Would a 5Yr Old Be Able to Adjust to Another Baby

My brother was 5 when I was born. Although we are not close, it's not an age thing, it's a personality thing. We just have such different personalities that we wouldn't be close even if we were only a year apart. From the stories my parents tell me though, he was very excited about having a baby sister and was great about everything. I'm sure sharing was not always something he wanted to do, but when you're 5 years apart you don't have to share a lot, the toys are so different. I think if you make the effort to include her in your excitement about a baby and how much of a help she can be, she will be excited about it.

Hi K., I would say your little girl will grow to love the new baby, there may be an adjustment period at first, but that is to be expected with any child.
I have an 8 yr old, a 2 yr old, and a 3 month old. When we were trying for our 2nd child my daughter was 4. She was very excited about having a new baby, unfortunatly I miscarried that precious baby. She still asks about the baby that died sometimes. When we got pregnant again a year later she was very happy. She really loves her little sister. Then God blessed us with a surprise, baby #3. She adores him, too. Now, when I had him my 2 yr old was only 19 months. She had a really had time adjusting to the new baby. Things are getting better now.
I wish you the best, and good luck! I say go for it!
P.S.- I just wanted to add one more thing... We signed up for the sibling class at our hospital so she could learn how to help take care of the baby. She loved this. They also gave her a certificate once she completed the class, this made her feel really special.

It sounds like it is more about your apprehensions than your daughter being ready for a sibling.

Babies always adjust to siblings. My middle son is 10 and my youngest 4. It wasn't an issue and if it was I don't remember.
I love that about motherhood: how easy we forget. ha! ha!

Fear is always a factor, but love can cast all fear away.

i have a 10 and 4 yr old which means they are about the same age difference your kids would be. he loved the idea of having a baby brother. did he always love sharing me? no, but he understood that brother took naps and slept and eventually went to school, not to mention everyone else loved to hold the new baby. so no he didn't get ignored at all. he got presents when the baby came. he got to help pick stuff out and decorate. to this day, they brag about each other and both schools know about the other sibling much more than usual. they may bicker sometimes, but if you really want to punish them, seperate them. they can't stand it. LOL she'll be fine, i promise!

K., a 5 year old can very much adjust to another baby. My kids are almost 6 years apart. My older son adjusted really well. We included him in on a lot of things with the baby. Like going to sonogram appts., letting him choose which outfit we should get for the baby., He was at the hospital the whole time I was in labor and in the room til I was ready to push. Then after I had the baby and I was all cleaned up, He was the first to come back to see the baby. My mom kept everyone else from coming back and brought him back. She went back to the waiting room to give my husband, Trent, and me some time with the new baby. We let Trent know that because he was the big brother then he got to come in to see the baby before anyone else. He has been such a big helper to me with his brother. Tryston is now 2 and Trent is 8. Trent takes his brother in their room and plays with him and keeps him occupied while I am cooking dinner or cleaning a room. He also buckles him in his carseat when we get in the vehicle. He does a lot of small things to help out with his little brother. He has even changed his diaper before, because he wanted to. I didn't want to wait that long to have my second child but it has been a little easier, because the older one can do things to help with the younger one. I hope this helps settle your doubt a little. As far as your complications go, I don't know what kind of complications you had. Some people have complications with the fist but not the second. Every pregnancy is different. I think you are having doubts because you are scared. You are scared that the older one will be jealous. I don't think that she will as long as you get her involved. Have you asked her if she would like a little brother or sister? What she thought about you having another baby? I hope this helps! Good Luck!! Let us know what you decide.

I was 6 when my brother was born. Granted...I did not have the most nuturing parents and I resented my brother. We are now 46 and 40 and we have never had a relationship other than "civil". I know my case is different from many of the moms on here because for the most part, the moms on here seem to have a deep concern and love for their children.

Hubby and I will be married 20 yrs this year. We have a 13 yr old only child daughter (by choice). I do not regret my decision to not have another child. I am so proud of my daughter and our family has a very deep bond.

We made adjustments to make sure she is fully rounded socially. She has the entire upstairs of our house. Her friends love to come here, we have at least 1 extra here every weekend. We have no problem with that because we are aware that we have an only child, plenty of room and most of her friends have siblings. My daughter loves the siblings of her friends and is a great babysitter.

When we have family vacations, etc, she brings along her best friend. I have girls at my home so often, some of them are like daughters to me. We open our home to her friends.

TF

My son will be four and 1/2 when my new baby is born. We included him in two sonograms and even name picking. He seems excited to have a baby around, but I do worry a little about how it's really going to be. I'm thinking it'll probably all be fine and that he'll even feel a sense of pride in the fact that he's a big brother and that it's HIS baby sister.

