Mom Having Triples Needs Advice

My friend had triplets in February. She says there is a great multiples website and had networked with a lot of other moms. If you would like you could email her and she would love to answer any questions for you ____@____.com

I don't have triplets but my friend does. She is very busy but she says it's the best thing that ever happened to her. Soooo CONGRATS! The one thing I remember her saying is that always buy in threes if you can and eat a lot of casserole dishes that way you only have one pan. My suggestion.... paper plates!! LOL! She did say it's not that much diff once you get past the bottles. She had a lot of schedules too for feeding early on. That way each kid was fed before they were hungry. Less crying. Good luck.

I have triplets, too! Congratulations :) :) :)
Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples Club in Silicon Valley is a wonderful organization www.geminicrickets.org
If you live in that area, please join. In the meantime, please keep in touch. I know you must be busy, but if you have any questions or concerns, I'd love to help.

Hi R.,

Congrats on the triplets!! I too have triplets (now 10 years old) and like you I already had 3 other children. When I found out I was having triplets my other children were 4, 7 and 10. When you have older children, I learned that it is completely different than someone having just the triplets. The main advice from everyone at that times was too put the triplets on a a schedule and stick to it. The problem is unless you have lots of help that is impossible to do when you have older kids with activities. I had help two days a week for the first two years. But on those other days I had to manage all 6 kids by myself, so it was impossible to get the triplets on a schedule. My husband had to work a lot during that time to pay the bills since our family size doubled unexpectedly so he wasn't able to be there during the days. I had a kindergardener to pick up midmorning. Then a few hours later, the older ones needed to be picked up. Then we had soccer or baseball practice or gym class. I didn't want to miss out on the older kids lives, so I did it all. My triplets learned to sleep on the go - in the car, in the stroller, etc. I kept them up later than the other kids so I could have some good one on one time with them. This kept them sleeping longer in the am so I could get the older ones ready for school. They learned to sleep in a noisy environment which came in very handy with all our outings. I did all those things that you are told not to do. I propped bottles, kept them up late, they all had warm milk in bottles every am until they were 2-1/2, we didn't rush potty training (they were 3), our house was a disaster with toys and laundry, and now they are all happy, healthy, cavity free, 10-year olds. So my advice is to get in contact with the Triplet Connection. They are a great resource and I read each issue of their magazine cover to cover. But don't feel guilty when you are not able to do "it" the way others do. Everyone's situation is different. I am sure I had a lot of negative remarks made about the way I handled my kids. But I feel good that I was able to be there for "all" of my children and we had fun. It all works out. It has been a joy having the triplets. So treasure every minute. Get lots of rest because it is exhausting. Takes lots of pics because the first years will fly by. Take any help that is offered. It will not be unusual to be on bedrest soon into your pregnancy. (I was hospitalized for 2 months prior to the trip. birth to keep me off of my feet) so you might want to start thinking about help for the other kids before the triplets are born. Most importantly don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck to you!!

Never had multiples myself, but after working in daycare.. where we take care of up to four infants at a time... my best advice is to have everything as ship-shape as possible before their arrival so you can concentrate totally on your six children and their needs without having to worry about all the other things. If you have a freezer, make ahead meals would be a great idea. Also, if you have a good support group of family and friends, DO accept any offered help. Think ahead of time what specific things you might suggest they do when they ask "how can we help?" and graciously allow them to enjoy this special addition to your family. Some ideas for help to suggest... transport your older children to an activity when you are overwhelmed with the little ones. come in and do a load of laundry or watch the children for an hour so you can get a little well-deserved nap. Give them a grocery list and let them shop for you. Let people make a meal to bring by... hopefully you'll have those provided by caring people for at least the first two weeks anyway. And above all, be sure you connect with people you can call when you just need to talk and get re-charged.

One other thing... all the pre-prep suggestions I made... accept outside help getting all that done too.

Congrats R.!

I'm days away from getting my twins via c-section, and my only advice to you is this (because I have no idea how it's going to go, or how well I've set up the house) . . . .

People say the STRANGEST things when they find out you are having multiples - just don't let it get to you - I've heard everything from, "Oh my god, how awful!, I could never do that!" to "Someone up there must think you can handle it."

Anyhoo . . . just a quick warning- I found that to be the most annoying part of a multiples pregnancy and wanted to one, congratulate you, and two, to tell you that when people say crazy things to you, to tell them that you're so lucky, you started playing the lotto.

Congrats!

Congrats! I don't have multiples, but I know someone who has quads. Check out her blog. It has links that might be useful and great stories. I only have one, but reading her blog always puts things into perspective. She has a great sense of humor and outlook on life. Her blog is mcnultyquads.blogspot.com

~A.

I would think the first thing to do is plan for a good possibility of medical bedrest. You could get put on bedrest very early at 5-6 mos so you will need to figure out how to manage your other children/household while you are laid up.

Then you'll need HELP the first several months I would think. Help with chores, help with baby care, and most importantly help with childcare. Your youngest child will need someone dedicated to him/her especially at first. Your youngest will only be ~14 months tops when the triplets are born and that is a LOT of change! Having a dedicated person for him will help him to adjust.

Those are my thoughts.

My friend had triplets earlier this year. She is in the Sacramento area. She joined Mom's of Multiples and said it really helped her to learn about the challenges of having triplets and it also gave her the opportunity to get a lot of great advice. Good Luck!

Congratulation, you propably know without my advice, you need to take a lot of safe nutritional supplements. God bless.916 944 46 75 A..

Join a Multiples club. Google it for your area.

Congrats R. & Family! I highly recommend that you get involved with the Triplet Connection and your local multiple support group. You'll find that both will give support in different areas. I'm mom to triplet 9 yr. old girls and think it is a blast. One of the things that we found worked well, was when someone came over to take care of the babies, we had them do a chore or two, like dishes, laundry (through in a load to wash or take out of the dryer and fold), we had picked this up through the people from the Triplet Connection and the shows on tv. Yes, you will need rest and yes, you will want an occasional dinner-date with your hubby, but in the beginning by doing this chore to hold a baby, you can get some one on one time with each baby, something that isn't so easy when you taking care of everyone and everything. Even if it isn't a chore and if its just that they watch over the other kids for awhile or if the visitor will do both, then it works out even better. It was suggested to us to do a chore chart, but that never happened. The other thing I can highly recommend is the night nurse if you can. Once again congratulations and best wishes with your new family of six! Be sure to go the Triplet Connection.com and get all the info that you need and start communicating with others there. You'll find some really awesome stories of what worked and what didn't and you'll find other families with as many children or even more then you have. This will give you a greater insight to having three kids plus triplets. Best wishes & God Bless you.

R.,

Congratulations! This is such an exciting and probably overwhelming time for you~ YOu sound like a wonderful MOM~:)

Here are some suggestions for you to think about:

Get help lined up for when you bring the babies home

They may not all come home at the same time, so be prepared for that emotionally-it can be hard to have them come home a week or two apart.

Contact Mothers Of Multiples-- They are truely wonderful and could give you support and advice because they have been there!

Start stocking your freezer with frozen meals- and ask others to help you. It will keep you sane if you have made some meals that can just be taken out of the freezer etc.

REST Whenever you can! Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Congratulations to you and your family~ May you have a wonderful pregnancy and safe delivery.

Molly

Join your local Multiples club. Having multiples is totally different than having a singlet. If you are here in Marin go to MPOMC.org it a wonderful resource.

How great!
I have 21 month old triplet girls! It's exciting, scary, trying and wonderful all at the same time. I am a member of the SactoTripletsnmore yahoo group. (the McNulty quads mentioned in another message are members as well) Look it up and request to join!
I would say the biggest thing to do now is get your nursery ready! You might go on bedrest as early as 15 weeks! (I did at 19 weeks) So do as much as you can now! Enlist help from neighbors/family/church groups. I know that's hard, but you will need it. Gosh, there are so many other things...
If you ever have questions, please don't hesitate to ask me!
Take it easy and enjoy your miracle pregnancy!!
-Chelsey
ggg 12/27/06

I worked with a lady who had triplets, and she talked about a organization of mothers with triplets in the Sacramento area. I searched AOL for mothers with triplets and found several listings, so you might want to go on-line to find a local group.

Congratulations to you!

As a mom of twin 8-mo old girls, my situation does not really compare to yours -- triplets and older children too, wow! -- but I can share some thoughts. Having multiples is hard -- but so worth it.

1. *Get help*. The fatigue is incredible. If you can afford it, or if you have supportive family members who can pitch in, I recommend adding an extra pair of arms to your household for at least 6 months -- we planned for 6 weeks of night help and a daytime pt nanny for the first year, and we had to extend the night help until almost 6 months. We still have help during the day which allows me to keep my household running and truly love my time with my girls. Remember, you can't really push a shopping cart and a multiples stroller so unlike singleton moms, you need some help if you want to do the simplest stuff like grocery shopping. Truly think about the night help before the babies come... a lot of people think it is too "princessy", but frequently you will finish feeding and putting the last one to sleep just in time for the next one to wake up, so there is zero sleep for you in between feedings ... and this goes on for hours. A few nights with a break where someone takes over one feeding with bottles or even just brings the babies to you and then changes them for you will help you make it through.

2. *Don't be so h*** o* yourself*. Obviously, you must be a rock star mom because you are managing 3 already, but with multiples, you often can't do things as "perfectly" as you would if you had just one. So you do your best to get by. For example, I was not able to exclusively breastfeed. I had to supplement from the beginning bc I didn't have enough milk and what I did have dried up after 4 months. I was so so down about this. Thank goodness my pediatrician is a mom of twins. It helped to have a dr. tell me that it is *very* rare for a multiple mom to exclusively breastfeed. Nobody told me this before the babies! Certainly, you don't read this on any lactation sites or hear it from the lactation consultants. I hadn't even thought about formula or bottles prior. I did my best to give them what I could through 4 months but was supplementing from the very beginning so that they would gain weight and get strong. People still made me feel bad about this, though, with unintentional, insensitive comments.

3. *It may take longer to reach milestones*. Because you have to optimize the equation for multiple babies vs. just 1 baby, you often have to make compromises. For example, when she wakes fussing in the middle of the night, I know I should let my one of my girls try to settle herself down rather than going in right away, but if I wait too long then the other one will wake and I will be up trying to get 2 babies back to sleep. So, I tend to go into their room pretty quickly if they cry bc at 3 am it is just easier to soothe one baby quickly than to have to deal with 2 fussies. Thus, we are working toward sleeping better during the night but it is a little slower than with one baby. That's ok.

4. *Miscellaneous*. I have a pack n play set up in a nearby room so that I can move one baby during the middle of the night / early morning to a separate room if she gets too fussy (happens less and less at 8 mos). I also use this pack n play for naps because, despite what they say and how much you try, you can't always get them to sleep at the exact same time. One of mine takes nice long naps and sleeps later in the morning. The other takes 30 - 45 min naps and wakes a little earlier. They are different people.

Anyway, there is probably other stuff but, for now, congratulations. Bottom line is to get help, be generous with yourself knowing that you are doing the best you can, and remember that the babies will be fine. For me, I found things got much better after 4 months when we were able to drop the middle of the night feeding. Until then, I loved, loved, loved my babies but it was tough and I was extra tired.

Feel free to email me if you have any questions.

L.

Hi R.,

Congratulations and oh my goodness. I am not a Mom of triplets, but a friend of mine who has twins suggested that you contact the Marin Parents of Multiples Club. They can be reached through their website at http://www.mpomc.org/

Good luck.
D.

Hey R.!!!! OMG!!! Congrats!!!
I'm so delighted for you, and God has blessed you enormously!! I was just reading all the advice you have rec'd so far, and I have to say- you are loved. There is a lot of support here and getting online support is sometimes all we need. Don't hesitate to have your older kids help out as well, they can warm up a few bottles here and there, change a few diapers, and omg!! of course, they can entertain these babies just by beeing there.. thank God that you have them to lean on!! Take advantage of that, and most of all--- enjoy all the blessing you have and will continue to have. Also, at the hospital there is a lot of resource there to support multiples so inquire there as well. Sometimes you can get free diapers/formula/even carseats free for the 1st year-- so do inquire there and at your nearest WIC program. Good luck.. take care.

Wow!!! Congratulations!! I have twin boys (11 months) and a 2 1/2 year old son. It was really hard at first because it seems like you are needed by everyone at all times. My husband and I were able to figure out a system in the beginning where we actually took shifts at night so one could sleep. I think in your situation you will need extra help, if not with the babies then with carting the older kids to different activities etc. With multiples you may have to be on bed rest and also once the babies are born you may have to stay somewhat secluded at home until they are a few months old. Mine were premature and after a stay in the NICU I had to keep them home during RSV season. My best advice is to acknowledge that you only can do so much and get help. Everyone will understand! Be specific because people want to help but are vague about when and what they can do. If you have a piece of paper with needs/wants then you can say "why, actually if you can do blank and blank that would be great..." Also, keep check of your feelings. I had post partum depression and was having a hard time. I was able to go on medication and after a short time felt so much better. Your triplets and your other young baby are going to be the best of playmates very soon. Congratulations again and best wishes!

R. check into your local club for twins or multiples. In San Jose area, there are several, a great one is Gemini Crickets. Get involved now as you can bond with other expecting moms, get advice on what products work best & how to survive your multiples. Many clubs also offer a meal or 2 to be delivered after your babies arrive & a marketplace will people post their for sale & want to buy items. It's a great resource. Good luck & congrats!
Pam H. SAHM to twin girls, 15 months, Madison & Sydney

Hi R.!! I was excited to read your request as I am a fellow mom of triplets! Of course, each situation is so unique - as is each child - but I'd love to share a little bit about what helped us make it through that first year. We had a two and a four-year-old when our triplets were born so we had a very busy house - as do you (wow - going to 6!!)
First of all, I would strongly suggest checking on the triplet connection website. They have great advice and support. Also, take advantage of any coupons for diapers that you can! We had several things given to us at the hospital and ended up with several months of free diapers and - later- formula.
The best thing we did was to hire a night nurse for one month while I recovered and got some rest. It was a lot of money, but well worth it. I felt sane and somewhat rested so that I was able to spend quality time with the 5 kids during the day.
We also set up a notebook with spreadsheets - there was one page for each day and for each child. It had wake time, went down time, any medication, how much they ate, when they pooped, etc. It may sound crazy - but it was a huge help! As people came in to help with holding or feeding - everyone was able to reference each child's "sheet" to know exactly how much to feed or when to feed, if the baby was tired from a short nap, etc. Since my husband and I also had a hard time remembering who had done what :) it was wonderful for us to reference as well. Our triplets are now seven, and our binder full of their "sheets" is a special keepsake for all of us.
e-mail me any time if you'd like to chat more. I know more recent triplet moms are an even better resource, but I'm here for you too. You are in for such an incredible journey. Our two boys and girl are so incredibly close and we feel very very blessed to have them in our family.
J.
____@____.com

Hi R.,
Congrats! I can't imagine what is going through your head. I have a close friend in Danville with triplets that just turned 3 last month. Don't konw where you live but she is in a twins/triplets club and keeps very busy with other mom's. Let me know where you live and maybe I can get you in touch with her. She is wonderful, lots of fun down to earth and a great mom.

Good Luck!

SAHM 39, super active 2.5yo boy and 2 month old boy that doesn't sleep at night. Love being a mom. When i have time i like to do yardwork, cook and drink good wine.

Hi R.,
Congratulations! How exciting! Do contact your local multiples club. I belong to Tri-City MoMs in South Bay (Fremont, Union City, Newark). http://www.tricitymoms.org. There are online groups for parents of triplets, and you'll find a list of multiples clubs in Northern CA, here: http://ncamotc.homestead.com/memberclubs.html

Twin-Valley Mothers of Twins club serves San Ramon. Their Web site is www.tvmotc.org

Philippa

R.,
WOW!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!
I have 3 kids (two grown, one still at home) that I love dearly BUT.......a 9yr old,6 yr old,5 months & now triplets!!!!!!God Bless You. It sounds like the best advice would be "get help"!! From members of your church or another group you may belong to. How about hiring a part time nanny for the first few months? I don't know if that is affordable for you or not?
I work full time, mon -fri or I would offer assistance....
It sounds like you have a good support system, and DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE IT.....
I hope I don't sound rude, and I know you are probably already overwhelmed with this news but all I can think clearly is WOW>>>>
There are several books out about how to prepare for multiples. I also really enjoy that tv show on discovery channel....jon & kate plus 8....they show a family of multiples. I think they may also have a website where you can ask questions of them??? Those parents seem to really have it together,even when they don't.
Again, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!lisa

Hi R., Congratulations on your babies. I have 2 sets of twins. Multiples are a blast. Check out twinstuff.com, there is forum for mothers of multiples, not just twins. It was wonderful for me while I was pregnant and after. Good luck with your little ones.