11 Yrs Old Needs Overeating Advice

Updated on July 09, 2010
S.C. asks from New York, NY
11 answers

This last year my 6th grader entered a new (middle) school. He loves to cook, and has for close to 3 yrs. He also loves to eat. With the independent choices of lunch-out and cafeteria food all week, and the tough social challenges of a diverse public school, he has gained weight. Probably 10 pounds, over the 5 or 10 he had been a bit over before. So now he appears to be a chubby kid. In fairness to him, unlike his 2 siblings, he has no barometer for telling he is full and on top of that he eats to make himself feel better (which he told me he did at age 9).

So he is going away to sleep away camp for 4 weeks with his twin and some cousins and is super excited to go. I was just with him for 2 weeks straight on vacation and saw the amount of food he is eating - large meal portions (more than I eat, but he is now about my size), and then expects to snack.

He does really well with reward charts and specific goals. Is it a bad idea to include losing weight as a goal? Or just keep it to how many healthy eating choices did he make?

At camp, they tend to serve 1 or 2 things for a meal and offer plenty of dessert. What is a realistic expectation to place on a child during camp? Or over the course of the summer? I can tell he'd like to lose weight. We love him the way he is, and just want him to develop healthier eating habits now. Plus I think he's been teased about it this year in school. Another detail - his dad was a chubby kid and has much anxiety about his son gaining weight, which doesn't help as we try not to pressure him.

Any advice for helping an 11 yr old take control of their overeating, over the summer (and into fall) would be appreciated.

Many thanks,
SC

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from New York on

I'm not big on rewards charts for kids past preschool age. I don't think I'd focus so much on the actual poundage, but on healthy eating and exercise. Don't keep things in the house that you do not want him to have, such as soda, kool aid, ice cream. Portion his food for him, and let him know if he wants seconds, salad or vegetables only.
I wouldn't have any expectations for weight loss at sleepaway camp. There won't be anyone to oversee his eating, he will have to choose not to eat the desserts or the punch and to pick the skim rather than the whole milk.
When school starts again, I would send his lunch from home if the choices at school are not healthy foods.
Good luck!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

at 11 yrs old I was 60pds over weight. my mom was desperate to get me to loose weight so she put me on a diet. At 11 I was very capable of seeing how my food was different from the cookies and treats my siblings got. It really hurt my self esteem. i knew i was fat....but for my mom to feel that way! I decided to rebel against it and by the time I was a freshman in high school I was 290pds (I'm 5ft2). Then my grandmother suggested I diet. even offered to pay me to do so (my mom also tried to brib me) This crushed me too and I developed disordered eating, within a couple years I devolped full blown bulimia which I know have therapy and doctors appointment twice a week to deal with. DONT reward him or make it about weight loss, and DONT single him out. The best way to handle this is to make the whole family eat healthy. You said he likes to cook. Get a cookbook with healthy recipes and make them together. Make healthy eating fun for him and you will make it a habit for life. If he (or any of his siblings) ask for something else or and unhealthy snack say "no this is what we are ALL eating right now." just please dont single him out.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from New York on

It takes 31 days of consistency to form a new habit.

Oddly enough, I have never seen an overweight vegetarian.

If his food consumption was more fruit and vegetables, he would definitely start the process of shedding the pounds.

Get him cookbooks that teach lean cooking. In our home we have been known for substituting eggplant, beans, and fish for chicken and beef. It's great stumbling accross different things to eat. We love the summer because the food just seems to taste fresher.

I never restrict how much watermelon, honey dew melon, or cantelope the kids can eat. These friuts help with hydration and they are filling and healthy.

You should also teach him that exercise will also help him feel better. A brisk walk can do more that a muffin in getting your brain to release pleasurable hormones.

Because your 11 year old is growing it may be hard to get him to truly take control of the over eating but is he is over eating things that burn off quickly but are filling, he can quickly begin to shed the pounds.

I hope this helps.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Rochester on

Hi S. , how great that at 11 your son is already cooking. That's a great life skill. I would keep the focus on making healthier choices and being active as opposed to losing weight. Does he swim, play sports? He should only watch two hours of TV (this includes video games and computers). Also if you do active things as a family, bike rides, long walks after dinner, these are all ways to burn calories in a fun way. Hopefully while at camp he will be super active and will lose weight naturally.

