"Wild" After School

Being an educator - the first thing I would look at is the school he is in. Not playing for a 5 year old is NOT age appropriate and it does not sound like they "understand the needs for a child."
Because you only have a week left, I would suggest letting him go outside (maybe already having his lunch ready) and go outside with him. He could play and have a picnic with mommy at the same time. That would also give you 2 time together.
Hang in there - I am the mom of 2 boys and understand.

you pick him up at lunch time right? or am I getting that wrong? anyway pack a picnic lunch and go to the park on nice days. on days you cant go out side, get a kid exercise dvd. We have one called "Happy healthy monsters" its from sesame street. My kids love it.

N.-
This is not uncommon in either boys or girls. Many children behave beautifully at school and other places and go "wild " once back at home. I would suggest that first you take comfort in knowing that your son is demonstrating fantastic self control to be able to behave so well at school. Aftewr school perhaps he could go play outside before you try to feed him lunch to get some of the "pent-up" energy out. Swinging has done wonders for my children, as well as giving them a little down time before I start placing my demands on them. I hope this helps, good luck.
D. (mom to 8 year old triplets)

My daughter was like this around this age. Very well behaved in school, but crazy when she got home. She finally verbalized it to me after awhile saying that she could "be herself" at home. In other words, she had to work so hard at behaving in school that she just needed to unwind and act out later to balance it all out. I got a trampoline and gave her a lot of backyard playtime when she was home to help her to vent and get back in touch with nature and herself. It helped a lot and she continues to love the outdoors and uses walks in the backyard to calm herself when she's stressed out.

so that's what wrong with my 5 year old...he has surging testosterone...the only thing is that it has been surging for a long time now :) ...he is my youngest and my wild child...about your situation, i have always read that children misbehave the most around people with which they are most comfortable...he's worked hard all day behaving at school for his teacher and when he gets home he lets loose...this is normal...i would let him have his free time and try to sit down with some one on one time with him later in the day...getting him outside to play would help, too...we stop at the park almost everyday when the weather permits...if it's in the 50's or hotter and not raining we try to go as we live in an apartment and can't just send the kids out to play in the backyard...hope this helps...

It sounds like you already know what is wrong- he needs time outside- or at least he needs some activity time. I know it is probably more convenient for you to have him eat right after school, but is that the best time for him? Maybe he needs a little time to cut loose after so many hours indoors learning and behaving himself. We all tend to relax our manners a little more at home- maybe this is his way of doing so. Maybe it is time to work with him and his energy. Let him play outside for 30 minutes, or cut the music up on rainy days. pushing lunch back for 30 minutes won't hurt your older one, although if you feed the younger one at the same time, you may need to juggle for a week or so to get him on the same schedule. But then again- aren't we all always juggling? good luck.

N./Nikki,
Sorry I saw two different names there.
Your little guy sounds adorable. I am a preschool teacher and have been for 19 years. The class absolutely needs to try to go outside EVERYDAY. If the teacher thinks it is "cold", she needs to wear a heavier coat. I instruct my parents in August that we go out everyday. It would take a monsoon to keep me from taking them to the playground. I also take walks within the outdoor church campus and have outdoor snack. Of course, he needs to run off his energy. I would speak with the teacher and THEN, I would speak to the Director.
Children are often "good as gold" at school and "let down their hair" when they walk in the door from school. He feels comfortable enough to do this at home but there, too, he needs to know his boundaries. We can't all just run amuck because we feel like it. As he matures, he will understand this "self-control" a bit better and hopefully, police himself or accept gentle reminders.
3 little boys! That is quite the baseball team you have going there.
At this point, I would tell you to attempt to "channel" his energy into positive things. He can have helping chores, plant a garden and watch something grow, eat a simple supper and have a few more minutes for stories in the afternoon!
Best wishes to you and your family.
Cathy

Hi! I'm the mother of a 5 year old that is in pre-k. He does exactly the same thing as yours does. I really think that it takes a lot for them to "behave" for the 4 hours that they are there. Once they are home, they get the opportunity to just let go and relax. This for a lot of boys is kind of acting crazy. The teachers told me that mine is wonderful at school and does not act like this while there. I finally decided that I'm happy with that. This means he knows how to behave while he is not in my presence. Something I have done while raising him has worked. I have read something similar in one of those parenting magazines. At this age, they have a lot of stimulation while in pre-k that can also make them a little over stimulated when they leave. I make sure that he has some down time for a little while in the afternoon. We get home about 1:15 and he runs around until about 2:15 and then he goes to his room for 45 minutes for a "rest" where he plays quietly or looks at books in his bed.
Hope this helps!
K.

