What ONE Thing Would Change Your Marriage (Relationship) for the Better?

Honestly, we have O. of those great marriages =)

I wouldn't change anything about "him" only his situation. My O. wish that would help us back to the perfect happiness we had is if he could find a job that he felt he could do and provide as he used to.

If my husband and I had a hobby or an sports activity that we could do together and be evenly matched at.

Better (or any) communication and honesty would greatly immediately profoundly change the whole tone of my marriage. If we had more truth and better communication, that would improve the trust. SO ok I need 3 things pronto - but in the end, aren't they all 1 in the same thing anyway?

Honesty
Trust
Communication

Well, I don't want to come off like I'm shallow and only into looks, but I really, really wish my husband weren't so overweight. His dad has heart problems, his mom has diabetes and my husband is heading in the same direction. I stress about it a lot. He works hard, but it's sitting at a desk, no movement. In his downtime, he sits at his computer or watches TV. He eats healthy food, but only because I prepare it and put it in front of him. When left to his own devices, he chooses McDonalds and cheesesteaks and buffalo wings, so I micromanage his diet too much to avoid that scenario. Logically he *knows* he's at risk for all sorts of problems, but when it comes time to make a choice between sending off O. more email or getting off his a$$ and onto the elliptical machine, the email ALWAYS wins. If something happens to him and he is no longer here...well, I can't even go there without my heart fluttering in a bit of panic. Not so much financially, although things would definitely change, but I'd lose the love of my life, kids would lose an awesome dad, it would just be devastating. So, if he could just get healthier and lose that extra weight around his belly (and yes, it's that dangerous fat, not just some extra flab, it's the actual kind that's been linked to all the diseases), it would help me manage my stress levels and I think our relationship would get better (plus, he'd be HOT and who know what'll happen to our sex life THEN!!)

I wish my hubby would do what he says he will do (sure, I'll paint the bathroom this weekend). That was 2 years ago.

well, this is a little late for me since our 11 year relationship just ended...but I would easily say with no hesitation...more affection!!!

I wish wish WISH my husband would pray with me or actually study the Bible with me.

Personally money is nice but we were happiest when we were living under the poverty line and had 200 to feed a family of 4 every month (we never took gov. aid... we could have but didn't). Communication is nice but I have found DOING to be better than talking with a man. Men shut down with words, but if you do an activity together... well that is when the talking actually happens.

A better paying job. It's tough scrimping every week and puts undue stress on relationships.

No-no... I only get O.??? Darn. Well I'm going to cheat a little.

EITHER honesty or humor.

If my husband had been started being honest with me at ANY point in our marriage we'd either be quite happy together, or quite happy separately. ((He's sloooowly starting to be honest with me now, but I don't know if it's for good or a temporary thing)). INSTEAD he only ever told me what he thought *I* wanted to hear, so I never really got the chance to know him/ his desires/ dreams. Instead, what I was given to 'work with' was a total lie. The man who was *absolutely adamant* that x, y, and z were what he wanted for his life and from it, come to find, wants completely different things. But in order to "keep" me, or not "look bad" (to society/ strangers/ etc... which I don't care about at ALL, but he finds the opinion of strangers more important than anything else, come to find) he has out and out lied about EVERY aspect of what he really wants in and out of life. Intentionally. ((To take a NON emotionally charged example: He has said, from the moment he met me, that he really wants a house. I never particularly did... but felt it was an issue I could compromise on....and so this dream of HIS so we worked hard to fulfill for years... including me knowing I'd have to put my education on hold for 2-3 years after buying it. Come to find, no. He never wanted a house. He thought a woman *should* want a house, and I must be lying to him about loving traveling, so to give me what I "really" wanted <rolls eyes>... he insisted on buying a house. So we bought a house. When what HE really wants is a condo in the city. Which I could have compromised on, as well, but now having a house means a MIN of 3 more years in it, and preferably 5 if we really want to fix it up.))

HUMOR... IF the man could laugh, could see that we're not always "F'd", that every little bump isn't the end of the world. If he EVER laughed at a problem and tackled it, instead of yelling/swearing/hitting things (for *every* problem, from the super minor... need to screw in a hinge so it doesn't squeak, to major problems, like losing income). But NOTHING is every "happy" for him, or funny. Everything (literally everything over the past few years) is a personal affront on him, that demands a towering rage in response. I am so EXHAUSTED dealing with this man's rage I cannot even express it.

Going back to the money we used to make so we can turn our "staycations" back to vacations!

O. thing I would change is that my hubby would be healthy!!
The last couple of years has been very h*** o* all of us, especially hubby. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, it's just been very difficult. It will be nice when he has his energy back, his HA's are gone, the fatigue goes away, and the hormones/testosterone are all in check. He SO deserves to feel "good"!!!
I know it's nothing I have control over.....but it is my ultimate wish!

1) Cash
2) Communication

In that order.

:)

I wish I wasnt a nag :) and that I can learn things can be done diiferent than "my way".

Spending more time alone together. My husband works so much and on weekends. I spend a lot of time missing him =-)

If my Husband put as much effort in helping me around the house as he does at work :)

The ability to stay home and pay for my husband's paycheck to be consistent. Budget money better and more 1:1 time with eachother.

teamwork and common goals as opposed to selfishness

Honestly, I am loving my life and my relationship (we are not married yet but been happily 'playing house' for 6yrs) the only thing that would make our LIVES not our relationship easier, not better would be living in our own space again we have been in his parent's basement for nearly a year now. But yeah, we are HAPPY and we do not work on our relationship the same way many do. Call me the captain of La La Land if you will but my relationship at this time does not need work.

