What's Having 3 Kids Like?

In a nutshell, you go from a man-to-man defense to a zone when you have your third. Somebody will be left out, there are only 2 grownups in the house. There's also the car issue, some cars can't fit 3 carseats in the back, so you have to have a bigger vehicle. There's also the vacation factor, with 3 kids you might not be able to get a regular hotel room and might have to get a suite.

I have 4 and my first 3 were very close in age and it was VERY hard. Now that they are older, it's good that they are so close in age since they go through the same stuff, like the same kind of video games, etc.

As far as getting slim, it took me about 4 years to get my body back after the 3rd one.

I don't have any family in the area to help me, so driving and going to sports events can kind of be tricky as well as doing stuff at school. You don't say how older your other kids are which to me is a big part of the decision. Maybe you don't have to worry about the carseat thing, maybe you have a built in babysitter with another sibling, both of those would help.

But if you are concerned about the amount of attention your kids get, you want to think about it because there will be 3 of them and only 2 adults.

M.

2 moms found this helpful

I hear you Nancy M! Mine are 4, 3 and 9m. The days go by fast. This is a long one..............

I guess my first thought...can you afford a third? Financially (future, educ, medical prob for kids, you or your hubby, schools, toys, cloths, time off, family help, family structure, etc)? No one can every afford a child or can "be ready" but after having two you have a better idea of the financial, emotional and time costs.

Are you ready to wake-up 3-4 times a night, not see your hubby, go through teething and transporting all the baby stuff when you leave the house? Can you handle a baby not napping b/c #3 has to follow the older children's schedule.

I thought going from one to two was more hectic then 2-3. You have less time with three and have more schedules to manage, but you know what to expect and that it will change soon and how to prepare.

I would love a fourth, but my hubby says no. We have 3 beautiful healthy children and I am grateful for and have the time and health to enjoy their childhood with them. It is a great gift to share you life with children. I have to honestly admit that I am less patient with #3 then the first two and believe it would lessen with a fourth (for me anyway).

Here are two scenerios that fit my day: Can you see yourself, as well as your hubby and other kids in both scenerios?

After waking up at midnight and 5am the baby wants to stay up and play while the other two sleep. The baby makes it to 6:30 and starts crying because he is still tired. As you rock him in the nursery the 3 wakes up and cries because he wants you to come get him and this wakes up the 4 who trips as he is going down the stairs and is now crying for you, as the baby is falling asleep in your arms..... AND

The baby is waking up from a nap as the 3 and 4 year olds are sitting at the table coloring their favorite Word World characters, laughing together at the jokes from the show, discussing their favorites and the 4 hands the 3 the red b/c it's his favorite color and 3 says thanks! and as they hear the baby wakening they run upstairs together to see him and stand on the stool to peak in the crib. Baby smiles overjoyed to see them, coos at them and they start asking 'how was your nap? good job on your nap! Let's go play baby'

Some how BOTH of these scenerios fit my everyday.
Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi,

I have two but would have three in a heartbeat if I could...I lost my ability to have kids because of medical reasons. I thank my lucky stars for the two healthy babies I do have, but I totally envy you for being able to do it! Yes, all the things the other post said were true about starting over etc and she's doing it alone (my hat goes off to her!) but why not if you can? It will be tons of extra work now, but a lifetime of a larger family and a huge gift to your others - another sibling. There are as many pros as cons - if you want another baby - go for it!

1 mom found this helpful

2 kids is nice and easy....
My oldest is 16, so the three youngest take most...all of my time and attention.
The body did not go back after the third or the fourth...
You will be starting over again, 2 more years of sleepless nights, diapers and sore nipples. 3 carseats do not fit in the back of an suv or a car...you will be mini vanning it!

I am in my mid thirties too, only doing it all on my own with no hubby. So, my view is a bit tainted. It is hard to have 3 children under 10. 2 was so nice and mellow. At two I did not feel over extended and exhausted at all times.
I love all my children dearly and wouldn't trade them for anything, but...
Life Was Easier With 2!

1 mom found this helpful

I love, love, love having 3!! My third little boy has added so much to our family. I always planned on 3 children but now I almost consider 4 since he is such a sweet, laid back and mild mannered little guy. I came from a family of 3 and I loved it as well. I was the middle child and never felt the "middle child syndrome." Sure it is a bit more juggling but it is so worth it to see the older two interact with him! Good luck with your decision!

1 mom found this helpful

I went from 1 to 3, since I had twins. For me it was hectic, but you manage. People would always ask me "How do you do it?" And I just thought, this is what God gave you, and you just do it. Now of course, I did not plan for 3, but I would not change it for anything.

I think more people regret not having more kids, so do what is in your heart, and you will survive it.

