We have two great kids and although I always wanted 3 kids, my husband was happy with 2 and so we just settled there. A few days ago he told me he wants one more. I am very thrown by this. I have always wanted 3 but I am 38 years old and just feel like my ship has sailed on that.
By the time I had that 3rd baby I would be 39 and our kids would be 8 and 5 1/2 - a pretty big gap. My brothers are a bit older than me and we are very close so I'm not all too concerned with the gap and I know we would be able to figure everything else out (like the fact that we have gotten rid of all of our baby gear, etc.) but I can't shake concerns over my age and having a healthy baby.
Any moms out there who have had a baby at this age? Any advice? Thoughts? I just don't know what to think. MEN! Why didn't he tell me this like 2 years ago???
Thank you!
Thanks for all of your supportive responses. It is nice to know I won't be alone in this late late 30's pregnancy/infant club.
My husband and I have both been very serious about our health lately and have been eating right, exercising a lot, etc. So we decided to continue with that for two more months where I will be in tip top shape. Then I will go to my doctor and talk to him about all the questions/concerns, etc. If doctor gives us the green light we will go for it. (btw - we clearly won't stop eating right, etc. in two months - that is just the date we are putting on making this decision).
Oh my how things can change in your life in a matter of days!
I was 38 when I had my 4th child and my oldest was 7 1/2. they are the best of friends and my oldest loves that his little brother looks up to him and like to play with him. My oldest has even thought about when he goes to HS and that he can walk his younger brother to and from school - so they can hang out for a while before dad gets home.
Go for it! I sometimes wish that we had a 5th!
Go for it! You won't regret having a baby, you may regret not having a baby. 38 & 39 is not too old. Good luck!
You will never regret having a 3rd child. Trust me.
I'm jealous that your husband wants a 3rd!!!
Go for it and welcome the third into your family. It may be a little difficult at first, but the rewards of a third child will be well worth it in the long run.
Good luck to you and yours.
I had my first child when I was 38. and my second child is 2 months old. I had him when I was 41.
Psh, I'd go for a FOURTH....NOW, if I had that option, and I'm 45!
Or you could get him a puppy.
:)
I have two children who are almost 8 and 4 1/2 and am expecting my third this summer. I'm 41. I won't lie and say it is easy. Having two active boys and being pregnant is very tiring. I,also, get worried some days about the health of this baby. It seems all I hear from my doctor is what could go wrong and about all the tests that she can offer me to check and see if the baby is healthy. However, my husband and I and our children are super excited awaiting the arrival of this little one. I just do the best I can and try to keep the worry to a minimum(I pray instead). Good luck with your decision!
I was 41 when our 3rd child was born. Our daughter was 8 1/2 and my son was 7 to the day, yes our 3rd child (a boy) was born the exact same day as our other son. Our 3rd is perfectly healthy and I had no problems during the pregnancy. I was sick the first few months just like I was my other 2 pregnancys. He is now 3 years old and keeps all of us on our toes. Good luck to you and your family.
we always wanted three. had two. easy. when my son was 7 and daughter was 4 i found out that i was pregnant. I was 37. I wouldnt trade her for anything. made it easier with the other kids. they played with her a lot. now 15 son and 13 daughter. Jule is 8 they dont like her around much. lol but they still love her.
Many of us -and many women have babies in their late 30s and early 40s. I had my last baby at 38. Most of my friends who are having children did so in their late 30s. If you're up for it and actually want another child, there should be no reason why you wouldn't be able to carry and have a healthy baby. I made sure I got all of the testing done so I would know if there were any chromosomal or other issues they can test for, but everyone I know who has had a child with issues has actually been under 35.
My boys are 8 & 5 and they love love their baby sister! Dont worry about the Gap. In my case it actually worked out great. They are old enough to understand the arrival of a new baby & they are so helpfu, loving & playful. It has been wonderful watching them be Big brothers. So dont worry about the gap...or the age. If you both want a baby then go for it! Blessings
Go for it!
My kiddos range in age from DSD15, DS12, DD5, and DS18 months. I will be 41 in Feb.
Since he wants another child, and you are concerned about the health of the baby at your age (there is a higher chance of down syndrome - you can discuss this with your dr.) why not adopt ? There are millions of babies out there waiting to be adopted from all over the world - this would meet both of your requirements.
I wouldn't worry so much about the age gap - I have a 9, 14, 16 (a 7 yr. gap between oldest and youngest), your 'gap' is nothing at all to be concerned about. I think family would pull together to get you the things you needed, but seriously consider adoption. That is my biggest regret, I am too old now but wish I had also adopted several kids (3 or so) from all over the world. If I could do it all over again, that's what I would have done.....
LOL...I became a mother, via adoption, at age 50!! I know you're only thinking about bio-mothering, but my mom had my only sibling when she was 41...and I was 15 years old. Old mothering runs in my family. My sister and I are very close, we even live on the same block.
Did you know that the statistics show that women who become mothers later in life live longer? I don't think you should worry as much about your age as whether you want a third child. And of course, if you have health concerns and you do want another, you CAN always adopt. I could not have biologically produced a more perfect child for me than the one I adopted.
Not me, but I'm the youngest in my family. My sister had her 3rd at 39, my sil had her first at 38 (after a few miscarrages when she was much younger) with no problem and her second 4 years later. That being said, there are real concerns. Think about how you would deal with them. Remember, even when the statistics go up, you have a much better chance of having a healthy baby than having problems. It's pretty hard to make these decisions! Good luck to you!
K.
I was 33, 35 and 37 when I had our three, and I know I'm not the only "older" mom around... it's so common, it seems ridiculous to me that OBGYN offices still label the files of 35-and-older pregnant women with "AMA" stickers ("advanced maternal age".) All my pregnancies went well and the kids are healthy and full of energy!
Before I got pregnant with #3 I was a bit scared of the thought of having three; more scared about being mistaken for the kids' grandmother; most scared about the changes we'd have to make (trading the Honda Civic for a minivan, for one.) But my biggest reason for going for it was, will I regret having a third child? Or will I regret not having one?
I am happy to report that having three has not wreaked nearly as much havoc on our household as people warned me it would. Our baby is 15 months old now and such a happy little guy; he's the first grandson and a real blessing. I am so happy he's here!
I had my children at 38 and 40, and blessedly, no problems.
Although its true that the risk of certain genetic abnormalities goes up, the odds are still largely in your favor. If there's a 3% risk something will go wrong, there's still a 97% chance everything will be fine. I tried to look at it that way.
Good luck!
