Who Does This?!

I would have poked his tummy and asked when he's due.

Then again I'm the one who, when a woman at the store put her hand on my tummy and stood there rubbing it, put my hand on the top of her breast and then just stared at her. (I was 7 months along in the worse pregnancy I'd ever had. I had hyperemesis and couldn't keep food down ever...it made me cranky.) When she slapped my hand away and asked what I thought I was doing I said "Oh, I thought we had the kind of relationship where we could touch each other inappropriately and it was ok. My bad." Then I walked off.

I love what Dave Berry has to say about this situation.

"You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment."

We had a neighbor who once she had one child her "belly pooch" never went back.. after 4 HUGE babies, it was really large. It was so hard to know whether she was pregnant again or not.. Other people would ask me and I would remind them of the quote above..

Then her mother came to live with them and we all realized.. it was inherited.. Her mother totally looked like she was pregnant.

Man, that sucks. I hate those type of situations. But, generally I try to serve the uncomfortable tension right back. I probably would have said something to the effect of: "Wow. One of us looks like a giant d*** right now."

Probably would have poked his head and said, " You look stupid" and then went inside. He probably would have figured it out.
L.

I've been there....3 times!!! I'm a small girl but 3 babies later and stretched skin and flabby abdomen makes me look like I have a baby bump. The first time it was a lady at a check out lane who commented on my cute baby bump and wanted to know when I was due....I played along and said in 5 months. All the way home I cursed though. The second time, was when I was signing up for a Boot Camp fitness class and the gentlemen said that pregnant woman needed clearance from their physician.....I told him I wasn't preggers but thanks for looking out for me..... then cursed all the way home. The third time was a sales guy at an antique shop in NYC, he was trying right and left to get me to buy a chandelier and apparently he thought spinning his sales tactic onto "it would look great in your new baby's room!" would get me to buy it, it didn't, I walked away.

I feel your pain, it is SOOO frustrating. Curse it out and you'll get over it, I did, all 3 times, sadly.

If you like a good laugh, you must read Jennifer H's and Sunny D's post. LOL

I've made that mistake twice in my life. I was really embarrassed when the lady said she wasn't pregnant. I was trying to be nice and share the joy. I was going to congratulate her.

Now, if I think a lady is pregnant, I keep it to myself unless she's skinny and it looks like she is 8 months or more along.

I never ask an obese lady if she is pregnant. Not even if she appears to be having contractions.

Good luck to you and yours.

No one else has said it, and heck, maybe they just don't know the men I do, but really, it's not culture, it's not anything other than a male tendency to not think before they speak. It wouldn't hurt his feelings if you said he looked chubby that day, so it just didn't click that it may hurt yours.

I would tell his wife and let her punish him. She hopefully would be outraged.

Wow what a slap in the face! How rude. I probably would of been so shocked I wouldn't havw said anything. Im sorry! Rudeness is universal, no matter where you are from. I would take it with a grain of salt of good for you for exercising! You go girl!

I hope he has a small enough foot to fit into his mouth.

ETA...i might have poked him tummy and said "and are you having twins?"

I am still laughing out loud at Rosebud's suggestion! I don't recommend you do that, but I hope it brought a smile to your face too. It sounds like it is a cultural thing and not very bright on his part. I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt, but try to let it roll off. The fact that you maintain a healthy lifestyle is really what is important. I would probably bring it up to him and let him know it bothered you. Give him the benefit of the doubt since this isn't his native culture, but he needs to know where the boundaries are! Good grief!
A.

Honestly, I'm not trying to offend anyone here, I'm really not.....but I've had some good friends that were Latin American, and the guys are very touchy feely. I don't think they're being pervy (not all the time) but they just kinda do what crosses their mind without thinking it out. When I was younger my Latino friends sometimes crossed lines with the touchy stuff, and said stupid stuff, but I didn't get offended. It was almost like how teen boys think "hark, wanna touch it cuz I'm looking at it" and don't know what to say, so they say something stupid. Blame Catholicism (LOL---that's my husband's answer; he grew up in an all boys' Catholic school so he blames "them" for everything stupid, especially regarding boy/girl stuff). You sound like you're taking care of yourself and doing the right things. Don't be offended. He's probably more embarassed than you are, to tell the truth. He just wasn't thinking and made a big huge dweeb of himself. Nothing on you. As a matter of fact, if you were fat he wouldn't have done it. He'd have just thought "fat chick". Working out kinda drew his attention to ya, in my opinion.
I remember some old Albanian man going on and on about me being pregnant. I was SO annoyed (because it was like 50 times a day). I was NOT pregnant, I kept insisting. I wouldn't have sweated it, except we worked together and he told me ALL.THE.TIME. that I was pregnant. I was like "Lame!" But then a couple weeks later, I felt really gross and went to the doctor. I told him something was "wrong" and I either had AIDS or diabetes or something.....something was "WRONG". Well go figure. I was pregnant afterall.

