Have U Let Your Other Children in Delivery Room

Way too young. She will be more interested in making the bed go up and
down, flushing the toilet, playing with the remote. At 2 1/2 they really do not
understand what is going on. It could be very frightening.

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I'll be having my almost 6 y/o home with me during the entire process of labor, transition and birth next month. She's very excited. With us being at home, her schedule doesn't have to alter much, won't have to worry about her getting bored and not having a place to nap or find some activities.

At the hospital... I'd have her come just after you reach 10 cm and birth is close. Being in a medical place where infection and bacteria is everywhere - she's bound to touch many things... as well as have no place to rest or pick out which activities she wants to do... so having her there for the WHOLE labor process will be kinda hard on her and then on you too because you'll feel like you'll have to help out with her when she has tantrums or is over tired being in a boring place with lots of noise.

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been thru some rough deliveries....so my vote is NO! I think the emerg c-section in the middle of a PIT drip was the worst.....NO way would I want a child to witness the level of drama from the time we lost the heartbeat to the actual surgery!

Anything can happen & do you really want your child to witness something possibly traumatic? Please remember the amount of blood, mucus, & wailing! That can be very, very scary to little ones! For some children, this is the equivalent to a R-rated horror movie!

Instead, I would recommend allowing your child the freedom to "visit" you in the delivery room...up until you say, "okay, now it's time to wait with..... The next time I see you, we will have our new baby." It's the easiest, kindest way to approach sharing delivery, I do believe! Peace.....

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When I had my second I would never have considered having my 2.5 yr old in the room. I have to go with no pain meds and I feel the need for major peace and calm in my life during labor, neither of which existed in my 2.5 yr old!! But as you can see, people are so different! I like going to the hospital, having my baby and having that first day with just my little one and my husband and parents, I mean people can come by for a quick visit, but I like to have a lot of peace around me at that time, then I am ready to go back into mom mode and receive guests etc. I will be having my third in November and I want the same, no kids until day 2 ;) Just one day with my newborn all for them and for me!! So I think if you want your daughter there it is fine, but I personally would not enjoy it. Good luck and congrats!!

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I would discourage you from including your daughter in the birthing process especially if you intend to have an unmedicated birth. Labor and birth is intense and very difficult to get through if your attention is divided especially without an epidural. Most times things go very well, but sometimes they do not. If you would require an emergency CS or have a traumatic birth (hemorrhage, baby's shoulders stuck behind pubic bone--shoulder dystocia, or need forceps/vacuum extraction) this beautiful event might turn very frightening especially for a young child.
I did not have my children in the room when I delivered subsequent children because that was a time of bonding with my husband, not my child. The bonding with my children and new baby came AFTER the delivery. If you do decide to have your little girl attend the delivery, PLEASE have another adult (other than your husband) fully responsible for her care in case she does not react well to the stress of the situation. Toddlers are unpredictable and need someone's undivided attention. Best wishes and congrats to you and your growing family. Nurse midwife mom of 3

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My children have all been present for my labor and delivery for each subsequent child. I'm pregnant with #7 and everyone from the 14 year old down to the 19 month old will be there.

Of course, I'll be at home, with just my husband, mother and the kids and I there, so it's a little different than a hospital delivery.

At 2 1/2, she'll be fine! PROVIDED you tell her plenty about what will happen, in advance. Let her know that Mommy will make some funny noises, and some scary noises, and that there will be all kinds of activity and action. Also prep her for the fact that there will be some blood. DON'T make a big deal about it, just let her know that it's part of bringing a new baby into the world.

Congratulations!

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My 5 yr old dd wanted to be there when i was having a baby. We let her but by the time i reached 9cm i was screaming and throwing an awful fit. I was in pain, but trying to go natural. My dad decided to take her out.
So just have someone that can take her out if need be.

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If the CHILD wants to be present then consider it. This is one activity I believe must be child-led. This means that he/she wants to go, knows what to expect, and can make the decision to back out at any time.

Also, if your child chooses to be present please be sure to have some sort of 'handler' for him/her. When it is time for you to focus on your contractions, your pain management, your pushing, you need to be able to focus all of your concentration on those activities - not yelling at your kid because she's squeezing the IV bag, pushing buttons or pulling paper on the fetal-heart monitor, or wanting to climb all over your lap.

There's no way on earth I would have wanted my child in the delivery room with me (he was nearly 3 at the time) because, no matter how natural of a process this was, I had no desire to divide my attention between my child on earth and my child in the womb. At the same time, other women have had their children present without any issues whatsoever.

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I had my three children at three different hospitals. None of them would allow other children to be there until after the baby was born, nor would have wanted them there. They don't need to see mommy in pain. It's scary for them and could scar them for life. Definitely NOT a good idea.