Schools are so structured now, 50 years ago kids didn't go to school until 1st grade and now it's like manditory preK. While I believe education is great I also believe that little kids learn best thru pretending and just playing. When he gets home he just wants to be a kid, his mind is tired of being structured all day it's a lot on a little kid! Another thing on the out door play thats ridiculous! When I taught at a preschool( it was a full day class) the kids went out side for 1/2 an hour 2x a day sometimes 3x a day unless it was raining in the winter (and I lived up north) we bundled them up and in the summer we put sunblock on every last one of them! they need the fresh air and to run and play! I agree with the trampoline thing something to help him get that energy out. Just don't let him be disrespectful make sure he's not testing you say he behaves at school b/c his teacher has authority and he has respect, that doesn't seem to be your problem though from what you wrote. Is he interested in sports or anything like that you could sign him up for something thats more fun based then actual competiton. Anyways it sounds like you have a normal healthy 5 year old, just let him play and unwind from school (as long as he's not being too rough with the baby.)

This seems obvious to me but you didn't say that he goes outside to play at your house after preschool. Do you take him out?

My kids are always a little crazy after preschool too (I have a 4 year old and a 2.5 year old). I think it's because they feel like they can let loose after being in school, where they are both well behaved. I've always heard that kids are worse at home because that's where they are most comfortable.

S.

My son is 3 years old and acts this way! If his step sister is at our house he tortures her too! And she's 8. I have noticed if I let him go outside and play, ride his bike, throw the ball around, he does fine when he comes back in, but if he has to stay in the house he rolls all over the floor, turns flips off the back of the chair, does cartwheels, etc. And I'm talking LIMITED SPACE too! I send him to his room, discipline him, etc. and a while later he's doing it again....Wow, must be a "boy" thing, but every chance I get to send him outside I do...so if you can grab a wagon, put your 17 month in it and you and your 5 year old go for a walk. That may help. Good luck.

N. -
First of all you are not alone. But, I know how frustrating this can be. I am the mother of five - four boys and a girl, in that order. My oldest was eight in March. I experience this "wild" after school behavior from him more than anyone. And, it started when he was around 4 or 5. He reminds me of your son - advanced for his age, very smart, reading early, etc. He never gets in trouble in school and beats himself up if he doesn't perform perfectly on a test. BUT, the minute he gets in the car after school, he goes "wild." And it can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. I've come to the conclusion that because he is so good at school and he is a boy, that at some point he has to release his energy. Because he is comfortable around me and knows I'll love him anyway - even though he is often repremanded for his behavior - he just lets it all out when he feels "safe." I have learned to accept the way God made boys, trying to find outlets for them to expound on their explosive energy. Some things you might want to try is let him jump rope or do a few soccer drills, or run a few laps around the house (the outside of it!), right when he gets home to let some of it out. Then, try the lunch and it may be more civil. He may not be hungry right when he gets home. I know at the preschool we attend they have snacks and the kids just aren't always hungry. Maybe the time you two spend together right after school could be outside and in a way that will let some of that pent-up, "I've been great and school and I'm restless" energy out! And since you love to exercise, it will be yet another way for you to promote your healthy lifestyle to your family!

It may be time to invest in some kind of after school play facility like...My little gym... gymnastics... baseball... even the YMCA has programs for small children. I know once I got my hyper 4 year old into gymnastics and dance she now comes home exhausted and goes to sleep at 8:30.

Good luck!

Pamela

I think you answered your own question -- trust your instincts and get the boy outside if he isn't getting enough play time. Let him run the energy off in your backyard or enroll him in an after school class, like gymboree or rollie pollies or something. He just needs to get his energy out. My daughter is the same way. I used to pick her up early from school, just as outdoor playtime was beginning. She would drive me nuts with her energy at home. When I let her stay at school an hour longer, not only did I have time to get some extra errands and chores done, but she came home much more peaceful (i.e. tired!). Since your son can't get the active time he needs at school, you should find a way to provide it for him.

Best wishes!

Hello, I too have a very active 6 yr old boy. You should limit and monitor the amount of sugar in his diet. If you give him juice, cut it in half and put the rest water. His snacks should be less processed foods more fresh veggies. This helped tone down my son a bit, but he still needs the outdoor play. I also have him busy with baseball. If you have a backyard, give him a yard task to do that will allow him to focus a bit while enjoying the outside. I have my son pull weeds, and he loves it. Good Luck!