More appreciation for ALL that the Wife/Mom does.

I would like it if ANY little thing I addressed EVER changed. Like. For instance. Leaving the gas tank empty all the time (we share a car) and only putting in a couple of drops to get home with, so that when I get in the car late for an appointment in the morning with all the kids and start the engine BEEEEEEP!!!! (And the chorus form the back) "We're out of gas!"
I mean for god sakes. For about 10 years I have gone over and over and over and over the reasons why it's better to keep gas in the car rather than to drive around on fumes. It's not like we'll waste the gas if we have some left over when he gets home. I ALWAYS fill the tank if it's anywhere near the last quarter, but when he's home (which is rare) THERE GOES ALL THE GAS. I tried, Lord did I try to finally just say, "Look, call it my problem, I accept responsibility for being "high maintenance", but for ME, the love of your life, can you PLEASE not park the car empty. If it's empty, please go fill it before returning home." BUT NOOOOOOOO. HE WON'T DO IT.
Just yesterday, he took the family on a mad cap adventure to Target (20 miles) and back on empty and refused to stop for gas first, so the whole time, I had my eye on the empty gage in terror. He actually took a wrong turn on the way home, which made it necessary to stop at a different pump for $3 worth so we could make it back to the pump where we get our "gas points" -which we had passed right by (purposely) on the way to Target stating how many miles we should be able to go still on the last few drops. grrrrrrr.
And ya, he goes to get the smallest pack of diapers and O. or two rolls of toilet paper when we're out of those too. And no, he doesn't refill the Brita pitcher when it's empty.
aaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Believe me there are much bigger things than this, huge tax debt from corrupt accounting for his band in 2005 that we'll never shake, constant travel, honesty, you name it, but I'd settle for the small stuff. Like not rearranging everything when he stops home for 2 days out of the year so I cant' cook a meal when he leaves because he's hidden the pizza pans....:(

I would have waited longer to get married. Learn more about ourselves and what we need. We love each other, but we have very different interests and personalities. We need to work on us constantly because when we feel like we're losing that loving feeling- that's all we have. its a scary feeling.

Having more fun instead of worrying about things so much!

I'm with Theresa N.:

1. Cash
2. Communication

I know that if those 2 things were dealt with permanently, there would be little, if any complaints on either side.

Working less hours for the both of us.

That's an easy O.! Our marriage would be PERFECT if he only wanted/needed sex once a month :) Other than that...I wouldn't change a thing!

Moving back east. I get homesick sometimes which in turn makes my husband feel bad.

This O. is totally flippin' easy for me...
His job.
He's gone most days 5:30am - 8:30 pm.
He commutes 100+ miles each day.
He isn't making the money he used to.
Either he deprives his body of sleep to spend time with us when he gets home, OR he instantly falls alseep the moment his rests his head.
He has been in the automotive field for nearly 19 years, what keeps him at a paticular job is when he makes tons of cash....this year was dissapointing for him. The commute isn't worth it anymore, the lack of sleep is getting to him, he misses me and our daughter, the list goes on.
Anyway to see him happier about his job, and not stress as much, would make me happier. =)

If we could relocate, I believe that it would improve our marriage. We grew up where we live and having a change of pace would do both of us some good. We both like warm weather and we live in a city where it's extremely cold. I really believe in my heart that this change would increase our happiness factor....

Electronics! My husband is a great guy, and a great dad, but if it weren't for his cell phone, PSP, xbox, and laptop, the 3 of us would get a lot more of him, and his time. He is a computer geek through and through, and is extremely intelligent. But I would love if he would lessen the use of things that entertain him!

Hmm...I wish that he would take more innitiative. He will do almost anything that needs to be done if asked, but sometimes I just wish he would just do things without me having to ask. Like, replacing the paper towel roll or picking up the bar when people are coming over.

More money!!
Only on the basis that we would have more holidays,materials goods etc.
B. k

hmm, O. thing is tough, but I would have to say better communication between my husband and our 3 children ( who are 16,13 and 8). He complains about how little they do around the house and lask of appreciation for everything they have and all that we do for them (esp our 13 year old dd), and the kids complain that daddy is cranky too often. They both have valid points but I get tired of being the go-between!

If I marry again, it would have to be no outside interference, and nipping problems when they take root.

If I could get rid of all the electronics in the house. Really. The TV in the bedroom that has hours of shows DVR'd that have to be watched, in bed, as soon as he gets home, all while he plays games on the Ipad.

Then again, that would probably NOT change things for the better because then he would always be in a bad mood and boy do I feed off of his bad moods ten times worse!!!

money- all we ever argue about is money. Whenever we have enough we get along famously, when we are low we bicker, and stress.

GREAT QUESTION!! I love my husband, but I would like us to have separate bedrooms! Maybe it would create a little excitement if he came to my room or vice-versa for rendezvous.

I am very happily married, so this is hard. The only thing we struggle with are finances. I wish he had more clients. To get more clients, he needs to advertise more. I wish he advertised more- I remind him of this frequently. that's the only thing.

Actually knowing that is the ONLY thing I could come up with, makes me happier. LOL.

Everything haha. If he would stop being possessive, paranoid, help me out more with our son, stop asking for sex almost everyday esp when ive been up all night with our son, etc etc I could go on and on

Money, money, money... That's always the problem. I have to say that I think money CAN buy happiness!!! To an extent... I mean, we love each other, so that helps. Let's just say, money could buy US happiness! :)