Twins!! - Santa Rosa,CA

I'm 25 and I have 16 month-old twin boys. They have recently started playing with each other and making life easier (although the tantrums started way before age 2!). I belong to MPPOM - it's a twins group in the Bay Area - I'd highly recommend it - mppom.org.

Hi N.,
I have twins girls who are 18 months old. I must say it is very challenging but it does get better. Like yourself I have very little support and I work full time as well. So I know how you feel. The only advice I have is try and find a routine that works for you and stick to it everyday no matter how tired you may be. Taking care of twins is very exhausting but as they get older and used to a schedule it will get better and you will have moments to yourself to regroup. Hang in there!

R.

At that age the babies depend on you so much it is all you can do to feed, clean, nap and then get your hands free so you can do other things around the house. My twins are almost two and a half years old. I know what you mean about dividing up your time. I usually did everything in batches, so I was spending time with both of them all the time. I still do everything that way. It's very rare the twins spend any time apart. Occasionally I will take one with me on an errand and leave the other one home, but honestly, I'd rather take both or neither one. They miss eachother! It's cute. Twins have such a special bond.

Are you part of a Mother's of Multiples club in your area? I joined one in Sacramento (SMOM) but I'm not that into it. I am thinking about joining AWEMOMs (At Wits End Mothers Of Multiples) local to the city I live in, in Elk Grove. Feel free to send me a private message. I am a stay at home mom for my twins as well. My email address is T. at droflet.net I'd be happy to answer any of your questions as they come up! I just love talking about twins!

Nicole, it will be like that for a while. I'd say until they're about 18 months. That's when mine started playing with each other and I was more able to spend time teaching, reading, playing with them.
I hope you have a schedule for them for drinking and sleeping. That makes things a whole lot easier, at least it did for me.
good luck

hi there fellow mama of twins

you're just about to the part where things get fun, really fun

those boys can now be put down to play, leaving you with more time to do everything else, which could be why you think you're not getting enough learning time in, but they are learning every day about their world, themselves, how to function in it

soon, you'll find you don't have something pressing and you can get down on the floor with them and play

just talk to them as much as you can, make sure you reassure them with your presence as you buzz about, praise their accomplishments

start reading to them, let them turn pages, bat at the book, taste the book

your pediatrician will probably if he/she hasn't already suggest you start solids, there's another great learning time for them. and when you do... be very patient... its a mess. and when you start, try one baby at a time. before you know it, you'll have that routine down too

good luck

nice to have *met* you

Nicole~
Have you checked out to see if your town has a local non profit organization for moms of multiples? I know being the president of my group in Northern Nevada, this group has helped me a lot with my twins. It is always nice to talk to others with the came concerns. My 2 are 2 1/2, and I do remember that 4 months was a hard time for us, but it does get better. Look up your local chapter and see what you can find, believe me this will help you.

Good Luck!

hi N., i have 16 1/2 month old fraternal twin girls. i think the first 3 weeks were an awful blur, but after that... i think i am just now starting to get the hang of this. they are so different and for the most part that makes caring for them so much easier. when they are sick and both need mommy time at the same time, that's when it gets challenging! good luck!

Congratulations N.!!

I have 16 month old fraternal twin girls.

My twins were born at 32 weeks and were in the NICU for two weeks. It was easy taking care of then when my hubby and I had to drive to Modesto to see them every night.

The tiring and very hard began when we brought our precious girls home.

Let me say we did not get a bit of sleep the first 6 months.
We were tired all the time....they feeding schedule was up and down, they did not like being diaper changed or clothe changed.

They cried all the time, they began teething at 5 months.

It was a good thing my Dad and Mom were helping us since they lived in West Covina. They stayed two weeks each month and we would feed on shifts.

Just expect to not get any rest until your twins reach 6-9 months.

At 4 months, they still like to be wrapped in those baby swaddlers you can get from Babies R Us.

When Abby and Emma were 5 months, they each got their own cribs and this is the way it has been ever since.

If you don't have to go out with the twins, don't. I am finding out even at 16 months, on my own, how difficult it is.
Especially now that they walk, they do not want to be in their stroller or highchairs, but walking all over the place.

They either cry and get fussy because they are teeting (getting molars) or they are sleepy.

I wish I lived closer to you N..

Are you a member if the twins club in your area?
Here is the national website: http://www.nomotc.org/index.php?option=com_clubsearch&amp...

I do have friend who lives in Napa? and she just had fraternal boy/girl twins two weeks ago. Maybe you two can get connected from this website. I will let her know about you and your twins.

N., I prayed for twins all my little girl life. By no means am I selfish. The Lord granted my prayer and I am so very blessed indeed. When I say do not go out with them, this is for your sanity.

The older they get, I am just praying it will get easier. It has to, right?

My twins are the best and my only children. I would not change a thing, except to go back to when they were preemies. I miss their preemiehood.

My hubby and I were so very tired, I did not have a chance to enjoy Abby and Emma as preemies and infants.

God Bless,M.

Hi Nicole, I have 18 month old twin girls, and it is still exausting! but worth every minute. I heard a saying that God only gives twins to selfish women. I agree. You NEED to take some time for yourself. feed them at the same time, naps at the same time. If one wakes up in the middle of the night to eat, wake the other one up. It may sound harsh but the time when they are both asleep is your time to regain your sanity. I am a SAHM, and sometimes I just need to get away. Since you have no family close by hopefully your husband helps ( I am spoiled, my husband does a lot). If not explain to hime you need some time too. As you watch the bond between them develop it all becomes worth it. Twins are amazing and I dont think anyone understands each other the way twins understand each other. If you have any questions mama source is a great life line to have. Hopefully some of this was helpful.

