Two Year Old in Delivery Room

I think, depending on what method of delivery you choose, that could be quite a dramatic experience for a child. Esp a girl. I had my second when my first was 3.5 she knew quite a bit about how our baby was going to get here but I didn't personally think having her in the delivery room was a good choice for her. My husband took a video for me since I've never had a mirror and do it natural. The video was short and omitted things like epesiotomy and afterbirth. She watched the video with the sound off and that satisfied her, but the noise and reality of actually being there I think would have upset her. I didn't plan on showing her the video but glad we had it when she started saying she wanted to "see our baby come out."

Her involvement should start as soon as you tell her you are having another baby. Talk about "our baby" let her feel ownership and she will get excited about him and her role as older sister. Talk to her about what she can do for you and the baby and that you are happy she is going to be a big sister. She will take up interest in it. Talk openly with her that you need her to be a big girl. Don't make things the baby's fault. If you hurt you hurt because you hurt not because of the baby, otherwise she will be mad at the baby. Make sure to do special things with her so she doesn't develop jealousy. Don't be picky and let her help decorate the baby's area, place stuffed animals etc.

Prepping your daughter for her relationship with the baby is the most important. It will make things so much easier when the new one comes. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Absolutely not!
Do you honestly want your precious daughter seeing you in that much pain. And the concept of where the baby comes from is way out of her learning capability. She will have plenty to be involved in.

I agree with the others. If your 2 year old is anything like mine, she doesn't like seeing mommy in pain or what looks like pain (if you had an epidural). So I wouldn't do it. I just had my 2nd daughter just after my daughter turned 2. We just had her come up as soon as we had her.

On a side note, my hospital in town lets you bring siblings. So its really up to you.

Personally-having had 4 two year olds-I don't think it would be a good idea. Kids that age don't understand much but they do know scary things and all the medical equipment, the sights and the sounds of birth are scary to a young child. I am sure you want to include her but AFTER the birth is the way to go! Good luck.

In addition to everyone's response, I work in L&D & we do not allow children in the delivery room. If you would need to have an emergency c-sec, there's no wasting time so it's a very quick process. So, for safety reasons, we do not allow children. So, if you decide that you want her in there, check with the hospital you are delivering at on their policy.

P.

You know what? You are her mom. You know her inside and out, so you know what, and how much she can handle. Personally, I wanted my son in there for our daughters birth, he is 4, but I didn't want him to see the actual place where the baby comes out of, but there are ways around it.
I am now going to have my mom come in and take care of him, during, because I am afraid that labor will be to long for him, to sit and be still. I am willing to let him come and go as he pleases, and when he is feeling edgy, my mom can take him back home.
So, you do what feels right for you and your family.

I am actually in a very similar situation as you. I have a nearly two year old son and am due with my second the middle of June. And I too want my son to be involved, but it would be a bad idea to have my son in the delivery room. There are a lot of things that can't be touched and it is a small space to be confined to for an active and curious child. And you will not be able to give the attention to your daughter that she will most likely want. For me I plan on leaving my son with his grandparents and having them bring him in the meet his new baby sister or brother shortly after birth. A two year old child is a little young to be in the delivery room for a birth (in my opinion) and will be equally excited about meeting the new one after you and the baby are cleaned up. That way your daughter can hold the baby when she gets there to see you and not see you in pain. Being in the delivery room may scare your daughter too. Maybe having her in a waiting room in the hospital would be a better bet, so she can come in as soon as you are ready and the baby.

I know for my kids it would only scare them to see mommy in pain. For us, it wouldn't be a good idea. I had my second child at home and had my little girl come back home as soon as her brother was born. That was good for us!

Children that young don't understand what is going on. There is a lot of equipment and sterile things and 2 years old just want to run. Seeing mommy in pain (even with an epidural) is scary and all the blood and fluid. If three is an emergency what will you do with her. My friend was having her second baby and was accidentally brought in the room at the time she was delivering and it scared her and she talked about it for months. In the end it is your choice, but I would have her at the hospital, but out of the room until everything is over. That is what I did with my deliveries.

I would only recommend having your 2 year old in the delivery room after you've had the baby and both look normal. I've heard that it can be traumatic for a young child to see you in that kind of pain during labor, not to mention that if your 2 year old is anything like my 22 month old, she will be in the way of medical personnel.

In my opinion, it would depend on if you had an epidural or not. Involving her is one thing but you could scare half to death and if she didn't go in she doesn't know what she is missing, so what's the point. I think she needs to be with a nice auntie or grandma who will spoil her while you are in labor and then she can come to the hospital after you deliver. I am a labor and delivery nurse and I have seen people bring their kids but not that young. You will probably just worry about her too much. Who is going to be there to take care of her? Your SO needs to be helping you, not your daughter. Good luck with everything.

