27 answers

What Age to Let Child Spend the Night @ Friend's House?

My daughter is almost 8 and got invited to spend the night at a friend's house on Sat. I wasn't home at the time and my husband said "Yes" without really consulting me about it. I had a friend coming into town and I was more wrapped up in that and making sure she got here alright and so I "gave in" a bit and said, Well Ok. I've had second thoughts about it since. Needless to say, I picked her up on Sunday around noon and I could tell in an instant she was very tired and has been having a hard time. I also thought it was kind of odd that the Mom didn't offer to drop her off. We took here there. I do believe she is young and our kids grow up so fast these days anyway. We did have some neighbor friends stay the night over the Summer but it was more because their Mom just needed a break and she doesn't really have family in town..I offered. I've also had my daughter spend the night at my Moms or a good friends house if my husband and I went on a date night or trip where we didn't take the kids. However, I think that is totally different than having them spend the ____@____.com have you done Mamas?

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So What Happened?™

Wow-I appreciate all the advice. So many different points of view...well, interestingly enough-my daughter had decided she doesn't want to go over to this friend's house anymore to play or for a sleep over. She talked w/me about how they do things so much differently than we do and we talked openly about it. It isn't a matter of respect just differences that my daughter doesn't feel comfortable with and I don't either. She can play at school but not going over to her house anymore. We also don't know the family all that well-like our neighbors or good friends. I think it is a bit crazy how you hear about kids spending the night when they are way younger and we live in a scarier world than we used to.

Featured Answers

I personally, don't like sleepovers. Every once in a while it is fine, for some of the reasons that you suggested. But if it is just for play...well.. i remember the mischief I got into on over-nighters. SO....my kids get to have "Stay Lates" They stay til 11 or 12 or whatever, then they get to come home. I don't like sleepovers. :)

1 mom found this helpful

I'm kind of a killjoy when it comes to sleepovers. We don't do them at all. There's the occasional stay with grandparents or cousins, but for the most part I insist that everyone be home for sleeping.
I never have to be worried about whether I know other parents well enough. I never have to wonder if my kids are getting enough sleep. I never have to deal with the frustrations and worries that come with sleepovers. It's very freeing.
I also know that this is an unpopular way of going about things but I thought I'd toss these two cents out for another option to consider. That's how we do it and it's working out very well.

1 mom found this helpful

Do you know this family well? We don't do sleep overs unless it is a whole family affair or extremely close friends (entire family close, not just the kids). It is too dangerous. We would never, ever put a child in the situation to be at the mercy of near-strangers as far as the family goes. You just never know, you know?

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

We just started letting our son start sleepovers, but they are with people we are very very familiar with. (almost family like) I always plan on them being very tired and cranky the next day. I actually encourage a nap/rest in the afternoon.

Good Luck! (they grow up way too fast)

2 moms found this helpful

Do you know this family well? We don't do sleep overs unless it is a whole family affair or extremely close friends (entire family close, not just the kids). It is too dangerous. We would never, ever put a child in the situation to be at the mercy of near-strangers as far as the family goes. You just never know, you know?

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter and one of her friends have stayed overnight at each others houses since they were six. They are now 8. As far as pickup drop off, just depends on who it is most convenient for. We are good friends and live near each other. My daughter tends to stay awake and her friend goes to sleep earlier. My daughter is expected to act gracious and polite while at other's homes and my friend is honest about any issues that come up. Maybe we have an ideal unusual situation but it works well for everyone and is lots of fun.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it's ok... I started spending the night at my friends' houses when I was close to that age... as long as my dad knew the family well.

1 mom found this helpful

I personally, don't like sleepovers. Every once in a while it is fine, for some of the reasons that you suggested. But if it is just for play...well.. i remember the mischief I got into on over-nighters. SO....my kids get to have "Stay Lates" They stay til 11 or 12 or whatever, then they get to come home. I don't like sleepovers. :)

1 mom found this helpful

I'm kind of a killjoy when it comes to sleepovers. We don't do them at all. There's the occasional stay with grandparents or cousins, but for the most part I insist that everyone be home for sleeping.
I never have to be worried about whether I know other parents well enough. I never have to wonder if my kids are getting enough sleep. I never have to deal with the frustrations and worries that come with sleepovers. It's very freeing.
I also know that this is an unpopular way of going about things but I thought I'd toss these two cents out for another option to consider. That's how we do it and it's working out very well.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it all depends on your kid, the other kid and their family. I don't really think there is an age for every kid. My oldest is 10 and it depends on who he wants to stay with for me to let him go. I never expect them to come home well rested. I am always prepared for an overtired child.
As far as the other mom not offering to drop your daughter off, I don't find that odd at all. I don't think I would offer to drop off a child staying at my house unless we were already going out and I wouldn't expect another mom to drive my kid around unless they were already out. I would always offer to drive my kid myself. But thats just me.

1 mom found this helpful

My son was probably 6 during his first sleepover. My daughter was 5. I am a super protective mom. They have only spent the night at neighbors houses, who I know well.
I did have a friend watch them just a few weeks ago, who isnt in the neighborhood. It went ok, they were tired. We went out and I almost drove by the house on our way home, just to check up. I didnt though. It is hard letting your kids grow up.

1 mom found this helpful

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