Unfriendly Neighbors

If in doubt CALL! You don't have to give your name or anything like that so there's no way your neighbors can find out who called. Doing illegal drugs in front of young kids is a big red flag right there. Social Services can come investigate and they don't just pull kids out for no reason... that why it's called investigate. They can offer help to the family and come back to check periodically. Even if they don't find anything now, they might in the future and would look to this report as evidence of an ongoing problem and it would be quicker to help the kids.

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I would say that if you truly believe that the children are in danger then you need to call SS. Social Services is forbidden to release any information regarding who called then and turned in the case so as long as you don't tell anyone that you are the one that called then your other neighbors would have no way of knowing. Social Services will not tell the family, or anyone else for that matter, who called them.

However, do remember that just because you feel that he is rude is not ample reason to call social services. That is just a reason for you to stay away from him. And as far has him being unemployed that really shouldn't have anything to do with anything, especially in this day and age.

It is a tough decision but yes, if you truly believe that the children are being harmed then call.

Good luck.

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Change will happen. Not all change it good. You don't want that lifestyle to change the lives of the children in your family unit. If there is a disturbance, many times you can call the police and make an anonymous complaint to tell them to keep it down. If there are other things noticed on that visit, the authorities will handle. You don't want to be labeled in your neighborhood as a snitch. You and your children must have a healthy living environment also.

I have seen neighbors lash out and single out the ones who tow a different line. But you must do what you feel is right.

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I have to agree with everyone else, CALL and do it anonymously so that you don't have to worry about them or other neighbors pesturing you about it.

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As a proud employee of Child Services, my advice to you is to call. Please be sure to give as much detail as possible when you do so.
Such as: is the home clean?
Drug use in front of children
Domestic Violence
Drug use in general
Are the children clean?

It is always best to report and have it investigated than to sit and do nothing.

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D., if I were you I would call. Ask if your name can be left out so there will be no problems in the neighborhood. Someone has to protect the kids!

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Call the authorities. These children are growing up in a dysfunctional environment. This is psychologically damaging to their level of esteem and will leave scars for the rest of their lives. I just don't see them having a quality life or future if they stay there. Isn't it against the law to smoke pot in front of kids?

Where is the mom here and why is she putting up with this?
Are there other family members nearby that could be contacted through the police? When you keep your mouth shut, then you could become a co-partner in this and a supporter of the negatives that you see. To hell with the neighbors. Where are their standards?

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definitely call..and you can do it anonymously. Even if nothing comes of it, as happens so many times, at least you know you tried. Also, keep it to yourself...since you got yelled at by the other neighbors before about similar circumstances. They should be ashamed of themselves not looking out for the welfare of little children.

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Hi D....
When it comes to defenseless children you always have to trust what your gut is telling you. CALL!!! Your name should ALWAYS be kept anonymous but you could ask that it be left as such. If you don't report this and something happens to any of the kids then how will you feel? The worst thing that can come out of it is that who ever told you this was not being totally truthful and the claims are unsubstantiated. Another thing, don't tell anyone that you have made this call, that way they can't say anything to you about it. GOOD LUCK!!!

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Call. ASAP. The children come before the irresponsible, uncaring neighbors. Just keep your cool when dealing with them and don't let them upset you. We're here for your support!

The incidents you described are "warning signs" or "red flags" as people who end up in the worst-case scerarios will tell you! Also please pray for them, and let them know if they need help you are the one they can run to. They need to know they can escape. Hopefully they will be rescued!!!

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D.,

I think we all agree that CPS should be called, but we are not the ones living there, and won't have to put up with any retaliation from any other neighbors. So I understand your hesitation.

But if you can't bring yourself to call CPS for those defenseless children, AT LEAST call the police and report the drugs. Maybe that would get him arrested and out of the house for a while. I know you can make either call anonymously.

Good luck with your decision - I hope you will let us know what you end up doing.

J.

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Hi D.,
If you have a gut feeling, I would absolutely call! You'll be kicking yourself if something happens to one of those kids & you could have done something to help them. They're little & can't help themselves get out of that situation.
PLEASE CALL!

You should do whatever is necessary to protect the children. Noone has to know it was you who called unless you tell them.

Social services won't reveal their source when they approach him. SAVE THE CHILDREN!

It really does not matter whether you like this man or not since as an adult you have the option to avoid interacting with him. As the old adage goes good fences make good neighbors. While it is not your concern how these people choose to run their household or what expectations they have for their children's behavior, It is the responsibilty of every adult to look out for the safety and well being of any child. If you feel that you have legitimate concerns about the treatment one or all of these children is recieving you should contact the 1-800 number for children and family services in your area. Report clearly and concisely exactly what it is that you have heard or seen that concerns you and refrain from making personal comments about your feelings towards the parents. In most areas DCFS will respond promptly to investigate the well being of the children and the suitability of the home. If you personally observe anything that is an immediate threat to the children such as violence or illegal drug use, contact your local police department first, and then follow up with social services. Do not be surprised however if drastic steps are not immediately taken, social services will evaluate the whole situation, some aspects of which you may not be privy to. Also, prior to contacting social services, you may consider discussing the situation with either the mother or the grandmother if you are on reasonably good terms with them. Do so in a way that is non confrontational, pointing out that you noticed the middle child seems to be distressed about something and letting them know the things that you have seen and heard. Speaking from experience I can tell you that the mother may not be aware of the problems, or at least the extent of them, and in making her aware you could be giving her the opportunity to rectify the situation herself. Don't feel bad if you aren't comforatable doing this, but if it is an option for you it could save the mother some hassle in the long run.