Personally, I think it would just be traumatic for her, but that's just my opinion!

When I went into labor with my second, my son was almost 2-years old. By the time we got to the hospital (his Grandpa was on the way to pick him up and take our son to his home) I was in the last stages of labor and my poor son has this terrified look on his face. He knew something was going on, he knew I was in pain, but he didn't understand a thing. I was glad his Grandpa came and got him before I delievered otherwise I know he would've been crying and my husband would've had to focus on him instead of the delivery of our second child. I still remember that terrified look on his face. In my opinion, young children should stay out of the delivery room.

Do you have someone who could come to the labor and delivery solely to help with your daughter? Someone who could take her on walks thoughtout and then take her out as soon as things get intense and then bring her right back in after the baby is born? That way she'll be there, but not have to witness everything.

Get your daughter involved in every other way - but not in the delivery. She's too young. Delivery is difficult for adults, why expose a child to that?

Have her part be in the welcoming, the announcements, showing the new baby off, things a 2 year old can handle.

I think that is a really bad idea. Delivery is stressful. She'll see mom in pain. Plus you don't know what's going to happen. What if there was an emergency? She'll freak out. You don't need to be worrying about keeping her happy or entertained - could take hours you know! Take this time for you and your husband and then let big sister in after the baby is born.

I think 2 is too young to be in the delivery room. She won't understand what is going on and might be upset and worried about you. She may also get in the way. My son was 2 when my daughter was born and he came up to the hospital a few hours after she was born. It worked the best that way, I think. You will want to focus on giving birth to your baby, not also having to worry about your daughter running around. I think it would cause you a lot of stress to have her in with you. Have someone care for her while you are laboring and then bring her up to see you as soon as the baby is born and you have had time to collect yourself. There will be plenty of time afterward to bond with both of your children.

Whoa Nelly! That would be a traumatic experience for a child. I don't even think a hospital would let you do it. I would get your daughter involved as soon as you can afterward though. I am sure you would all be happier! If you have the baby in the middle of the night I would wait until your daughter wakes up in the morning to have her meet the new addition. She will appreciate the baby a lot more after her sleep! S.

It's a beautiful thought but she might be too young to witness something like that. If she were older, say 5 or so, she would be able to understand what's going on. But at 2, it may do more harm than good and scare her. Plus you don't want her to see you in pain like that, not to mention all of the gore that goes along with childbirth. For parents, it's a beautiful thing, but for a 2 year old watching from the side line, it might be more like watching a horror movie. Something to think about.

Thanks for asking! I have the exact question, a year later. I want my daughter to be there as soon as our baby boy is born!

Woaw, looks like most people are against it. I had a natural birht with my 2 year old, and there was no screaming or blood. Plus I am not intending her to be standing there in between my legs, but more of the side playing or reading, and with someone who would take her in and out of the room as needed. So looks like it depends on what kind of "show" you put on during the delivery. And important to have someone there that can take her out, if things get to intense.

Well, I hope this works because my 1 and a half year old just messed up my screen somehow and I lost what I was typing when my husband tried to fix it. What I was going to say is that you have to make this decision yourself, but have you thought about what it involves? If you are having a vaginal delivery, you may be in a LOT of pain...will it scare her to see mommy like that? And if something happens...like the baby is breech and you need to have an emergency c-section. They probably won't let her in the room while they do that...where will she go at a hospital or will you have to wait for someone to get to the hospital to pick her up before you can go in to the operating room? Do you have a back-up plan for such an occasion? And a delivery is also bloody...how will she react to that? Who will be taking care of her while she is in the delivery room? You will be a bit busy to do that. And how will she react to mommy being focused elsewhere? If it is a long delivery, where will she get her meals, nap, etc? Just a few things you want to think about and have planned before you decide.

I'll start by telling you a story, I have 7 kids, when we decided to have number five my first four were quite a bit older, my daughters were 8 and 9, they really wanted to be there to witness the birth of thier new brother, I tried to prepare them for what was going to happen, as much as I could, well come the day that I was to deliver they were so excited, they went with me to the hospital, I was induced and daddy came up later, they were fine through most of the prep stuff, and then it was delivery time, I have very fast births and usually push once and there is a baby, no sooner does my son pop out and I look over and my 8 year old is bawling, the sight of me in pain was more then she could handle, I had my husband take her out of the room and go for a walk, my 9 year old was just disgusted, but held up better then the eight year old. Needless to when 6 and 7 came along neither wanted anything to do with the birth. I would allow her to the hospital, but have grandma, grandpa an aunt or uncle sit with her in the waiting room, they can bring her in and out for a visit, but once it is delivery time have her nowhere near your room, once the baby is born she can be brought in to see her new little baby brother. If done right it can be a good expierience for your little girl, but I would keep most of it away from her young eyes. Good luck and congat's on the new baby!

