Help, We've been invited to my nephew's wedding reception (civil ceremony 1 week before, only parents and grandparents invited) on May 15th. It is being held in a shelter house at Lake Shawnee in Topeka, KS. (The pictures of the lodge look like it is really nice) I asked and dress is Dressy-Casual. Okay, how on earth do I/we dress for that? (teenage daughters specifically) My guess is, no jeans but from there, I don't know. And, what on earth do you give a couple that is combining households and don't need ANYTHING? I'm thinking cash but the last few weddings we've attended and we've given cash, the gifts were never acknowledged. Thanks so much!
Thank you all for your input and advice. I think we are all set on "what to wear" I just didn't want us to show up looking like the country bumpkins or completely overdressed for the occasion. Yesterday was our 18th wedding anniversary, and I remembered one of our favorite wedding gifts that we still use on a regular basis, steak knives. I know that my nephew is a meat and potaotes kind of guy. But then cash is always nice too. Thanks again for coming to my rescue.
A nice skirt or slacks and a blouse. Even a dress will work. But no denim, t-shirts or tennis shoes. As far as a gift, I would go with cash. Everyone likes cash. Just because people in the past didn't acknowledge cash as a gift, my guess is they didn't acknowledge any of their gifts. I wouldn't put much more thought into it.
Have a nice trip.
I think sun dresses would be great! They never look too dressy, but look nicer than pants. Dress sandals (not necessarily heels) would be fine as well. Any colors would work, although I would go for something brighter because of the season!
As for a gift, I would still just give a check. The only reason the last wedding couples did not acknowledge the money you gave is because they were too rude to send out a thank you note. It has nothing to do with the gift you gave, but the people you gave it too! (Can you tell not sending thank you notes is a pet peeve of mine?!?!) Have fun!
Spring or summer dresses are nice. Sandals would be appropriate. Somethig simple. Cash is just fine. We received cash for our wedding and sent "Thank You" notes to everyone. My sister and SIL wrote the amounts on all the cards for us, so that we could take the cash on our honeymoon. That was a huge help. No reason not to send "Thank You" notes, but I've noticed many couples who don't seem to know they're supposed to.
I just went to an occasion that said dressy-casual. I was baffled like you are. The men had on slacks and button up shirts. Women were wearing slacks and pretty blouses or pant suits. I wore black skinny pants with flats, a floral ruffled necked blouse with a one of those draped sweaters that are so cute this year, and felt comfortable. One person wore jeans with a very dressy blouse, but I overheard a comment about her wearing jeans and it being inappropriate. For your girls, think something they would wear to a dance or to church.
Give the happy couple a restaurant gift card so they can go out together for a nice meal to celebrate.
Dressy casual I would say is like business casual for adults. For teenage daughters, I'd say tasteful tops and nice skirst or pants - no jeans. Nice shoos, not sneakers or flipflops, but sandels would probably be fine. I would just check their registry re. presents. If they didn't register, perhaps a gift certificate if you can find out their favorite restaurant?
Hi J.,
I would take dressy-casual to mean the same as business-casual: slacks or chinos with a dressy or button-down casual top, or a nice knee-length or ankle-length skirt or dress. No cleavage (front or back).
For men/boys, a simple button-down or polo/golf shirt tucked in with a belt. (and no baggy-butts for the boys!)
No gowns; no silk fru-fru; no ties or jackets. No sneakers or pumps, but loafers, sandals, flats, clogs, and leather lace-ups are probably all okay. No athletic socks.
It is not right of your previous hosts not to acknowledge your cash gifts. That's just bad manners. It shouldn't matter what you give, as long as it is from the heart (and includes a gift receipt - lol!). The bride and groom's parents should remind them how important a simple "thank you" card can be.
Have fun!
t
Dressing: I would go with a cute sun dress & sandals if you/her are into wearing sun dresses. Otherwise a nice pants suit, or a cute spring skirt with a nice top.
Gift: Cash or Check if you can not think of anything else they need. As someone else said it is not about the kind of gift but the people why you did not recieve a thank you.
--- If they are wine drinkers maybe a nice bottle of wine that you can get engraved with the wedding date & names.
--- If they like picnics/outdoor people maybe a cute picnic basket with cloth blanket, matching napkins, bug spray, sunscreen, maybe a set of nice plastic dishes.
--- Picture frames seem to always be a hit if you know their style.
--- Are they Do-It-Yourself type people, maybe a gift card to a home improvement store, or if they have a garden maybe a garden store.
--- If you know a place they donate to maybe make a donation to that place in their name.
You've gotten great answers for the casual dress :)
As far as the gift, one of our favorites was a picnic basket, with a bottle of sparkling cider (we don't drink alcohol, but if they do, you could do champagne or wine, not too expensive) and some nice champagne flutes. We enjoyed the cider on our honeymoon, and still have the glasses 15+ years later, and use them for special occasions.)
Khakis, nice top, casual shoes. You could do a skirt, heals, but no formal attire.
As for the gift: see if they're registered anywhere. If not, cash (or check. Sometimes the gift isn't acknowledged because they've taken the cash out of the card and forgotten who'd given the gift).
I think the dress has been covered pretty well, and you have several great gift suggestions, but another great gift is a gift certificate for some kind of class....like a cooking lesson if they are foodies, or a dance lesson if they are into that...just something they can do together. I don't know what's in your area, but here you can get gift certificates for a high tea (English style), or a tour of a chocolate factory, or a brewery, etc....lots of options.
Dress like you would if you were attending church or a job interview. How about a nice picture frame? I buy them at Ross or TJ Maxx and they're usually under $10.
My girls have some cute skirts and tops. They also have black pants that are not jeans. Or a sundress. Something you woud wear to church. Black flats or swhite sandals.
Have they registered anywhere?
How about a gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond?
White bath towers are always nice.
Teen girls would be the easiest to dress, I would think: sun dresses, or maxi's maybe? Shoes would be strappy sandals with a hint of a heel?
It sounds like they basically want everyone to make an effort to look nice, and not show up in denim or shorts. Think: business casual.
Gift idea...I like to give personalized Christmas ornaments. One with the wedding date for the couple, and another with all family members on it (assuming they might be blending families).
I recently remarried and we combined households. We didn't need gifts. Nevertheless, some people gave gifts anyway, all of which were appreciated and acknowledged, and many of which were appreciated very much. The kinds of gifts we have appreciated the most were (1) original art works by our family members and friends, (2) books written/published by our friends, (3) cash, and (4) gift certificates to
Bed, Bath, and Beyond - we did have stuff that was trashed and needed to be replaced - and restaurants.
The thought really does count. And, I imagine that the lucky recipients of your cash gifts appreciated them even though they did not acknowledge them. I found that I had to enter into accountant mode as I opened cards so I could keep track of the cash gifts. They may not have had the time or inclination to do that.
