Did Anyone Watch Dr. Oz Yesterday? When Am I Too Old to Have a Baby?

I have three friends of mine who are 35, 41, 47 trying to have a baby. None of them can get pregnant and two of them have tried everything, including IVF. That makes ME think I am not going to wait for myself to have baby #3. I am 33 right now. I don't want to be that person that is crying on my shoulder saying they shouldn't have waited....

Most of the moms I know &/or have met up HERE are in their early 40's when they start.

College, & often Post Grad studies
A good 5+ years establishing their career
Marriage
A good 5+ years establishing their marriage

Which puts women in their late 30's or early 40's.

It's just the normal up here. In my son's elemntary school I was the ONLY mom in her 20's. Every other mother was in her 40's-50's. When we go out with MY mum, she's the one people automatically assume is his mother.

Statistically do chances of genetic abnormalities increase after 40? Yep.
Are there a lot more children with genetic abnormalities up here where most moms are in their 40's to start? Nope.

I had my kids at 22, 37 and 39. For *me* 40 is too old (barely squeaked that last one out in time!).

Dr. Oz, IMO, is kind of a health extremist. I would use the grain-of-salt philosophy with talk shows and your intuition above all else (including current state of health).

I had my first at 39. Did I want one sooner? Yes. Was I ready and in a loving relationship. No!

I am glad I waited and am grateful to have a wonderful, active, hilarious 22-month-old (and a loving, wonderful hubby).

Do I want another? Yes. But we shall see....and until then I will avoid the "experts!"

It all depends on your overall health, your mental state, your personal circumstances, and genetics. There are people who can have a healthy baby and be healthy themselves in their mid to late 40s, there are those who can't conceive after 35. The only way to know if you're still fertile is to have tests done. And even then, it is no guarantee.

I had my last child at age 36 and I almost died, literally. The baby was premature and it was touch and go for us for the first month. That pregnancy and birth kicked my butt. But going into it, I was in what people consider excellent shape and health.

When it comes to the actual "mothering" part, I can honestly say I don't have the energy or same interests when it comes to baby time, playing, etc. as I did when I was younger. It does get harder both psychologically and physically. You will also discover that it is very hard to find other moms your age with young babies to socialize with....which as your child gets to be of an age where playdates are important, is frustrating. Sure there are lots of moms with young babies, but not that many who are your age, with similar shared challenges and problems because of where you are in life.

There is a difference between someone who has had an established career starting a family and someone who has chosen to do so as their primary vocation (no rub on anyone, but it is cause for isolation for many an older mom) It's a big deal...more than people will let on. All of my peers (friends I grew up with) had their kids in their mid to late 20s or have chosen to have NO children at all but to focus on career instead. I started in my mid 30s. So all of my friend's kids are way younger than mine, with the exception of two who aren't very close, making socializing more challenging and seldom because we no longer have much in common.

I have a friend who has been trying to conceive her first child. She waited because she wanted to be financially fit. Well, her finances are mint and her career settled at age 43. After trying for several months and a terrible miscarriage, she just found out she's probably going to have to adopt.

Statistically, fertility goes down after 35 and health risks for both baby and mom go up. While anything is possible with faith and science, I say the sooner the better for health, social, and sanity reasons.

Don't get me wrong...having kids is a wonderful blessing. It's just challenging no matter what your age is, and even more so when you choose to be an older mom with young children. And even then, for first time moms or those wanting to add one more, there are no guarantees you will be able to have anymore without medical intervention or without medical challenges.

With all that said, if you really want another child, go for it. I think Dr. Oz isn't saying not to have them, I think he's saying women need to be realistic about their options. Fertility doesn't last forever and he's telling women to plan accordingly if family is important for them. I think people need to think about it. We put so much energy into career and take family (conceiving one) for granted. It isn't a right, it's a privilege. If you want children you only have a small window of time and also need to keep in mind the sacrifice it entails from the potential physical challenges, financial, and emotional investment. It's a big deal, but for some reason so many people put it on the level of buying a house or car. There is always another house or car around the corner, but not necessarily another opportunity to have a child.

