3Yrs and Scared to poop...how to Handle

Updated on June 25, 2012
C.A. asks from Winchester, VA
8 answers

I have a 3 year old that has just begun to dislike pooping. It started by him hiding to poop which I know is normal for some children but he never hid until he turned about 2 and some change. He would push the plastic dresser out and poop behind it. One time when he was back there he scared me to death, i thought he had somehow gotten out of the house. So I am thinking the hiding and pooping was how it began.
Now he cries when he has to poop and holds it in and repeats,"Mommy help you, mommy help you, mommy help you." He even told me yesterday that his but hurt. I can see him straining also when he does have the actual BM and yes sometimes they are hard and blackish. I know what I need to do for this like calling his ped. and giving him more water and some more fiber with the water. I have been through all the nutrition aspects of it since he was diagnosed with ASD and has a very poor limited diet. But if you have any tips that would be greatly appreciated as well. I am thinking what can be worse than a child that already has communication issues having issues with POOPING?! and I wanna pull my hair out.
So what I am really wondering is How should I handle this, when the episode happens. When he is following me around pleading MOMMY HELP YOU crying and it is so freaking sad how should I react so I will make it less traumatic for him?

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

When they start to hide, that means it's time to poop train them. My son now tells me "go away mommy! I want privacy!"

Get the book "everybody poops." It's terrific.

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More Answers

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

My two year old has suffered from severe constipation for about eight months now (she has Celiac disease and lactose intolerance.) I have tried added fiber, etc...she actually drinks plenty of water (no juice, still breastfed) and eats prunes...and none of it helps. What does help? Miralax. I hate that I have to give it to her, but it keeps her poop soft and keeps her from crying, shaking, and trying to avoid pooping. Pooping was traumatic for her...to the point that she had a few fissures from being so constipated...so I just think for the time being it's easier to continue giving a stool softener.

I feel your pain, believe me. My little one also cries "Mommy help you" (echoing us, because we say "Mommy will help you"...I can just hear your child!) but she hasn't had to in awhile. If I skip more than one day of Miralax, however, she's constipated. Sometimes diet doesn't do it all...honestly, she eats veggies, fruits, etc...and it's just not enough.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

I think you need to ask the person who is treating his ASD since this kind of thing is common for kids with special needs. In the meantime, you should give him some probiotics every day to make it easier for him to pass his stools. I think you need to see a professional since this is not something that you can work through alone. Good luck. :)

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't know how to deal with that part, it sounds like he's so scared of it he's made himself constipated and it hurts to poop.

My daughter had A. issue with being scared to poop on the potty, and the way I dealt with it was to poop in front of her. I absolutely hate having anyone in the bathroom with me when I poop, so it was hard for me, but I brought her in a couple of times when I was going to poop so she could see that everything would be fine. After that, she wanted to poop on the potty. Perhaps you or your son's father could show him by example that it's ok to poop on the potty so he won't try to hold it in anymore?

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

This happened to my daughter at the same age. Her ped recommended using Miralax and boy what A. improvement. She doesn't hate having to poop, no more screaming b/c it hurts, and no more holding it b/c it hurts to go. I would check w/his ped and see if it's ok. My son was on Miralax for several years and now he is off of it. My daughter was taking half the dose but then it stopped working and we had to increase it. It has helped and now it's so much easier for her to go again. Good luck!

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

While my child does not have ASD, I have seen my child & several of my
friends kids' go through this phase w/pooping.
When my son was 3 & 31/2 he would "hide" to poop.
I think it's mostly a natural instinct to want to be alone w/o eyes on him.
Sometimes it would take him awhile. So I watched this.
I made sure he got a lot more fiber in his diet.
One thing that did help were Fiber One bars (they taste like brownies).
Gave my child dried prunes. He like them.
Tried prune juice a couple of times. That did not work.
Tried to get more fiber into his diet at any chance I got.....cereals, etc.
Try everything and remember something.....this is a stage that many kids
w/o ASD go through.
I had to really pay attention to and work "with" his diet.
I tried several different things/ideas/foods until I found what he would eat.
I bought him a few of his very own cool cups for water & he drinks a LOT of that......I think that has helped a lot
Some juice (apple) would help as well. I dilute it w/some water.
Try everything & hang in there....it will get better.

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D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, C.:

Sounds like he is constipated.
Get some Hyland Vit. C. tablets for children

Check the directions and give him enough to make his
poop soft.

Good luck.
D.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

Both my kids loved pooping in diapers but withheld it when we potty trained. Peeing was no problem, but for a while they would ask for a pull up to poop. We tried the chart next to the potty where they would be able to get something after filling in 10 poops in the potty. This only worked after we went to the doctor and got them on Miralax. It is not a laxative but it makes it so that moisture is pulled into the bowel so that poop stays soft. One daughter actually had such large hard bowels that she had some tearing around the anus causing bleeding and pain. It takes months of smooth soft bowel movements to forget about the one time it hurt. So both my kids were on about a teaspoon of Miralax a day for about 6 months. After that they were able to do without the Miralax except for occasional times. It is now available without prescription and I think CVS even has its own generic cheaper version. Good luck.

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