Was Told Its Not Normal, Are They Right?

Who told you that? That's just dumb. First of all not all kids have nice, involved grandparents. Second of all, not all grandparents are suitable to babysit young kids, like the very sickly/elderly, the mean/abusive ones, the alcoholics, etc.
I don't know who is telling you this but they sound pretty ignorant.

My kids are 6 and 8. They haven't yet. One set of grandparents lives a 1000 miles away. The other grandma lives less than a mile away. My kids have never asked to stay over. One sleep walks and I don't think I would be comfortable not being there. The other one often wakes up and can't go back to sleep easily. He would not do well if Mom or Dad weren't there if he woke up. There is no "normal". What other families do is not necessarily going to work for another.

Ya, I don't care what other's think. My daughter hasn't had many sleep overs and she is 10. I feel pretty normal.

I sometimes wish people would not listen to and ponder balderdash.

There's no 'normal'. You have to decide for yourself what your own reasons are for doing what you do. Our relatives all live far away; the closest is not interested at all in taking our son for an evening. We don't sweat it.

I'd say if you have never left the kids with safe adults for an evening, it would be good to look into why that is. Couples need time alone with each other. I'm looking forward to the time when we have an overnight sitter available again-- our very responsible sitters are all moved away to college or have their own children or other obligations now. Couples time is important to prioritize so really--- there's no 'normal', just make sure your choices are coming from a healthy place and not fear or anxiety.

That's stupid. Why are you listening to someone else's opinion of "normal." We have no grandparents anywhere near us, so no, our kids have never stayed with grandparents, and they're 11 and 13. Even if they were closer, my kids don't really enjoy sleepovers - they prefer their own beds. And why shouldn't they? I do, too. It's just nicer to be home.

Personally, I couldn't give a rat's behind what someone else thinks my kids should and shouldn't be doing. It's not their business.

There are no set rules for everyone. Each family does what is best for their family.

My daughter never had a sleepover at grandparents without me because we live a plane ticket away!! However she loved sleepovers and was participating in sleepovers with friends around age 5 and up. She's soon to be 21.

Do your children want to sleepover with grandparents? If so, think about options that work for your family.

Don't feel abnormal because you may feel differently about something.

Have a great Sunday!

I don't think it is normal to avoid it, like oh my god!! Junior can't spend a day or night away from me because they need ME!! only me! or worse that they actually have never experienced being watched by different people.

Still if you never had a reason for your child to spend the night then I wouldn't see any logic in calling this a missed milestone.

My kids were never bound to one person watching them, they were always comfortable with everyone yet they never spent the night at their grandparents because there was never a reason to.

Ya know what?
YOU get to decide what is 'Normal' for YOU.
It doesn't matter what ANYONE ELSE thinks!
Our son is 17 and has never had an over night with Grandma.
The distance is just too far and we all have busy lives.

Depends on the kid, depends on the grandparents. Have they stayed there with you? Are the comfortable? Do they wake up at night, frightened? Is the house completely child-proofed? (That includes breakables, medications, cleaning supplies, firearms, and all the other things you have cleared out or put away at your house. Assume children are curious at a different house.) Are the doors to the outside inoperable by children? Is there a dog that isn't used to children and whom the children might inadvertently tease?

Are the grandparents responsible, alert, energetic? Or are they cranky, forgetful, and likely to take a nap? Can they handle diapers/pull-ups/potty training & potty usage? Do the kids eat the kinds of foods the grandparents have on hand?

Do your kids WANT to stay? Could you use a night off and a morning to sleep late? Do you have a back-up plan in case the kids change their minds and want to come home (assuming the grandparents live close enough)? Are the grandparents trying to give you some time off, or is this a power play so they can "correct" your parenting? If you just haven't thought of them staying over, that's one thing. But if you're being belittled or told your parenting policies are "not normal", then that's a problem.

There's no right or wrong here - just what's right for you and your kids.

I think it's abnormal to spend an overnight away from home before 5 yrs old.

i have a 3 and a 5 yr old. neither one has stayed a night elsewhere without me and daddy. i thought it was parents choice. and nothing to do with normal or not.

There's no such thing as "normal." Do whatever works for you.

That being said, had I had a grandparent nearby who would take care of my kids, I would have happily done so, as soon as I could. I rarely got a break. But if you don't want to, don't.

p.s. I'm guessing it's the grandparents who made that statement?

I think you need to ask a couple question. Are the grandparents up to having young children all night? Is their house secured so that your little ones won't find medication that has been dropped by accident or get ahold of medication that isn't in child proof containers? Are their child locks on cabinets that contain chemicals? Caps on the open outlets?

