When Did You Tell Your Kids About Santa?

You did the right thing. Most kids know by 7 or 8 so you had extra time.

My 6 year old told me today that he knew Santa was me and hubby. He's perfectly happy with it. Some kids wouldn't be but some are. By the time they start school most kids tell the others and then they make fun of the kids that still believe. That's harder than accepting he's not real.

What did he want to know? Did he want to know if he exists? Guess it's time to read YES VIRGINIA THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS.

You did the right thing by answering truthfully.

One of my big regrets is lying to my son when he was 3 and telling him the lie of Santa.

Wait, what do you mean there's no Santa?

The stages of Santa Claus:

You believe in Santa Claus
You don't believe in Santa Claus
You become Santa Claus
You look like Santa Claus

The 'truth' changes so much depending on perspective.
Our son is 15 and we've never told him what to believe one way or the other.
He figures things out for himself and doesn't mind if others choose to believe or not.

You did the right thing. My dd is 7 and still believes but I will tell her when she asks. I was 9 when I found out but I didn't let my parents know that I knew until I was 12. I thought it would hurt their feelings if they found out I knew. :)

I told my little one (LO) when she asked me about Santa (around 4 years old). At 3 years she said she didn't want Santa to come to our house because he was a stranger =)

Anyhow, because I believe Santa originated and represents the spirit of Christmas - peace, love, generosity and kindness, I told my LO, he's real if you believe in the spirit of Christmas. I told my daughter that the original Santa passed many years ago, but his spirit lives on in many people who practice what he represents. And yes, Mommy and Daddy are Santa's helpers and that's why we deliver the presents. I believe that it address her question of "is he real" and "why do we (Mom/Dad) do the presents."

=)

I haven't told them. When my eight year old said "I know Santa isn't real. It is just parents who buy presents." his 11 year old brother said "Shut up! Don't you know that Santa doesn't bring you a present if you don' believe in him?". I'm pretty sure that they believe that Santa is a fun, pretend game, and that we should all play along. They both write letters to Santa, mostly so we can read their wish lists, then we mail them and Canada Post writes back on Santa's behalf.

Boy, kids corner you at the most random times. it is hard to know how to respond in the spur of the moment. I don't think you were wrong at all. Growing up, my mom never did Santa or EB or anything like that - not even the tooth fairy. I DID ruin santa for an entire kindergarten classroom, so maybe I am paying penance by letting my kiddos believe longer. :)

My 9 yo has asked/told me more than once. I always ask him, "what do you think?" He tells me what he thinks and why and I just tell him, "If that is what you believe, that is fine with me, but others (including your little brother) think something different and we need to respect what they believe."

I don't tell him, "yes" or "no" but I let him know that whatever he thinks is just fine with me. I am sure at some point they'll figure it out, but until then, I'll prolong the magic:)

Neither of my kids really asked, they just figured it out on their own. I remember my daughter (at age 6 or 7) scoffing at the whole idea of Santa-- some guy going all over the world in one night, squeezing down chimneys, etc.-- yet she still firmly believed in the Easter Bunny. As if some big bunny breaking into houses to deliver baskets was more plausible. Go figure!

When they're old enough to suspect and ask, they're old enough to know.

My son figured it out himself last year when he was five. We never made that big of a deal about it though, so there was probably less magic for him to believe in the first place. My daughter is 3 and, while she can identify Santa when she sees him, I don't think she really knows that he brings presents, lives in the north pole, etc. I'm not sure what she'll think next year or if we'll even try to pretend. Neither kid is getting a gift from Santa this year (though they are getting plenty from us).

I tell my kids, when they ask, that I believe in Santa...because I do. I know no one comes to my home with gifts, but I still believe. My oldest is 10 and this will be the first year she knows her dad and I bring the gifts. My 8 year old is on the verge, some days he does and other days he doesn't, and the 6 year old is 100% into Santa.

Hoenstly though, it is the spirit of the holiday. So can't your 9 year old still believe, but know that a man doesn't squeeze down your chimney with toys?

And your husband needs to realize they are growing up...stinks sometimes, but it happens.

We had the don't ask, don't tell, thing going. I knew they knew, but they weren't going to say anything! It would have been less magical.

If they had ask, point blank, I could not have lied. You did the right thing.
H is wrong. Don't lie to them and they will be less likely to lie to you.

I tend to answer this question with a return question - "What do you think?"
That does not always satisfy, but I have (so far) avoided confirming the absolute truth, although my 7 year old alternates between what she 'believes'. :)

I do agree with you. If they continue to ask, and want the truth, that is what they get. I don't make a big deal about all the creatures that have been invented for the different holidays. When asked directly why the creatures 'exist' I explain that they make good stories. Which, since I use the same explanation for monsters, ghosts, Easter bunny, etc. they understand. :)

When my younger siblings (who I essentially raised... Especially the youngest 3, the youngest of which is now 6 and still currently believes.) asked me about it, I told them the truth.