Some people don't event think! Sounds awfully childish to me.

I suggest that he's a typical insensitive person who didn't intend to offend you. Perhaps, even, for him, to be pregnant is a good thing and he thought he was being nice.

I understand the immediate reaction to his comment and would've probably said, outloud, that I didn't appreciate his comment. I don't know if touching is more socially acceptable in El Salvador than here but it's possible that he has different boundaries than you do.

I suggest that by immediately responding you'd now be over the feeling. It's a matter of communication and being clear about our boundaries that gives a sense of freedom.

You know you're not pregnant. On some level you're unhappy with your tummy or this wouldn't have hurt so much. Or perhaps you have feelings about being pregnant and how this has changed your body. Perhaps you could accept your physical appearance so that this sort of thing doesn't upset you so much. No one can upset us without our permission. That was a hard lesson for me to learn. How to feel good enough about who I am to not be upset by what others think. And to give others the benefit of the doubt. ie. that they didn't intend to hurt me also helps.

It's a man thing, they can be lame like that.
Don't let it hurt your feelings, believe it or not he was telling you that you look doable. (thats what my husband said)

Well....so....are you?

(Honestly, in a bizarre man sort of way, it's probably a compliment. Or he just feels a comfort level with you that you don't feel back)

:)

Oh dear, that would kind of annoy me, but I'd probably try to laugh it off. When I'm running I'm sure I look like I'm pregnant since I'm not concentrating on keeping my belly flat (even though my core muscles are hard at work) and I'm the same way--after 90+ ounces of water I'm looking a little bloated.

It sounds like maybe he was just expressing something he noticed (yes, it was rude) but that he did not intend to be rude or anything. Some people touch pregnant women's bellies (even though I would be more likely to knock someone out if they did that to me), but they do not have mean intentions.

I don't really know what I would have done--probably what you did and just left. Maybe he's embarrassed that he said that. Maybe he isn't. You can fantasize about kicking him or something tonight and just smile the next time you see him. Sorry. How irritating, not to mention deflating to be told that. Be irritated, sleep, and feel good running tomorrow.

I would be pissed off!!!!! I would have slapped his hand away and told him he was being a jerk.

Tacky! Tacky! Tacky!

We'll just chalk it up to a different culture AND a disconnection between his brain and his mouth.

If it happens again, tell him at least you have an excuse for looking a little bloated... What's his?

hmm.. poked him in the tummy and said "Too much beer?" or just realize that perhaps some people do things and say things that are rude, most people have done so sometime in their lives. I guess when I say something that I didn't "think" how it sounded until later, I hope the person can forgive me for being thoughtless. I will do the same for them unless it happens a lot.

I think he was flirting! So there's the humor -- worst flirting ever!!!

What kind of person? An idiot. Who doesn't think.

Geeeez.

Ignore it. He's from the shallow end of the gene pool.

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Unfortunately - there are some people who do it...

It appears that he believes you have a better relationship than you do to touch you and speak so boldly...

How to put him in his place? Aww thanks - nope...not pregnant, are you?

I wouldn't let the small people bother me!!! :)

I'm speechless, I just don't know what the heck I would do!

That is so classless!! First of all, weren't we taught in kindergarten to keep our hands to ourselves? And to be so rude and make a comment like that!? I was be furious.
Personally, I'd avoid any more "friendly" chats with him. What a JERK!!

This might come across as harsh, sexist, even bigoted.... STUPID FOREIGN MEN! I have traveled extensively around the world and it seems a common theme... they think it's funny to belittle or point out a physical difference among women. Social grace... they have none. Father's teach this to their sons! It's so sad. And the guy??? I bet he's not a looker himself!

lol let's see. The first man who did that too me(50 lbs ago) I told him I was simply fat, he felt horrible and sent an apology note to my employer. He was a white american man. Next time it happened it was the secretery at my dds office- I simply said- I am NOT pregnant- and she was very rude. The Next time was an elderly black man- a client of my office, he asked when the baby was due, I replied 7 years ago, and I guess he didn't catch it, but next time he came in he asked how the baby was- and I told him just fine. People mean well- it seems rude, but, I think mostly is a stupid man thing and they don't think before they speak.