I don't want to give a lot of details because it would sound as complicated and convoluted as it really is. In a nutshell, someone keeps making very public attacks on me. It's been happening for a long time and because it's involving the internet and I don't know who it is, I've ignored it as much as humanly possible for years. Recently, this un-named person has launched another attack against me in a public arena again. The things they are saying are libelous, unfactual, and just plain wrong. I don't actually know if the person really believes their lies making it sort of an accidental attack, or if they are just lying for some other alterior motives.
What bothers me so much about this is that what they are saying is harmful towards me psycological and business wise. I know for a fact that what they are doing is illegal and has often risen to criminal harrassment levels. If I wanted to I could keep records from this point forward and I could get an attorney to subpeona the records of the online company they are using to malign me. I could file charges against them in both criminal and civil court. I just don't want to go down that road. This person swears they have proof of their baseless attacks. I know they don't because they can't. If they think they have ever received anything hateful from me it's been forged and I know there are people online that know how to do that.
My question is not what I should do as much as how long would you turn the other cheek? How long would you let this go on? This has been going on off and on for I think about 3 years. I pray and pray and pray for these people just like the Bible tells me to. I just don't know how long I can keep allowing it to continue.
Did I say that this has all been done anonymously? I don't believe in behaving that way. If I have something to say I am going to say it right out with my real name attatched. These people or this person...see I don't even know if it's just one....has always hid behind the computer. I think I should be above this. I should just ignore it...shouldn't I?
Well the person that is stalking me seemed to have gotten the message that they better tone down the amount of info they put in their attacks against me, but they still haven't stopped accusing me of posting stuff that I have NOT posted. I even saw one person go on that site and take credit for posting the stuff in question and this person told them that they were accusing the wrong person and that she/he doesn't know me. Well that makes 2 of us and the person posted anonymously too. So that didn't really help much because I could have posted anonymously and this person would and probably has jumped all over it. I haven't had the desire to read their garbage this morning. I usually don't read it, only skim it for the gist of it. Like a child trowing a tantrum, usually I just feel I should ignore them until it passes.
This person is a bully, plain and simple. I think I just had it yesterday. Part of me knows I should pursue this and find this person and follow the legal channels. Part of me wants to find them and shake the living day-lights out of them. But in the end, all I would really do is call more attention to myself. I've had no real reduction in my business that I could measure and it IS TRUE as one of you pointed out that proving defamation of character is REALLY hard. It's the harrassment that would probably be really easy to prove IF I had kept records. I never kept the records up til now. I will be watching for any blatant usage of my name or variations of my name in print and will start printing it out. I am also going to make a couple of appointments with some criminal attorneys and find out exactly what I need to do to file harrassment charges. That way I will be armed if I just can't take it anymore. I was talking with a man yesterday who's son is a prosecuting attorney. We ran into each other in McDonald's. He was telling me that most any lawyer will give us at least 15 minutes and point us in the right direction before they would charge me anything. Thanks for clarifying for me that I really have done the wrong thing in letting it go this long. But the painful truth is I gave them such a free pass I can't prove my case yet.
I would have already taken legal action. it is harrassment and slander. I say you have waited way to long. also print out anything sent to you. cause they can find out who and where it is coming from based on the ip address. you need to take action this behavior is unacceptable especially with you being a daycare provider.
NO WAY!!! if you have been dealing with this for three years I think its time you take the next step before this escalates even further. You should not be putting yourself in this position any longer...take action and get a lawyer to see what your options are!!
S.
Contact the police. Print the slanderous info on you and present it. File a complaint. You don't need
a lawyer to do this. Prayer won't stop someone in psychosis...or a person who chooses to act on it. IP addresses are traceable. This matter should not be taken lightly. Take care...
suzi, i haven't read any other responses but i just want to put down my thoughts as they are coming to me. as quickly as possible - my husband had an online "stalker" for several years, well she got tired of dealing with him and moved on to me - basically trying to threaten my relationship with him and make me feel insecure by insinuating there was something between them (i know fully well there wasn't, for several reasons). she would call at 2 am, email me, etc. really trying to get my goat. point is, she STILL emails me occasionally, sends friend requests...it never ended until i ignored it. literally. EVERY time i responded, she fed off it. it kind of sounds like this is a chatroom type situation - i could be wrong, but if it is, is there a way for you, and some other of the people involved, to ignore this person? is there a room monitor you can report them to? also, i would google it - maybe there is another option besides legal action. or maybe just letting that person think you are taking legal action would stop it. i don't know. other than these 'stalling' tactics, i think realistically your only option might be legal action. have you tried just plain old calling the police? i think a lot of cities have cyber-crime units nowdays...at least they might be able to tell you the options. just my random thoughts...i know how invading and personal these attacks can be. i hope you find your solution.
(okay i went back and read some other responses - definitely pray for them suzi - but stand up for yourself. and don't forget to document, document document!)
Just because the Bible tells you to pray for your enemies and those who do you harm, doesn't mean that you should not be sticking up for yourself while praying for them. I would definately see what actions you can take and you can still pray for them while you're talking to attorneys. If you continue to turn the other cheek, then you're pretty much giving them the ok to screw with you!!
Absolutely do not ignore this. You could ultimately put yourself in danger. Get a lawyer now..
First for gods sake don't ever put your full name anywhere on the internet. For those that say they can get your IP address that actually depends on the platform you are using for discussion.
So far as slander and libel you must have no idea how hard that is to prove. More so the process is harder on you than the attacks.
I blog a lot. If someone goes after me and it happens a lot because I am very opinionated, I call them on it. I explain the behavior I am seeing, as if this is going to be an ongoing problem, then explain the steps I will take if it continues. I have actually never had anyone continue after that. You have to make sure your steps are such that you will follow through. If you say you are going to take it to the authorities you best be sure that is going to be an option. If they call you on it and you don't follow through it will get worse. I have seen too many people do this.
If this person is attacking you annonymously then they probably don't have much to base their slander on. I would find a lawyer and file suit. Do all the things you said you should do and do them. You are being harrassed and that is not cool. Doesn't matter how you are being harrassed, just the fact that you are. Please take action now, this could hurt you later on. Good luck and God Bless.
I just wanted to let you know that the situation you are describing is actually something that my husband and I have been dealing with for a little over a year now with his father's side of the family. I can only tell you that you are an amazingly strong person for holding it together for as long as you have. I have only had to deal with this type of personal attack for a year and I am falling apart inside. Your story and answers have helped me alot and I hope that you are able to find peace soon. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I am going to keep you in my prayers!
Hello Suzi,
Your situation is as scary as annoying and frustrating; just people with a life of idleness and/or envy do these things. It would be good you talk to an attorney or someone who has a good knowledge about these situations and follow the steps accordingly.
By the way, I am Catholic, but I am sure this situation you are going thru is absolutely nothing to do with the Bible, just act on it.
Good Luck!
Alejandra
