Want to Join the YMCA - Can't Get Hubby on Board

Maybe you could look into applying for financial assistance for membership? The Y is pretty generous, and although I don't know what their parameters are, it's worth an investigation.

Put the cost of the YMCA membership money aside each month and pay your bills as you normally would. Do this for 6 months and evaluate, did you have to dip into the money you sat aside for the YMCA membership? Was there a surplus each month?

If so then sit back down with him and re-discuss. If you you had to dip into the money sat aside for the YMCA, then you can not afford the membership.

I'm looking at this from hubby's point of view, and completely agree with him. Your family had a large income coming into the household and he has no idea when or if, that income is going to return. He is being pratical in keeping expenses low. What happens if hubby's income decreases by 50% for a few months? Can you still afford the memebership?

Your health is important, but so is your financial health and hubby's stress level. If money is tight, you can find other ways to exercise for now.

In response to the suggestion that you can't afford it if your income goes down 50% you can put your account on hold until the income comes back up.

In response to you won't go anyway I suggest you look into a trial membership and see if you do go and it's as good as you expected it to be.

And a scholarship might be a possibility.

Any way you could get a part time job to pay for just the membership. I've worked part time low wage jobs for a bit of extra money. One was working as a substitute kindergarten aid. Another was part time in a community college office and one was taking inventory. I could pick and choose when I took the job with the inventory company. I also worked a couple of office temp jobs thru a temp agency. Again I could pick and choose which jobs I wanted to take.

$750 a year sounds like a lot to me. I know many people who have convinced themselves they needed a gym membership only to realize they aren't using it after the novelty has warn off. Many of the classes offered at the Y are also not included in the membership, your membership just gets you discounts. At least that is the way it is around here. I have a friend who felt "duped" after making that discovery. Maybe a compromise? See if he'll agree to you taking an aerobics class rather than paying for a year long membership.

For me a workout buddy has been the best choice...talk about accountability. It's hard to back out when a friend is at the door ready to go.

I have to agree with your hubby on this one. Especially if he does freelance work. While I understand your disappointment (and frustration with the way he chose to talk to you about it), he has a point. He saw that savings from the mortgage as a way to pay other bills, not for something fun !

Perhaps you can get your husband to get interested in the Y through their Y-Tribes program, which is a fantastic Father/Child organization. If your daughters are members, they can be a part of Y-Tribes and they have fantastic activities (at our Y, there is a Pinewood Derby, Halloween Pumpkin Carve, campfires and overnights.) I don't believe another organization like it exists where Fathers can participate with their daughters. That's why my husband got involved with our oldest daughter nine years ago. He is now in the program with our son and younger daughter and has gotten very involved in the organization! Good luck.

I can see how you want to budget in the Y. I mean there are SO many benefits. By losing extra pounds and getting your body in shape you are extending your life and reducing your risk of heart disease. I can see that you really want to get your girls in extra curricular activities. It is thought that active kids are less likely to do drugs and get in with the wrong crowd when they are involved in something. I wasn't involved as anything as a kid and when I was a teenager I joined the wrong crowd looking for social belonging that I couldn't get w/the kiddos who were involved in things. I can see why this is important to you.

I hope that you can talk your hubby into it and if you need to budget on other things. I really like what Kristina A B said about proving that you can afford it. Maybe he will be more on board if he can see it. Good luck!!

how old are your girls?? are they in school?? My sisinlaw posted an ad on craigs list to care for a kid before or after school. so this girl was dropped off at her ____@____.com had breakfast with her kids and then she took her to school. She went to a different school than my neices. But the timing was right and it was on the way. And that was all she did 5 days a week. So my sis in law made $50 per week! something like that would cover your expense for sure (and you could buy new sneakers and work out clothes after a few weeks too!)

Why don't you show him how the starbucks adds up? If won't be a good listener and take to heart that you told him how important this is to you, then show him how he is spending the same on amount on something that is important to him. I LOVE our YMCA. I am there 3-4 times a week and love their classe. My kids to great in their daycare and we swim so much too. They do have free passes and I would try that first to show him you are dedicated. Once you get there please take Turbo Kick. Its awesome!

Early in our marriage, when funds were not as fluid, I faced a similar dilemma. My spouse did not take my desire to join a gym seriously because I had a track record of quitting, and I admit it! So I really wanted to show him that I was serious. I looked at the incidental spending in my life, such as magazines, coffees-that I could eliminate or do without. I managed to find almost $50 a month that I could divert if I was to forgo a few things. I even decided that it would be a great time to give up my chocolate addiction which cost me about a dollar a day....that added up to $30! Then I showed my husband my list. That proved that I was serious and that I had figured a way to pay for it.

You could also show him the savings in health care costs if you lost weight!

Another tact would be to ask him to go walking with you in the evenings after dinner. I would not recommend running for someone who is carrying extra weight because it is h*** o* the knees, but fast walking is the best! Once he sees your commitment he may be more inclined to give in. Also, if he says he is too tired to walk with you as him "is it worth $63 not to have to?"

My husband and I set up a very detailed budget, and there are line items for each of us to have as "discretionary spending" -- essentially, a small bucket of money that we each have so we don't have to clear it with the other person if we want to spend on starbucks, or gym, etc. It sounds like you both need about $100 each per month that you can spend without talking to your spouse. That way, there's no fighting or judgements about his (in our case, it's mine) Starbucks habit, OR your desire for a gym activity. I agree with the other posters that you need to review all of your combined spending habits to find out where you can save some money to make this disretionary funds happen. Your budget needs to get very detailed, down to the level of the lattes, grocery budget, all of the kids' expenses, etc. Maybe there are some other items that you can cut, or make more efficient to scrape together the $63.

