What Do You Do When Someone Who Grows Close to You Is Saying Goodbye?

H.,

I'm confused. Your first post stated you had NO FRIENDS. Now you have a really close one?

I'm a military brat. I wish we had had social media and cell phones when I was moving every 3 years. What do you do now? You facetime. You write e-mails. You connect on social media - twitter, facebook, snapchat, etc.

You WILL cope because this is life. You will breathe and you will get through it. You can put a memory book together for him before he leaves - pictures of the two of you, memories you share, etc.

This is NOT a forever Good-bye. This is a farewell. Safe travels. Looking forward to seeing you on facetime! Congratulations to your dad!

It sucks but what can you do? Opportunity to meet new people and to keep your friendship alive, you stay in contact (Facetime, etc.) and you plan to see each other on trips if possible. He might come back to visit friends and family.

H.,
It's hard when a good friend moves away. Please enjoy him as much as you can right now. The great thing is, you have FaceTime, Skype and all kinds of avenues to stay in touch.

We travel extensively and my daughter uses FaceTime all the time. She stays connected to her friends and I love to hear them chatting and laughing together.

Don't feel like this is "goodbye". It's another chapter of your friendship.

yeah, that sucks. when i was a young mother i had a bestie two doors down. we raised our kids together, got part time jobs together, rode horses together when we could sneak away, popped in and out of each other's kitchens to borrow stuff, laughed and cried and made diabolical plots together.
my heart broke when they moved. it was months before i could look at their house without tearing up.
it's a literal grief situation, and you treat it like grief, one day at a time, and allow yourself to move through the process at your own pace.
at least you have the huge, huge advantage of technology and social media today. it's not the same as being there, but it sure does help to be able to see each other and chat whenever you want.
hang in there. it's hard, and will be difficult, but you'll get through it, and you'll probably find your friendship grows even stronger.
khairete
S.

You wish them well on their new adventure and then email/skype when you can to stay in touch.
Be excited for them and try not to feel sorry for yourself.
You and he will both be making new friends but you can still be long distance friends.

Like Lori said, things like Facetime and Skype can make staying in touch a lot easier and a lot more personal than a regular phone call, letters, or email. You can also text or chat online a little bit each day to catch up and just say hi.

All that said, you also need to each take the opportunity to meet new people. Understand that he may not always respond to calls/texts right away, as he might be trying to form new relationships. It doesn't mean he's forgetting about you or doesn't care, but it just means he's trying to get comfortable in his new town. You should work to meet some new people as well. You may not fully fill the hole that he leaves in your heart, but you will feel better if you go out with friends and enjoy being a teenager.

Before he goes, try to make plans to visit him over spring break or summer vacation. You will feel better knowing when you are going to see him again. So make a plan and stick to it. Just make sure you both involve your parents in the planning so you don't find yourself disappointed later.

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. One of my closest friends moved away the week after we graduated high school and it was really hard, but we did keep in touch.

Hi H., good to hear back from you and that you managed to find such a special friend. I know what you're going through, as I moved to another country as a kid and had to leave all my friends behind. Most were too young and impatient to care to write letters and stay in touch as pen pals considering how slow the mail would arrive, and just moved on. These days though, there's incredible ways to keep in touch: texting, emailing, and my favorite, Skype. My daughter is able to keep in touch with family members and friends who live in other cities or states and still gets to see them via video and hear their voice.

When you are older, perhaps you and your friend can take turns visiting each other over the summer. Maybe even at this point, your parents would not mind sending you over to wherever his family lives during holidays or long weekends, if the plane fare is not too expensive. Try to view this as a future opportunity/excuse to travel, see new landscapes, and go away from home for even a few days. If he's not too far away, maybe once you get your driving licenses, you guys could meet up at a halfway point or take turns driving to visit each other, assuming the plane ride is not an option but your parents approve. There are also trains and buses that you both could take, if the drive is too far.

I did think that Wild Woman's idea of a memory book/scrapbook sounds like a great idea. It is thoughtful, will remind him of the special times and moments you spent together, and he can look back at the pictures of you two having a great time. In the meantime, rely on Skype, texting and emailing each other pictures and setting some time aside to talk on the phone. As others suggested, don't close yourself off to making other local friends too.

Just plan to stay in touch with him! And focus on making new friends like we discussed with your last posted question. (Also, tell the guy that you hope he will maintain the southern values that you mentioned are so important to you...especially if they are moving to a northern state, he might meet northern people and who knows what could happen then.)