I know that our eggs do get old and few, so they say. That's funny, my daughters just asked me today how old I was when I had them. I have 7(first one at age 21), but my last four perfectly healthy children (Elizabeth is 9, Theresa is 6, and the Twin boys, John & Dan are 2!) came from 35 and up. I am now 44. So I said to them "You know, they told me I shouldn't have had you at my age." Maybe it was a little much to share at their age, but it came out anyway. When I told my husband who is now 53, that we were pregnant with twins (we conceived while he was home on leave from Iraq) I told him that Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90 when Isaac was born! LOL, but seriously! With Theresa, I had a blood test and they determined she might have down sydrome, then they made me have tons of ultrasounds and were sure that her pinky was missing!! She was born perfect thankfully. I did not have that screening with the subsequent pregnancy. What a scare. Ugh.

Grrr, if I run into Dr Oz in a dark alley, he'd better RUN the other way.

No, you are NOT selfish. No you are NOT too old. You are a mature, responsible, educated woman doing what's best for your family.

;{

Many are choosing to have children in their mid-later 40's. That's great for them, and many make wonderful parents with healthy children, but I don't want to be in my mid-late 60's when my child is in his/her 20's, but that is also b/c I am not already in the best of health, (I will probably have my last around 34-ish, I am currently 30). It is totally a personal preference with what you and your family are comfortable with.

TV shows are put on for ratings, not for disseminating accurate and unbiased information.

Yes, there are added risks as we age. The chances of genetic abnormalities increase with the age of our eggs. The chance of having difficulty getting pregnant goes up with age. These are statistical realities.

I'm glad I didn't do too much research, or watch too much TV, before I went off the pill and got pregnant with my wonderful, healthy, smart, now 9 year-old daughter who was born 4 days before I turned 41! She's the light of my life and I love being an older, wiser, more patient mom than I was to my two stepkids in my 20s and 30s. I had an enjoyable, uncomplicated pregnancy and natural birth.

I think it is good to realize the potential difficulties of being an older parent, but not to let others' stories scare us. At any age, we can't guarantee anything in life - health, employment, etc. We just need to make decisions based on our best knowledge and our willingness to deal with the outcomes.

It gets harder and the chances of complications is alot greater. We had trouble getting pregnant and at one point the Doctor told us to adopt. I had a still born at 37 and my daughter 2 months shy of being 40. All the test and so on was a little much. If I had found my husband sooner I would not have waited. If you dont have to wait, dont. Plus you dont want the gap between the kids too big. It's better for them later in life. My daughter will be my one and only because I started so late. She will be 4 in March. She has a 15 year old brother and a 19 year old sister from my husbands first marriage. With the age gap so big (and the fact that they are half siblings) there lives are started and they arent around much, my daughter probably wont be very close to them in her adult life. Kind of sad to me.

I also have 2 girlfriends that waited. Both of them are successful established career women. When she was barely 40 and newly married she couldnt get pregnant. After being tested she found out she was in menopause. No baby. My other friend who is the same age as me is going through all the fertility treatments and still no baby. Again if you dont have to wait, dont.

Huh? Almost everyone in my circle of friends had their children after 35. Very few had problems. I waited until 40 and had no issues either getting pregnant or with the pregnancy.

I did try to have a 2nd at 43 = 4 IUIs and 1 IVF - with no success. If I could have afforded trying a couple more IVF rounds, I would have done it. However, it is much, much more difficult getting pregnant in your 40s and a much higher risk of genetic issues.

Late 30s, though? Unless someone has a history of fertility problems I don't think it's a huge issue. Just takes a little longer.

MOST Moms I know, are "older" Moms.
Which is actually, common now.
Moms who had kids in the late 30's or early 40's.