I'm a gram of 5 and I started having my oldest grandson sleep over when he was 6 weeks old. I loved watching him and it game his parents a break (and the ability to sleep in a little). Now that they are a little older I watch them on the weeks I have pto during the summer so their parents don't have to pay for camp or babysitting.

Really its about your comfort level with the grandparents and their ability to make sure they provide a safe place. There's no right answer.

I think that depends very much on your kids and on the grandparents. Some friends of mine have left the kids with the grandparents from time to time since the kids were infants, and it works for them. My children have NEVER spent a night at their grandparents without us, and they never will. My mother is not a safe person for them to be left with.

Normal is what feels right to you. You are the parent. Whether or not your children stay at the grands without you is your decision. Outsiders' opinions don't figure in.

Normal isn't the question you should worry about. What is right for you is much more important. For us that was at about 2 months with my in-laws and at 2 years with my parents (my parents don't do diapers). But that was what was right for us.

Doesn't context matter here?

Who said that to you and under what circumstances? Were they judging or just thought your parenting stance in this case was a little strange?

If you don't allow your children to spend the night at their Grandparents house because the kids don't want to or the Grandparents are irresponsible, that's one thing. If you keep your children from doing it because you must always be in control and are convinced they need you at every moment then it's another.

Only you know the answer and only you make these decisions for your kids. Clearly the comment is bothering you. Why?

That's an opinion. What's yours? Your opinion is really the only one that matters besides your husband's.

There is no 'should' age. It depends entirely on the individual circumstances. I know kids who have done overnights as early as 6 weeks old, and some who have reached adulthood without ever having done a sleepover.

If you have a friend telling you you're not normal, ignore it. They have limited vision outside of their own world.

If the grandparents themselves are the ones giving you the hard time, it would mean my kids would absolutely NOT be spending the night with them anytime soon. I wouldn't even have my kids do unsupervised daytime visits with people who disrespected or undermined me.

you were told by whom?
i myself have always let my kids, from babyhood on, spend nights with their grandparents. i think that's a bond that's so important, even sacred, that i was all about fostering it.
but of course my boys have really good, responsible, loving, trustworthy grandparents. if that had not been the case then they wouldn't have.
if you just are afraid to let your kids spend an evening out of your sight, perhaps you should practice letting go of fears. but if you have genuine concerns that your child's grandparents won't take care of your kids, why are you listening to these amorphous anonymous people who are telling you otherwise?
your question is too broad. some kids should spend nights with their grandparents, others never should. without more information who can say about yours?
sounds like you're really just looking for validation for not doing it. again, more info is necessary in order to give that.
khairete
S.

I don't listen to people who are rude. My husband always says if I want your opinion, I'll ask you for it.

What is normal for one family is not necessarily for another. Similarly it's not the same between kids - some of mine enjoy sleepovers, others do but aren't good sleeping at other people's houses, and others not interested.

My niece just left her son with my sister at six weeks, but my sister is fully capable and happy to give them a night out. Other people are not that confident in their set of grandparents. Others have no need to have kids stay over. Some grandparents don't want kids over. I only did when we needed a sitter as we were out of town.

The best time to do stuff? When your kids ask to or show interest.

There is no normal or not normal with this - but if you are close with your parents/inlaws, I don't see why not. My oldest started staying at my parents house when she was 13 months old...it was maybe 5 times total before she was 2 and then stopped, they have too many animals and my family has allergies.

It's normal if you want them to spend the night there and not abnormal if you don't.

There's no normal or not normal in this situation. You have to do what you and your kids are comfortable with. If you're not ready, don't do it.

That said, my kids have been spending the night at their grandparents since they were very little (my son was 2 his first time and my daughter was almost 1 her first time). It is such a nice break for me and my husband. We can sleep in and don't have to worry about feeding the kids for a few meals. It also gives us a chance to go out on a date without paying a sitter.

My kids spend the night once every 3-4 weeks with their in-laws. Over the holidays or summer, they will sometimes spend 2-3 consecutive nights.

Do the grandparents want them to stay over? Then by all means have them spend the night and enjoy an evening to yourselves.

If the grandparents haven't invited them yet then no big deal...my kids are 8 and 11 and yet to be invited to spend the night. (Boy I wish occasionally they would get an invitation!!) But with over a dozen grand kids if they start asking kids it will never stop, so no one gets an invite.

I plan on inviting my future grand kids over for sleepovers as soon as my kids will let them come and visit.

