Would You Get a Handicap Parking Pass If...

Updated on November 09, 2011
V.T. asks from McKinney, TX
46 answers

So my husband thinks I'm being ridiculous, but I think I maybe justified. I'm 5 months pregnant with twins and I'm having a horrible time with my sciatic nerve. As I sit here the pain is intense, tylenol does nothing for the pain. It's not all the time, but when it flares up, it can be unbearable. I try not go out when it's a problem, but I have to get my daughter to and from school. At school I have to walk a good distance from the car to the classroom, that can easily be cut down by parking in the 10 handicap spaces that are available. I think I should get one for at least school, but my husband says no. What would you do? I have no intentions of using it all the time, and if I'm not having a flare up, I won't use it, but would you ask your doctor for a pass? This morning I was almost in tears by the time I got back to my car.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the advice. Overwhelmingly you are all in support. To defend my husband for a minute, he doesn't know the full extent of the pain. My husband is traveling a lot and we don't get much time together, so I don't like to spend it complaining, especially when he can't help me. As for school, my daughter is 2 1/2, I have to take her to her door and pick her up. The school is a church with at least 10-12 handicap spaces that are never full and I'd be using it for 5 minutes or so in the morning and afternoon. When my husband is in town, he will take my daughter to school, but I still have to pick her up. And when the twins are born, my parents will be coming in from Maryland to help so they can get my daughter to and from school. I don't like to drive when in pain, so I don't go out unless it's school. But with no family around and a husband who is travels all the time, it's hard to stay inside all the time. Things need to get done. I usually am okay taking advantage of the expectant mom spaces at most stores. I will definitely talk to my doctor tomorrow about the pass and the chiropractor. For what it's worth, I've had problems with my sciatic nerve for over 17 years, but this pregnancy put it in hyperdrive.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Talk to my doctor about a temporary pass? Absolutely.

Why wouldn't you? That's what tags are for... to help people.

6 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would ask for a temporary one, yes.
My favorite stores are the ones that have "expecting and new mom" spaces near the front. Goodness knows there are all sorts of various issues that come and go with pregnancy that can hit out of nowhere. It was nice. I didn't even use those on the days I felt okay not to. But some days, well, SOME days they made ALL the difference.

3 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Oh my Lord--get the pass! You'll only need a temporary O. for about 4 more months. No need to suffer.

1 mom found this helpful

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

If you are in that much pain, I do not think you should be driving. Getting in and out of a car is just too much strain. I have back problems and when I attended "Back school" there were certain things I was encouraged to avoid until my back was rested and healed..

One was driving.. Then cleaning the bath tub and shower, loading and unloading the dishwasher. Some of this I could do if I sat in a chair.. But in reality, trying to avoid them was highly encouraged.

I think you need to consider asking for help from other parents and having them take and pick up your children and go to the store with you.. Or allow you to ride along.. while they drive..

7 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Yes, get one! I have suffered through incapacitating sciatic nerve pain with each of my pregnancies, but it never even occurred to me that I could get a handicap tag! You are brilliant :)

6 moms found this helpful

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

HELL YES. GET THE PASS!

Those babies are your responsibility and you need to do whatever will help them. Who CARES what your husband says? You're the one growing them, not him.

This would be a non issue at my house.

5 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

This is why i love "expecting mother" spaces......yes you should get one, and a chiropractor while your at it!

5 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Hon, get a temporary pass. I can't imagine the pain you are in but pain causes stress (emotional and physical) and that's not good for either you or baby. You ARE justified!
I am so sorry you are hurting!

5 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

absolutely. that's what TEMPORARY tags are for. I got one when I had knee surgery each time. HUGE help! I think they're $5 each as long as your doctor does all the appropriate paperwork.

your husband has no idea how much pain you're in... you do. take care of yourself!

4 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, if you are in that much pain please do get one. That is what they are for. It's not your husband's decision anyway, it is your doctors and the state's decision. If they agree you need one, you should have one! Hang in there mama.

4 moms found this helpful

ღ..

answers from Detroit on

Aww, you need one! Poor Mama. :(

3 moms found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

You poor thing! If you don't relieve some of this now, I am afraid you won't be doing anything if put on bed rest. Run..ok..walk slowly..and get a temporary pass. Don't worry about what your hubby is saying if he is not willing to help you out with the school drop off/pick up. You need to take care of yourself and those precious babies growing inside of you...along with having energy and the ability to walk once your daughter is home from school. And that means a mommy that is happy and healthy. Sooo, go and do it. Don't complain to your hubby or make a big deal about doing it..just go and do it. If he gives you anymore guff then simply say very kindly, "So are you going to do the pick up/drop off from now on?" You are only getting bigger so this is going to be a growing problem with sciatic flare ups. Get the pass now to ease the pressure as the days progress.

Good luck and best wishes!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

You could ask, but I doubt the doctor will give you one for being pregnant. What you are talking about is normal pain, especially with twins, and if every pregnant woman decided she wanted to park in handicap then were are the truly disabled people to park? So in short, I have to say I agree with your husband on this one.