I had my 1st child, when I was over 35.
My 2nd child, when I was, well, in my 40's.
I got pregnant naturally each time. On purpose. Had normal pregnancies. Had the Amniocentesis (my choice). It was fine.

Again, it is COMMON to have kids, at the age you are or thinking of.
If anything, talk to your OG/GYN.

And by the way, you are NOT "old."

You are not too old, but you should educate yourself on the risks. I had my first child when I was 38 and my second child when I was 41. Both are very healthy.

Well, let's see. I know women who got pregnant when their kids were in high school. They thought they were going through menopause and found out they were pregnant. We're talking 15, 16, 18 year age differences.
All the babies in the situations I'm familiar with were surprises, to be sure, but born healthy and are absolute joys to their families.
Many "older" moms feel they have much more patience and enjoy the benefit of being more settled in their lives.

That's just what I've seen.

Best wishes.

My baby #2 was born when I was 34. I was nervous about my age being a factor in complications with me and/or baby. I went to a perinatologist (due to 2 possible issues that both turned out to be nothing) and he told me that he focuses much more on the overall health of the woman than her age. The scary 35 mark for "Advanced Maternal Age" was drawn because that is where the odds even out between the chances of a chromosomal abnormality and the chances of serious complications due to amiocentesis testing.
I would say focus on getting yourself in great shape, physically and mentally, and you will be ahead of moms in their 20's who are couch potatoes :)

well who knows. Experts will tell you all sorts of things. I think the statistics are skewed as well. However, your body hits a point when the cells degrade. Ova are cells. They degrade. The chances are higher of having an un-healthy baby. Though if you and your partner have minimal health risks on both side of your family, chances are great to have a perfectly healthy child. I mean really if 60 year olds can have them I think when nature wants you to have them then you should. After 36 I dont believe in using fertility. That increases the chances of multiple births and babies with more defect. I think I would let nature take its course. I was always under the belief, and I know tons of moms on here will not like what I have to say. I feel that if you need lots of help to have them, then you were not meant to. at 24 and married I could not get pregnant or keep a baby alive with my husband. I kept having miscarriages, and a one stillbirth. I resigned to the fact I was never going to have any, even when it was found that my husband was the issue to our problems. After divorce for other reasons, I re-married and had 3 beautiful babies. Last baby was born at 36. I had no real serious complications, but one of my children was born with Craniosynostosis. There is not mental or physical problems with her its more cosmetic now. I do believe now that I have done more research, that it had to do with my weight and her position in my uterus. Had I been younger, in better shape, and not so tired and laying down maybe she would have been ok... so far they say this is not genetic but there is no conclusive evidence as to the cause of premature skull suturing. I kinda think it had to do with my age.

I was 38 when my first baby was born and she is beautiful and healthy. I was a little apprehensive to try for another but I didn't want to allow fear to be the reason I didn't try. I am 33 weeks pregnant and so far it has been a textbook pregnancy. All I can say is I am glad I didn't let my age stop me. I will be close to 40 when my DD is born.

As far as decreased fertility-- we tried to have our first child when I was in my twenties and had given up completely after 8 years of heartache. Two years after giving up, we were blessed with our miracle baby girl. The next time we tried it took ONE MONTH!

You can look at statistics all you want, but ultimately it is in the hands of the Lord. He can open the womb any time He chooses.

Well it probably just depends on the person and their body. I have to say for myself and ALL my good friends. We all traveled, worked and went to graduate school and did post graduate research work through our 20s to early 30s. We all just started having our first babies at about age 35. I had my 2nd at age 39. All these good friends are now about 40 to 45 and everyone has healthy wonderful children. I think your perspective depends on the type of people that are around you.

Well I'm 42 and I just had my second baby last year when I was 41 and my firstborn I had when I was 2 weeks shy of turning 39. I had no problems at all. For my second pregnancy I had to have the non stress tests done but everything was ok, it's just what the doctors want so they can be sure the baby is ok. I would love a third but I know my clock is ticking. I don't look at it like I'm too old because aside from back problems, I certainly don't feel my age and luckily I don't look it either. So we'll see what transpires. Everyone is different. I have lots of energy for my kids and I like being home with them. I had my fun when I was younger and now I just want to be with my children. Don't let people scare you. There are plenty of us older mommies out there.