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Personally I think 2.5 is a little young. They get bored easily and she might get worried if you scream, wince, yelp, or whatever with pain. Kids have a hard time seeing their parents in pain and I think at 2.5 she doesn't really get the whole deal and it might upset her. I would have a babysitter of some sort bring her up shortly after delivery. My daughter was 2 when my son was born and she was thrilled to come and see him. She doted on him, hugged him, kissed him...all for about 10 minutes and then she was done! It probably wouldn't scar her or anything, but I think you and she both might be more at ease if she wasn't there!

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I had my first in there (she was 4 and really wanted to be there) when I had my second child. She thought it was incredible. If your little one wants to be there, go for it! What better way to learn about birth. My daughter's face and reaction was priceless. She still talks about it and she's 8.5 years old. She keeps asking to come to the other births, but it hasn't worked out. I had planned on her coming to baby #3, but labor ended up going super fast, and baby was born at 4am before she got to the birth center. The baby #4 was a c-section (complete previa, so it was planned) and she couldn't come. I'm having another c-section with #5, and she's already trying to figure out how to come.

You might consider showing her some births on youtube, just so she can get a little idea of what to expect.

I think it's a great idea. It's a special time and a natural part of life, why not let them learn about it by experience? As long as they want to, of course. And you need to okay with w/your doctor (or midwife). My doctor didn't care. And you'll need someone to keep an eye on her, of course! Good luck.

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I am all for siblings attending a natural birth, IF THEY WANT TO. When I had my 2nd baby, my daughter was 4 years old. We had a home birth, so we could have had anyone there that we wanted. Many people were surprised to learn that our daughter did not attend the birth. I was certainly open to it but the reason she did not attend was that she did not ask to. If she had asked, I would have allowed it. I don't think it should be mom's decision. If a child is old enough to want to attend, and is given proper preparation (this is not what sibling classes at the hospital do), then I think it's great. The child should have a separate adult companion who is not mom or dad, to meet their needs and who can take them out if they wish. Also, kids are there for the action, to see the birth, not sit through 6 or 10 or 16 hours of contractions, so I'd have her just come in when the head is visible. Good luck!!!!

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For me, I wont have my son in the room if I have another child. I just dont think its necessary. They werent there when the baby was made! Lol.
I think too, it would be traumatizing for a child to see there mother in pain, and possibly screaming, grunting and all that comes with labor and child birth, and its messy and, dont need to watch a child while I'm having a child.

I think its better to wait until afterward for the other children to see the new baby. Not during. Again for me, it's not a family affair.

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I think that's a little young to be present in the delivery room. Maybe the babysitter can bring her right in after you deliver (within a few minutes after things have settled down). Good luck and congratulations!!

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2 and a half seems a little young, because you cannot clearly explain everything to her. If you cry out in pain, then her sister is born, what are her reactions to her sister likely to be? If there are complications, will she be whisked out of the room - and what will she imagine if that is the case; staying in the room is really no better an option (if there is a complication). If she were 7 or 8, I think it might be more reasonable, but I really think she is far too young to experience this without the context and understanding.

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I would never have my kids witness that. It may be natural but its painfilled, messy and a little kid will not understand that. also most hospitals will not let anyone other than 1 adult with you.

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Nope, heck no! I was kinda busy when I had my children, exactly who would have been watching my son?

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I think it's a great idea! I intended for my older son to be present at our second child's birth (planned home birth), but I ended up being a lot further along than I thought and hadn't called the midwife in time for her to get there so my mom was flipping out, and at the last minute took my son (and all my nieces and nephews who had happened to be there - we were living at my mom's house) to my sister's house next door, so he missed it, but was back in almost immediately.

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My daughter will be 2 1/2 when i deliver her little brother and she will DEFINITELY be in the room with us! My husband was present for both of his sisters births and thats a memory he's glad he has! Plus it made him feel more involved with what was going on. We actually plan on having her (and husband) cut the umbilical cord together. We can't wait!

And my daughter has been to see me after surgery and knows that mommy isn't hurt, even if I'm upset and daddy tells her I'm fine she knows everything is good. Explain the FHM to her and what everything does, she'll understand a lot more than you think. Plus we yell a lot in our house playing around so if I'm like "ARRRRGGHHH!" on that final push then she'll probably just laugh at me. Do what you think you want to and don't let anyone talk you out of it!

