Why Don't Husbands Get "Mother's Intuition"???

Every SAHD I know has 'mother's intuition'.

More proximity & understanding... less genetics or gender.

They probably have "father's intuition" but we all-knowing mothers choose to ignore or devalue theirs. I might be guilty of this myself.

I agree with Jo. He probably did just want everyone to tough it out. I had to throw up off of a ski lift when I was a little girl before I convinced my parents that I wasn't feeling well and should be allowed to just sit by the fire in the lodge for the rest of the day. We were a "tough it out" kinda family.

It has nothing to do with mother's intuition. My husband has perfectly fine "intuition" in regard to the children when he's paying enough attention and not focusing on other things/himself. He has a tendency to take care of himself first and then the kids when he's super hungry or super tired. And since I spend the most time with the kids, I pick up on the little cues faster than he does, but when he's tuned in he notices as well.

Friends whose husbands are the primary caregivers during the day are the expert sick-spotters. My best friend's husband picks up the signs much faster than she does.

Try not to paint fathers with such a broad brush. It's not fair.

Eh, that sounds more like a case of dad just wanted to soldier on than ignoring mother's intuition.

I am a woman and a mom and I don't put a lot of stock in it myself. Sure I can tell when my kids are getting into stuff and my ex never could but that was me knowing my kids, what is normal, what is not. That isn't intuition that is properly understanding the data as it is presented.

I mean intuition is supposed to independent of a reasoning process. Kid claims to be sick it is reasonable to think they are sick, ya know?

I was raised by a single father, and his 'Daddy's Intuition' was just as good as any mother I ever knew!

My own mother has the maternal instincts of a rabid alley cat... During our visitation with her, there have been 3 instances where my siblings or I had broken a bone, and not gotten medical attention until my dad randomly came to visit (Now THAT'S intuition... he always seemed to know when something was 'up' even when no one told him...)

Although, I notice in my own family that my intuition is much stronger than Daddy's... I think it depends on who is the primary caretaker, and who is around the child in question enough to pick up on the tiny little actions that let us know how our child is feeling. :)

Not to split hairs, but could it be more of the "primary caregiver" intuition?

Doesn't sound much like intuition - she said she felt ill, you used superior knowledge that she rarely complains of feeling ill and acted in the child's best interest. Sounds like a smart parent, more than any intuition attributable to the act of carrying the child.

Unless you're saying this is a female thing (to account for moms that adopt), and then I'll just leave that one right alone! :)

Because, they aren't mothers...!

I think there needs to be a balance. Men tend to be more tuned into the practical, and mothers the emotional.

Honestly, I think there is such a thing as mother's intuition simply because woman carry the child & give birth.

Do some men in some relationshps carry more of the sensitive gene?
Yes, I believe so.
Why? I think in those cases the men are the more sensitive types in the duo/pair.

I feel in each relationship there is a dynamic. One who is more sensitive, let's say. And on that is more physically strong meaning the one that kills the rats, fixes the broken plumbing, mends the fences (literally) etc.

I think it is a blance.

My husband is always in denial. He just cannot see anything subtle. He needs to be thrown up on to admit, the child is ill.

Because they are MEN.

I once read somewhere that women in general have more connections between the left half and right half of the brain, so we can literally make connections (coordinate data) in ways that most men can not = women's/mother's intuition.
That doesn't mean that there are not some pretty intuitive men out there, because there are, and there are some women just don't have it.

Because they are men they don't get many things.

Okay to be fair ------ Men are just programed differently. Whether or not they were in the military they need to soldier on --- take one for the team --- not admit defeat............

I have found that men usually fall into one of two catagories they either NEVER get sick and carry on no matter what OR they become total babies and cave in to every sniffle or sneeze -- ache or pain.

They can't admit we have something they don't?

Why don't husbands get "Mother's Intuition"???

Because they don't have it, dear ;)

Same thing happened to us last weekend. Our friends came over and as soon as they got out of the car, their little boy barfed all over. The mom had been telling the dad all day long that she didn't think he felt well and maybe they should cancel w/ us and the dad kept saying, Nah, he's fine! Hmmm....

glad your daughter's feeling better!

My Husband does have good intuition with some things and per the kids, I have to admit. He has a good gut instinct radar about some things.

But when my kids are sick or getting sick... I am the one that knows best.
And he will refer them to me. ;)
He will always ask me what I think, should the kid stay home or not from school, or go to the Doctor or not, or is it bad or not, etc.

Aside from that: in my city, lots of kids and adults were getting that stomach bug/illness you describe your daughter as experiencing.
So head's up.

Because he's a man! Everytime I have went against my mother's intuition (typically due to my hubby) I usually regret it.

The answer is that because mother's intuition has about a 50/50 chance of being right. Based on my own wife's experience, of course. Don't forget about father's intuition, either. Also about 50/50.

I'm going to have to agree with Riley and a couple others on proximity. My husband just doesn't spend enough time with our children to get that intuition. However, during the summer when he's home more (he's a teacher), he gets a lot better at it. It's just being around them enough to make those same connections you do.

