My Baby Doesn't Seem to like Her Daddy : (

Does he wear after shave or cologne? It's possible that something about him is putting her off. Maybe he's nervous and she's feeling that. Do the two of you sit on the couch together and watch tv at night? If you sit real close and pass her over as she falls asleep, maybe she'll get used to him with you right there.

I feel so sorry for dad. There has to be a reason somehow.

This happened with both of my girls, but by about 18 months-2 years old they will only want their daddy. My 15 month old still prefers me over my husband.

My son wanted nothing to do with my husband for his first 5 months. I wasn't able to take a 5 minute shower w/o him crying. My husband had a huge complex and it did bother him alot. I just kept saying it's a phase and it was. Now every time my son sees my husband he's greeted with a huge smile!:) Just tell your husband to have patience also don't stop trying to be close to her.

Here's the deal with kids; one minute they only have eyes for mommy and the next it's all about daddy. Kids are quirky like that. Tell your hubby that of course your daughter is more in tune with you because you are there 24/7. That doesn't mean she hates him. Babies don't hate. And she doesn't misbehave for her dad; she just cries.

He needs to get more actively involved when he's home. If you are bottle feeding then have him do the feedings. Throw her in the stroller and have him take her out for a walk. Have him change diapers, do baths, etc. Anything that will give him hands on care of his daughter and will give him the confidence to interact with her.

"Behave" is not a word that can be applied to a three month old. They are concerned with keeping their life source close to them (mom). This is normal behavior for a small child. When my dd was 2 she still did not want much to do with her dad. Now she's 7 and their closeness is something I could easily envy, if I allowed myself to do that. (I'm happy for them. I am not jealous. I keep telling myself that. LOL)

She's a smart baby. She really doesn't need daddy yet. It's all about needs right now. Indulge her and when she's ready, she'll be his greatest admirer.

She is NOT misbehaving. at 3 months she is just mommy's baby. Have him keep trying playing with her etc. you can't expect a 3 month old to 'behave'. She just happens to like mommy now. that is it be expected you are her food and comfort and she will adjust to having two caregivers soon. There will be times when she will 'hate' you and just want daddy later on. So I think you both will have to put up with her crying with daddy for a little while. don't worry about it it's natural. She doesn't hate him she just doesn't quite realize who he is yet. give it time and let him hold and play with her alot. She'll get it.

I've been on the side that your husband is on, and it is not fun. The only advice I can give is to make sure when you are both home that he helps with her. Maybe let him do bathtime, storytime and bedtime and you do feedings and things. In her own time she will come around, but it cannot be forced. It's not that she "hates" daddy; she just feels more comfortable with you. Reassure him that a baby does not know the feeling of hate therefore she cannot hate him. It will take a lot of patience, but l'm sure you guys can get this under control. I'm sorry your husband is going through this because like I said it is not easy to be in his place.
Best of luck to you and your family:-)

My son was exactly like that with my mom at this age. We decided that she was being too gentle with him and he didn't feel secure. She started holding him tighter and that seemed to solve the problem. There is someting bothering your baby that you just haven't figured out yet. She's too young to hate him--babies don't "hate" anyone. Maybe he can make goo-goo talk to her while you hold her until she comes around. Whatever it is, it's just a phase, and someday you'll laugh about it when he comes home from work and she plows him over because "Daddy's home!"

Babies have no sense of good or bad behavior, so I hope you won't label her honest and natural response as such.

There is apparently something about the way your DH looks, smells, or holds her that is not comforting to her, and at only 3 months, she is all about comfort and security. If Daddy is tense about not being loved or anything else about his relationship with his little girl, that may very well be transmitted through his body or voice to her, making her further ill at ease.

Try lying in bed together, with her in between the two of you. Daddy can gradually increase the amount of interaction with his baby at whatever pace she'll accept without upset. I'll bet in a couple of weeks or so, all will be well.

Be aware that young children go through natural (but disturbing to parents) phases of preferring one parent over the other. At some point she may want Daddy only, all the time. Those preferences are hard to explain, and can switch from week to week. Don't take it personally – she'll just be (very clumsily) exploring her full range of emotions.

