Time Limit for Child to Eat Meals?

a few years ago I would have been with the mom's who said... what's the big deal... let him go and just get up when you are done... but the issue is school.
My 1st grader comes home with mostly un-eaten lunches because he is the slowest eater on the planet. He has to go to the bathroom.... he gets distracted... you name it he does it! And now he wants to try to buy a lunch a school... we had to put kabosh on that... he would never have time to eat!
Start now to help him learn to eat in time frames... and good luck!

I am a very slow eater. I am usually the last one at the table. My husband is up in 10 minutes. I hate it. My kids will sit with me. I would not rush him.

I know it may be difficult, but eating slowly is important for many reasons-and the hope is that it becomes a lifelong habit! When he is 16 and 6'2" you'll wonder if he's chewing and how he can eat so much!

What's the problem? Why can't he just take his time? It's not like you need to sit there while he finishes, right?
I know in our family we don't all finish at the same time, and we get up and leave when we finish, we don't sit there until the last person is done.
Just clear the table and teach him how to rinse his plate and cup and put it in the sink (or dishwasher) when he is done :)

Why does it bother you if he takes longer to eat? Unless you have to go somewhere, let him be. I say the rest of the family goes about their business and the 5 year old will finish up and join you when he is done. Don't make this a battle of wills or give it your attention, just let him linger over his food as long as he wants.

My family takes apx 1 hour to eat. We're talking, eating, talking. That's just the way it's always been. Meal times are a time to socialize and connect.

My husband always just shoveled and ran. 15 minutes tops, 5-10 typically.

I know you're asking about kids... but I find the answer for how long a child "should" take to eat comes a lot from how one was raised.

OK...I think 15-20 minutes is INSANE. Research has proved time and time again, that eating quickly causing overeating and not leaning how to tell when one is full. We regularly sit at our table for an hour or more, to give ourselves time to eat. I HATE shoving my face in 15 minutes, why would I force my kid?? Dinner is about spending time as a family, not rushing through so we don't have to deal with it :( Also, it takes far longer then an hour for food sitting to cause health problems. If he's not hungry, he's probably snacked too much earlier. It does make me sad that people don't utilize dinner time as time to be together. (Not that you don't, I'm just speaking in general.)

With that said, if my son was just playing and not interested in eating...I'd take the food away and he would not get dinner unless he was willing to engage AND eat. Playing is not allowed at the table here, but talking and eating is.

If he's not hungry he's not hungry.
If he's tired, he's tired. My kids have a hard time eating when tired, for example.

Just let him finish when he is finished. Per his body's cues for fullness.
Some days a kid eats a lot, some days they don't. Just like adults.

Ditto MamaZita below.
That is how we are.

EDIT:
And... if your son is a "grazer".... then he will NOT eat a ton at meal time. Grazers, graze throughout the day. To some it may seem like snacking. But it is them, and their eating style.
My Husband, is like that. So is my son.
They eat, a little throughout the day. Not a lot at meal times. It is too much for them. Fine.
Me and my daughter.... on the other hand are not snackers, but eat heartily and pointedly, at meal times.
I NEVER.... "make" my kids, or myself or my Husband... eat EVERYTHING on their plates. I and we, go by our body's cues... for fullness or hunger. That... is the most healthy. And does not generate eating dysfunctions.

AND... our Pediatrician... says that my kids are PERFECT the way they are and per their, eating style and needs. It is not a one sized shoe, fits all, kind of thing.

If it's been so long that the food has been out and could pose a health hazard then it's taken too long. Other than that we let them eat at their own pace. Making them shovel food in in a short period of time can have adverse effects. It can keep them from noticing their bodies que that it is full and they can over eat. It takes a bit for that message to register. If they quickly clear their plate in 5 minutes because that is all they were given they could have eaten too much because too much was on their plate. We never put a time limit on our kids at that age.

My DD is also a slow eater. I am careful not to rush her, people who eat slower tend to have better eating habits and more portion control because they give their bodies a chance to signal them when they are full. I usually start clearing the table 15 minutes after the adults are done, but I leave her plate and tell her to take as much time as she wants.
Usually she will be done shortly after I get up, because it's kind of boring to eat by yourself...

@ S.H. I am with you 100 percent and trying to teach my husband that DD knows when she's hungry or not! I hate using food as a reinforcement tool as I believe that could lead to eating problems later.

I let my DD take her time. If she says all done before eating anything, I wait but don't push it. That usually works.

I guess I have a 30-35 minute time limit, sometimes longer if I want to do the dishes while she is in the high chair :-)

I'd lay off the snacks and perhaps not put so much on his plate. 20-30 minutes is plenty of time to finish a reasonably sized meal when he isn't already full from snacks, juice or milk.