You will have to do what is best for your daughter. Does she really understand what is happening to you? Is she sensitive? I thought of this as well with my daughter who will be 4 years old. After thinking about it, I decided to not have her in the delivery room and I do not regret this decision. There are other ways to have the siblings involved in the birth. Labor and birth are pretty intense for everyone.

I do not suggest.
Too early.
There is blood there,
you are in pain,
and overall,
pretty scary picture for such a little girl.

Once you have another one, though,
then it's a great time to involve her
in helping to care about the little one,
and make her feeling very important and responsible,
as she will be raising a friend for herself!
This will be time to work hard on preventing any possible stings of jealousy. Just make sure you never leave her out, while caring for the little one. it is obvious the baby needs more attention, but you still have two knees in your lap, to fit in both of them :), and anything you do for the baby, you can somehow include the sister to help you somehow...
I managed with my two sons, they are 25-23 and great friends who never ever had a fight or serious argument, because the elder one was 'raising and educating' the younger one in the beginning, and later, the younger one learned to be not a submissive, but equal with the elder one, as it was fun to do everything together: for instance, during my home-schooling them, the younger buy did all the same exercises as the elder one (for the difference as 4 and 6 years old, it was quite a success).
So, my point is: it is never too early to start thinking about involving your girl in everything. Just that, delivery room may really scare her, it is not a very attractive picture for her, really, you know what I say?... Right when all the blood is cleaned up, and you have a smile on your face instead of the agony of pain, THIS is the time to start doing everything together. Good luck, be strong, and have a smile, M.!!!!

I personally think a 2 year old involved in labor and delivery is too young. This child doesn't have the maturity to know why mommy is hurting and may be traumatized by the entire experience.

In my humble opinion, it is a bit too much to allow your 2 year old in the delivery room to watch Mommy go through something that, in her eyes, is a little traumatic. I know it's a natural thing, but while I agree that honesty is important, actually experiencing that first hand it more than a two year old should be expected to handle.

Hi M.

I've birthed and raised 3 wonderful children. My husband attended all 3 births alongside of me. Our youngest is now 20. I think that the issue of age appropriateness is a big consideration here.Frankly, a 2 year old is just not ready for certain things. Birthing a baby can seem rather scary to a youngster when mom is yelling or "ouching" and they could think you are hurt by seeing the amount of blood. Then you have to consider that if anything went wrong that the child would be subjected to it. I think the older child would delight in seeing the baby soon after the birth when the baby and you are all cleaned up.

Nope, sorry, not a good idea!! If you want to involve her then have an adult look after her in the waiting room. As soon as the baby is born and you have a chance to "breathe" then ask that they bring her in.

She isn't going to be able to comprehend what is happening during the birthing process however she will understand that mommy is hurting and that whatever is happening is not good. She may even blame the baby for "hurting" her mom. Plus, you need to focus on the birth and she will be a distraction, trust me.

There will be lots of ways your 2-year old can be included in the life of new baby brother/sister without seeing mommie in pain. While birth is a miraculous thing, I think it would be traumatic for a child that can't understand what is going on. Just like making a baby is a miraculous thing--but not where a two-year old belongs. lol! She can be your personal little helper when you bring the baby home and that will be something that gives her self-esteem, value, and she'll understand.

Delivery rooms are scary places. I would not want my two year old to hear me screaming in pain, blood everywhere, etc. Besides which, I want my husband totally focused on helping me--holding my hand, feeding me ice chips, etc--not on what the little one is doing. Remember what the first delivery was like?

I think its great that you want to involve your children in such a special moment! BUT my only concern with that would be the trauma that she might receive with it. For what a beautiful thing is in delivering a baby... it is not a pretty sight! I know that I when I first saw a baby deliverd I was SO freaked out (and I was 15!). Also something to consider is her seeing her new [brother or sister] covered in goo might scare her too. And seeing her mommy in pain and turning colors probably wouldn't get her too excited you know? I think if she was older... perhaps 8 or 10, but with her being so little, you never know what is going to stick in their pure little minds. Great idea though, I would just be very cautious as to what she might take out of the situation. If anything, have her right outside the door with a relative and the second they get the baby cleaned up, bring her right in!