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My niece and nephew (2ish & 4ish) were both there for the birth of my son. It was pretty key that SOMEONE ELSE had full care of them for the entire process. So they kept them entertained and elsewhere during most of my laboring, and was there talking them through the birth. There is no way I could have spared the attention for them. Both thought it was 'super cool!', thought it was funny their cousin was naked, were pretty non-plussed (okay, so this is how that works), and in explaining it later to Gramma and Grampa who came after the birth "R. had a big owee.".

My oldest two were in the delivery room with me the whole time. They were 17 and 20 years old at the time! The 17 year-old (girl) said it was the "best birth control ever!" and the 20 year-old benefited from his experience when only a two years later, his wife was giving birth in a foreign country.

I do have friends who have had young children in the room with them. I'm not sure I would do that, as I think I made a lot of noise :-) But possibly if there had been someone there with them to monitor how they were doing with it, and take them out for breaks as needed.

I think it depends on a lot of factors. First are you planning a natural birth or somewhat natural. I think it could be scary for her to see you hooked up to wires and all kinds of monitors. Also is your doctor or midwife on board they need to know not to be yelling using scary instruments etc. Also are you ready to prepare her for what will actually happen. You might be making scary noises, bleeding, grunting etc. Do you think this will be scary for her to see.

If you have thought about all these things and the answer is still yes you want her there start preparing her now. My mom has a children's book that was written in the 80's that she read to my older sister to prepare her for my birth. This book mentions all the things I just said in kids language. It also has a cartoon picture of a babies head crowning. It also talks about how mom might not be paying attention to big sister and that this is okay. If you prepare her and you are still feeling like she should be there you need to find another adult NOT YOUR HUSBAND who will be there just for your daughter. She may get scared and need to leave the room this adult needs to be someone that your daughter can trust that will be responsible for only her. You need to be able to let go and know that this person will be able to handle your daughter in an emergency. If things go south you need to have a plan for how it should be handled and make sure that this adult is fully prepared to take her out of the room in a hurry.

Lastly my sister who is 5 years older than me says she still remembers my birth. My mom had planned for a natural birth in a hospital with a midwife (in the 80's). She ended up needing an epidural after over 24 hours in labor. After pushing for hours I ended up being a forceps delivery. My sister said that she was scared and a little upset at seeing the forceps and how "violent" it was (remember she was 5 so she didn't understand). Of course as an adult she is happy that she was able to see me come into the world but as a child the best decision might have been to have her leave the room when it appeared that the delivery might not be "normal".

In conclusion if you will be having a normal natural delivery sure let her come in with a trusted adult. If things don't turn out the way you had planned maybe you could take a video that could be shown to her when she is old enough to understand.

My ob/gyn was against our almost 6 yr old daughter at the time being present just incase there were any complications. We didn't anticipate anything going wrong, however my youngest daughter's sugar bottomed out upon birth due to my diabetes and she had to go to the NIC unit for about a week immediately after delivery so it would've been a scary situation for my oldest to have been there when all of these nurses/dr's came rushing in. Maybe a friend of a relative could bring her up to see her baby brother/sister before anyone else gets there so they can have some alone time and as a special treat you could help her make a "I'm the big sister" shirt to wear that day. We did that w/my daughter and she loved it. Best of luck to you!

I don't think it's a good idea. I don't know that she's old enough to understand all she will see and frankly for someone that small it could be 'gross' or 'scary'. I don't know how much you plan on her seeing, but sometimes when kids that little see Mommy in pain they get upset. Or she may get in the way. If she were being held by Grandma so that she's not seeing all that's going on, perhaps then. I just don't see the need myself. I've had 5 and I didn't take any of my children with me although the eldest was 13 when the youngest was born. Just didn't feel she was ready for that.

Yes. My daughter and I flew to WV to be with my sister during her labor. I allowed my daughter to be in the room. She was 11 at the time.She enjoyed seeing it all (from waist up)

I think 2.5 is a little young. I would never consider letting my kids in with me. I don't want them to see me in pain or see other stuff! What if something goes wrong then what? In my opinion I dont' think it's a good idea.

I would consider it, but 2.5 is a bit young to be there for the entire time, it will probably be boring and she will lack the understanding why you are in pain, if you are going drug free. But if you have a sitter for her there (in addition to your support person) you could have her peak in and out depending on how she feels about it.

If you intend to have an epidural, I don't see why she can't be there while you are in labor and then maybe grab a snack with a sitter outside while her baby sibling is actually born. I was with my sis when she was in labor with an epi and all we did was sit around and watch TV. I know it's still a big thing for the mom, but as a "spectator" it was very unspectacular...

I had a drug free birth with my daughter that was quite brief. I would have an older child with me no question. I had a great experience and I think a child who is old enough to understand the mechanics of childbirth and is well prepared for the event could have a great experience.

Good luck!