Hi N. -

I'm G., the mom of 20 month old fraternal twin boys...I promise it gets easier ! Not having help is tough...I was fortunate enough to have help, my Mom hired us a nanny for 8 months, so I was able to sleep when she came at 7am, since I was up all night with them most of the time!
I applaud you doing it on your own I NEVER would have made it)! Most of our family is out of state and my mom doesn't fly so the nanny was all we had thank goodness!!!!
All I can say is GET THEM ON A SCHEDULE...the sooner you do it the more time you will have to sleep!!
My cousin who has 2 girls had me get them on a feeding and sleeping schedule!
ALWAYS feed the together, one after the other or prop them up on pillows and feed the at the same time.
Are you nursing or bottle feeding?
Nursing doesn't last very long with twins, I pumped while my boys were in the NICU for 5 weeks, (they were 8 weeks early and luckily VERY healthy, just needed to grow), once they came home, they were on bottles with formula ( so much easier)!
Make sure you feed them well they're last feeding before bed, the more they eat, the longer they willl sleep!
I kept a feeding schedule, I think at that age it was every 4 hours or so , then it becomes less aften as they get older. If you know when they need to eat and sleep, it gives you more time to rest.
Don't worry about the develpmental part, they'll get enough...put them on the play mat with all the overhead toys. Also, the swing they loved ( I borrowed my neighbors so I had two, my guys slept in them all the time!!
Baby Einstein videos are GREAT we collected the whole library of them...very educational...check E Bay, everyone re-sells them so they're cheaper!!!

Please feel free to ask me ANY questions you want...I'd be happy to help you any way I can!!!

G....
Mom of Matthew & Dylan

Hi N., I don't have mulitiples, but I know a family that does and what they do is get involved, I don't know if your military or not, but there's a lot of stuff to do, free stuff with small kids, write back if you need more information. D.

Hi N.! My name is C., I'm 26. I was wondering if you live in or around the Hemet area. I have a free mom's group and a couple of moms your age are in the group that have twins. I'm also expecting fraternal twin boys in June. If you want to join the group go to: http://playgroup.meetup.com/489
I don't have any advice yet, but maybe you could give me some!!! :-)

Well I dont have twins, But I have seen quiet alot of things at babies'r'us pertaining to multipuls. I got a hands free bottle for my daughter since my family lives more than 3 hours away and I visit as often as I can, It worked like a dream for the car ride, It takes a minute or two to learn how to get it going but once you do I can only imagine it would make feeding your twins alot easier on you and feeding them on the same time. It works alot like a pacifier, The nipple is on one end connected to a long tube which goes into the bottle with another tube that goes to the bottom of the bottle to cut down on air in-take. They sell them almost ready to go (Just have to sterilize them) and ones that will work with your bottles except for a couple brands. I gave one to my cousin who had a preemie and a 13 month old little boy, She'd be able to feed her in her boppy and still be able to do things with her son. I know a bouncer helped alot with my daughter, I'd put the bouncer in the bathroom with me and take a shower, so I was still able to keep my eye on her and take care of myself at the same time. As for developmental time, I talked to my daughter all the time, wether it was saying what sounds were, the abc's Months of the year song, or reading books and singing, Shes already aquierd a bit of a vocabulary, Very much the chatter bug with her favorite words being "Whats this?" and believe it or not "Thank you" You dont have to set aside a certain time to expand your childs mind, since you have 2 of them it might seem almost impossible. Like I said, I dont have twins, But my best piece of advice is to take it as easy as possible, dont stress the small things and kids are resiliant.. they pick things up like sponges.

Hi Nicole,
I have 21/2 B/G twins. I found a book called " THe Happiest Baby on the Block" and the advise worked wonders for me. Getting them on the same schedule was a God send too! If one wakes up to eat....wake the other one up too and feed them both. I love my Mothers Of Mults group too. If you are in the LA area...check us out at www.cvmom.org. We are located in Conejo Valley. Support is always wonderful. You are not alone. The first year of their life was a total blur for me.I loved the exersaucers and doorway bouncers and of course the Baby Einstein's. Don't worry....they won't remember! All they care about is eating, sleeping and pooping right now. Good Luck!
M.

For the record...My family is also in another state and I had no help either. You do what you have to do and it really does get easier!

Hi N.,
I too am a mother of twins! Congratulations! And just let me start off by saying that it does get easier!! Mine are 7 now. Anyway, I just thought I would let you know that a wonderful support to me was finding a Mothers of Twins/Triplets group in my area. I am still a member today. I don't know what area you live in, but there is one in Sacramento (SMOMS) that meets once a month and if you go to the website you can get more info. (www.sacramentomothersofmultiples.org) They have 4-5 family events each year and Moms Nights Out and Out & About events during the week for SAHM's and their kids. Also, Park/Play dates, etc. It's really great to be around other MOMS (mothers of multiples) and be able to ask questions and get advice about feeding, co-bedding, when to separate, etc.

If you live in Elk Grove, at the bottom of the SMOM website, there is a link to the Elk Grove clubs website. They are called At Wits End MOMS. There is also a link to the Northern CA Assoc. of Mothers of Twins Clubs. If you click on that link, you will be directed to a page where you can find a local club in whatever area of Northern CA you live in, if you are not in the Sacramento area at all.

I wish you the best of luck! Enjoy your multiple blessing! They are a miracle! Peace, Love and Twins! ~ J. ~