Hi, My friend tried this and it didnt work out so good. Her daughter ended up being scared and crying because she could see her mommy in pain, the blood, etc. She didnt know how to handle it. I tried to comfort her as much as possible, but it was just too overwhelming and I ended up taking her out of the room and missing the birth myself:-(. But ultimately you know your daughter and what she can handle! Congratulations on the 2nd baby:-)

When I went into labor, my daughter was almost 22 months. The contractions were painful and she could see that on my face. She kept looking at me with a very concerned look on her face. Personally, I think it would have been way too much for her to handle. I had my third when my other 2 were 4 and 5. I don't think that they could've handled it then either. They get really upset if I get hurt physically or emotionally.

I would have your daughter be the first one to come in and meet her brother. Have her involved in other ways, but i think that would be too much. Only you know your daughter though and what you think would be upsetting to her. Just seeing blood would send mine through the roof.

This is a personal question, but I would probably not include a 2 year-old in the delivery room. They will not understand what's going on, and it may scare them. It could also be extremely distracting for you. I would have them close by, under someone's care, so they can enjoy those first few moments with the new baby. But if they see Mommy in pain or struggling, it could be a negative experience for them.

I thought about having my little girl in the delivery room to. But once we got there I was in labor for so long I had grandpa take her home.

Your 2 year old will not understand what is going on in the delivery room. HEck! Delivery is even hard for adults to watch/ experience. Your daughter will probably wind up scared and maybe a bit resentful of all the labor pains you experience bringing her new sibling to this world. If you want to inovlve her-- let her be a helper when you get home with baby. She will love that she gets to help you out and exert her budding sense of independence.Have her hand you wipes or fetch diapers, or help to soothe baby when it is needed.

Two year olds are very unpredictable. I can't think of anything worse than trying to deliver a baby, and entertain a 2 year old at the same time. I would leave her with Grandparents or a trusted friend. Then, they can bring her to the hospital shortly after the baby is born, and you have had a moment or two to recover. It won't mean that you love her less, or that you are choosing one over the other. It just means that somethings are done better w/out 'help' from a toddler.

well, "not" in my. It could be very traumatic for her to see mommy in pain and if anything should go wrong.... She might also "be in the way":try to be on your lap, play with you etc. and you know that would be impossible in the middle of labor. (Well, I don't know with an epidural, never had one, but without it it's no time to entertain children). However, you know your family and yourself so do what you can handle--I know I'm keeping my 2 kids away whem my daughter is born in a few weeks... Good luck!!

We considered this with our daughter age 3 and our soon-to-be third baby. But really my selfishness kicked in and we decided not to. I wanted it to be a special moment between me and my husband, bringing a new baby into the world together. i thought having a child there would distract from the moment. Suddenly we would have to be catering to her needs, and while I am in pain, I want to not have to worry about that. Plus, the delivery of my son a year ago ended up taking longer than it should have and we were there forever, and then they had to call the NICU nurses in which was a total surprise (just a precaution it turned out). But I could not imagine her being there for the hours that it took.
We have a fun video of when she was born, and we plan on showing that to her when she seems ready or interested.

I just went through this. When I gave birth to my son, now two months old, my daughter was 19 months old. I was scheduled to be induced and had my husband there with me. His mother offered to help out with our daughter. I wanted her there with us, but her birth took 16 hours so I wasn't sure how long it would take this time. After getting settled into the hospital, his mother brought our daughter to the hospital to spend time with us. However, when they are at that age, they want to get into everything. She stayed with us for a while, until she got tired. We ended up having our son at 11:31 PM that night and I went into the hospital at 2:00 PM.

My advice to you is that you should just play it by hear. Make sure that you have someone there with you and someone there to take care of your daughter. Let your daughter come in the room to be with you so she doesn't feel left out. If she gets too tired or too wild, then let her stay with a relative or whomever. When they are at that age you don't want to contain them in a "non-playful" environment for too long. Otherwise they get into things and make the birthing situation more stressful than it already is. Our daughter came to the hospital the next morning and was over joyed to see us and the new baby. Also, having her in the room during the delivery may make her scared, because she won't understand what's going on and why you are in so much pain.

Good luck and hope everything works out.

That is a difficult question to answer, but I'll tell you what happened in my family. My Mom had my brothers at home, and my little sister who was three at the time watched one of the births. She was completely traumatized for years! She had nightmares about it, and would always say that there was no way she was ever going to have babies. Now as an adult she says she regrets having seen that at such a young age. The blood and my Mom being in so much pain scared her. She wasn't old enough to understand what was going on. I just had my 4th baby, and had my kids come see their little sister as soon as everything was cleaned up. It worked out great!

