2 1/2 Year Old Son All of a Sudden Won't Go to Bed

We had the same issue at almost 2...we bought him a toddler bed (the kind that fits the crib mattress) and had him help us put it together. Within two nights he was back to normal. He may be ready for the next step in beds and doesn't know how to comunicate to you that he feels trapped in his crib. Just a thought.

Hi - I have a 2 1/2 yo Nicholas too :)

We went through something similar, and it turns out that a stuffed animal in his room (which had been there since birth) was suddenly scaring him.

I've since heard that this is common - that at this age, night vision improves, and things look different in the dark than they do in the light (as during nap times). For us, the solution was as simple as putting that animal in another room, and he went back to sleeping great.

Good luck!

This sounds so similer to a problem I had not too long ago--only my 2 year-old son all of a sudden became afraid of a bath. It took us a couple weeks to figure out what it was--he was afraid of the shower! Now we cover it up with a towel and everything's back to normal. Even though he can talk and communicate very well, he just couldn't tell us what it was that scared him so bad. Maybe something is scary to your son now? I know ours happened all of a sudden for No Reason. We tried process of elimination--maybe taking away one of his animals, shutting the closet, getting a new night light--anything at all that might help! I know it's So Frustrating at this age!!! Hope you find it...!

Try letting him take a book to bed with him so he can "read" himself to sleep.

What if, after you do your routine, you sit in there with him (in a chair, by the door) in the dark while he falls asleep? Don't talk to him, don't look at him, just sit there so he knows you're there. He's old enough now that he knows getting "really upset" gets a reaction-- you are going to have to be consistent with him.

It is going to take a few days of breaking him of going to your bed... but you've got to be firm on that unless you want him in bed for the next couple of years. Just tell him he needs to sleep in his room, and you'll be right next door if he needs you.

If he is talking at his age ask him what is going on. he is scared for some reason. sometimes they have night mares are that age. put a night light in. may be get him a sound soother to go to sleep. my son has a thing that is shaped like a mushroom and it projects different shapes on the wall and goes around the room on the wall. it makes soothing sounds or music. you are right if you do it now then he will expect to sleep in the bed with you. the bed is for you and the husband not the children. some things need to be kept for you and him.

He is experiencing the terrible two stage, but unless your tolerance for crying is good, let him cry it out, but for me, sleeping between us made all of us happy, and my son is now 19 years old, a very good and respectful child who his college peers tells him all of the time, you were a happy child, you must have been loved and never spanked, and my daughter is 12 and we had to do the same sleeping pattern for her, and she is too a very happy and peaceful child. It worked for us, maybe it will work for you too, we eventually had to go from a full-size bed to a King Bed thou. Happy Sleeping at Night

Like you, my 2 1/2 year old daughter has always been an excellent sleeper. During Christmas we were visiting my parents out of town and she got used to sleeping in the same room as me. When we got her home she did not want to sleep alone in her room. She was napping fine but it was at bed time we were having a problem. So, I did as you have been doing. I would put her in bed with me and my husband would sleep in the spare room. She would be fine in our room and it just seemed easier than her screaming and getting all worked up. Each night I would try to put her in her bed and she eventually got out of the habit of sleeping with us. I still have some issues putting her to bed so I will go in at night and lay her down and she will get upset and stand up so I will pick her up and just rock her in my arms for a bit until she is relaxed and then lay her down and sometimes she asks to lay down. It seems like once I get her past that initial struggle she is ok. Sometimes she will continue to cry once I put her in but I let her go for a minute and she usually falls asleep within a couple minutes. I hate hearing her scream and cry because I never had to let her cry it out either so I just tried doing something that made her feel better without having her get all worked up. I hope this works! Just hold him and let him know mommy is there :) Also, do you have a little night light in his room? We have one in our daughter's room so there is a little light in there for her. Good luck!!
Oh, one more thing, my daughter naps for 3 hours and still goes to bed around 7:30 or 8:00. I think if he is napping that long then he needs his sleep.

