Younger Twin Boys Picking on 5 Year Old Sister!

I have seen too much Super Nanny not to respond.

Do the boys sleep in their cribs? If so, I would suggest not using them as time out spots.

Find a corner, rug scrap, or some place you can keep an eye on them. You tell them they are going to the "naughty spot" (Super Nanny's words) and tell them why. If they get up, you put them back. I have seen this take quite some time (like hours) on Super Nanny so be ready for the long hall the first few times. Once they have sat there for their allotted time (one minutes per year of age), you remind them why they went there, and insist on an appology. If they don't give it, the time starts again. They should also appologize to sister if that is why they are there.

This is the way Jo handles it. I have seen it work time and time again to get the kids to start acting right. Also, make certain your hubby is on board and punishing them the same way. Work on it together.

Give it a try and let us know how it goes please.

Hi A.,

It's good that your daughter is getting ready to start school. This will give you a chance to focus on your boys behavior :o) Even though your daughter will be out of the house, the behaviors will probably continue because IT'S NORMAL for their age :O)

With that said, you need to "firm it up". And most importantly, be consistent. Every single time, even if they've just finished their 5th timeout, you need to be consist. It will take about 500 times of the exact same behavior with your responses before your 2yr old boys catch on :O) It's just the age, and it will probably continue for another year, so you need to get your "handle" on it now.

It will all work out, and you can do it alone. Just be consistent.

Perhaps once your daughter comes home after school, you begin a new routine for her to be able to do homework without her brothers bothering her. Maybe you can find a safe place for them to "play" while you're supporting your daughter. Just a pre-thought :o)

~N. :o)

Don't overreact to it -- it's a phase.

I can't tell you what is best for your family. However, I can say that whatever mode of discipline you wish to use, be consistent every time. As another poster said, it may take some time for them to 'get it', but more so, it takes your will and determination over theirs. It may mean 3 days of no housework being done because you are constantly doing this, however, it will pay off as they learn the consequence of their action. Personally, I do believe in a swat on the hiney, but I cannot recommend that approach to everyone, every child is different. I try to be consistent, but I'm not perfect either. I have twins as well and they do gang up, people who have not been through this cannot understand what you are going through, so be patient with others as well.

Take care,
D.

Hi A.,
First of all-- you have my sympathy-- three kids under six is quite a handful! Have you read 'Siblings Without Rivalry'? I found it very good and read it twice before I even had my second child! Also '1-2-3 Magic' was the best book I ever read for disciplining kids. As far as spanking goes, everyone must make her own choice, but I wouldn't go that route-- if you're trying to teach your boys not to be rough and hurt their sister, it hardly makes sense for you to be rough with them. Good luck! Oh, and one other thought-- do your boys get much chance to run around? I know mine are much wose whenever we fail to go the park, for a bike ride, whatever. All that energy!

My grandmother was a great supporter of the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated... And this was her remedy: As a mom, tell the boys that if they bite, they must want to be bitten. Then when they bite, bite them back! It has to be hard enough to hurt in order to get the message across, but not to break the skin, bruise etc - it really doesn't take much. The usual reaction is a shocked look, and in my experience it only takes once. They realize that this hurts the other person (they may not get that, they just know that sister screams, and it is great!) and that it can happen to them! They may "test" you - that is wait until you are watching, then start to bite with their little eyes fixed on your face - all you need to do is bare your teeth and shake your head, and bite them a second time if they follow through, but I've never actually had to do the second bite. At two, language is not developed enough for reason, but once they get the idea that "what they dish out can come back at them" that idea can be expanded using reason and without actual action as they get older. Hopefully you will only have to do this to one of the boys, since the other may learn from what he sees.

Get ready for a long struggle, little boys love to make older sisters scream. I'm not sure why, but they spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to achieve this result. You might think about having your daughter take one of the martial arts classes for children, these tend to focus on self control, self-defense, escaping, and disarming your attacker. This would put her in more control and provide her with means to "mauver" without hurting her brothers in the future - especially if they start to "double-team" her, that is both of them picking on her at once. Hope this helps.

Ahhh...siblings! Are you sure you are consistently putting them in time out the moment they start in on their sister? If you can grab one while he is in the act of hitting or scratching, and holler "No! You cannot hit your sister!" while you put the culprit in his room, you should be making some headway. Don't leave him in his room too long, but make sure you are not talking to him while he's in his room, or otherwise giving him any attention or interaction. And whenever one of them plays nicely with his sister, make sure you praise him for it so all of them can hear.