2 1/2 Yro Witholding Poop

My daughter (now 5) went through the same thing around 3 years old. We did the Miralax per her pedi and after a week or two she was doing much better. It was the size of it that she was afraid of when she would go and because her poop was so big she was a fraid to go, so we kind of pushed through (literally)the large poops and then after the Miralax kicked it, they got smaller and smaller and she was not afraid to go anymore. I feel for you, it is so hard having them in pain when you know all they have to do it poop. I hope that the Miralax will help I know it did for us! Even know when I know she hasn't gone in awhile I will give ehr some and it works well!! Good luck!

My mother said that my brother had the same problem when he was around the same age. The doctors suggested to use some Karo Syrup, which you can get at the grocery store. Just use a tablespoon in his drink, its supposed to "lubricate" the intestines or something like that, so that they just can't hold it back. It might be a little messy, if he really is fighting it but it seemed to work with my brother. Good luck!

Hello J.. My son is now 5 1/2 and had the same problem. He would cross his legs and turn bright red and still wouldn't go. We too tried everything. The only thing that came close to working was miralax and positive reinforcement. We made a "cocky chart" and we would put up a sticker for every day that he went. If he filled the week with stickers, we would go to the dollar store and get a prize. That worked for quite some time. He still has constipation issues and will still hold it in sometimes, but he also has sensory integration so that plays a big part too. He has gotten much better tho. We no longer do the chart and prizes but he doesn't hold it like he used to either. Hope this helps.

We used Kondremul, it is emulsified mineral oil. It tastes like marshmallow and we gave 1 Tbsp twice a day than down to 1a day. You have to ask at the pharmacy or order online. It is gentle and softens the stool and keeps things moving. It will make it difficult for him to hold it. Just let him know if he lets it out on the potty when he needs to he won't have an accident. Sorry we had the same issue and talked about pushing the poopy out to make your tummy feel better. It is a normal kid hang up, and eventually it will pass and you will be sooo happy!! Believe it or not a warm bath does work. Just be ready to get him on the toilet fast.

Many years ago I had this issue with my daughter. It went on for months. She was even evaluated at a hospital to see if there was some physical issue. What ended up working was temporarily giving her a mild laxative, like miralax, and explaining to her that she needed to practice her pooping and train her body's muscles to poop properly. Her pediatrician spoke directly to her and explained this. He told her (and us) that she needed to go sit on the potty after each meal and try to poop. If not successful, that was okay, just try again the next time. With practice her body would learn to poop easily. This worked really well and in just a week or so, after months of horrible difficulties.

I wouldn't get so elaborate with the stories personifying his poop and wanting the poop to "swim away", etc. You may be inadvertantly making him even more fearful. I'd tell him like it really is, in a matter of fact way, and have him "practice" at opportune times while keeping his poop soft. The miralax should make the urge to poop enough to overcome his fears. Also, get the book "Everybody Poops" to read to him.

Good luck. This too shall pass!

Hi J.,
We went through the same pahse with our son. He would get so constipated and it was so painful for me to see him in so much pain when he finally did go to the bathroom. We used Miralax and still do from time to time. From what I understand the Miralax keeps the bowel movements soft so when gravity finally takes over and the kids can't hold it in any longer, it at least isn't hurting quite as much. Several of my friends have had to use Miralax with their children as well.

We ended up figuring out that milk was constipating our son in turn making his bowel movements hard and painful, which is why he wouldn't go poop. We switched him to Lactaid and the problem seems to be clearing up. Though I didn't have the doctor's advice on that one, I took the advice of friends.

From everything I learned through this process though, it is normal for them to "hold" poop in an effort to maintain control of one aspect of their life. Good luck! It's certainly not fun!

J. deah ( frum Maine you know hehehe)
It is possible he has a fisure...a little "crack" if you will, around the anus.
This is a common occurance, usually from spell of constipation and will heal itself .But it DOES sting and hurt .
Sometimes you can find and see it, other times you cannot if it is very small. It still stings and hurts.Just put a little salve around his anus several times a day.