I spent every Friday night at my grandparent's house from about age five until ten or eleven and then as they and I wanted me to go. (Maybe younger than five but that is when I remember actually staying it might have been younger.)

So whatever works for all of you guys.

Who told you that? That's just crazy talk....
You know your kids and their grandparents best and know when and if a sleepover with the grandparents would work....My son had one sleep over with my parents when he was 6 and then my dad's condition started to decline not long after (alzheimers) and he hasn't slept over since. He's had a couple of random sleepovers with my FIL and step-MIL when he was like 12 and 13 (any story for another time)...
So no, it's not abnormal...do whatever's right by your kids...

My kids never stayed at grandparents, but by the time they were 3 they had started sleeping over at family friends. I wouldn't ask anyone to take my kids overnight while still in diapers, that's too much work. I do think it is a good idea to let kids sleepover at family or close friends before they go to school and slumber parties and overnight camps start.

I think that it is all about your comfort level.

My kids don't spend nights away from us. They are 7 and 9 and have never spent the night with grandparents. The bottom line is that I just don't trust the grandparents for different reasons on either side. I do have a very close family friend...she was our home daycare with both kids. They have spent a night or two with her in an emergency situation.

They really haven't asked to spend the night somewhere else so this works for us right now...

Normal is a mathematical average. It has nothing to do with right or wrong. Do what is right for your family.

You are totally normal! It is up to the mom, and if you are not comfortable, then it's not going to happen, and the grandparents will just have to deal with it! Please do not feel pressured! Besides, not all grandparents are qualified to have their grandbaby sleep over! So maybe your inlaws fall into that category? Or maybe they don't, but you are still uncomfortable, which is fine. I'm sure you have your reasons.

Our grand kids were spending the night with us a lot younger. I had the babies at our house a few times when they were very very young so my daughter could get some sleep.

I do think it's personal choice though. If you are friends with someone and the kids want to do a sleep over and you really trust the other person there isn't any real reason they can't do it. As for grandparents, you and your husband lived through lots and lots of nights at their house.

You're normal. It's really mostly about what you're comfortable with and the grandparents, as well as the kiddies. Overall, in most cases, I'd say to wait till they're 8 or older; this is of course if the grandparents are familiar/close with them and vice versa.

I started staying with my grandparents when I was around 7, but other siblings were older. Two of my grandchildren started spending the night from time to time at about age 4 but I see them almost every day. And even then it wasn't easy for them to go to sleep. The others I only see about every month so none of them have spent the night, they're too young and don't see me enough to be completely comfortable.

uuumm...NO!! Sorry - my kids were not sleeping at ANYONE's house at age 1 - not even grandparents. They were 4 when they stayed in my parents motor home.

You are just fine. You are normal. YOU get to decide what your kids do and where they sleep. I would NOT have my kids sleeping at anyone's house at that age anyway...NOT NORMAL in my world!!

Either way is fine. While it's common for kids to spend overnights with grandparents or other relatives, it's perfectly normal not to if circumstances don't warrant it. As kids, there were 5 of us and my only grandparents were pretty "old" even when we were young so there is no way they would have been able to watch us overnight, so it wasn't an option or an issue. By contrast, my parents and my in-laws are very "young" grandparents, even though they're all around age 70 now (became grandparents in their mid-50's). Our kids routinely slept over their houses when they were younger and we were going away for the weekend or just having a late night out (and in the case of my in-laws, who have a very nice beach house, the younger kids do still go there for overnights a few times over the summer).

My niece (5) also routinely sleeps over at my parents' house or her other grandparents' house, but that's mostly because my sister is a single mom and sometimes has to go to work really early or travel for conferences and she has no help at home.

If your parents or in-laws are equipped to handle two small kids overnight and want to, and your kids want to, then why not schedule something? Give yourself and your husband the luxury of a late night out, sleeping in, and uninterrupted sleep. A night off every now and again can be hugely refreshing for you and fun for you kids and their grandparents.

With exception of illness requiring me to go to the hospital, my kids never spent a night at my parents' home. My 7 yr old for the first time spent the night at a friends' home a few weekends ago. I know lots of kids that have not spent the night away from home. Normal is based on your family life.

Updated

With exception of illness requiring me to go to the hospital, my kids never spent a night at my parents' home. My 7 yr old for the first time spent the night at a friends' home a few weekends ago. I know lots of kids that have not spent the night away from home. Normal is based on your family life.

You're normal! My kids (2 and 3 months) have never spent a night away from me. Both sides of grandparents are crazy and I will not allow it..probably ever. Sad but true. I wish we had good support and someone they could stay with, but sadly it's not the case for us.