I think there are pros and cons no matter what. I was 35 when I gave birth to my daughter, I turned 36 four days later. She is healthy, happy and no abnormalities. I think if you are healthy with a healthy life style then why wouldn’t you have another child later on. I am glad I had my daughter later in life, I know and understand so much more now then I did at 20.

IMHO, the two factors contributing toward a healthy baby are a) the genetic/health history of its parents and their families and b) the "que sera, sera" factor that affects every situation.

I had my daughter when I was 35. Despite a healthy pregnancy, negatives for all the test results, and a safe delivery, my child is moderately developmentally delayed. I did everything "right", including having a baby before 40, and she still wasn't healthy. My advice is if you want another child, go for it, but bear in mind that there is a sword of Damocles that hangs above us all. You'd only be "selfish" if you assume you're somehow exempt.

It depends on YOUR body. There are plenty of woman who can have children in their mid 30's and 40's. There are plenty who can't have any at any age, or at a young age. It's so personal and so dependent on how your body works. Yes, biologically it is harder to get pregnant. Yes, some genetic and chromosomal things are higher risk (even that is relative, depending on the person.) BUT, that doesn't mean you're selfish, or too old. It simply means you weigh all the risks and benefits. Which, you should do at ANY age. The biggest issue for me, would be do I want to be 54 when my child graduates high school. Do I want those years for retirement, or am I OK with working paying for college and raising a child. I would weight those things more heavily (just me, not saying you should) then whether my body is too old.

For what it's worth, my mama gave birth to my sister when she was older than 36, and she had me even later. Her mother was older than that when she gave birth to my mother. I'm certainly glad these television shows weren't around then. However, there were magazine articles and back-fence admonitions!

I'm not one to ask. Had my children at 35, 37,39 and almost 43. If I had met my DH years earlier I would have had them younger, but I didn't. I did with what I was given and feel so blessed. I still got the family I wanted. I just had to wait longer. (And I agree, Dr. Oz is often an extremist. His sensationalism brings in good ratings.)

My family probably thought I was 'too old' too. I'm glad I didn't listen.

Hi there,
I had my first child at the age of 35 (she is almost 5) and I have a 16 month old now. I will be turning 40 in March. We had no problems getting pregnant, and I have had no miscarriages. (thankfully, because I don't know how I would have handled that)
Your not being selfish, as long as your financially set, go for it!!!
If we had more money, I would totally have a 3rd child.........but that's not going to happen. Plus, my husband just had a vasectomy.........no more babies for us.
Good luck!

Once you turn 35 getting pregnant starts to take longer but most people don't have too much trouble between 35 and 40. Age 40 is when it starts to get much harder. That said, some people don't have any problems and some people can't get pregnant at all. If you can get pregnant easily you'll have an easier time of it. Since you've already successfully gave birth your chances are better than if you've never had a successful pregnancy. I think around 40 is when your eggs really start popping out (n preparation for menopause) and your chances of having twins increases.

You're too old when YOU think you're too old. Talk to your OB/GYN about the risks associated with pregnancies at older ages. Fertility does decrease and risks of birth defects increases; but most moms in thier 40's or even 50's have healthy and happy babies.

I didn't see the show, but, I had #2 at 36. #3 at 39. And, w/ both I had a amnio, #3 was a surprise, I was on the pill....And, there were concerns, but, she was a normal baby.

I had my children when I was 41 and 43 years old. Great pregnancies, excellent deliveries, healthy babies. I do know that it gets more difficult as you approach and pass 40, but from looking at my friends and me, it wasn't the case. (And my mother was 39 when I was born!) Exercise, eat well and stay healthy! All the best.