3 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Why do you have to pick your daughter up at her classroom? How about
a school bus? Why can't your daughter walk out to the car? I personally
would not get one. By the time you get the pass, the babies will be born.
You just cannot ask and receive. There is paperwork!

3 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

What does your husband have to do with it, V.? He's not the boss of you or your sciatic nerve, LOL! Go ask the doctor! He or she will understand. The only thing I worry about is that it might take a while for your pass to come :(

Have you tried a chiropractor who has a lot of experience with pregnancies? That might make a difference. I went to mine after my baby was born, and I was still hurting. I had to stand one leg up on a box to wash dishes, it was so bad. Two times going to him put me to right (he lifted my leg up while I was laying down and pulled it, and my sciata went away after the second visit.)

You go girl, and ignore your NOT PREGNANT husband!

Dawn

3 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I asked this question a while back and got some not so nice responses. Granted I wasn't pregnant with twins, or picking up child at school, but glad to see you got some positive feedback. I had terrible sciatic pain for both of my pregnancies. I was fortunate to find a female chiropractor who specializes in women and pregnancy. See if you can find one that specializes in the Webster technique. I have seen three chiropractors previous to her and she is the first one to completely rid me of sciatic pain. I'm on the fence about the parking sticker bc I didn't want to take a spot from a disabled person, but I also know the excruciating pain you are in. Maybe the teacher or a parent would walk your daughter out to you? Sometimes all it takes is just asking. You are having twins, you will have to ask for a lot of help in the future I'm sure. Congrsts and blessings to you and your babies.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

It's a good question, and your doctor may have a helpful opinion about it. I've wondered the same myself; I have severe nerve pain in my feet and an inflammatory condition that makes walking difficult, some days more than others. So far, I keep walking because I figure I really need the exercise. But one of these days, I may have to ask for my own tag.

I hope you'll give us a follow up and let us know if you get the pass.

2 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Temporary passes are available, and I think in your case justified, though I think it will take a long time to get one. But, why do you have to walk to the classroom? I would not be doing that, NO way, and my son is in kindergarten. He can come to the front of the school along with all the other children who are escorted by the teachers or ride the bus if you are within range for it.

When your husband is pregnant with twins and sciatic nerve pain, THEN he can tell you your pain is not justified.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Tell your husband to carry two babies and continue to walk around with nerve pain! Go get the pass and use as you mention. You aren't doing anything wrong.

And don't forget to tell him not to gain too much wait!

2 moms found this helpful

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

If your husband doesn't want you to have that, he should take your daughter to school. Who will take her when the twins are born?
I got one when I was in grad school, because it was about a quarter mile from the parking lot to my classes. It was very hot here and I would get out of breath. Later I found out I was actually in heart failure during the pregnancy due to a hole in my heart!

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Absolutely. I know people who have had long walks from the parking lot and were given the passes. They only used them when necessary like you are talking about. Have your husband walk around in the pain you are in and see if he changes his mind :).

2 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from San Antonio on

You can get a temporay one, the red one, if your doctor agrees.
I would not personally, but only you know how much you hurt.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

dont know if it is different in TX but in CA we can get temporaries. The doc has to decide if you need one. So it doesn't hurt to ask. my mom had knee surgery on both knees and had two 6 month temporaries while she recovered. now she does not need it so she does not have it.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Why not just talk to the school? See if they will allow you to park closer.
If not can a friend get your daughter for the next couple months when you are feeling especially rotten?

2 moms found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I wouldn't get one, due to pregnancy.

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Definitely! You are not getting a temporary pass for pregnancy but for sciatic pain, and it is awful!! I have dealt with it this pregnancy and life with little ones that you are the primary caregiver for does not stop just because your sciatic nerve is causing you agony :( I know I have had a much harder time with housework etc due to this and it drives me nuts!!!! You need to get every measure of help you can bc you need all your strength reserves for taking care of your little girl. Hang in there mama and congrats!!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

yes! That is an awful pain :-(

2 moms found this helpful
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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

You should ask your doctor for a temporary placard.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I think that you definitely have a valid medical reason. I would get one--you still have a ways to go with your pregnancy. So, its better to make it easier on yourself if you can. :) Hope you get one soon and feel better!

M

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I wouldn't bother trying to literally get a handicap pass - at least in my state it's an administrative nightmare to do and in your case may well be denied - but I would simply explain the situation to the school personnel and ask if you may park closer to the school during those next few months.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I have had one twice, once for a severe kiddney infection that caused me to be hospitalized and then on resticted activity and the second was after knee surgery. It does not take months to get one as another poster suggested at least not here in Texas. I got a RX and the paperwork from my doctors and went to my local tax office where you register your vehicle and got it the same day. Mine were good for 6 months. Talk to your physician and see what he says. Also ask him about seeing a chiroprator for the siatic, I see mine about every 3 weeks and it is a life saver.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

When I was pregnant, I worked for a company that had large parking lots. They offered temporary "disabled" parking passes to anyone who was pregnant and wanted one. I put it off until my last two weeks, then I was very glad to accept one. I would go ahead and get a pass if it is possible. Your state website does not indicate that pregnancy is considered a temp disability http://www.txdmv.gov/vehicles/drivers/disabled.htm

I also strongly second the suggestion of seeing a chiropractor if you aren't already. I saw one all through my pregnancy and he did wonders!!

