs to go. Also, kinda pay attention to when he poops, or visable signs he is about to. I know with my daughter she tends to kinda go hide away from us [ under the table, behind the recliner etc etc]. As soon as I realize she is doing this I hurry and whisk her to the bathroom. Sometimes I am successful, others I am not. Just be consistant and do not make your son to feel bad about this. It will come in time. I promise. As for the dairy free/wheat free diet, there are TONS of cookbooks and resources available to you. My daughter has a milk allergy so we do not give her any dairy. It is sometimes hard to do [ MILK IS IN EVERYTHING]. check out the website : www.recipegoldmine.com they have tons of wheat free/gluten free recipes, as well as milk free ones too. Do a search online for websites too that may be able to assist you in eliminating this from his diet.

contact A New Leaf Academy
they specialize in Aspergers - my 8yr old son has been
involved with them for a year now.
Tons of help and resources
they are very close to Fairview/Eagle area
www.anewleaf.info
I hope that help!
blessings
K.

I just want to encourage you! As others have said, he sounds pretty 'normal' about the pottying & eating for his age. My oldest daughter was 4 before she was completely trained. My almost 4-year-old son rarely sits with us for a complete meal; he eats-on-the-run! And neither of them has been diagnosed with Aspergers. However, my brother does have it (he is older than me) & my mom & siblings have talked about how it was so challenging for them to help him learn each new task & reach each developmental milestone. That it could be very frustrating, but even though he wasn't actually diagnosed at the time (he is 50 now & wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago) so they didn't have a "reason" for his delays nor any help from the medical community, they just knew that for whatever reason he was different & it took him longer to learn most things. So they worked at being very patient with him as they repeated actions with him over & over until he finally learned (to walk, ride bike, tie his shoes, get dressed, etc. etc., all of which he achieved much later than usual). So I just want to encourage you to be patient, & rejoice in each little achievement. While my brother is still 'different', especially with social interaction, he holds down a good job, lives on his own, & has carved out a life/hobbies that are very satisfying to him. While I'm sure that my mom would say that she wished more for him, it is enough for her that he is happy. God bless you in your struggles.

I have a 16 yo with Asperger's, but a 3 yo who is not potty trained or sits still for a meal is not that unusual. My boys were all 3.5 before they were trained, with the exception of the 16 yo who was 2.5!

I chose my battles and will not make food one. We sit down for meals and if any of the kids don't finish, I do not push. I keep healthy snacks available and when I don't push, they all eat better.

Do you go to the Monroe Meyer Institute? It is fantastic for autism.

Hi N.!

I read your post and remembered filing this into my favorites. I hope this helps?

http://www.ehow.com/how_###-###-####_potty-train-child-
autism.html

http://cgi.ebay.com/Complete-POTTY-TRAINING-Set-Autism-PE...

Truly,

C.

N. I have two kids with autism my daughter has aspbergers. She was the same way. She has to have all her food cut or she picks it apart. And at that age she only ate a few items. Her focus is her stuffed animals and sometimes what I would do is "bunfy" would eat with us. Bunny would take a bite and Ana would take a bite. I would have liked to try wheat free but I was afraid she would not eat anything becuase one of the only things she would eat is PBandJ fruit and cheese. But I hear there are lots of recipies on line. And if you have a local co-op or health food store they carry a lot of dairy-wheat free products. I also did peidiasure. I don't know if it comes in soy though.
I have come to except that in my house if I can get the healthy food down them whether it is cheese and fruit or it has to be cut in fours I am happy. That our kids might never try something new.
Potty training was hard. If you have the pee down that is great the other will come. We found that we had to show them where the "poo" went. I know this tmi. But after my son saw that it was suppose to go in the pot he was better. I never made as though he was in trouble. I would say this is poop. We poop in the potty. And take him to the potty. OVer and over and over again. He did not have much speech then. He got it by age four. We did the reward system with my daughter.
Have you been to Autism Speaks? Their website has some great resources. Take care. Be thankful for the little things. Do all the research you can and know that one day it will be better. My daughter is eight. She only had a few words at five. We did play/ABA and enrolled her in some great programs. She is in a regular 3rd grade class. And she has the speech of a 5-6 year old! And she functions well in a regular classroom. Hang in there, M.

I can relate. Really consistency is the key more with "our" kids than others. My daughter does not have aspergers but she has Autism. She is 11 now and still has accidents when she waits too long because she is too busy. She was 7 before she didn't have to wear a pull up. I know it sounds weird but is he ever in the bathroom when you go? Our kids learn best from modeling so if you allow him in when you must go, or daddy is even better for a boy, he may get the idea. Have you ever heard of the center for childhood development? It's on 8th ave in Jenison here's the website. I am going to a seminar type deal on the 12th from 6-9 www.thecenterforcd.com

I can honestly say that i do not have any experience dealing with your sons diagnosis. however, I have worked in group homes with developmentally disabled adults and autisctic adults. The combination of these two makes activities of daily living very difficult for these people. Something that we used to do to help keep our clients on track and focused was to create a daily guideline of what needed to be done in what order. You can cut out pictures of things that symbolize tasks that must get done throughout the day, then have your son help you put them in order in the morning and he can use the board all day long to remind him of what needs to be done in what order. That way, when meal time comes, you can point to the board (which can just be a piece of laminated paper) and remind him that before he does anything else that he needs to eat. You can also add the potty training in there and add it in at times when you know he has a good chance of having a bowel movement. I hope this helps.

Have you tried a visual schedule for meal times? As far as toilet training, he's still young. You could try a social story for the potty. Hope it helps.

