Why Does My 3.5 Month Son Cry Whenever I Hold Him?

Each of my kids went through phases like this - first preferring one parent, and then at some point later preferring the other parent. It is totally normal. Just keep loving him through it. Keep holding him. Keep giving your wife those breaks. This is a phase, and it will pass.

S.,

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Breathe daddy. Breathe. The first year is a LOT of changing and the most growth in your son's entire life!

It's gotten colder, are you wearing a different jacket?
are you a smoker? did you start smoking?
Little changes are picked up upon by infants.

However, in my experience? This is a stage, I would bet he's starting to teeth and he'll be VERY uncomfortable. Frozen wash clothes for him to chew on.

Don't stress over this papa. He'll pick up on it. It's okay. It's a stage. Breathe. You've got this!

Could be a lot of things.
It's not too soon to start teething.
When our son was that age I'd pick him up at daycare after work and hear how good he'd been all day - only to get him home and have him cry for several hours.
Some think it's colic - they call it the witching hour - but it lasts several hours at least.
It's a strain being good all day.
When we get home, they trust you to show their true feelings and let it all hang out.
It's flattering in an annoying kind of way.
Try taking him for a stroller walk to get some fresh air.
It helps tire him out and he'll sleep better.
It's a stage they out grow sooner or later.
When they are hardest to love is when they need it the most!
Hang in there!

http://www.sdbfc.com/blog/2014/5/21/witching-hour-vs-coli...

Mine all went through a very inconsolable phase, in the evenings only, for us it started at around 6 weeks. Two full weeks of it, but with one of my kids, it lasted into the 3rd month.

I can remember my husband walking our son up and down our hall, swinging him in his car seat. Car rides ..

It will pass. My sister called me one night and could hear my baby crying in the background, with my husband walking him. She said "Oh you've hit the 6 week mark". Her kids were the same. It happens at different ages, different growth spurts.

Some like being swaddled and held very tight, almost sideways. One liked being in her baby carrier. My mother used to do this jiggle jiggle shhhh thing that worked like a charm.

By 4 months, those spells for us passed. It happens to everyone. My husband felt useless because I was breastfeeding, and he couldn't console them. Sometimes that was the only thing that worked. They weren't nursing, so much as needing to soothe.

Soothers ...

he's a tiny, tiny baby. you don't know what tiny baby stressors or anxieties are going on. and tiny, tiny babies go through rapid phases that include clingy preferences for one parent or the other, which flip flop at dizzying speeds.
no one here can tell you why your baby is crying today when you hold him, but i hope you don't fall into the new parent trap of allowing a tiny tiny baby to hold the family emotions hostage.
something's setting him off today. his own parents don't know what it is, and strangers on the internet certainly don't know.
but what i DO know is that what tiny tiny babies need is calm, sensible, loving, soothing parents who aren't buffeted about by tiny baby whims and vagaries.
he'll probably cry when family holds him too.
sometimes.
this is parenting.
staying calm and cool when your offspring is melting down.
khairete
S.

Good advice below. Please re-read a few times until you feel calmer. Most kids go through phases of preferring one parent over the other (it's not personal - it just happens). At some point, he will be so attached to you and your wife will feel abandoned too. You just push through it, and by the time you figure it out, the phase passes.

It's the end of the day, and he's tired. He may not transition well from one to the other - which is to say, if you spent the daytime hours with him and your wife took over at 7 PM, he might do exactly the same thing.

The important things are:
1) not to get upset - babies (and toddlers and children) pick up on your anxiety. So the more agitated or frustrated you get, the less calming you can be for the child.
2) Not to cancel plans with family or holidays because maybe he'll be tough to calm down. Just get through it. If you feel like you have to impress family with your well-behaved infant, please don't. They need to understand that babies do stuff that's, well, baby-like. He could be fine, you don't know. And even if he's awful, how much better will it be at home with just you? At least there will be more distractions and more people to perhaps entertain him. Find a way to have a quiet place, or a car ride, or a walk in the cold (just bundle him up and get some fresh air).