I know he will not like the crying, as it stresses him out when kids and babies are doing that ... but I'm sure he'll get used to it. I think the gap will be nice. I feel my kids won't ever really have a need to "compete" with each other since they will be in very different stages in their lives. I know that sometimes the baby's needs will come first, but hopefully I can stay just as attentive and loving to my son. I really have no idea what this will be like, but I'm hopeful it'll all work out.

Search your feelings and remember that kids adjust better than we give them credit for. They are very adaptable. I remember when I was so scared to take away my son's binky at 15 months, but it turned out to be much easier than I thought it would be.

Good luck with your decisions. It's hard thinking about starting over again with a new baby, but with me ...I knew I wanted at least one more child and it was starting to feel like - It's now or never. TAKE CARE!

OH - and I have bad pregnancies where I get very sick for the whole first half. It was so nice that my son was old enough to play by himself and even make his own eggo waffles while I was too sick to even stand. I was so happy I didn't have to change diapers and things like that. He was such a good boy to play cards and things with me while letting me lie down and get the rest I needed. I think an age difference is good for some families!

I have a 4 year old and a 17 month old and I am pregnant with #3. We planned the first two and I, much like you, was EXTREMELY apprehensive. I will be quite honest and say that there definitely was an adjustment period for my oldest...he was used to being the center of attention, but he LOVES his brother. It is so sweet to see them play together and EVERY morning his little brother runs to him to give him a GIANT hug and kiss screaming "bubba" (not my choice of names, but he still can't say brother or Rourke yet!) They adore one another! And think of it this way...she will be going to school soon and really it would be a much easier transition because she will be at school all day! I also had a HORRIBLE first pregnancy. My son was threatened miscarriage and was only given a 33% chance of carrying him to term. I was scared to death, but my middle son's pregnancy was quite easy and this pregnancy has been fine other than some morning sickness early on. I think if you do decide not to have more that there is nothing wrong with having an only child either. Just figure out what works for you and your family. Good luck!

My daughter was 5 when I had my son. I think that's a hard age difference at first, but as they get older, like now for me where she's 8 and he's 3, things get better 'cause they can play together more and communicate with each other.

My daughter was resentful of the extra time we had to spend with the baby and whenever we would say things like "Oh, isn't he cute", she would say "What about me?" like we didn't think she was cute anymore. Of course we always reassured her, but I think in the back of her mind, she always thought she'd been "replaced". That was when he was younger though.

I wouldn't say you shouldn't have another child, I would just say you have to be extra careful about the difference in how you treat both children. You have to give as much attention to your 5 year old as you can and reassure them they have not been replaced with this cute little bundle of joy. Also, you have to do a lot of explaining about why the baby gets to play with the toy first or gets to throw his food on the floor and stuff like that. In other words, a 1 year old doesn't know how to share, but a 6 year old does so the 1 year old (or 2 year old or 3 year old) might throw a fit to play with a toy that the 6, 7 or 8 year old is playing with so you either have to let the younger one have the toy first or put the toy up all together. That can create some hard feelings too.

At this point now though, my daughter is very loving to my son and she is always saying how cute he is when he does something or says something funny. She's protective of him too and watches out for him when they are at the sitters and things like that. She's a wonderful big sister and I think she loves her brother very much. Time will only tell if those feelings will last.

Good luck in whatever you decide. :-)

My brother was a momma's boy when I was born. He was 4 yrs and 9 months. He loved me to death, he wanted a sister. Mom said he always wanted to be where I was, he helped them take care of me. He was/is an awesome brother and we're best of friends. I think your daughter can handle it, she's a big girl. I think you're just scared, it's natural. I think you will all be just fine whatever you decide. :)

K.,

I have made several posts concerning this exact topic. I have a four year old son who is a great kid, but certainly the center of the universe. My husband and I have been trying to decide for the past year if we want another one or not. I will say part of my worry is how will he adjust, and another part is apprehension over another pregnancy. My first was pretty easy, but I did develop hypothyroidism after, which will make this one a little bit more complicated. After months of soul searching, we have finally gotten off birth control, and will "probably" start trying as soon as I get the go ahead from my thyroid doctor (maybe July). I will tell you the reason I finally decided to go for it is that my son is the only child and only grandchild on both sides, so he really has no one else to play with or talk to. Also, my brother and I are five years apart, and we are very close. We have recently had to start making some decisions about our parents, and I want my son to be able to have someone that will understand and support him when my husband and I are old and gray, assuming they get along! My dad is an only child, and when my grandma was sick he had a really hard time dealing with all the demands alone. I do remember when my brother was born being worried that my Mom would love him more, but I was old enough to be reasoned with and in school, so I adjusted pretty well. I was also a very high-maintenance mama's girl, and having a brother really helped my "me" attitude (according to my mom at least). Please feel free to e-mail me if you decide to start trying. I would love to have a friend to talk to during pregnancy. I am having a hard time with this as well.