If there is money for latte, there is money for the YMCA. After all, you just saved $800 on the mortgage per month. Point out you can cancel YMCA for financial hardship if his income suddenly decreases. Point out you don't want him to give up his Starbucks, but for the same amount of money you and the kids can do this very healthy thing. I agree $63 is a lot but if he was so worried, he wouldn't be going to Starbucks. Now if he gives up Starbucks though you tell him not to, don't let him make you feel like he is victimized - after all, you and the girls are giving up too by not doing YMCA in that scenario! His needs do NOT trump your needs and your daughters' needs. Everyone's needs are supposed to be considered in a family.

Hello
Have you checked with your city to see what programs they offer? Might be cheaper than the Y and most cities also offer a scholarship program. I did join the Y a few year back and ended uo canceling. Majority of the programs we were interested in came with a separate fee in addition to the monthly fee. Also "meetup" has becoming more popular and there might be some groups you can join where people meet at the park and do group workouts which are generally free. Glad your wanting to be healthy, have you also considered cooking healthier? Maybe this would also be more convincing to your hubby if he sees this is serious and not a floating thought?

Good luck

I haven't read through all the responses, but maybe try making a deal that you'll save $63/month on groceries to compensate for the gym membership. I save that much easily just using my Ralph's card (conveniently says how much you've saved at the bottom of the receipt). Clip a few coupons, and there you go!

I also have two kids, and the Burbank YMCA has been great. Free childcare, all the classes you mentioned. Good luck!

The Y near us doesn't make you sign a contract. You can stop at any time. Is it the same for your Y? If so, he should at least let you try it for a few months and see if you stick with it. I would talk to him again.

My experience is that "financial problems" usually are not the "real" problem ... its just easier to argue about how to spend money than to to tackle what's really going on! I might be wrong but, just from the little you've said, your hubby is feeling very insecure about the family's financial future and does not want to commit himself to any other "fixed monthly expense". I'm quite sure that, if he has a bad month, he cuts back on his Starbucks visits, but you wouldn't be able to just skip a payment to the Y, would you? You sound like an incredibly intelligent and capable lady. I'm quite sure that, if you put your mind to it, you COULD find a way to earn $100 relatively easily. I understand that its extremely hard to go from having a "high profile" job to having to do menial work, but how badly do you want that membership? I've also had "high-profile" work but (when times were tough) I've done anything and everything (legal) to bring money home. Sure, selling door-to-door or telemarketing isn't fun, but the money counts even more when you don't have job satisfaction! If you show your husband that you're willing to do whatever it takes to contribute financially as well, you'll see how much closer it brings you! Good luck!

Reading your "so what happened" completely changed my story. I'd say he needs to put his money where his latte's going. Not sure how his roughly $65 a month for one person's unhealthy habit is more important than the same amount for three people to be healthier and to be more engaged in their community. Did you know deeper involvement in one's community is an excellent deterrent against delinquent behavior in children? :+D

Best wishes, mama!

Not sure how old your little ones are, but would hubby watch them while you went walking around the neighborhood for about an hour? *L*

*Maybe* you could check w/your local "Y" and see if you could do a job for them in exchange for the monthly fee -- something like covering the desk for part of a day maybe once a week, or maybe if they have a childcare area, doing that. Just some thoughts as I don't know any of your "Y's" rules on these things!

If you don't end up getting the membership, or you wait a while for it, check out your local rec center, or try classes at the Y by paying for one at a time. My city has yoga, zumba, and pilates for $2 a class. Yours probably isn't quite that cheap, but it might be worth looking into. One of your husbands conditions was that you wouldn't use it, this is a good way to show him you will, without breaking the bank.

I would find the money somewhere if I wanted to go as much as you do. You can do a paper route, take in ironing, type papers for students, whatever you have the skills to do. Then it is your money to do with as you please.

You both need to sit down and plan a budget for both of you to have pocket money and that money is never accountable. It is blow money, it can be thrown away if the person wants to, it is their money 100%. If you can make a budget like this and make him pay for his coffees and other personal items that are not for the family it will make a better impact on him of how much he is taking from the family budget and wasting.

I guess what I would say is that you and your husband need to sit down and go over the expenses, line by line. Just saying you can't afford something, does not give enough details. After you both fully review your monthly expenses then you will know if you really have the extra money or not. And, to be honest, $63 a month is a lot of money when things are tight. In the meantime, I would have you start working out daily whether it be walking, running, a DVD, etc., to prove to yourself and your husband that you are truly committed to exercising and getting healthy. If you can show this committment and stick with it, then you will be able to prove that the $63 will not go to waste.

You'll be able to afford it better after you get a job.
It might not be high profile, but anything will help.
The economy sucks and I can understand why your husband is so nervous.
If something breaks and you need a new water heater or fridge or a car needs repairs or there's an accident that will rack up medical bills - a Y membership is not going to help you at all.
Building up a cushion for emergencies can make the difference between making it or ending up on the street.
If we lost our jobs, we could still pay our mortgage for 9 months.
Hubby might be thinking you are in denial over how close finances are right now.
Maybe you should be listening to some of his reasons before you shoot him down.
Best way to be able to afford some activities for the kids is to get working again soon as you can.

1st check with the YMCA to see if they can give you a financial break based on your status. They will ask for all the information, but it is worth a try. If you can not get a break from them, the 2nd, ask your husband to let you give it a test. 2 months. If you do not get any value out of it, you will pull your membership. Just some thoughts.

Kristina AB is a genius! What a GREAT idea! In fact, I may just try that myself!

:)