Hi J.,

Have you thought about cutting his nap time to 1 1/2 hours.

Wake him up after the 1 1/2 hrs.

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

Wow. This could've been written by me. My son was always a great sleeper as well. Same deal at nap time. And
although the bringing our son into our bed started with him being sick. After that I think he really learned to maipulate us (crying incinsolably, getting so upset, etc) to get into our bed. It got so bad that he wouldn't go to bed until we did (and didn't get near enough sleep) or we had to go into our bed with him until he fell asleep (which put whichever parent was in bed with him out of commission because by that time you are dead tired too). So I say all of that to say I truly think it's a test of limitations. Be strong and stick to your guns or it will turn into a nightmare. It has been 2 weeks and our son is now in a toddler bed. We have institued a routine and yes he still cries for a few minutes when we initially leave his room but then he's fine. He still wakes during the night sometimes and one of us will go sit in his room for a few minutes but for the most part we have regained control over the situation. Hope this was helpful.
T.

Don't really have any great advice since haven't had this issue. But we have an almost 3 year old and he takes a little more time to fall asleep than he used to also. We have a very similar routine to yours - but now he lays in the bed with the light on for 10 mins after we read our last book and he "reads" his books. Then we say lights out and we turn them off and he eventually goes to sleep. You could try that. Or - also - what about making bedtime a totally new fun experience with a "big boy" bed?

You set yourself back by letting him come to bed with you! No worries, it can be salvaged, but he'll try with all his might now that he knows he will get to come to your bed if he gets upset enough. Be firm, and wait it out. Nothing is wrong, he's in a phase where he doesn't want to go to bed himself. take Charge!

Hi J.,
I know all kids are different and some require more sleep than others. Also, some like to sleep more than others! That said, I'm thinking maybe his two 3-hr naps are possibly rendering him NOT sleepy by 8:00. Only you can judge this based on his behavior, crankiness, etc.
I remember that by that age, my son had dropped O. of his naps so he had O. nap per day. And at 3, the naps were but a faint, sweet memory!
Also, try not to let him nap too close to dinnertime. If you don't want to outright "wake him up" after about 90 minutes, just do things to let your presence in the house be known, by making some subtle noise (vacuum, put clothes away, etc.).
You might find that with O. nap per day (and it can still be a fairly long O. as long as it doesn't go past 3 or 4, he may be drowsier by his bedtime.
Does he have a cool night light? Maybe get him a push-light that he could turn on and off by himself. You could also play a soft, relaxing CD in his room so he has something to do before he conks out.
I agree, once you start letting him sleep in your bed, it will be hard to put a stop to it. At this point, he is really training YOU, and you need to turn the table back. You can go in and comfort him if he is upset but try not to talk too much or pick him up. Just say "time to sleep", etc. Keep it very brief.
Also, does he have a snack before bed? My son seems to sleep better when he has O..
Hope some of this helps. Good luck!

Hello J.,
I had the same problem with my 2 year old daughter. So I changed her bedtime from 7:30 to 8:30 and it worked. If this is not working out for you I would agree with the suggestion of one of the other moms and wake him up from his nap. I am not sure about the idea to put him in a toddler bed. I did that and first everything was perfekt, but after a few weeks it started all over again only this time she would get out of her bed and knock on the door and cry. So I put her back in her crib. (I know I am not suppose to do that, but after days and weeks without sleep you get desperate.)
Good Luck.

Well, his naps, what time are they? When he was going to bed with no issues was he napping that long? If it is like normal say around 12, and he is sleeping almost 3 hrs, that means he is waking at 3pm. It could be be that really he is not tired at that time at night. Try waking him after an hour and a half. Around this age plus a few months is when my daughter gave up naps, and went to bed much earlier. Your not doing anything wrong. I think your making a great choice on not letting him sleep in your bed, cause yes, that opens a door that is hard to shut. I am interested in seeing your responses.