Please consider a pediatric chiropractor. You can find one at www.icpa4kids.com in your area. I have a number of patients with aspergers and they respond very well. Also the ped chiro can advise you on diet and nutrition as well as sensory integration for your son. These changes can have a calming effect of the nervous system. Try it, I am certain you will be pleased with the results. My oldest aspergers patient that I have been working will for years just won Worlds at an international horse show!

Been there done that - twice~~ so just lay off, I know it is nice to be out of diapers but presure on the kid only makes it worse. I waited (just leaving the pot out) until they showed more interest in it and are having a better time than normal (you know what I mean)then I told them that they could have one of what ever they are hooked on everytime they went for a week- though I try to stay away from candy a small piece of chocolate was all that would work for the one. Then we made the biggest deal of it (they live for praise) even showed the contents of the potty to brothers and sisters and daddy (preped them to make a big deal of it too!) I took three days for the one and a full week for the other. The hardest part was staying ecited for that long. Then once the time it up we just stayed excited when we were showed or told. I had a frien that it didn't work for so she just waited for another better time and then it worked.
As for eating~ I leave finger food on the table or on an asigned shelf. Then I say: I bet there is a carrot in there with your name on it! or Better eat that cheese before a mouse gets it. I also put all kinds of good stuff in dips as mine would eat anything if they could dip it (That is why ranch is so pop!) A little food every once in a while keeps them fed (anyway it did for my six foot+ 189 pounder)
The other thing is that loving yourself helps when loving your kid may not look at it.

Hi N.,
I have a son with Autism and ADHD. It has been a real challenge and I know it is going to be hard for a long time still. My son is 3 1/2 and he has never done anything in the potty. I have tried to get him interested in it, but he seems to be scared of it. I have been doing Pre-toileting for over a year now and he still doesn't seem to care if he goes in his diaper. I think you are doing very well with the toilet training given his disability. My son also only eats a couple times a day, if I'm lucky. When he does sit down to eat, it only last literally 30 sec-2 min. Thank you for your post, I will be checking your replies often for advice with my son as well. As for the diet, I have been doing it with my son for about 3-4 months. I was very skeptical at first, but his gastroenterologist suggested we try it for 6 weeks. She said that it doesn't work for everyone, but it does help with behavioral problems in a large number of kids on the autistic spectrum. It causes a cerebral allergy which give them the feeling like they were on an opiate drug. We gave it the six weeks and discovered that it was helping him. Some people just do wheat free, maybe you want to try one then add the other to see if both are actually helping. I have found many recipes online and you can buy recipe books at health food stores. I like to use regular recipes and then substitute gluten free flour mix for regular flour or non dairy creamer for milk, (the creamer works better for cooking than rice or soy milk). His Dr also said that if it works for your son then you do it for a year then reevaluate. Some only have to diet for a year. That gives me hope to keep going, it is hard. Good luck and hang in there!
A.

I have an Aunt who has a son with Aspergers ash she has had tremendous progress with nutrition. I would love to get you two in touch. Email me and we can get you two together.

N.,

First off the wheat-free, dairy-free diet can help if you think your son in intolerant or allergic to these foods. You might want to talk with an allergist who specializes in children. There are a lot of great options at the health food store. My son also has food intolerances, we use spelt bread (it's another type of wheat, but one that is not used very often), it's expensive, but I use it sparingly. Also rice cakes are a great option. Rice milk or soy milk can be a good substitute for milk. Talk to your ped. about his calcium intake and how to ensure he is getting enough if you eliminate dairy.

Just remember, if you are baking brownies or other sweets from scratch you will have to add a bit of fat, like oil, to make up for some of the fat in butter and milk. Check out Alton Brown's new book, "I'm Just Here for More Food". It's a great book specifically about baking and what each ingredient does.

You might want to consider taking your son off food dyes. Some kids react badly to the dyes that are in kool-aid, juice, snacks, processed food, etc. Try going organic, there are fewer dyes and most of them are natural rather than processed.

As to time at the dinner table...well, he's three. His attention span is not going to be all that long. With our son we offered snacks twice a day (before lunch and before dinner), but told him that he would not get anything until the set snack time...or the next meal. By enforcing meal times and including him in conversation, dinners slowly improved. Our son is 6 now, and his manners are improving.

You said your son has asbergers, you might want to try laminated picture cards of food that he can have and post them on the refrigerator. I heard of another mother doing this with her child. She made up a number of cards based on nutrition guidelines. He could only have one sweet a day so there was only one sweet card on the fridge. When it was used and he was hungry he had to pick from the other cards: carrots, celery, grapes, oranges, apples, etc. The cards were placed in an envelope on the counter as he used them. This helped the mom ensure her son was getting a balanced diet nutritionally and approved snacks were available for him to choose from every day. It also gave her child a bit of responsibility, when he would use the sweet snack and what snacks he would choose from throughout the day.

I know that your son is young, but it might help him to remember what he has had throughout the day and what he can have without constantly asking you every hour.

Check out Chris Johnson's book "Meal Patterning" he includes a "food target" that easily shows which foods are really good for you and which foods are really bad. It is better than the food pyramid and easier for children to understand.

Just remember, God's foods (natural, fresh, etc) are best for his growing body.

Good luck!

I have a brother with Aspergers, and I remember my mom having a hard time with potty training. he was a few years behind with everything all through his life, so everything takes a little more patience. I think he was almost 5 before he stopped having accidents and went completly on the toilet. And in general, boys are slower with potty training than girls. He was slower with development, but he is now 21 years old, and has his drivers liscense and will be applying for jobs as soon as he graduates. So patience is the key, and also repetition and routine. My brother favors consistancy in his routine. For the diet, try the health food store, or the internet, there are tons of options for wheat and dairy free foods.