I had my daughters at 38 and 40. They were healthy and I had healthy pregnancies. I didn't meet my husband until I was 36, so that's just the way it is. We didn't have much difficulty getting pregnant. The first pregnancy happened right away, the second took us almost 6 months of trying. The cool thing about being of "advanced maternal age" was that, because of the worries the docs had, I got to have ultrasounds constantly! I got to see my girls a lot before they were born. I worked with some "younger" pregnant women at the time and they were jealous that I got to see my babies so often and they didn't. Good luck!

36 is certainly not too old to have a baby but your fertility does decrease with age. Dont quote me but I think after age 38 female fertility decreases significantly so although it is still possible to get pregnant it is more difficult.

Be true to yourself and do what you and your husband/sig other feel is best. There will always be people out there who will waste their time passing judgement so live your life the way you see fit and be happy!

My mom had me at 37 and had the other three kids by the time she was 26 so she always says..."it was a different experience" but a lot advances in 10+ yrs too! I always joke that I didn't do "anything real in life til I was in my thirties..." I got married 3 mos before I turned 30. Had a child the next year, then another one 18 mos later. I did have a birthchild at 26 and he was placed with a couple who were in their early 40s; he has an older sister Sarah who was also adopted. I know his mom and dad experienced a lot of miscarriages until they finally sought out building a family through adoption. I have not had more children because I had a healthy girl and boy and my husband had kids from a previous marriages as well. I had a tubal ligation. If something did happen to one of my kids or I felt a premonition that we should have more kids, I would either look at adoption or possibly get the ligation reversed. I think we know are own situations best and there is always something out there to be "devil's adovate" or scare us to death!

I have an 8 year old and a 5 month old. I'm 37. Both pregnancies were great. And actually the age gap is really great.

The older daughter loves being a big sister and younger daughter is having much fun laughing at the antics my 8 year does to make her laugh. I have a friend who had her first at 40 and second at 43. Follow your heart. If it's meant to be, it's wonderful! Oh and we are not financially "set" but definitely family, love and healthy living "set".

I feel that having children also keeps you young.

Call me crazy...that's just me! Good luck!

Oh...and there are plenty of mamas in their 20s who can have complications during pregnancy.

I got married when I was 38 and had my son 3 months before I turned 40 (I'm 49 now). I had no problems getting pregnant and my son is perfectly healthy. You're only too old when the parts you need to have a baby don't work anymore. However, having a baby at 40 is much harder on your body then having one at 30 or 35. So if you really want to do it, it is easier the younger you are. I have 2 friends who their first babies when they were 45. Hope this helps.

I am 36 yrs old and 11wks pregnant with my second child. Had my 1st in 2007. At my last appointment they told me all the things that can happen because I am over 35 years old. Came out of office feeling very overwhelmed. But now that I have thought about all the options I have decided to have the blood work done and see if there is any need to go further with testing for issues. I know several people that have had healthy babies that were in their late 30's. I just keep thinking that no one in my family has ever had any issues so I am hoping that I will also have a healthy baby. Honestly I don't feel to old to have another baby. I have the energy to go to school full-time and chase after my 4 year. So I will be replacing my school energy into baby energy once he or she is born. Also I think the age between kids is an advantage because he will be starting school in the fall about 3 wks after the baby is born so I will still have mornings to spend with the baby which I think will work out great. Good luck!

Here are your real factors. Are you currently healthy? Close to your ideal weight? Active? Did your mother or grandmother go through ealy menopause? Did they or you have complicated periods? Fibroids? Do you have diabetes, PCOS, high blood pressure? Downs or other genetic issues in the family? If you are in good shape great if not work h*** o*. Getting there. If everything else looks like no problems wait, if there are any and you really want another start with a doctor now to figure out what is best.

I was 39 when I had my daughter and remarkably healthy and still able at 47. As much as I would love another child, I don't want to be 70+ when they graduate college so I consider myself too old , but at your age? No way! Nor are you selfish. Nurturing a child is about exactly opposite of being selfish.