Have a chat with your pediatrician, please. I am not going to try to "diagnose" your child, but I've recently gone through something similar and two weeks ago figured out through testing that my five year old has mild to moderate ADHD. If you'd like to read an interesting book before you even talk to the pediatrician, it's called "Taking Charge of ADHD," by Russell Barkley. He offers a lot of insight into what it is, how it's caused and how to manage it. The behavioral stuff is great. I've seen a change in my son's home behavior (and gotten much better reports from preschool) since trying some of the suggested things. We are not planning to medicate him unless school becomes a problem on down the road. He is exceptionally bright, but can easily be sidetracked. That said, I can't agree more with the other responses that your son probably needs to get out every day to get a "move" on. My son LOVES riding his bike, and I can see that it improves his mood a great deal when he gets to ride. I've heard that anecdotally from other parents whose children have ADHD, that getting them moving really helps.

Hi. Sounds like he may need a little nap. My son is 4 1/2 and he will sleep 3 hours after his school days. If he doesn't get a nap he is a wild man.

I saw only one other post that mentioned this... but my 5 year old still takes a nap after school. That probably sounds old for a nap for many, but I personally think many people give them up too soon. He seems to welcome the chance to wind down for an hour after school. He doesn't ALWAYS sleep, but 9 times out of 10 he does. When my kids are tired, they don't LOOK sleepy, they look wired. Good luck...

My boys do this occasionally also. I think that it is just that things are structured at school and he can't completely be himself. He just wants time to unwind and do what HE wants to do for a while. You might want to give him 30-60 minutes to do what he wants to blow off steam- as long as no one is in danger :)

My kid sometimes gets like this when his blood sugar is low. I keep little bags of oyster crackers in my purse or in the car. Just nibbling on crackers can sometimes do wonders for his personality. Sometimes they don't realize they are cranky because they are hungry, and they're too cranky to sit down and eat when they get home, so it's best to have them nibble while they're strapped in the car seat with nothing else to do. (Yeah, you'll get crumbs in the car. Oh well)

You obviously feel that the kids would de better to have a little more outdoor time at school. (Yesterday WAS a GORGEOUS spring day - practically a crime not to let preschoolers out to soak up the sunshine.) Don't be afraid to bring it up with the teachers or school principal - you can say it's something they can think about for next year. I mean, politely, respectfully, but determinedly. Acknowledge that the school obviously can't do everything that every parent suggests, so they won't think you're being unreasonable or bossy. But at the same time, they may have other parents who are pressuring them to spend more time "drilling the basics" or whatever they do to keep them inside. Make a point to meet other parents and see what they think, and maybe you'll find a few allies. If your kid needs it, there's probably other kids that need it, too.
(Or someone who's kid also goes beserk and they're willing to take turns taking the kids to the park or nature center or whatever.)

We looked long and hard to find a school that really embraces outdoor time for kids, and they always tell the parents to send in rain jackets, rainboots, and a spare change of clothes to keep at the school, (changed out when the seasons change) because unless it's storming, or REALLY REALLY cold, the kids WILL be spending time outside.

And sadly, even some of the school playgrounds are just a bunch of plastic or metal equipment on a section of open field. Everyday I drive by Hembree Springs Elementary, and the barren playground doesn't have a single tree - no shade, it looks hot as an oven and depressing. There's no more connection to nature there than an urban ghetto.

I was just reading something about this in the grocery check-out line -

http://www.publix.com/wellness/greenwise/feature/Article....

This article is about a man who was going through a tough time when he was six. And he found that when he sat still by a river bank and just watched the water and trees and listened to the birds, that everything felt better. He spent a lot of time in nature growing up, and then he moved to a big city, and found that he fell into a depression. He didn't realize until he moved away again that the depression was due to being away from nature while he lived in the city.

It affects some people more profoundly than others, just like Seasonal Affective Disorder affects some people much more than others. (In places like Scandinavia, when there's hardly any sunshine during the long winter, the suicide rate always jumps.)

There are actually a number of books coming out these days that support the way you feel and stress the importance of outside time for kids. You may be interested in these
"The Last Child in Nature"
"What Happened to Recess and Why are our children struggling in Kindergarten?"
"Recess: It's role in Education and Development".