My best friend informed me today that her husband has accepted a job in Seattle, which would take them back to where the majority of their family lives. This is why they have chosen to move. It is a good thing for them and I am happy for them. However, I am heartbroken and have been crying all afternoon. Our children ( boys age 6, girls age 4) are nearly the exact same ages and sexes. It has been a joy spending so much time together with them. My children will be heartbroken when they find out as well. How can I help them cope with their friends moving? Ideas? Any good books out there?
I also want to throw them a going away party. Any good themes, activities, party ideas, gifts ideas? Her husband will be moving the end of Oct. but she and the kids won't be moving until the winter break, so I have a little time to prepare. I can't stop crying except when I'm trying to really focus on something, so I figure the only way I can cope right now is to plan something. Any ideas would be helpful, preferably not expensive ideas like catering the food, since I'm on a limited budget. Thanks wonderful mamas!
NOTE: Sorry folks, in my daze I wasn't very clear. My friend is arranging her childrens goodbye's - our children will have the opportunity to say goodbye. I was just looking for helpful suggestions to help explain and cope with my childrens feelings at home as they are only 6 and 4. (I do love the portrait idea) Secondly, I'm looking to throw the farewell party for my friend. I will invite all our mutual friends and some of her former co-workers. I like the "Seattle" idea but can't think of what to do for it. May have to think of something else. Planning her party is the only way I can cope with the fact that she is leaving. Thanks for all the suggestions so far - mamapedia mammas are the best!
Not so much a party idea, but before my sons first best friend moved away we took them to Sears and had professional portraits done of the two boys together. We used a coupon, so it wasn't very expensive.
This happened to me when I was little. I had a best friend I met in K and she lived down the street from me. We were together CONSTANTLY, at school and at home. Anyway, my mom transferred and we moved when I was 9. We moved from Santa Barbara, CA to Orange County CA. My mom decided on the couple trips back and forth to not tell me that the one trip would be our last, she implied we were going back for more stuff, but we never did...I didn't get to say a "real" goodbye. Needless to say, it traumatized me. Luckily, they stayed in that house until her mom died (2 years ago) and I'm 45 now, so that was FORTY years ago. Anyway, I send her a letter and she wrote back. For the last 40 years, we have sent xmas cards with letters back and forth (like pen pals do) and now of course we are on Facebook so its easier to stay in touch. My advice is to let the kids feel their true feelings, its going to be very hard for them, even at their age. Not sure how all the skype things work, but maybe check into some kind of video chat so they can see and talk to each other often. Not sure about party plans, just have friends over like you normally would. Maybe get some kind of book that you can have everyone jot some memories down in and collect addresses? Not sure, but I just wanted to share my experience. Good luck!
When we moved from Iowa to Texas, we had a going away party for our 3 girls... they each got to invite several friends....
We had fun, played a few games.. (Pin the car on the Texas Map... see who could get us closest to Georgetown, TX), a pinata, goodies, stuff like that... we also got some cactus decorations from a store that had just had them up for some special... they let us have them, so that was a cute decoration for the party!
It wasn't intended for the guests to bring presents, but probably most of the kids did.....
I think it helped our kids to say a special good-bye to their friends. We were moving so far away, it wasn't like we could go back and visit easily... (a good 2 day drive!)
As far as a party... something "Seattle" or "Washington" themed..... not really sure what, though. As far as gifts? A few "gag" gifts for your friend would be cute... a supply of the cheap plastic ponchos, or a few extra umbrellas might be cute!
The less you make of it the better off everyone will be. Stop crying. They will pick up on your cues. It is a good time for your older one to write letters.
Kids are much more resilient than you think. Sad to say but two weeks after they are gone, your kids will barely notice. They will just move on to other kids at that age.
I love Malia's party suggestions
Just do snacks.. Popcorn, brownies, lemonade, chips and dips. Are you inviting adults? You could add wine and beer.
Or if you all enjoy a certain food.. Lasagna, salad, a cake..
I would encourage both families to write actual letters. It will help the children practice their penman ship and sentence writing.
Children love getting and sending mail.. also they can draw pictures.. etc.
You and your friend of course can keep up with each other online, maybe even schedule some family "skype" time with each other.
My best friend moved away when I was in third grade and for what it's worth, we're still friends 35+ years later. In fact, I just visited her out in Colorado this year. Stress to your kids that the fact that they're moving away doesn't mean their friendships will end. I kept in touch with my friend via mail and phone calls, because that's all we had back in the 70s. There is so much technology now you can add to the mix. Skype or Facetime, text, social media all make it easy for you and your kids to stay in touch. There's really no reason to lose contact.
Also, keep in mind that Seattle is a very quick flight from Northern CA. It shouldn't be too hard to coordinate a visit.
The best thing you can do is be upbeat for your kids. Explain how sad you are but do your very best acting job to stress that this isn't the end of their friendships. Share with them all the new ways they can keep in touch and how you'll use that, too, with your friends.