I would allow 25 minutes to half an hour. Remember the body needs 20 minutes to register being full. Why is your child such a poky eater? Is he snacking too much or too close to mealtimes and therefore not hungry? Is he picky and not happy with the selection? Does he need to brush up on table manners? You might have to address these issues to really improve mealtimes.

i give my daughter the amount of time she gets in school. 15 mins.

I would say 20 - 30 minutes at the table is a reasonable amount of time, depending on the meal. Mornings can be hectic, so you might need something like 15 minutes there.

If he's not done, just be matter-of-fact about it "OK in 5 minutes it'll be time to [whatever] so whatever you haven't eaten will go in the fridge and you can have it later if you're still hungry."

I used to think that my SD took forever to eat when she was younger but really, it was just that the rest of us could wolf down a meal in 5 minutes so in comparison, she was slow. But really, she wasn't. So once I put a 20 minute time frame on dinner, I realized that she was usually done then and if she wasn't she wasn't all that hungry anyway at that moment but might want to eat a bit later so I would offer a re-heat before dessert.

My daughter has a half hour lunch at school and she often brings food home. She says that half hour goes fast.

I recently began to wonder if she eats fast so she can get up and go play, so I am not sure what all is done in that half hour. But I know the lunch lady and will ask :)

First, might I suggest the dishes with the dividers in them? That helps you out with portion control. You'll be less likely to put too much food on the plate at one time and then having expectations that are too high of what he should be eating. Remember that his stomach is only the size of his fist and his portions should reflect that.

Limit when he snacks. He shouldn't be snacking earlier than 1.5 - 2 hours before a meal if you want him to eat what you serve in a timely manner.

Remember that eating more slowly is better for your digestion.

That said, If he hasn't finished within half an hour and he's just playing with the food then he's probably done. Although if he's playing with his food rather than eating it before then I would cover the plate and send him away from the table. There's no need to make him sit there turning food into a toy when he's not hungry, and you could be saving the meal for later when he is hungry.

20-30 minutes. That's reasonable and it's how much time he will have to eat lunch when he is in full day school. If he doesn't finish his meal, and then isnt' allowed a snack til the next meal, he'll learn to stop messing around and eat his food. One of mine was a dawdler when he was preschool aged, and I used a timer for his meals - 20 minutes for breakfast and lunch, 30 for dinner;

Try not to stress about it, that will reinforce his behavior. Being that food gets cold and unappetizing after about 15 minutes give him 30 minutes max. (This isn't mean, school cafeterias do the same, the day is only so long.) Give him water only to drink with it if so he doesn't fill up on milk or juice.

If he's talking and messing around remind him that that isn't eating which is what he's supposed to be doing. (If he continues after being told a time-out in the middle of dinner for messing around should make it clear to him, and then allow him to resume eating. Undesirable behavior is wrong at any time and shouldn't be overlooked because it's happening during mealtime. Way better than saying, "You're done with dinner, go to your room.) Give him a 5 minute warning and calmly take his plate away when it's time. Remove everyone's dishes and clear the table so he sees that the meal is indeed done. If he throws a fit and says he's not finished tell him he is, but that you'll wrap it up and save it if he wants to snack on it after his bath. If he takes you up on that offer him a small portion of it and a half glass of milk, no other "snacks."

Also try to limit his "snacking" throughout the day, stick to fruits and veggies, and not a lot of them as you want him to be hungry at mealtime. You could have him eat a fruit or veggie you're planning to serve at a meal, that way he'll get it into him and be none the wiser ; )

My husband is in the military and was taught at boot camp to eat in 3 minutes. Yes THREE MINUTES. He has slowed down some in the 20+ years we've been together. But he still inhales his food. I sometimes ask him if he even tasted it he ate it so fast.

I on the other hand am a slow eater. I have issues with my teeth so have to take smaller bites. But I also ENJOY food. I like to SAVOR it. And always have. I was consistantly the last person at the table at meal times. Sometimes by more than half an hour.

My kids ... 3 kids ... 3 ways of eating. My daughter is a grazer. She can't eat large meals most of the time (although now that track has started that will change some), she eats little bits here and there and LOVES LOVES LOVES salad and veggies to snack on. I'm good with that. Her height and weight are great she's thriving as far as her health goes and she's A's in all her classes except 1.

My oldest son eats more like I do. He takes his time most of the time and savors the food he's eating. Course he's also almost 19 now and not wolfing down food like there's no tomorrow now that he's stopped growing LOL. When he was going through growth spurts ... good grief that boy could eat. Although he still never ate as fast as his dad.