You say the child was using the potty just fine until the little lump fell out episode? He seems very young to me to be toilet trained, especially for a boy. Maybe he just isnt ready to be potty trained. You could just put him in pullups for few weeks or months , whatever it takes. Most boys are not trained until between three and four.
You could try greasing his anal area with vaseline.
We have a little guy here , three yo, and he is very prone to constipation. We give him yogurt with juice and fruit for breakfast every morning. IF we miss a couple days of a week, then he will be constipated a few days later.
Fruit and yogurt seem to be the best regulators for constipation for our little boy.
All these things that are being tried for the constipation on your child hold the possibility of traumatizing him.
I know you are doing what you think is best, but my word, read your response and transpose yourself into this story.
You are talking of a baby. A very very small child.
Fingers, suppositories, pumping legs, ect ect. stories about poop swimming away...oh my word !!!
He probably feels like he has done something wrong and does not know what it is nor why you all are doing these things to him amd that can be very frightening for a little guy.
Try the miralax, try vaseline on his anus ( put enough and he may not be able to hold the poop in anyway) try fruit and yogurt ( stoneyfield is whole milk, organic, live culture..gotta have the live culture thingy) Try to correct it by diet with as little physical or manual manipulation as possible.
If he hasnt pooed by the third day, then perhaps the suppository (child/infant size)because there is a break in time between the suppository and the using the potty.
Dont keep at him about it for the more you do the more of a problem it can become.
Have you chatted with doc?
Does he have his own potty ? So he can go sit on it when he wants to? In the bathroom? Sounds like you are right, he seems quite frightened of the entire situation.
There is a book, Once upon a Potty, by Alona Frankel,(the boy version of the book) that may get your baby off the merry-go-round of fear. In it the little boy, Joshua, poos on the floor. It may well help your son to see that this can happen to everyone. He simply may not be ready to be completely potty trained.
This seems to me to be a type of situation where less (trying to "fix" it) is best.
You could try backing off and letting him get himself back to his regular routine. He cannot hold it in forever.
Calm down, RELAX...tincture of time, this too, shall pass.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

There used to be a book out there called "Everybody Poops" (or "Everyone Poops" I forget). A lot of kids hold in their poop for a variety of reasons - it can be actual fear of the toilet opening up, it can be resisting the feeling of being controlled vs. controlling something themselves, or any of a handful of other reasons. The more they resist, of course, the more water is absorbed thru the colon and the more they are left with hard and even impacted feces.

If you add a stool softener or laxative, it solves the immediate problem. However, once they go thru this roller coaster of hard poops that won't go out and softened poops that won't stay in, they lose the ability to really get into a pattern. The uncertainty can get them all upset again, especially in one so young. A lot of 2.5 year olds aren't anywhere near being ready to potty train, so it's not unusual that your child would be having problems or would revert back.

Instead of getting into this tug of war between miralax and other products, or the huge involvement of belly massages and other external tricks (which work in the short run but often put more emphasis on the thing that's causing the child stress), why not consider a top quality, research-based supplement that takes the worry out of making sure he's getting a balanced diet with the right amount of fiber and minerals and vitamins? Everyone I know has gotten rid of the problem you have, or never encountered it to begin with.

Happy to share.

have you tried the book Everybody Poops? Kids think that their poop is a part of them and that they will lose something important by doing it. by his holding it, it's making it harder to do so so it turns traumatic. Try to get him to sit and read or play games or sing songs and maybe he'll relax enough to let it happen. My son was the same way. he's constipated a lot so I give him Benefibre to help him. it does help.

Sorry, I have not read anyone's responses, but I have the same problem with my 2 1/2 year old. I was told to have her eat all the "P" foods like peaches, prunes, plums, etc... HOWEVER nothing worked and finally my doctor recommended Miralax. You can buy it at any drugstore. IT IS NOT ABSORBED INTO THE BODY so it's safe to use every day. My doctor gets so constipated that she screams and cries so she has to take this in her milk/juice every other day. hope this helps!

I know this sounds simplistic and in no way do I mean to undermine the severity of the situation, but have you read the book "Everyone Poops" to him? It may help with the emotional side of things. Otherwise, I would keep following the doctor's advice. Best of luck to you!

I generally say that the more fuss we parents make about something, the more difficult it is for kids to "snap" out of it.
It apparently makes him very uncomfortable and may even hurt, when he does number 2. And frankly, what you wrote about trying to help him go (physically) sounds quite traumatizing.
With the right diet and peace and quiet he'll recover.

Help him with nice warm baths, so his muscles relax and he won't be sore.
You can gently massage his belly clockwise to help with the movement.

My son (10) held back his poop due to stress, and his pediatrician said if poop is in the bowels for too long, it looses the water in it and is very dry and hard and painful to get out. We did use a laxative for a day or two and then he went on a dietary supplement for a few months.

Sounds like you have spoken to your doctor. If there is any doubt that he could have swallowed something that would hurt his "other end" I probably would ask him to do an x-ray.

And even if this sounds counterproductive, have you thought of offering him a diaper for his poop? Maybe he would be happier standing up, doing it quietly in a corner or so. Since he is only 2 1/2 I would probably offer one to him.