What to Do About Whining

i won't say it's a phase - it's a phase to try it out. how parents deal with it determines if it is a "phase", which comes and goes, or if it becomes routine. *shudder*....

my son gets nothing - literally, nothing - he wants by whining. never has.

if it's whinese, i can't understand it. he doesn't get attention, he doesn't get whatever he's asking for. the most he will get is a reminder, "you need to ask me like a big boy."

it's a habit that has been allowed. when you stop responding to it she will stop doing it. hang in there mama.

use simple communication to explain, "mommy can't hear you". teach her how to lower her voice and ask nicely. show her by example, multiple times if necessary. start it now and she will get it quickly.

It is a phase. What I always told mine is "I can't understand you when you whine. Please try again without the whine." They did and eventually came to understand that if they wanted an answer or just for me to listen, they had to speak, not whine.

Okay, this is probably 100% wrong and sounds awful, but it WORKS! I say, ":::gasp::: Do I hear whining?? Eeewww!! Want to hear how yucky it sounds??" Then I do a pretend whiney voice. She giggles and says, "EEWWW! That's yucky!" I laugh, suggest we talk like big girls and she stops. If she continues, I just tell her that I would be happy to hear what she has to say when she can talk like a big girl. We started that at about 2 years old - she just turned 4 and it's nearly a non-issue. When she whines now I just say, "Oops, do I hear whining?" and give her a little smile. Of course, she still gets tired and whines and then we know it's time for bed. Ha. It works for us. :)

Wow she started early. Usually the whining is closer to 4.

You need to be persistent in the way you handle it. Never give her what she asks when she whines, NEVER.

If she is asking for something, tell her " I cannot understand your whinnying voice."

She is tired and whining. " that whining voice sounds like a tired voice. Do you need a rest time, or can you use a regular voice?"

When it gets really bad, tell her to "go to her room and find her regular voice.!"

First of all, ignore it. If you go about your business consistently in a natural manner and she doesn't get her way she may decide it isn't worth it.

If that doesn't work start putting her in her room when she whines, tell her she may come out when she can talk calmly and tell you what she wants, and close the door. She can whine on her own but that rarely happens, whining isn't fun without an audience. She may not have the vocabulary yet or know how to put it all together, but she can point without whining.

Encourage her to "use your words and tell me what you want. I can't understand whining." And don't give in, ever.

Yes, it is a phase, but unless you do something to stop it she will grow to think that whining is acceptable. So, if you want a whining teenager do nothing, otherwise be consistent in letting her know you don't like it and that it won't get her what she wants.

It's just a phase.

But it'll be a twenty-year phase if you don't grab this opportunity to do a little teaching.

Sweet and patient beats angry. You can teach much better when you keep your cool and your sense of humor (see Corie's answer below). But you will need to develop ears that just don't hear whining - and say so. "My ears just shut down - use your words and your regular voice, please!"

And NEVER give your DD what she whines for, much less cries for. Consistency is so important in this!

It's also good to set her an example by not being whiny yourself. But you probably aren't anyhow. Whining is one of those toddler things that come up no matter what.

"I'm sorry, honey, I don't understand whine. If there is something you would like to ask me, please use your big girl words and voice." Then, ignore, ignore, ignore, until she uses her big girl words and voice. I know, easier said than done, but I warn you, this will happen periodically throughout childhood, and how you handle it now will depend on how she acts in the future. When I first met my SD she was 6 and a terrible whiner! She is 14 now, and still reverts back to that annoying habit occastionally. Good Luck!

As L. A. says if you pay attention to the whining and/or give her what she wants when she's whining she'll keep whining. You have to teach her to use her "big girl" voice. "I can't hear you when you whine. Use your big girl voice." And don't respond until she uses her "big girl" voice.

When you know the whining is because she's tired and/or hungry take care of that without giving in to the whining.

My daughter never stopped whining until she had children of her own. But, then, I didn't pay any attention to her tone of voice and didn't try to teach her to speak differently. I'm blessed or cursed with the ability to tune the whine out.

IGNORE IT!!! Seriously!!! If you feel you NEED to say anything, tell her you'll listen to her when she wants to use her words.

My son was never a whiner, thank God!! Then when my daughter came along, she tried it - she learned pretty fast that Mommy doesn't respond to her whining!! Same with a temper tantrum. It's amazing how fast they learn when you ignore them!! I would actually have to leave the room sometimes because I didn't want her to see me laughing - she would make faces and come up with body contortions that were absolutely ridiculous just to get my attention during her whining and temper tantrums!!!

Trust all of us on here when we say to nip it in the bud NOW or you'll regret it in the VERY near future!! Yes, it requires a lot of patience but it will all pay off.

Good luck!!!

Is she teething? My dd was VERY irritable when the teeth were coming in.

It's a phase that can be cut short by how you decide to respond to it all... otherwise let the whining go on.... it's just part of their "communication" if it works for them.

I feel your pain. My daughter has started to whine as well, although her whines are mostly non-verbal. She is 2.5 and can very easily tell me what she wants, but she just won't. I ignore her and tell her to "use her words." She tells me "no" and continues to whine for a while, but she does eventually stop. She is beginning to realize that she only gets what she wants from mommy when she tells mommy what it is. My biggest hurdle will be my husband. He is a whiner himself. I am trying very hard to break him of the habit, but it's not working. He has no self-awareness about the whining. He also will give into our daughter. Sigh.....

By the way, research has shown that a child's whining is more painful to human beings than listening to fingernails on a chalkboard. :)

I'm sorry I can't understand a whiny voice, when you're ready to speak kind I'll be able to understand you

Every single time they start to whine use a phrase similar to that one.
It is a phase but it all be a really long phase if you don't nip in the bud quick

Ditto Charliesmom. verbatim.

i think its a girl thing, my 4 year old DD is so bad about whining right now every time i tell her to do something or even if you just look at her! its driving me nuts... i hope she grows out of it and soon. good luck hope i can find some advice on this too :/

When my DD whines, I tell her with a straight face that I don't understand whine. And I tell her that over and over and over, been doing it for months. She does immediately correct herself and it happens less and less as time goes by. Just one of those be patient and consistent parent things.