My youngest son ... well ... we have to monitor him a little closer. He'll wolf down his food so fast that he'll go back for more till he makes himself sick. He eats more like his dad and I'm trying to work on that with him. To have him slow down a little while he's eating.

I don't put time limits on meals though. When they are full they are done eating and they are welcome to stay at the table and chat (because I'm STILL the last person sitting at the table 99.999% of the time LOL) or they are welcome to rinse their plate off and put it in the sink and go on about their day.

Good luck with however you decide to go.

I had to do this with my stepson and read about some of it on the web. Breakfast - we did 15-20 min. I would give a 5 min. warning.
Lunch - About 30 min.but if we aren't in a rush - 30-40 min.
Dinner - no more than 45-60 min.

I read dinner should be more laid back and you may not even put a limit on dinner. The breakfast and lunch were more timed. But, with bath time, bedtime stories, brushing teeth etc. - both kids could sit up for 2 hours. Most people said, don't sit at the table with them when you have finished (given a normal amount of time). Just get up and go about your night. Most of the time they will follow.

in school they get about 20 minutes of eating time and then out to play. So I would say no less than 20 minutes for lunch. but as for supper I would say a half hour as you will be spending it as together time as a family right? But having said that I would not allow the messing around. I would put supper out and when he is done he is done and take the food away. but when it is snack time before bed give him what he didn't eat at dinner. so no skipping the greenbeans and meat at supper and getting goldfish for snack lol. also make sure your allowing enough time between meals for him to be hungry. no snacks after say 2pm if your eating dinner between 4 and 5. he won't be hungry.

Dinner is the WORST!

Our son is 3 and does the same thing. The problem is that dinner is SO close to daddy coming home that he gets very riled up and wants to tell daddy everything and run around and play but when he doesn't eat well, he doesn't sleep well--despite his bedtime snack. So, on those nights, I give him a banana and peanut butter (slice the banana open and spread peanut butter in the middle) "sandwich" or an actual banana and peanut butter sandwich on a slice of whole grain.

Sometimes I'll start his dinner ahead of the time that daddy gets home. I also have toys in the dining room that are quiet toys and he can play with those while we eat but may not leave the dining room until we are all done.

It's still a nightmare. When I know he's hungry, I'll ask him to take a bite and then do some other task and then after he's done that take another bite. Sometimes I can trick him into a handful of bites. One of the things I NEVER do is say "you have to eat or else..." I think it sets up a negative and stressful situation around dinner time "eat your dinner or no tv" "if you don't eat your dinner, you can't play...." because we are forced to follow through with punishments instead of enjoy our dinner and we are holding our breath hoping he'll comply.

Instead, I will say something like "Mommy bought/made a special dessert for tonight, and if you have two bites of your dinner I'll tell you what it is." Then, I'll tell him. "And if you have another two bites, I'll let you see it!", so I show it to him. And ask him to have another bite. A toddler's stomach is the size of his clenched fist so between drink and food I try to set my expectations accordingly.

I give DD until I have cleared everything else off the table. In that time, we have all sat down, been served, talked and eaten. If she cannot finish in a reasonable timeframe, then she is just messing around or not hungry. Our dinners can easily run more than 30 minutes, which I think is reasonable for a kid. I don't think it's worth a child sitting for hours, staring at a cold plate. She knows if she doesn't eat, she doesn't get any treats (including things like hot chocolate which we have often in cold weather). I just simply remind her she didn't eat and that's our rule. There are also times when she's tired or sick or just not with it and it's not worth fighting to keep her at the table. She can ask to be excused, but the same no treats rule applies.

If DD messes around, that's another thing. DH did this penny jar thing with SD. If she wasn't listening and behaving at the table, he took a small jar with 3 pennies and upended it on the table. That was 1. Then he'd put the pennies back in the jar for the rest of the warnings. If all 3 were in the jar, he removed her from the table and she faced a consequence. We have not introduced this to DD yet, but it worked with SD.

30 - 45 mins.
If he doesn't eat in that time, take his plate , no snacks.
He needs to learn to eat his dinner at dinner time and not play with it.

I'd say 30-45 minutes for breakfast/lunch since those are lighter meals and an hour for supper.

This is just a battle that we've begun to fight recently with my almost 4 yr old.
If he's genuinely sitting at the table and eating - slowly or not - I leave him be.
If he's messing around in his chair, getting up and back down, etc... I warn him once, and then take his food away.

He's starting to get the message, now. And it's pretty clear when we all sit down whether or not he's interested in the food or not. So rather than a time limit, I just watch his behavior. It's usually clear in 5-10 minutes whether or not he's going to coorperate.