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Skip the tag get a chiropractor. That way you have no pain, much better than a choice space. I only say this because it doesn't sound like it is the distance walked that is causing you trouble, you sound like you are in a mess of pain.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I understand where you are coming from. It is me that is stopping myself though. I have terrible kidney pain. (have an autoimmune disease) I want to get one for the days that i am in intense pain. (sometimes so intense that i (TMI) am in the bathroom sick...both ends!) but.... i am afraid. I dont know why. I think i fear that there is someone worse and i am taking their spot, or that someone will think i am not deserving. I dont know what it is. I am sorry if i am not much help. Just thought i would tell you my story.

If the tylenol is not helping. Hot baths really work. I took hot baths with all four pregnancies. (If you feel dizzy or funny i would get out) Have you tried the heating pads that stick? You can put them on your back while you are driving. I know back pain is terrible. I hope you can find some relief so that you can enjoy this pregnancy :)

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

considering I am currently feeling your pain (daily and yes I often want to just curl up and cry) I think it's a GREAT idea and am completely going to do it as well. Like you I can't always sit home just because it hurts.

1 mom found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I had sciatica pain for 6 straight months with no relief at all. I finally was able to pray my way out of that and a lot of other pains. As a PREVIOUS major pain sufferer...back, knees, hips, ankle, and the BUTT/leg/sciantica ... I see nothing wrong with it. I never did. But what's with your husband? He's not being very concerned for you.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Ask your doctor. It will make you a high risk pregnancy but I kinda bet you are one already with twins. Good luck!

S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

i had the EXACT same situation as you!
pregnant with sciatica, hurt like crazy, tylenol did nothing, i even collapsed a few times!
i got the parking pass with my third pregnancy, it was HEAVEN SENT.
if you feel this will make your life easier then do it.
when youre pregnant you get to do things like this and nobody should question it. pregnancy is hard and we need to do anything we can to make it easier on us.

N.C.

answers from Rockford on

Definitely! I had one when I broke my leg (never had a cast because they did surgery) and it does help to take that extra walking distance down to a minimal. And that sciatic pain is awful!!! I had it w/ my 2nd pregnancy and ended up having to be induced 10 days early because I was so uncomfortable! I can't imagine what you must feel, w/ 2 babies sitting on it! Good luck and take care of YOU right now!

G.T.

answers from Redding on

Call the dmv and ask them about temporary passes and see what they cost and how it works.
I know when my sciatica is bad, I wouldnt even get in the car anyway, but that's just me.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I think you should. I probably wouldn't even have thought of that as an option so way to problem solve! ;) If you are in that much pain then do it, you can use it for the grocery store and Target too if necessary. I don't think that you are taking advantage of any system when you are legitimately injured and in pain. It's only temporary anyway.

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Where I live, it's not that simple to get a handicap sticker. "Technically" they won't consider that a handicap.. I hope you feel better!

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

I had one when I was pregnant and on bedrest. I probably hardly used it because I really stayed in bed most of the time. But if I actually had to go somewhere and get out of my car and walk across the parking lot, it would have been impossible and i would have to drive back home and forget the errand. So it makes sense for you to get one. Why should you be a martyr and suffer... being pregnant is hard enough without adding to your stress and pain.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Don't listen to a man on this one!!! Get one if you can. Perhaps if the handicapped spaces were always full and people in wheelchairs weren't able to park it'd be a tougher call but it doesn't sound like that's the case at all. At our school, I always see a family parked in the handicapped space at dropoff. I'm assuming the mother has the sticker bc the father is fine and he and the kids get out just fine while the mother stays in the car. So given she's not getting out anyway, do THEY really need to park in a handicapped spot?.. I don't care as I think it'd go empty anyway but you're in pain and actually getting out of the car so go for it. What's the big harm?

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You can't get a disability pass for the public legal handicapped parking spaces simply by getting a note from your doctor. Pregnancy is not considered a disability, and the aches and pains that come along with it are only temporary (for the most part). If you are working and need closer parking spaces for your job you could get a doctor's note for a temporary parking pass that would likely need to be renewed every month (been there, done that through two pregnancies with different companies) but otherwise you have to apply with the state for disability and for those parking places.

It sucks, yes, but that's just how it is.

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M.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I know I am late to reply, but I had to get a pass (temporary) when I was pregnant -- if you need it, you need it (I needed it for a different condition) , and your doctor can sign the form! It made a world of difference to me during my pregnancy and for 2 months after! You should not be suffering needlessly!!

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