Well the good news is I have a two year old boy with a great appetite; He eats veggies and meat with no problems (usually). The bad news is... he can use a fork and spoon but would rather use his hands as it is easier and quicker. I've been assuming this is fine and his table manners would improve with time, but I'm starting to notice other kids his age useing their spoons and forks and wonder if this is something I need to start working harder on. He enjoys his meals and I would rather him eat a meal than fight over how it gets in his tummy. I feel like there are bigger battles to fight right now, but just wondering if it's normal.
Thanks for the responses. He does do well with yogurt and other foods that he has to use a spoon or fork for and we do have child size cutlery. I think part of the problem is my husband and I are starting to notice he may be left handed. He tends to use his left hand with the foods he has to use cutlery with. It sounds like it's a normal process and I should not be too concerned as I would rather have him eat well than use his cutlery at this time.
Offer utensils when giving him his food. If he doesn't want them, set them down next to his plate. Do this consistently at every meal that would require a utensil. If he watches you eat with them he will eventually pick them up and use them himself. Good luck!
Make it a GREAT week!
S.
One of the reasons your two-year-old is such a good eater is that he touches his food. Often moms are too anxious to have their kids use a fork and spoon. I’m the author of “Baby Bites: Transforming a Picky Eater into a Healthy Eater.” He is doing naturally what we have to teach picky eaters. Multi-sensory learning is vital to transform a picky eater and that includes touching food. My advice is to let him fully enjoy his food with all his senses and wait a while then reintroduce eating utensils.
A Big Nonna Hug, J. Bruso
First of all, notice where in the family other kids fall. 2nd + children learn this skill much sooner as they have role models. That said, our son, almost 3 still occasionally tries to use his hands even though he's been effective at using a fork and spoon since around 20 months. (He was our second.) It seems to me our older son was at least 2.5 to 3ish. Sorry I don't remember better. GL!
Thank you for this post! My son does the same thing at 2 1/2 years! My other 2 children were less messy but more picky. I choose to pick my battles as well, so I don't mind if he uses his hands. I draw the line at cereal though, and believe me, he tries. I also found that if you find a food, like rigatoni or penne pasta that he can "stab" with his fork and make it a fun thing to do he will use his fork more often. I hope you find this helpful, and good luck!
Well, of course he'd rather use his hands! It's much less tedious and time-consuming, and undoubtedly more fun. But one day he'll have to join the ranks of the civilized eaters. You're smart enough to pick your battles wisely. But maybe there's some sort of food that's really more fun to eat with a spoon... like ice cream, perhaps. Can you invent a game in which he GETS TO (not has to!) use a spoon for at least a certain number of bites? The thing, of course, is to make it both fun and a privilege. I imagine that after playing games with his utensils, he'll eventually come to see that spoons and forks are big boy tools and he'll decide to use them.
You've received a lot of great advice, but I noticed an improvement in my two-year-old when I worked with her on how to hold a spoon properly. The way she was holding it before made it difficult to use; the food often fell off or spilled on her before it got to her mouth. Once I helped her learn how to use it with more success she used it more. Still not 100%, but getting there.
My son is the same way and he's 4 1/2. He knows how to use his utensils, but would much rather use his fingers and then wash his hands when he's done. Some kids are just more textile learners than others and like for their hands to feel everything. The only time I push for silverwear is when we go out in public...and we talk about it before we leave the house so he's not embarrased or caught off guard about not being able to use his hands. You are right though about choosing which battles are worth fighting...and I waould say if he KNOWS how to use utensils, this isn't one of them.
I think it is important to remember that our children are not those other children. My two year old goes between using utensils and her hands. I have noticed over the past few weeks that she has begun to use the utensils more. We haven't done anything special, just let her be her.
Sounds normal. My three-year-old does this,and table manners are kind of a big deal to me, so it's not as if he hasn't been taught. We just keep showing him good examples and gently reminding him to use his utensils when things get too out of hand.
I don't know about you, but I know I often feel annoyed with my kids (three boys) and then realize I'm asking them to do something they cannot really achieve. I've decided it's my job to set them up for success. Table manners is one of these things--I has unrealistic and, frankly, unfair, expectations of my kids with unwieldy, overlarge cutlery. www.forsmallhands.com and also www.onestepahead.com both carry children's sized flatware, wich helps a lot. For Small Hands is one of my favorite resources for lots of things; we got some small glass cups there for my children and they are so, so much nice than plastic ones and are properly durable. Perhaps an appealing place setting would make your child more eager to use silverware?
Best wishes!
I'm with you. First get the eating down, then the mechanics of the tools. Give him the fork and spoon each time and have him with you close by whenever you have meals so he can see you eating with your utensils but why make a war out something that can be taught later through modeling from you and other children you may spend time with at Mom's groups, play dates, and family/friends?
OH, I remember hearing that if you want to understand eating for your wee one to climb up on a ladder with a large salad bowl, oven mittens, and a wooden spoon THEN eat your Cherios. See if you don't decide it's just more sensible to eat with your bare hands? I love this illustration.
Imagine if you had to teach your wee one to use chop sticks at two...WHEW, I'm sure glad I lucked out on that one!!! :)
I think it's normal. My 3 year old loves her fork and spoon but still uses her hands at times. I wouldn't stress over it. they aren't this little long, enjoy the finger eating foods and maybe even join him some times it can be a fun family game. I my dh was stressing over this same issue several months ago so I did a family meal just fingers, with a pasta dish--lol. we all got to remember how fun being a kid is and my dd didn't feel picked on, and I think it also taught her that the finger eating isn't the norm. as you get older but can still be fun. she does insist on using HER forks and spoons. they are the plastic colored disposable ones that you can rewash--(hope that makes sense)
Good to read this request and responses--my 3 1/2 yr old does the same. I ask her to choose one or two things to eat with her hands and the rest she'll try to eat with utensils--it works sometimes. She tells me, "I like the way it feels in my hands!" I can't argue with that, and so I've tried this approach. I think it's best not to stress too much about it. Glad you have such a good eater!
We kind of ignore our son eating with his hands for the first part of the meal when he is really hungry. After he's slowed down a bit, we remind him to use his utensils. He's still getting practice with utensils, but he doesn't have to be frustrated by their slowness when he's starving at the beginning of a meal.
As long as your son is capable of using utensils, I wouldn't worry. Like you said: pick your battles and do what works for you. But, yeah, I'd say your son is perfectly normal! My husband is looking over my shoulder. He says, "I'm 31 and I'd still rather use my hands to eat! It's faster and easier! What's wrong with that?!?"
