Why - Toledo,OH

That usually happens at this age. My husband and I have 5 children. When we get a fit, we pick that child up witout saying a word and set them in their room and close the door. When they are done crying they can come out. They know this and don't like it. Fit's are very rare around here now.

They are still trying to figure out how they feel. They do not understand their feelings, so you need to give them the words.

"You seem angry." "You seem frustrated." "You seem tired." Just pick the one you think your child is feeling.

Then you need to give them a big hug and tell them, "you need some quiet time. Do you want to sit in the chair quietly or in your room quietly."

Then place them there till they can calm down. Do this every time.

If they start to throw themselves on the floor like a tantrum. Do not say a word, step over them and leave the room. If you are out in public like a store and they throw a tantrum. Do not say a word, pick up your child and put them in your car and go straight home.

Tell them that they cannot go back to the store till they do not throw fits. Do this every time. They will learn that you will not put up with this behavior/.

You are the adult, you do not get pulled into their emotions. They need you to be strong and show correct behavior.

Sometimes if my daughter was on my last nerve, I would put myself in time out and tell her "Mommy is frustrated and need a time out."

Ignore it the best you can and walk away. They need to learn that throwing fits does not get them what they want, but talking in a calm voice is the key to getting their needs met. We're right there with you with our 2.5 year old, and I do see that he is getting better at voicing his needs more and fitting less.

Good luck!
T.

I take a step back, slow our routine way down, and instead of 'time out' we have 'time in'. I hold the child on my lap gently, take a deep breath, and try to put into words how my child might be feeling. Next, I ask myself, is my child tired, hungry, feeling sick, or overwhelmed. I offer a nutritious snack, make sure the child has a nap, if needed. The other thing, check your little one's mouth. It might be the 2 yr old molars coming in. They make the child crabby and just miserable -and miserable to live with. If not, rest assured it'll get better. It's just that intense strive for independence starting to show up. We all have it. Hugs

just remember that a child that young doesnt know how to express themselves. When mine throws fits hes tired he automatically goes to bed. He throws fits cause his horses and cowboys arent playing right. For the most part if they do it they are tired.

I had a 2 year old that did the same my ped told me to make sure there was nothing around she could get hurt on and let her go....walk away. Mine would hold her breath...he said she would breath automatically when it went far enough. As long as I paid attention she continued. It may take a couple of time to walk away for your child to get the messege but they will. Good Luck
S.

React calmly instead of freaking out like the baby wants you to do. Have him sit for 2 minutes by himself... and insists on that (which may take several tries). Don't hold him there physically...that won't calm him down. He has to stay there on his own, and if you keep putting him back in his spot, he will eventually realize he can't win. That will start the calming down... then you calmly affirm that was unaccepable behavior and have him apologize for it and give you a hug. Do it every time and soon you will not be doing it often because he will learn it doesn't work.

First, tell them what to do instead of what to stop doing. They are not at a developmental stage to process what you are saying and will do much better if they hear exactly what you want them to do. Say "keep your feet on the floor", instead of "stop kicking."

Next, put them in a safe place and let them throw the fit and walk away. Do not give them what they want. Do not get upset. Let it pass, be consistent, and never give in. If you are out and it happens, leave. If it continues, make a date to do something fun and plan to leave once they start, it makes it easier for you to stick to your guns that way. For example, if it is a thier birthday party and you go to Chuck E Cheese, and they pitch a fit, you are less likely to be consistent than if you plan a Chuck E Cheese outing with the intent to leave (and teach a lesson) about what happens when the child acts that way in public. A few times is all that it will take. Never waver, and you will see results.

M.

Not sure what you mean by "throwing fights". Like tantrums? Or hitting?

Usually, toddlers don't have much control over their lives, so that can manifest itself in tantrums. When my son throws a fit, I do what I can to give him what he wants while still making him do what I asked. Many times, he just wants a choice. So if I ask him if he wants to brush his teeth or read a book first, he gets to decide but I still get his teeth brushed.

I can tell you that yelling and hitting won't work. They are both forms of violence, and the more you do it, the more they act out against it.

Time out, time alone, take away the toys that are thrown. If someone else gets hurt by the fit (ie a block to someone elses eye, for instance), a small slap to the hand. You could also try counting them. By this age, they are old enough for 1,2,3 Magic and it works on our incredibly stubborn 2 yr old. It puts all the weight on their little shoulders. Just remember, the important part is not talking. Just count, don't get mad, don't yell, remain calm but firm. Say 1. wait 5 seconds and if the behavior hasn't stopped, count 2. Wait another 5 seconds, still remaining silent, just watching your child. And if after another 5 seconds the behavior hasn't stopped, 3, that's 2 minutes in time out, which doesn't start until the crying has stopped.
You'll find that they absolutely hate being counted and after about a week or 2, they will start to stop their behavior by 1 or 2. There are books and movies you can look into, possibly at your local library or they might be able to borrow them from another library. They are invaluable. Our lives got a lot less stressful when we began this program along with his older brother's PreK.
Another important thing to remember is. You are the boss. You have to make sure that little ones know that mom and dad are the authority figures because if you don't do it now, you'll pay for it the rest of your life.

Teach him sign language.... Take a step back, he /she is trying to tell you something...Or in this case, everything!! 2 1/2 Can be a very enjoyable and rewarding time. Try to step back, and redirect.