Recently my 7 year old son started coming home from school talking about how kids tell him Santa isn't real. I keep assuring him not to listen to these other kids and believe in what he wants to. However I am worried if I continue to lie to him he will start to be bullied in school, but I also don't want to lose the fun of Christmas, what do I do?
Wait, what? He's not? But I have Santa in my Facebook newsfeed!!
Seriously, I do still believe in the magic of Chrostmas and I LOVE Santa. That said, I also love this blog post to help you out ....
http://letslassothemoon.com/2013/12/16/5-tips/
if you ask any of my kids (24, 23, 19 and 7) they will gladly tell you that Santa is real! If Santa wasn't real then how do they get a present from him every year. (Santa brings one of their "bigger" gifts)
Not sure I'm buying this question at this time of year.
Christmas is plenty of fun without believing in Santa, elves, and flying ungulates.
When they are old enough to question, they are old enough for answers.
And even after my kid knew Santa wasn't real, we still did stockings and one surprise gift under the tree. Only now she got to help me and her stepdad fill each other's stockings while we filled hers.
Your son is in school during the summer and they are talking about Santa in
August? Strange...
I found this online (maybe on here?) and have it saved for when my kids ask the same question!!
Dear So and So-
I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.
The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.
Daddy and I fill your stockings with present. We also choose the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her.
I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the Christmas magic stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.
This won’t make you Santa, though.
Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.
It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents, and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.
Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.
So, no, I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.
I love you and I always will.
Hmmm… m*********** and losing santa all in one week? yes, these are rather interesting first questions. I mean, how long has your son been back in school if he's been coming home from school talking about it? Sure there are a few schools where we are that went back to school last week, but most don't start until next week at the earliest….
Trip trap.
At seven, my son told me rather than asking me IF Santa existed and I thought about saying, oh that isn't true.. but instead I told him, ok Santa doesn't but what about the spirit of giving in general... I said, I think as far as Santa goes, maybe in some way he can represent the spirit of giving, and since giving can and is fun, then Christmas is fun... that is, if you look at it that way..
Also, you might be looking too far into the future and being irrational when you say things like, the kids will bully him.. tease is one thing, bully is another... has this happened before to other students who didn't fall in line with that others believed? In my opinion, kids are more easygoing than adults.. with adults, some will fight you tooth and nail to get their beliefs across, kids... although might be direct and tell you pointblank , NO santa does not exist..I consider that honesty, not bullying.. you may be trying to be a good parent and not rock your son's world, (I have done that myself) but on the other hand, you are trying to control something you have no control over.. and that is.. Santa does not exist..maybe by telling your son the truth, it would make Christmas less fun for you, rather than for him..
When I realized Santa didn't exist, which was early on.. Christmas was and is no less fun.. In fact, today, I still find that time of year fun and exciting..
You never tell him.
You let him figure it out and he can decide for himself.
i wish you were more worried about the erosion of trust between your child and yourself that lying determinedly will cause. i'm constantly taken aback at how easily and casually parents lie to their children, defend it as being 'white lies' and then are ever so horrified when their kids lie to them down the road.
'believe in what you want to' is a troublesome tack to take. do you really want him to take that philosophy and go wide with it?
there are all sorts of ways to 'break the news', from asking him leading questions and letting him get there himself, or being gently honest 'honey, it really is daddy and me. santa is so fun for little guys, and the spirit of christmas is alive and well and we all love it. but we're the ones who buy the presents' or the tried-and-true get help from your librarian.
kids making fun of the kids who believe in santa is a real worry. but it's not 'bullying.' and i promise you that christmas remains fun for kids, even though it's always a bit of bummer for a brief span. better now than during the christmas season, right?
khairete
S.
This is August and school just started...why is this coming up August, in the first few days of school??
Let's see. I'm coming up on 65and do very much believe. Sounds like it's time to read the editorial from like 1895 or around there. It's called "Yes Virginia, Their Is A Santa Claus."
Well, you can't really come out and tell him, when you've already told him that Santa is real. That breaks down the trust between the two of you. You need to take a moment when a child brings a matter like this to your attention, and take a breath before giving an answer. Probe more, ask him what he's heard, ask him what he thinks. Ask him why he thinks a story about Santa would evolve over many years if it weren't true, what purpose it serves - if he says "it's fun and it's magical", great. Ask him what would happen to Christmas fun if Santa weren't real. Maybe he'll see "nothing bad would happen." What about his other fantasy characters - does he believe in the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Leprechauns, knights slaying dragons? Ask how he would feel if Santa weren't real and kids told him so (as is happening), ask how he thinks other kids would feel if he burst their bubbles…just work through the options.
Then yes, read him "Yes Virginia…" and talk about the magic of beliefs and holidays and legends of all kinds. Talk about the reason why legends develop and how the magic isn't really gone if you can bring pleasure to others.
I just tell my son, well I believe in Santa! Or, I'd say, Santa is the spirit of giving! Of course Santa is real! He is 11 now, but I remember when he was 7 and came home from school saying the exact same thing. Now my son just gives me a big smile and goes along with it. My mom used to tell us, if you stop believing in Santa then he might not bring you any presents! I don't really recommend that one.
I'd wait until he figures it out on his own.
Tell him not to talk about it at school. That if other kids are talking about it just to keep quiet as people each believe what they want to believe in due to
different things such as religion.
Then I'd let it go at that.
He'll figure it out soon. It does ruin the magic of Christmas & he's still young.
Again, I'd emphasize not to discuss it at school at all. Telling him it's
personal & not everyone believes but he doesn't have to try & convince
anyone. Just believe it yourself & not chime in on any discussion. If anyone
asks him pointedly if he believes he can just shrug his shoulders & say "I
don't know".
IMO, be honest, ask "what do you think?" and let him figure it out on his own.
And when he realizes that it's not entirely true, then tell him that Santa exists in the hearts of people and does he want to choose a Giving Tree item for some child who has less than he does? I do that now. When my SD then about 10 or 11 said there was no Santa, I said, "I believe". I was wrapping a Giving Tree gift at the time and she got the point.
(Some schools are back in session...my friends' kids have been in class for a week now.)
http://www.biography.com/people/st-nicholas-204635
St. Nicholas was a real person and the story got bigger and changed in different countries. Why not explain who the real man was and how he would always help those in need.
We still practice the spirit of St Nick aka Santa, so why is that such a bad thing? The most joy at Christmas is helping or giving to those in need.
He'll waver through this Christmas and still believe in his heart but by next Christmas he'll have it figured out. You can't have to burst the bubble. He might come ask, point blank, and you can answer as much truth as you want to share.