I have 3! Mine are 5, 3 and 1. Three wasn't the "plan" but I can't imagine not having three. Honestly, it wasn't as difficult as I imagined it to be. It does help that he is a very easy going baby and just goes with the flow...I am actually told by many other mom's of 3 that their third was the same way. And really...am now almost open to having a 4th!
As for getting slim...I am amazed at how much weight I have lost not doing much..I am definitely busier and chasing after three keeps me moving.
Good luck with your decision!

You didnt post how old your 2 kids are!!! I am 36 and have a soon to be 19 yr old girl in college at UIC...then my son will be 5 in may, daughter is 3 1/2 & daughter 2 in may. My days are a whirlwind. I used to be extremely neat & clean, my husband says to a fault. My husband works a lot. I can barely get a shower in. I dont have any family around here, but I found a couple other moms w/kids the same age so we try to get together once a week. I do mini fieldtrips to target, pet store, old mcdonalds (lol), etc. I take them to restaurants by myself like Olive Garden, Chilis, etc. People always come to me & say that my kids are very well behaved & they wouldnt have gone out by themselves with kids that young. My kids are eachothers best friends & I teach them that family is the most important thing ever. Although it is never quiet til 8pm, I wouldnt change a thing, and yes it is the BIGGEST handful going from 2 to 3. I used to be 5'1 & 105 & now I am having one hell of a time losing the last 15 pounds & but I cant blame it all on the pregnancy because I developed a medical condition that is not allowing me to lose the weight.

Go for it & enjoy the biggest blessing you can ever get.

It was so great to read these responses...we just added #3 last week. My kids are 3 1/2, 2 and 1 week old. So far it has gone well. My oldest are so excited to have a little sister...they want to hold her, feed her, and are very helpful. They go off and play together (and fight over toys constantly b/c mommy is "busy" with the baby), but overall the transition from 2 to 3 has been pretty good.

The hardest part for me right now is the lack of sleep and getting up early. Like another poster said...The baby finally goes to sleep around 6:00 and the other kids are up at 6:30. There isn't much time to nap so by the time the older kids go to bed at night I'm ready too.
Depending on the ages of your children now, going out may be a little tough. We went to the store today (Thankfully my mom came too) and the middle child (who will be 2 in a few days) was having a hard time listening and not running around the store. It was tough to watch the 2 older ones walking while trying to get the shopping done, but it can be done.
I feel like in the short term it may be a little difficult to be outnumbered (3 kids vs 2 parents), hard with the lack of sleep, and a little overwhelming with all the work that comes with a new baby (the laundry, the constant feeding, etc.) when your are used to the routine you have now. In the long run it will be FANTASTIC!
The poster who gave 2 situations hit the nail on the head...there will be good days, times, etc. as well as tough ones. As far as getting your figure back...I'll let you know in a few months (or years) :)

Good Luck with your decision!

Thnk all the previous posters have great answers. I have 3 and love it (though my hub and i joke that we "stopped at 2"), am SAHM, very busy w/ 3, different than just 2 (thought it woudln't be so bad, but their ages are almost 5, just turned 3 and 7 mos, ALWAYS busy here). Except for now (baby sleeping, 4yo playing, 3yo at speech school, ahhh). SO, i think it depends on what the ages of your kids are now, 3 so young are a real handful, but like another poster said, when they get older it's easier, so that's the bright side. All people are different. What i am coming to find w/ the 3 kids is, parenting is a hard job, i am also finding that i'm so glad we have another sweet baby in the house, and to see how he's shaping up, what kind of person he will be, how happy he is... i would say have that 3rd, it's really worth all the time you invest.

Hi O.,
My husband and I have 3 kids (10, 8 & 3) and I can't remember what it was like to have just two! When we first had the baby it had been a while so it took a bit to get back in the swing of things and we were late getting places because we forgot how long it takes to get ready (there is also the extra person who needs help with a lot of stuff!) All of my children have such different personalities that it is fun to see what will happen. As far as your body, I think it is like all the other times, it will take work but no big deal (I actually did it faster and better with the 3rd).
So I guess I'm saying I found it no big deal! Best Wishes to your family!

If you have three, I'm guessing you will have that motivation to get back to the size, previous to three - or even smaller! You're running after more kids!

Like the previous post, I have two but would have done three in a heartbeat! Just wasn't in God's plan. I started having kids at the point that you are considering closing that door. (certainly - that is not a bad thing if you choose to remain at two!) I was from a family of three girls. Yes, there was sibling rivalry and my mom always said that "someday, we would all be the same age" which I never understood until I became an adult. (and yet... I can still boast that I am the youngest!) I truly love having two sisters. I understand the part about parents feeling outnumbered. Personally, if you have a great spouse, the support, the desire to expand AND the two "other" sets of hands... you'll never have to look back at this moment and wonder, "what if?"

My children are each other's best friends, and yet, I believe that, one more in the mix would have been exciting. It's funny because I have one child who believes our family size is perfect and the other would occasionally ask me if there was ever a chance that it would get bigger.

Good luck and peace with whatever decision you make.