My baby wasn't as bad as that but no matter what we did, my husband couldn't put my son to sleep when he was that age. As soon as he handed the baby over to me, my son would stop crying and fall asleep and my husband started to take it personally. Well, one day, we tried putting a pillow in between his chest and the baby and voila! Turns out the baby just liked the softness of boobies! haha. That might be why she likes being held by you and your mom. Try the pillow idea..Good luck!

update: and try swaddling her before he holds her. it'll help her to feel more secure..

Our daughter had a mild problem of this also. If shes with you and your mother mostly, then thats what shes used to. Daddys hold baby differently, smell differently...all kinds of things. It will pass. :-) I would do what Peg suggested, lay in bed with hubby and baby in the middle. She will get used to him, shes not old enough to dislike anyone.

My son just turned 3 months old today. He loves to laugh and coo with me but as soon as his daddy holds him he cries and whines. But my husbands solution is to always put him in the other room. My husband doesn't play with him much. I do though because I keep telling him putting him in another room just cuse you don't want to hear it is mean. But babies can feel the annoyance people give off. I believe thats why my son doesn't like his dad right now. Don't worry it will get better. :)

A.

It's a phase, I PROMISE! She is going to do a 180 eventually and only want him, not you. Instead of feeling hurt, take advantage of it because in a few months, he is going to have his hands full with her and she's never going to get enough of him!! If it makes him feel any better, most babies first words are 'dada' (what you DON'T have to tell him, is 'dada' is simply easier to say than 'mama', but it might boost his ego!) Keep him involved with things he CAN do to help... he will find his niche, and learn that there are things that only he can do special for her, like a special bedtime song or story. Like I said, the tables will turn before he knows it :) Best wishes!

Your baby's behavior is expected for her age and in no way means that she doesn't like her Dad. Instead it shows that she has bonded well to you. I have 3 small children and every one of them preferred Mom (should I say DEMANDED me) until after 5 or 6 months old. My husband could hold them for a couple minutes here and there, but the kids would always fuss and cry until they were back in my arms. Give it time and don't take it personal. Please reassure your husband that this is normal, even healthy behavior his daughter is exhibiting. For my kids, usually about 6-9 months they began enjoying interaction with their Dad and he began to enjoy them as well. It wasn't until after they started walking that my husband actually used the word, "fun" to describe any of our kids. He loves them each dearly, but babies are harder for men to relate to. Best wishes. R., midwife mom of 3 little ones.

she is not being bad or hating him....please tell daddy to not take it personally!!!!
She is a baby and wants mommy...that is normal. You are with her all day. This will happen alot as she grows up...wants you, wants him, neither etc. My husband took it personal too and kept trying to explain developmentally why she was doing this. He was a great dad!!! Do more research so you can give him legitimate info so he does not get upset...it will only make their relationship even more of an issue sense she will sense his anxiety!!

Normal, just wait. Unfortunately. Meanwhile, don't force her & him to be together or you'll severely hurt his self esteem!

As for why she'll take your mom... maybe you two are similar enough, smell alike or whatever. Don't exclude him, ever. But constantly ensure your daughter is around dad and that dad is a "good guy"

Ashely,

I'm sorry that you are going through this but let me assure you, your daughter doesn't dislike her dad. It's not uncommon for infants to be very attached to one parent. It could also be something as simple as the way he holds her. If he is nervous or lacks confidence when caring for her she may be picking up on that and feel insecure. This doesn't make him a bad Dad by any means. Many men are very uncomfortable with handling infants. If he has facial hair, try asking him to shave it. If he has a booming voice try working with him to tone his voice down. Little things like that can make a big difference to an infant. My daughter used to scream when she saw my dad because he's a large man with a booming voice and a beard.

And as my grandmother always said, "This too shall pass..."

my dd is just shy of her 1st bday, and it drove my hubby crazy when she would cry whenever he would pick her up. I could have her fast asleep leave for work and not 10 min later he would send me a text that she is screaming crying it would take him about an hour to calm her then about 15 min before I was due to arrive home she would have another melt down. I would walk through the door and all was fine. Now that I am a stay at home mom its alittle dif I can come and go and she will just hang out with him. She loves it when he gets on the floor and plays with her. Although she plays rough and he usually has a scratch or red mark from where she hit him with a toy. the other day she gave him a bloody nose. Give it time and make sure he has play time with her on the floor. he should not shy away.