Maybe just for the pushing. If a child had witnessed my labor he/she would have been traumatized. I think at two (or even at 32) it could really overwhelm her.
best to you,
A.

No! I think a 2year old is way to young to grasp what is happening, andI feel it would be traumatic for her.

I know you are excited and probably are feeling sad about her not being your only one anymore and want to make her feel a part of the process as to not fel left out, but this is not the way. Have her help you get ready for the baby and help when you get home, that is the exciting part. The delivery should be just you, your husband and the new baby.

Congratulations and GL:)

I had a three year old when we had #2, and I entertained the idea briefly...but we didn't do it, and I'm very glad. My second labor was longer than my first, and even watching me have contractions at home was hard for him--I was really glad Grandma was there to distract him from my pain. And, moreover, it hurt ME to see him concerned about me. But--what I promised him was that we would call HIM first--not even grandma (although she listened in, darnit) to tell him about the baby, which we did. I was crying as we called him, and he was at the hospital in time to help the nurses give the baby a bath--so he saw his brother probably within a half an hour of his birth, which I absolutely loved.

My first reacting was "Oh my goodness-No!!" I have a 2 and 1/2 year old and a 6 month. My deliveries were extremely easy and I would still not have had my daughter there for the birth of my son. For one thing a 2 year old will want to be into everything. There will also have to be someone there to attend to them, which means less attention on helping you deliver your baby. I just don't think having a child there makes it any more special for them. They don't really understand birth and they don't need to for years. The might actually think negatively towards this baby who is putting their mom through so much pain.
We brought my daughter to see her brother as soon as she could and she loved seeing him and being a big sister. The transition was very smooth. I don't think that it would have been any better if she had be there for his birth.
I am sure that others may have different opinions, but I hope mine is helpful
~K.

I might have your daughter in the room with you until it was time to push and deliver the baby. Then a family member might take her to the waiting room and once you are all cleaned up they can come back in. It would be too much for someone of that age. My sister had a baby in July of last year and her kids were 11 and 9. They were in the room but it was pretty hard for the one to take. I hope this helps you out.

I had a three year old when my son was born. I had a plan of her being with me to experience the excitiment of birth. I asked a good friend to come also and be with her in another room when it got intense as a back up plan. Everything was in place. When I went into labor it all changed. I went in in the evening and my mom had just got into town and eneded up coming over to stay with my daughter. Once labor hit I was sooooo glad I just had myself to worry about. I had a natural birth and it really seems to take over in quite an unexpected way. The contractions and moaning and groaning would have spooked her. Once my son was born my mom came with my daughter to meet the little one..just in time to weigh him and get footprints ect. It was exciting for her even though she missed the labor and delivery details. Instead she was home playing with grandma. When she sees pictures of that day she askes" why wasn't I there mom?" I say," you were there for the fun part" and she then she goes on with her business. Good luck.

I think that there are somethings that a little one like that should not be exposed to. Also she will get into things and is that really something you want to deal with or have your coach deal with instead of helping you? Just have a family member wait with her either in the waiting room, or have them bring her over after you call after having the baby, and have her involved as much as possible after, and especially have her help bring him home from the hospital. My son was not that involved and he loves his little sister-most of the time.

It's nice that you want your daughter involved in the birth of your son, but in my opinion the delivery room is not the place for small children. Children do not like to see their mommies in pain, and you never know what emergencies could happen at any given moment that you don't want your little girl to see, or be afraid by. There are lots of ways to have your daughter get involved besides actually seeing mommy give birth. For instance, let her help in getting the baby's room ready. Also, teach her about what a big job she will have in being a big sister, and when the time comes, have Grandma, Daddy, or whoever take her to pick out some flowers for you and something cuddly for her new little brother to bring to the hospital. She will feel very big, and very much a part of things. Happy Pushing!!

My son was three when I had his brother. I don't think it's very good. There's a lot of blood coming from Mommy. You'll be in some pain and your two year old will see it and worry. My son didn't like seeing the IV in my arm or anything. I remember he cried.

Dear M.,
As a mother of six, I would not recommend including your 2 year old in the delivery room. My children were very aware of what was happening but it often happened after bed time and I was glad not to deal with an exhausted child while delivering a new baby. We used book therapy as delivery approached to talk about a new baby, wonder what he or she would look like, what babies could do or not do, preparing a space the new baby in our home, etc. YOur public library could suggest appropriate picture books to read together about new babies. I enjoyed delivers being just about me, my husband, and our new baby.:):)