However, I also looked up information on the original St. Nick, and told them about how he tradition started. I also went on to explain how Santa represents the spirit of Christmas, and that it's fun to pretend in the magic of it. The siblings I used this method with were satisfied with the answer, and after that enjoyed playing along to keep he magic real for the younger siblings.

I would NEVER lie to my child if he asked me point blank like that. You did the right thing. You're building a relationship and trust for the future when he comes to you for more serious answers later.

I found out at 8. A cousin told me, and I went to my mom and said "Mom, we need to talk". I took her into another room, closed the door, sat her down and said "__ says there's no Santa and it's you. Is this true?" She told me the truth, told me where the stories of Santa came from, but asked me not to mess it up for my little brother. I was fine with that. It actually made me feel a little soft spot in my heart later for dad when he went out late at night in the freezing rain to ring the bells and say "ho ho ho, merry Christmas" like he did every year, lol. It also helped me be more thankful to them for the gifts I got.
My son: I am not certain my oldest ever "truly" believed in Santa. He thought of him as a nice old man who gives candy canes, he wrote and received correspondances to/from Santa (including a thank you note, after Christmas, lol), we rode the North Pole Express and visited Santa, read books that included him, but he always had questions. I never flat lied to him though. I'd say "well the story goes...." to answer his questions. Our focus was always more our own take of our religion and what we as a family are celebrating, the other stuff was just extra and fun. When he was 6 he was staring at the Christmas pictures we'd taken over the years and said "You know, all these Santas are different". I answered with "Well, YOU look different in all these pictures too!" He just smiled and said "Mom? Is Santa REAL?" I told him where the story of Santa came from, and how it factors in with what we're doing now for Christmas, and that what he represents is real and makes this holiday special and we love to play Santa, but the person that actually puts gifts under the tree is "us" (parents). I told him that he had graduated with this special, secret knowledge though, and if he was to know such things, he was now charged with being an elf and being Santa's helper (my helper). To help me, he must help keep the story and game going for his little brother, and he can help me pick out gifts for his brother and other children we buy for. He loves that--he's part of the game now. And of course, he also loves getting gifts which hasn't/won't changed. He knows we play this and do this because we love him. He's fine with it. My youngest, Victor, believes more. But then, he takes his cues from his big brother. We do all the same things, but he believes in Santa. (Though again, we always answer questions with "the story goes..." because that way they can look back and know we never lied to them, it was just a story and game we played for the holiday, but it is a part in a bigger picture of a wonderful holiday that often brings out the best in people.

I agree with not lying to him. We have Santa here, but my 7 year old is dropping hints that he knows, but then back tracks and wants to believe. I am letting him believe. If he asked what your son asked, I would tell him the same thing you did.

You can also make it not so much of a lie by saying Santa is in all of us when we give and do kind things.

Same as you, when they asked me directly. I could play it off before then as the magic of the season or whatnot, but when asked directly if he was real or if it was their father and I, I could not out right lie to them.

You did the right thing,. He asked “please tell me the truth, I’m 9 now”. You had to tell him the truth. He used his manners.

There was no other choice,..

Usually children figure out the Santa thing around 3rd grade, so this falls right in there.

My mom allowed me to help with the whole Santa thing for my younger sister. I felt so grown up, figuring it out and being able to help keep the magic going..

Include your son.. Maybe he can Santa his father! Keep it between the 2 of you and dad will wonder what on earth is going on?

I don't tell them until they truly figure it out on their own.
My parents did the same for us.

We are Jewish so DS has always known there is no Santa. He also has always known not to share this with his friends. So I infer from this question that there are children out there that are the age where they do(or should) already know about sex and they still believe in Santa. Does that not strike anyone as odd?

When my son says "is there really a Santa", etc. I just ask "so, what do you think?" and leave it to him.

My guess is that if other parts of their lives are relatively secure, finding out that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy etc. aren't real shouldn't be a huge earthshattering revelation. It's about the fun of the holidays. I suspect that my son is on to us, but doesn't want to miss out on the goodies. He does know that Mom and Dad play Santa for each other, though.

I think 9 is pretty old to still believe in Santa, it's kinda the end of the line... he needed to know :)

My oldest daughter is 6 and I realized this year could be the last real year of belief for her! Maybe we have another year or two left, we'll see.

It's kind of fun to be in on the secret too, so I don't think the realization is as devastating to kids as some people think. Maybe your husband has issues he hasn't worked through yet about his own Santa experience growing up ;)

I know my sister is still bitter that my parents waited too long to tell her and she was the only one left in her class still not hip to the real deal. I think my parents gave it up a little too early for me, I was only 5 and apparently "asking too many questions", I swear they could've kept me going at least another year! I remember my mom pulling me into the laundry room for a private chat... probably because my older sister was still a staunch believer at age 10 or whatever! ha!

My kids are 8, 6 and 2 1/2 and they all still believe in Santa. They've come home from school telling me that so and so from school said Santa isn't real and my response is either to ask them what they think or to say, "Oh no, Little Billy must be on the naughty list..." ;)