My son will be two in August and he has been in this hitting stage for months now. He really only hits me, usually in the face, when I am holding him or close to his face. I've tried timeouts, talking to him and I have yelled a few times. I don't know how to stop him. I don't think he does it to be mean to me, he just knows that it gets a reaction out of me and he is at that "testing mommy" age! Any suggestions?
Coincidentally, i just recieved an informational e-mail from babycenter.com ( i recieve weekly e-mails ever since signing up for free when i was pregnant).
anyway 3 doctors responded. i tried to cut&paste their answers with not luck.
so go to that website and look up "my baby is hitting me" and see if you can find it.
We went through hitting months ago (24 months now), and what worked for us was a firm (not loud), stern, "NO," and putting him down immediately and walking away. He hates that. When he'd follow me, I'd ignore him until he asked to be held again, and then I'd scooch down to get my face by his, and calmly tell him what has become my "hitting lecture":
Hits hurt. You hit Mommy, and it hurt Mommy. You are not to hit. Mommy doesn't hit you - not nice to hit. We don't let people hurt us, and we don't hurt people.
Then he has to say he's sorry and we hug and kiss, and it's over and done with.
Good luck!
Hi T.,
I suggest that once hit you immediately remove yourself from the child. If you are holding him, put him down. Don't react, stay calm and when you put him down or walk away just calmly say, mommy does not like being hit.
It may take a few times and the child may react strongly at first but this will work. The child wants you attention and reaction and when you take this away they will stop the hitting.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
If you haven't tried this yet, I suggest you try ignoring him. If he hits you put him down(in his crib, pack-in-play, playpen) without a word and walk away from him. NO REACTION or communication until he says he's sorry. Freeze him out totally! It will make a quick impact if you are consistant! Do this if he hits anyone! Remember to keep your rules of behavior clear and simple and the consequences quick and consistant! Good luck and best wishes!!
I agree that ignoring him/walking away with a firm "we don't hit" response is the way to go. Also at two, timeouts never worked for my son, but what DID was taking a favorite toy and putting it (in plain view) on the fridge for a set amount of time. He's gotta be REALLY into something at this age--so make it his MOST favorite toy of all. It gets the point across that when they do an undesirable behavior, there are consequences.
It is hard dealing with this antic. You must get it through to him that you are the adult. Some parents retort to giving it back as hard as he gives it and then tells them that the slapping hurts. I do not think this is cruel if done promptly when he does it to you. It will probablly scare him and he will think twice about the slapping.
My son did the same thing starting around 18 months. I told him " no hitting" and if continued to do it I would remove him from whatever situation he was in - like you it was usually me that he hit so I would either put him in his pack and play or high chair for a short time out. He did stop hitting eventually and I can't even remember the last time he did it.
First of all, this is just a stage that all toddlers go through. My son is 3 and he still hits sometimes. Your son will grow out of it. Now, having said that, one thing you could try is to just walk away from him when he does this. I agree with you that you son is doing this to get a reaction out of you. So, don't react, walk away. Another idea would be to take him to his room and shut the door every time he hits. Don't say anything to him, just put him in his room. I have used both of these methods with my kids and they seem to work with my kids.
Good luck.
Hi,
my son really started hitting a lot at 15 mos--but really slapping me in the face, it was so disrespectful--i used "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child" ( out of print, find on eBay), and it helped a lot, but my son was younger. at that age the discipline was just ending the contact "we were aving fun, you hit me, i am leaving you in your room for 1 minute until you apoligize". it worked between us.
I was able to curb my son's hitting with me, but then as he got older he hit his grandma and he BIT HIS DAD! My hub had to wear long sleeve shirts all summer because of the marks. One night, my hub said "look at me, I am in an abusive relationship" and it was true--he was covered in bruises. he asked and asked and asked around, and for the biting he was told to pinch my son right when he bit him. We were psycho-no-physical punishment people--and it worked for me and my son, but my son was just physically abusive to his dad--and dad had to pinch 2X--we haven't had a bite in weeks.
Also, I don't think my son is a bad kid for being soooooo physical. i just think he's par for the course for boys.
I just talked to pediatrition about this on Monday. My son is 19 months and started doing this a month ago. He closes his fist and, as you said, it isn't in anger, just hitting for the reaction. The doctor said a firm "NO" and a time-out in a crib or pack-n-play.
Good luck.
