Worried About My Little One

We are catholic and mexican and this a very comforting traditon for us... put a picture of your husband on shelf and put a statue or figurine of an angel or Jesus or something and tell your little little one that every night and everytime she misses her daddy she can come over and pray to Jesus (or the angel)to please take care of daddy (because he is such a brave soldier) and let him know that you miss him. And everytime she prays for her daddy, Jesus will bless him and make her feel better. ---I hope this works for you. I do this with my kids when my husband is away on business. I know a business trip does not even compare with deployment. Good luck.

Help her make a little book of photos of daddy and her, or a poster, and place that by her bed to be looked at only at bedtime. Next time Daddy calls, have him tell her that he wants her to go to sleep at bedtime and to be brave for him. Maybe give her a pillow with one of daddy's t-shirts slipped over it (sprayed with his cologne?) to hold when she's missing him. Acknowledge her feelings but don't let her continue to cause so much drama. She's little, she'll do better soon. Good luck, and God bless your family. Thank you for your sacrifices.

I was a child of divorce, and I never wanted to go back home from visiting mom, so when I was little, my mom told me and my sis,,, that when you miss me at night time, talk to the moon and I can hear you.... No matter where you are, I will hear you.......

Next time you talk to hubby,, tell him to tell her ( over the phone ) when you miss me you can talk to me threw the moon... I may not talk back, but Daddy hear's you. So when night time comes, and she starts to cry, reminde her to tell the moon..... You can make this a night time thing... She can tell the moon how her day was, and that she misses daddy... You can tell her that if she feels like she needs to talk during the night, she can tell the moon.... PS.... Have her Draw and color a picture of the moon that she can use for middle of the night or bad weather "calls"......

Let me know if this helps...

OH,, PSS..... If you hear her talking to herself at night, dont forget.. She is not nuts!!!! she is talking to Daddy via the moon....

Not to say your sweet daughter isn't really missing her daddy...however at this age of three, my son is a drama king and if there is anyway what-so-ever of getting bedtime delayed he will use it. It maybe that "missing daddy" is her trigger phrase that touches your heart strings and is allowing her to delay bedtime and get more one on one time with you. You may have to go a bit hardcore and comfort her, then tell her that she can lay in bed and cry while praying/sending good thoughts/thinking about fun times with daddy/etc etc and let her go on to sleep. Because if it is only at bedtime that she has these "meltdowns" missing daddy and not other times as well...then it might be a bit of drama to delay bedtime and not completely about him being gone. Hope this helps, take it or leave it...but please do tell us what works to help her!!

Oh my Gosh, You are one STRONG woman. I commend you.

When your child cries like that...IMMEDIATELY start praying to God in a soft voice to your baby and ask God to put his soveriegn calm over your child. If you don't pray then I will place you on my prayer list and pray for you and your child.

Just say it simple and soft like this: "Lord, I ask you to calm my baby this moment. Keep my baby in peace and tranquility everyday. Thank you, Lord.

Do it everyday! :)

This is a tuff one. You may need to try different evening methods until one works. Maybe right before bed you can have her dictate a letter or email to her daddy. Another idea, maybe you can have her daddy write a good night email to her that you read before bedtime every night. Also, make sure you are sending positive energy to her. I know this is very difficult but make sure she isn't feeding off of your insecurities about the situation. Good luck and remember this will pass. PS. I hope you have outside help. having an autistic child is very time consuming. There are so many new methods out there now that are helping these children comunicate.

Ok I am new to this group and this is the first response or advice I have given, so bare with me..LOL. It just broke my heart reading this, so I felt compaled to respond. Your daughter is obviously going through a hard time. Her entire routine and family dynamic has changed and all children handle these types of changes differntly. I would guess that she is having a harder time than your son because she is a girl... and we are soo obviously different and much more emotional creatures. I would for sure be patient with her, but I would be cautious about starting any new temporary fix bad habits, like sleeping with Mom. Just bc that will be a whole new battle. The only thing I can think that I would do is try something new for your bedtime rountine... something to make it different and maybe distract her from her thoughts of missing daddy. I am not sure of you situation or what your typical night routine is with you and your husband, but I would try to think of something to do in place of daddy...like maybe think of something special for just you and her at bedtime. I wish I could make a suggestion of what that should be, but I am drawing a blank. I just think that if you change it up a little, and have something for her to be excited about at bed time, then it might distract her from what she is sad about. What about putting stars on her ceiling, maybe surprise her with that. Or the glade night light... maybe just throwing something in a little diff, will help. Anyway, I will think more on it and respond again if I can think of anything. Sorry for the spelling. I am so use to spell check!!! Good Luck to you and your little sweetie. God Bless you and your husband.

I read all of the other replies - and they were all very good ideas and all have an element of the truth (ie: missing dad in addition to being a typical toddler not wanting to go to sleep). Experts typically suggest a "bedtime routine" - even let your daughter assist in designing the routine - where as the final event is going to sleep. Once you implement some of the other ideas to "keep dad near " (ie: tshirt of dads, talking to the moon, etc) remind daughter that as a soldier - dad doesnt always get a lot of sleep - and he would appreciate it if she would get a few zzzs for him. Then - once you have completed the nightly routine - leave the room and close the door, and be confident - not hesitant. The more that you hover - it makes a child think that there is something they should be worried about - and thus keep them fearful and awake longer. good luck! I know that every kid is different - but my husband and i implemented this technique for our kids and never had sleeping issues.