However, most dads have a "they're fine" reaction to things. I think, for the most part, this is a good thing. It balances out the mommying, and it allows kids to take more risks than they would around over-protective mom. But sometimes it backfires, like when a kid is sick.

Glad she's feeling better! :-)

To me, it's the yin and yan of parenthood. It is your job to take care of your baby and protect it so that it makes it to adulthood alive and in one piece. It is his job to toughen up that child so that he or she can make it in the adult world when mommy is not always around for protection. Both thing are necessary and provide balance. Yes, it can lead to arguments and protestations over which way is best, so it is frustrating, however, both the male and female tendencies work together to grow a strong, secure, self-sufficient child.

PS. My apologies to all the people that I have just offended. Haha.

I don't think it had to do with your DD at all. Your DH wanted to eat and that's all that was on his mind. And frankly, he probably wasn't really bothered if she really was sick or not because YOU offered to stay at the hotel with her while he and DS went out to eat. He knew you would take care of it, as usual, he just wanted a burger. Typical. LOL!

Thankfully my husband now does understand it and goes along with it.

My ex on the other hand I don't think even hitting him upside the head with a 2x4 would even help him get it to sink in.

When #3 was about a year old he was sick.. I mean sick! I took him to the Dr and they said he just had a virus ( His normal ped was booked so we seen a different one). The next day after throwing up nonstop keeping nothing down... I took him back... was told the same thing. On the third day it was my parents anniv and we went out to eat with them and while there our son was drinking pedialyte and threw it up. Then threw up again as we were leaving. I told him I was going back to the ER ( it was Sat and the office was closed) he threw a HUGE fit!! The first Dr came in and looked at him and said he has a virus. I flipped out! I said no he doesn't.. there is more going on with him. The Dr told me there wasn't and tried to send me home. I stood there and SCREAMED at her to get my regular ped in there. They refused so I started calling every person in the phone book with the last name... after the 5th call they agreed to call her in. She came in and took one look at our son and could not believe they were going to send him home. She asked some questions and took a couple of tests after hooking him up to an IV because he was dehydrated. Before any tests even came back she had up moved up to the peds unit in the hospital. Came back he had rotavirus ( this was before a vaccine was common).

The Dr apologized so much for the previous Drs missing it and told me next time any of my kids are really sick ask to speak to her and she will get me in to see the kids so nothing like this happens again. Then she said she was so glad I took a stance on this and demanded more because had we waited 6-8 hours to bring him in, he would have passed away from dehydration! I looked at my husband and said yeah and nothing was wrong with him was there? He just shrugged and left to go home...

Sometimes we as parents KNOW when something is up with our kids, I think its because we choose to spend time with our kids and be there for them not just when its convenient. ( this goes for some fathers also)

( sorry there is my vent ;) )

Glad DD isn't too sick. Hope she feels better tomorrow and can enjoy the vacation.

I think men COULD have mother's intuition if they would get out of their own way and listen to that little voice in their head. But they are like children - they want what they want when they want it. A sick kid gets in the way of that.

It's not only true about children, but in my case the first thing that came to mind was my car. Now when my hubby's work van starts making a "noise" he immediately takes it in to be fixed. I, on the other hand, can tell him for a month about a strange "noise" and even when I point it out to him, he tells me "that's normal. all cars make that sound." WTH???? Does he think I've never been in a car before? It's just that to acknowledge it would be inconvenient for him because it will require him to put out effort to have it fixed.

I think they ignor their "mother's intuition" because it's just easier.

Men are men. They generally tend to think rationally and logically. My brother says I'm very logical and reasonable "for a woman" (he actually meant that as a compliment, lol) BUT women seem to be more in tune to that 6th sense and are more discerning sometimes....I think women really are willing to act on something that doesn't have tangible proof or evidence than a man, as men want things to make sense, generally speaking.

I listen to my gut and that "6th sense" more than I will pay attention to any evidence that I can find with my other 5 senses. I do believe it is a gift, and why men need women as well.
I remember once my mom was at a business dinner with my dad's boss in Louisiana while my little brother (in 4th grade) was visiting friends in Texas. She dropped her fork and said "I'm sorry---I need a phone right now! Jonny's hurt". They just looked at her like she was off her rocker, but she ran to the payphone (this was many years ago) to call and reached a member of the family that Jonny was visiting....he had just left to go to the hospital, he'd fallen off a moped without a helmet and the only reason the hospital was taking him without parental consent and insurance papers was because it was a head injury. She was able to get the number and phone the hospital, and took care of business then, and he got stitches in his head and a funny haircut from the hospital.
We've had those experiences with people, house shopping, etc and my husband has learned to just listen. If I have a logical reason, he may argue his case, but if I say "I feel __" then he goes with it because in the 13 years we've known each other, he can't think of one time I was wrong (intuitively speaking, not "normal" things).
Grandma T made an interesting point. Just when I'm thinking my husband is void of intuition and a little "dumb", he shows me his street smarts that wows me. He is very good at reading situational and environmental cues and moving us from danger before things happen. So yeah---perhaps their intuition is just tuned in for DIFFERENT things, like protection.