16 Year Old with ADHD?

Interesting first question.

Are you sure you have the proper diagnosis? Most kids with ADHD will take their meds, as it helps them focus and perform better in school, and especially if administered by an a parent.

How does he get to school? I would enforce a meal/med regime every single morning. Period. Or you don't leave for school and no friends and no cell phone, etc.

Your son sounds like he might have more of an oppositional-defiant disorder based upon the fact that he has lost everything a teenager deems important and he still won't take his meds? That's rather self-destructive and what girlfriend would want to be with a guy that wears the same clothes every day?

I don't know a lot about ADHD (although I do have friends and relatives with ADD), but I do know something about a kid that thrives on punishment. You can ground, remove privileges, and punish them but it just strengthens their resolve.

What I would do is set him down and talk. Explain that things are not working an something has got to change. Give him choices about what his life can be.
1)He can take his medication (add that you are willing to work with his doctor to find the right combination that will limit side effects) and he goes to school and does his best.
2)You can pull him out of school and home school (no audience, no GF) and he can spend his days at home with you (or who ever can take it on).
3) He can a job maybe flipping burgers, if he's lucky, drop out of school, and start paying rent. Because with his behavior, it's only a matter of time before he is kicked out. Then he still won't be seeing his GF.

You may have other choices in mind but explain what each choice would mean and be willing to follow through. Empty threats do not impress and will undermine what you say in the future.

Let me add, if you have not already spoken with s girlfriend so it. Also maybe see if they can be placed in separate classes. If none of this works, speak with her parents and her together.

My husband would have done great in a school where they are allowed to work at thier own speed. But back then there was no such school Today here in Austin, Once you are a Junior, you can go to the alternative learning center and work at your own pace. My husband would have adored this.

First question, so pardon me if I am a little leery..

Well my husband is 53 and has ADHD. He never took medication, because his parents were against it. BUT my husband knew how to behave.

It made my husband have a fear of trying these drugs. He struggles all of the time with information. , so I help him as much as possible to stay focused and organized. He says he is afraid , he will no longer be the same person. In reality, it will take a lot less effort and stress away from him. I even begged my husband to take the meds during te day and not worry about it at night or on weekends.

If HE makes the plan, he can handle it. If I make the plan, I have to remind him over and over. He will swear I never told him about the plan. Thank goodness we have a child. She has an excellent memory and for my sake, can reassure me I DID tell, him, he has just forgotten.

Your son sounds incredibly immature. Are you sure he does not have other issues? I would consider making a deal with him. IF he will try this medication for 4 weeks and just test t see how it goes, you will be willing to revisit it.

I would make sure he has a correct diagnosis. And I agree your son needs therapy and as a family you need therapy. You need to learn how to help your son get his behavior in order.

The deal with ADHD, is that punishment means nothing to them. They are so easily distracted, they do not even remember at that moment they are in trouble for something.

He needs to be taught how to at least have some coping skills.

You will need to learn how to guide him and how to develop some techniques that will work for him.

His brain is wired differently than yours and most of the other people in the world, so he needs someone that understands his condition.

I am sending you strength,

I think you should look into a 504 plan, which is a plan where they will provide him accommodations such as allowing him to take a break every 15 minutes or extra positive behavior reinforcement.

I would also speak to the girlfriend's parents and perhaps the parents of those other groups of kids.

See a naturopath and have him tested for heavy metal toxicity as well as food allergies/intolerances. Trust me; if he has either, detoxing/chelating for the heavy metals and changing diet will make a tremendous difference.

It has in my household.

I would highly suggest having him tested for food alergies. A friend of mine thought for years his son had ADHD. As it turned out, he was alergic to yeast. Removing yeast from his diet completely changed his symptons of ADHD. He is MUCH happier and successful now, all from just removing yeast from his diet. I know the testing took 2-3 days, but it was well worth it. Good luck and keep us posted.

If he has been diagnosed w/ ADHD he should have a 504 plan in place.

Call the guidance counselor about the class situation. Kids with ADHD do have a tendency to be a clown to be able to cope. It is not easy to live w/ ADHD, yet, he has to learn to act respectful.

Try a naturopath. You can also search the Feingold diet...which is taking the chemicals/additives, etc...out of his diet.

How is he at home? Does he help out, have meaningful conversations, act respectful? If he does not, a family counselor could help. It sounds like intervention needs to take place.

At 16, he should be washing his own clothes. This would be a great chore for him.

Keep us posted. This is not an easy situation for you.