If he wants to lose weight he should cut out sugary drinks. We have a wellness campaign in Rochester for Kids Called 5-2-1-0, Be a Healthy Hero:
5 Servings of Fruits and Veggies
2 hours of TV (no more than that)
1 hour of physical activity
0 sugary drinks

These are ways that he can lose weight and be a healthy happy kid.

Good Luck,

Glow

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

I liked S.'s response. Healthy eating should be a lifestyle that your whole family would do well to follow. If your son is eating a lot of processed foods then that maybe why he is over eating. Processed carbs and all of the salt and sugar that they add to packaged foods is highly addictive and low in nutrients. Even if he is eating "fortified foods," if he is not getting enough nutrients from food as they naturally occur, then your son maybe eating a lot more in terms of volume because his body is naturally seeking out those nutrients it needs to function properly. I hope this makes sense. If you can just weed out all the packaged stuff from your family's life (I know, it is a very hard lifestyle change to make but it is doable), and eat a lot more foods in their natural state, then I'm pretty sure that you will see a change in your son's eating habits. Be patient though; it takes time to learn new habits and to retrain your taste buds.

Good luck to you and your son.

C.M.

answers from New York on

Hi Sara,

Four words: PORTION CONTROL. NO SODA. ;)

"Grams"
from the Pocono Mts. of PA

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from New York on

I think you've gotten good advice so far. I have read, and experienced myself, that a big part of healthy eating/weight maintenance is to use whole grains: brown rice, whole wheat or oat bread, brown rice or kamut pasta (quite good, really!). Weight Watchers apparently lets you have only half as much of carbs if they're processed as opposed to whole grain. It's good for you ALL on so many levels!
And of course, watch the snacks. Cut out chips and processed sugar snacks like cookies. You are with these facing a host of other issues besides overweight such as diabetes and hypertension, problems that last a lifetime. Good habits are key, and when you're young is the time to instill them!
As for camp, I would not try to change anything while you're not around. I think it would be counter-productive.
Best of luck!
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I think the reward chart for healthy eating is a great idea. Just be sure you do not relate it to being overweight. Actually applying it to everyone in the house could make it more fair and maybe more successful. One of my girls tends to overeat. She told me she had oatmeal and a sandwich for breakfast today. 2 meals in one sitting. She has gained some weight in th epast few months. I am hoping to start getting them outside more as soon as our heatwave ends. More exercise means less chance to overeat. Make sure you give good guidleines--maybe put the pyramid up near the chart.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Good healthy habits as a family are good way to address a tender subject. Do any of your extended family have health issues? This was on CNN a few days ago and might facilitate some conversation with your son.

http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/07/02/at-age-10-b...

This young man seems to be looking for balance and realizing that additives are not real food, more room for your son the chef!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from New York on

I'd like to build on what another person posted - play on the "chef" aspect. Help him buy and prepare a lot of healthy food. This is especially easy and exciting in the summer, when lots of fresh fruits, vegs and herbs are easily available. This will have the additional benefits of feeding your entire family better food (and maybe take the burden off of you!)

If you want to address the weight issue at all, I would discuss the "eating to make himself feel better" aspect, and figuring out better ways to handle his emotions.

Other than that, just make sure he's physically active. If he's going to summer camp he should be getting lots of exercise. Just make sure he keeps it up when he gets home.

All these suggestions will help his weight, provide other lasting benefits, and focus on the important lifestyle and emotional aspects, rather than the relatively unimportant number on a scale. After all, he's going to gain weight no matter what because he's growing!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

Obesity in adolescents is at an all time high. School dietitians are trying to nip it in the butt by giving portions my 4 year old would still be hungry after eating. Once the child gets home from school, they raid the fridge because they lack the structured environment like they have in school.

Since your son likes to cook, get him a cookbook that has lower portions but includes foods that fill you up. Seeking a dietitian might be a good idea too.

You say he eats to make himself feel better. Try encouraging him to redirect comfort food to an activity instead. When you see he's feeling down and heading for the fridge, intercept him and go for a ride, put a puzzle together...something to get his thoughts on other things. His eating habits won't change until his behavior changes.

Good luck

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions