To Circumcise or Not Circumcise?

Had to share a funny story. My husband and I disagreed on the decision. He wanted to circumcise because he is and thought his son had to look like him. I thought it was unnecessary. Turns out that the Catholic hospital that we gave birth at wouldn't do it anyway, so I told my husband that if he wanted it done he would have to take care of getting it done. Our regular ped. didn't want to see the baby until he was 2 wks old, and then told my husband that it was too late (He said it was best to do it when the baby is first born). Anyway, my husband was devestated, and told his parents who responded... "Well, your father isn't circumcised". My husband is 38 yrs old and had never noticed that his father didn't look like him, so I think the argument to do it so they look like Daddy is really stupid. Now my husband is fine with the outcome, and my little boy is perfect.

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You've definitely hit on one of the hottest-button issues!

I'll state upfront that we weighed the options, and we decided to circumcise our sons.

I also think that the position of the AAP needs to be clarified. Their position (which you can read here: http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/ped...) is that:

"Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. In the case of circumcision, in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child's current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child."

While that statement is not a recommendation for infant circumcision, it is definitely NOT a statement opposing circumcision. In fact, it acknowledges that the data indicates that there are potential medical benefits, just that those benefits aren't sufficient to recommend routine circumcision.

For us, it was a difficult decision, and we did look carefully at the evidence and at the experiences of other families. We did not make the decision based on what dad looked like or aesthetics. The two issues that tipped the balance for me were the experience of other families and the issue of adult circumcision.

We talked with several friends who had boys, and based on their experience with the issue of personal hygiene and boys, they advised circumcision. Sure, not every uncircumcised boy gets infections, but the risk is higher. And while you might try to teach your son good hygiene habits, will they really practice them all the time -- especially in those years from say 6 to 13 when you're no longer helping them with bathing and toileting, but they aren't that interested in doing a careful job? My friends' answer to that question was "no", and now that one of my sons is in that age range, I'd agree.

I also remember reading that if the father was circumcised, it might be more difficult for him to teach his sons the proper care of their uncircumcised penises. While this makes sense to me, I assumed that if we decided not to circumcise, we'd be able to get the information we needed.

We also considered the issue of circumcision as an adult (or even as an older child), whether for medical or religious reasons. It's a far more serious procedure then. The AAP statement also addresses this issue.

Although the issues of penile cancer and STDs also favor infant circumcision, these issues did not play much of a role in making our decision.

Ultimately, you have to make the decision that feels right for you and your husband. I understand why people would choose not to circumcise, and I respect their decisions. I think there are WAY too many people who are willing to criticize the decisions others make on these hot-button issues (like breast-feeding or vaccination), and that's not helpful for anyone.

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hi,
i have 2 intact boys, one 12 years old and one 21 months. neither have had any problems. on the other hand, 2 of my nephews were circumcised and they both ended up with infections and issues with residual scar tissue. i had a video i watched that cemented my decision. it's called intact facts. my older son never had the problem about not looking like his father, we just explained that was what was done in the past, he only felt compassion for his dad. i figure that any procedure such a that in which it can not be undone was a decision my sons would make as adults if they decided to. i never wanted to regret it. good luck! my friends have three boys also that are intact without any problems. their doctor asked them why they would consider it....

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Hi Mary,
Even though we are Jewish, I was unsure what I wanted to do about circumcision w/ my son. My husband felt strongly that we should, but I was having a difficult time with it. Two things ended up pushing me towards doing it: 1) he would look like his dad, which can be important I guess (to which one I don't know, quite frankly), and, more significantly, 2) if he wanted to be circumcized later in life (either because he is Jewish or for whatever reason), the doc said it would be a lot more difficult and painful. My son had no complications and healed quickly. He peed in the docs face right before the procedure, so he got his two cents in! Also, I made my husband go in to the room and stay with my son for the procedure given that he was the one who felt strongly about getting it done.

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Mothering Magazine has a VERY good article about this subject this month. This is very personal, but I personally think there is no reasone to circumcise unless it's part of your religious beliefs. In-tact boys are on the rise and in Europe they just don't do it. The US is one of the few places that many still continue because many don't realize there's a choice. Also, there was some research that said it prevented HIV, which has now been debunked. The Mothering Mag also shows how it is done, and provides many other resources to find out more about it. Good luck!

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Every uncircumcised man I've ever known has been immensely grateful that he was left "intact" at birth. On the other hand, I have known some circumcised men who were deeply resentful that part of them had been removed without their ability to consent, and that they would never get to experience the sensations of the complete body they were born with. I, personally, would not do this to a child.

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When I was carrying my son who is now 13, my husband and I fought about this all the time. I wanted to have it done, and he felt strongly that there was no reason for it. Well I was very torn in making the right decision. Everyone around me had their opinion on what I should do. My grandmother told me that my grandfather had not been circumcised as a baby and was very insistent that his three son's have it done. Well then the day comes and I'm still undecided. So the doctor tells me I have two weeks to decide and I can just bring him to the office for the procedure. So that's what I ended up doing. The only regret I have is that I just did not listen to what my heart was telling me to do and have it done the day he was born. This is your decision. Don't listen to everyone around you! It will drive you insane, and you will end up questioning your choice. My husband got over it, and my son is healthy and didn't even realize there was a difference until I explained to him what it meant to be circumcised. After that, I don't think he really thought twice about it. So have faith in what ever decision you come to. Your boy will be fine.

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You are brave to put the circumcision delema out there. There are some strong opinions on this issue.
I did not have my son circumcised for several reasons. Here are a few:
1. Some people say that they had their son circumcised because"they wanted their son to look like the father". What the heck? I sure didn't get that reasoning and neither did my husband.
2. It is unnecessary and painful.
3. I don't want to do something just because "everyone else is doing it." My mom told me that I don't have to do anything just because "everyone else is doing it" and I listened.
4. It's just wrong.
I'm sure you will get plenty of people sending lists as to why you should circumcise. Hang in there and ultimately you will decide what is right for your child. Hang in there and don't give in to family or per pressure. Good luck!

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I didnt circumcise my son (now age 4) and I haven't had any problems. My husband is circumcised and was worried that our son "wouldn't look the same" as him, but SO WHAT@@ It's not like they are going to be comparing penises or being naked all the time. I would never circumcise any innocent boy. Let them decide when they are 18. I was reading a blog about children and this person put a picture of a baby being circumcised. It was so disturbing and horrible that I had the girl's site flagged and she was forced to delete the pictures (however, I thought that maybe people that are considering circumcision should see them, you would never do it if you did!) Even if the baby doesn't consciously remember the pain, he still feels it the same as if he were a 5-year old. That's such a sad start to life. I researched my decision quite extensively to persuade my husband. He is now happy with our decision. Good Luck!

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If like you say no other factor is in place. It is totally not necessary. It has now been proven to have zero medical benifit except in very rare cases. At which time it can be done at the descretion of the indevidual were there is anesthetic used. When they circumsise an infant they do feel it period. Even the type of circumsision that is preformed today is not the same as performed when Abraham did it (for those leaning toward religious reasons).
I have three boys and after careful research I choose not to do it. If they want to do it when they grow up it will be their choice. If you do it now they have no choice. I am "religious" if you want to pu me in a box. Jesus (Yeshua) specifically said that true circumsision is of the heart and being circumsised does not save you (again for those with religious reasons).
Now for medical reasons, this is how God made you. Your body is not designed as flawed except by man's disobedience (this does not mean we have to maim or mutilate our body). That is the medical definition of circumsision by the way = Mutilation, because it is not necessary.
It is just as easy for an un-cut man to keep clean as one that is cut. It's the same with a woman, just make sure they wash it. I tell my boys who faithfully know and understand that it is important to keep it clean just like any other part of their body and it's very easy to maintain as a diaper changing parent. If you decide to leave your baby intact and have ANY questions on care or anything else please do not hesitate to ask me.

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My 4 month old is NOT circumcised, and the decision not to was easy. The supposed hygiene reasons are a crock, if you ask me - just teach him how to keep it clean, like you've taught, or will teach your little girl.

It is an unnecessary *cosmetic* procedure, and my husband and I feel that it is an unnecessary trauma to put a child through. If my son decides he wants this done when he is an adult, I will gladly pay for a licensed, trained plastic surgeon to perform the procedure.

Note that the AAP does NOT support the routine circumcision of infant males.

Good luck making your decision & keep in mind that more and more people are opting not to do this, so your son would not be "alone" or "different" in the locker room.

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I chose not to have my son circumcised. My husband is not circumcised but that was not the deciding factor for me. I met a man who was angry at his parents for having him circumcised and I thought he had a point— that the decision should be left up to the child. My son is almost 2 1/2 and all is well. Just follow your heart. Best of luck. Congratulations on your boy!

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We did not have my son circumsized for a couple reasons. The first is that his father is not, and has excellent hygiene, therefore we both believed it is up to the parents to teach their boys proper hygiene to prevent infection and smells on their bodie parts. Secondly I did not want to put my newborn through unnecessary pain (whether he will remember or not) just for the sake of 'aesthetics' that for the most part no one will see anyways! I felt he was born just the way God intended, and there was no reason for us to mess with that. Good luck on your decision!

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I vote to circumcise! The majority of little boys now are circumcised. For health reasons it is better. Also, children tease for everything and you want to eliminate as much as that as possible.

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HEHE! You will get some very heated answers about this I am sure. I remember agonizing over this when I had my son. I talked to my doctor(what a wonderful man!) who said exactly what you said, it is personal preference. We are a fairly clean society and as long as you teach your son good personal hygiene it shouldn't be a problem if you want to leave him uncirmucised. You might ask the men in your life what their opinions are, they are the ones that have been the most affected by it. =)

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Go to: www.nocirc.org Very informative. We did not circumcise our son, who is now 19, and he actually thanked us a couple of months back, for leaving him intact. I hope your decision is to NOT circumcise. Good luck!

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We had our boy in May..and decided not to do it.

for me, i wanted to for only cosmetic reasons, however more and more boys are not being circumsized.

also.. ask yourself this question..would you stay in the room while they do the procedure? if you answer no for whatever reason, most likely you don't want to see your baby in pain.. then why would you put him through that?

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we chose not to cicumcise. outside of the U.S., people cicumcise for cultural/religious reasons alone. As long as your son learns to clean appropriately, and you do it when he is a baby, there is no need to worry about infection. I have now read in several sources that cicumcision is happening less often in the U.S., especially the west coast.

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Hi M.,
I have a son, and even though my partner is Jewish, we decided not to circumcise. It just felt wrong to us. After giving birth to him, I was so glad that we had made that decision. The way a newborn feels like part of your body still, I really felt like I would have been doing violence to myself, not just to him. I don't I ever could have stood by and watched that.

He is 4 now, and we have never had any problems. There are plenty of other intact boys out there, so he is certainly not alone, even among the Jewish kids. I honestly believe it is better for them to be intact. If they are born that way, it seems to me that it is how they should stay. I also realized that my stance against female circumcision should extend to boys, too.

The american academy of pediatrics does not recommend circumcision, and there is no medical reason to do it. You might be interested in this website in your decision making process. http://www.nocirc.org.

Good luck with your decision and I hope you have a beautiful birth and a healthy baby boy!

Best,
E. Bender

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M.-
Hi as a mom to 3 boys I too had to make this decision. I decided NOT to circumcise after all the info. that I gathered. This was a tough choice and untimitly up to you. I have not had any problems so far just making sure that they clean themselves very good. Good luck!
C.

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I had both of my sons circumcised and had no problem with recovery. The medical profession at this point seems to be completely neutral, so it really is your preference. My only advice is to make a decision that is right for you and don't let either side of the debate scare you or make you feel guilty for whatever decision you make.

I was squamish about having this done to my newborn babe, but we did it because it reduces the chance of infection in that area later on. If you do it, as was acording to Jewish law (altho we're not Jewish)I think it was on the 7th or 8th day, then there is a benefit to it, i belive it causes less pain/bleeding, so if you have that option, do it then instead of right at birth; that's what we did. and all went well. Best to you in your decision.

Hi there...I had the same discussion with my husband...he is curcumcised(sp). However we felt that due to the lack of religious reasons or such...that it wasn't worth puting our son thru it. We felt the if the only reason we were going to do the circumcision(sp) was to avoid the question of why am I different than daddy? We figured we'd deal with it when the time comes. It is an operation (even though they say minor) and we just felt there was no real reason behind actually doing it. I hope you find your answer I(no doubt) and congratulations on getting one of each! (it's awsome!) Steph

I have two grandsons, one circumcized, one not. It's a personal hygiene thing. The older one has not problem (circumcized) but the younger one has frequent infections due the the overlapping skin and has UTI's as well. Think again about the health issue and talk to other men that have not be circumcized.

I'd do it if Dad is. Don't if Dad is not. We have four boys and they all were.

My vote is no circumcision. I have 2 boys, now 26 and 21, and neither is circumcised and neither has ever had an infection or problem. I just taught them to pull the skin back when bathing. Just up front, matter of fact when they were in the tub in the same tone of voice as if you were telling them to wash behind their ears.

One is extremely active in sports and has never faced any problems in the locker room and neither has had any trouble socially, if that is a concern.

I just want to say this is a totally personal decision that you guys can make. I have heard so many VERY heated and lively debates about the practice of circumcision. The bottom line is, you have to decide for yourself, and be firm in your decision.

As for experiences, I believe you asked for that too, we did circumcise, and the experience was mixed. I think it wouldbe different at the hospital, but in my area they don't do them at hospitals (because some insurance doesn't cover it and it is cheaper to have your ped. or a uroligist do it). So we couldn't do it at our ped, because their board was too small. So we went to a uroligst, they strap baby down to a baby mold, and very quickly numb the area and do their thing. There are many different methods (if you do decide to do it, research the different methods), my doc used the plastibell, which makes it easier to clean, no open wounds or anything like that. My son cried because he hated being strapped down, but as soon as he was let up he was fine! And the recovery wasno problem, he never cried when it was touched, and atno time seemed to be in pain. When the plastic thing falls off, it is healed. I believe it fell off around the 1 week mark.

So yeah, you just have to seeif it is right for you :-)

I know you've already gotten a lot of feedback on this but I just wanted to let you know that my son (16 months) was circumcised. We wanted him to look like his dad and for health reasons. The main thing I wanted to share with you is that it does not hurt them. They get a local shot to numb the area. I had a c-section so I wasn't able to get up and go with him. My husband did though and he said our son was a champ and never cried. They don't feel it.
Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you'll do what's best for you and your son.

Hello,
I have a 4 1/2 year old son who is circumcised, he actually slept through it he was 1 month when he got it done due to medical reasons, but he slept right on through it. So I dont believe its really that painful. Also I agree with Karens response about infections. A boy I had in childcare had a problem similiar to what she describes below and he had to have surgery and be circumcised at 5 years old!!! Talk about painful! But like you said it really is a personal choice and how you feel about it.

There are already so many responses, but I still thought I'd share my own. My husband and I debated, and ultimately decided to go ahead and do it. The hospital really pushed it, and I finally decided to go ahead. Even though everything has been fine, no infections I wish we hadn't. The poor little guy was in so much pain for something that they claim is virtually pain free, and so uncomfortable. I felt like a horrible mum for letting that happen.

I did it for two reasons, my husband is cut, so I thought he'd 'be like dad', and because I know many women that kind of panic when thinking about 'being' with an uncut guy. It's no big deal in my book, but I didn't want my son to have a girl freak on him because he wasn't "normal".

That being said, if we ever have another son, I'm not going to have him cut, I just felt too bad seeing my little man suffer.

I think it's best to do it. people can say it's not necessary, and is it absolutely necessary- no , but it makes a major difference! I knew males that felt awkward about themselves because they weren't circumsized and had issues with it as adults! men who have it done don't have the same issues. Not only on a mental level, but physically it does help prevent bacterial infections. unless your son is absolutely very thorough in his cleaning, he will be prone to it. You'll learn how boys can be! I had it done to my son and I don't regret it. I took his feelings and physical needs into consideration when I choose to have it done. As an adult, if he's not circumsized like all of his other friends, he's going to think about it. I can gaurantee it! but there's no way an adult male will have it done then. I hope whatever choice you make, it's the best one for your son. congrats!

Hi M. - I did not have time to read all of your responses and I am not sure if this has been mentioned already, but I have heard that it is harder when it comes to hygiene when not circumcised. My husband and I debated about circumcision, and we decided to and I am happy we did.

Good luck in your decision.

Hello!

Our second child, a son, was born last year and we knew we wanted to have him circumcized. If you decide to do it, all I would recommend is that you request this to be done at the hospital. It seems that most doctors are preferring to do it in their office within the first two weeks of life (at least that's what I've heard of pediatricians in my area). I found this to be extremely difficult for us to handle! We took our son into the pediatrician's office and waited in the room where they do these procedures and saw all the equipment used for this. It broke my heart to see it all and know I was choosing to have my son cut. The doctor and nurse were very comforting to explain the entire procedure and that our son wouldn't be in any pain. My husband and I were not in the room, but it was extremely difficult to sit in the waiting room.

I'm not trying to scare you in any way of the procedure. I'm only saying my preference would have not be involved. My son was completely fine once we got him (no crying). He had no issues after the procedure either. We are definitely happy with his circumcision, but again would have just rather not been involved.

Good luck!
L.

I am 33 weeks pregnant and was undecided. I was leaning towards having it done and my husband was towards not having it done. After researching and watching this video "Routine Infant Circumcision" http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6584757516627632...
we have decided not to have it done.

Hi--Congratulations on your coming baby! Yes this is a difficult decision and the bottom line, no pun intended, is that you have to do what will make you most comfortable. My husband and all the men in my family were circumcised, but after a lot of reading and soul searching we chose not to do that to our two sons. They are now 27 and 24. I just couldn't wrap my head around cutting off a piece of my baby without good cause. I somehow felt that if God had truly intended us to be that way, we would be born that way. My husband had no problem with being different from his sons, but that is a consideration yours will need to make. We never had any difficulty with cleaning, but don't believe the folks who tell you you must pull the skin all the way down when cleaning at diapering time. It won't come down and making it do so at that age will cause it to tear. The fact that it doesn't move much helps to keep it cleaner anyway. As boys mature, the skin gets so that it can slide down easily and they will be able to clean themselves. So far, neither of my boys have ever complained that they are different and they both agree that they are glad we didn't cut them. So good luck with the decision. Whatever you do will be ok!

I have a 13 week old son and am a step-mom to an 8 year old boy. When my husband and I discussed this, we thought we should do what the father has, and his brother has, so that they would not be different. Both my husband and his son were circumsised, so we did our son so they would all be the same. Good luck with your decision! J.

We decided to circumcise all 5 of our boys. My husband wanted his sons to be like him. Makes sense to me. Its also a lot easier for me (and later him) to clean.
Its a simple, safe procedure. I'm having my son at UC Davis, there they have a surgeon who will come and perform the procedure. They use a topical anesthetic so he doesn't feel the procedure, and the recovery is quick. My son didn't cry at all. They did an excellent job.

God bless.

Is your husband circumsised? What has been his experience?

My husband and his friends recently had this conversation among each other, and those that weren't wish they were. Having endured complications cleaning and during sex. None of the uncircumsised complained of anything. May have not been the same conversation in the hospital as newborns though, right?! :o)

We had twin boys in April and we had them circumcised. It was the most horrifying thing to see their little penises mutilated like that, I think if I knew before what is was going to look like and be like for them - they were REALLY upset afterward, I never would have done it. They both heald fine and didn't seem bothered by it after a day, but I will aways feel horrible about doing it, especially since almost 50% of people don't do it now so there's not really any stigma attached to not doing it.

Good luck!

I am married to a very happily uncircumcised 46 year old, and our 8 year old son is also uncircumcised. It was an easy decision for us, as we felt that it is unnecessary and painful. We have not had any, nor heard of (in our large family) problems from being uncircumcised.

I would say its a good idea. In the long run, you won't have to worry about infections or showing your son how to clean it everytime he uses the restroom. It only hurts for the first two weeks, of healing. After its healed, you won't have to worry about the pain.
I left the building because my son screamed so loud. As a baby they won't remember it.

I've been told that if your husband is circumcised then circumcise him, if not then don't.

I have heard lots of people say, that it is better for Son and Daddy to be the same. When Daddy teachs how to go potty in the toliet, that they should "look the same" not diffrent. If that helps make a decision for you.

I truly believe this is a decision between you and your husband. However, my husband's opinion was that he wanted his son to "look like" him, in our case meaning circumcised. I was in agreement because my father was not circumcised and I remember being about 12 years old and him having to go and be circumcised when he was in his 40s because of all the problems he was having by not being circumcised (infections, etc.). Talk about an awkward conversation to have at 12 years old. I do recall he was laid up for several days and it was painful. Needless to say, my dad suggested circumcision when I was pregnant. My brother was circumcised even though my dad wasn't and he had questions about it when he was a kid (so I'm told) because they looked different. This is just my experience with it. I have also heard the lively debates over and over. Throw those out the window and go with what's best for you and your family. When we did circumcise our son, I have to say I made my husband sign the consent paper since it was a "man thing" - LOL.

The anti-circumcision lobby like to bandy around "official" statistics that show the circumcision rate to have fallen in the USA. What they conveniently fail to point out is that the "official" rate has only fallen significantly in California and Florida, which both have high immigrant populations (from South America where circumcision is not the norm). Figures from these two States cause the overall rate for the whole country to be lower, but in most of the USA the rates are steady. This comment comes from:
http://www.circlist.com/rites/rates.html go there to learn more.

There is less pressure in the US to circumcise than there was years ago, the concern is that one of cleanliness. However you teach your son to take care of himself like anything else, teaching him how to properly brush his teeth.
Our grandson is not circumcised, we couldn't see any real reason to cut off something that God put on especially since we are not jewish. His father is uncircumcised and a healthy 30 year old. Why would you bother was my question for myself when we faced this. Dean L.

We didn't circumcise our son (now age 3) and have had no problems. There is a minute increase in the chance of a urinary tract infection, but they are fairly rare in boys anyway. We faced no pressure or opposition from our medical providers.

I am a full time nursing student and a mother of four kids, three boy’s ages 3years, 2yr old twins and a 10 yr old girl. I chose to circumcise my sons because it would be cleaner for my son. I did not want him to have to worry about infections, and I did not want him to worry about cleaning it correctly. The only thing I feel is good about not circumcising boys is that he will have better sensation when he gets older or religious reasons. I say circumcise but he will be in a little pain at first even though the doctor will say it doesn’t hurt, it does. Just make sure you buy plenty of Vaseline for him so you can keep it lubricated. Just a note: my cousin was not circumcised until he was 17 years old pure torture for him at that age.

Hi M.,
My son just turned one, and he's circ'd. Ask almost any adult male and he's say to do it. If you have no other hang ups, like religion, just do it. Especially when he's first born, it literally take just minutes, and they give the baby a sugar binkie. I am sure it's not fun, but it's done by docs who do dozens everyday. Personally, I work at the local welfare office, and in recent years Medical has stopped paying for that procedure, calling it cosmetic, I know many parents who are upset that they could not afford the procedure and their boys are now getting older. So, my advice is to do it, I think he'll thank you for it later.
Good luck in your decision.
C.

in my estimation, circumcision is genital mutilation...listen to your heart...keep it natural, keep it simple.

We chose to circumsize our boys so they would "look like daddy", because kids notice these things at a VERY young age. Also the unknown is scary for hubby. Many more boys are being left uncircumsized, so when they begin dressing down for gym, it is less likely that he would be the only one. Uncircumsized boys take a little more care when they are young, but it is supposed to provide more pleasure when they are older...

I would research, talk to your hubby about it and decide.

The best advice I have heard was from a friend who is a labor and delivery nurse, which is to do what the baby's father has done, otherwise you will be explaining why he is different than daddy.