My SIL and I aren't talking. But we each sent each other's children Easter presents. Do I have the kids send her a thank you note, or is this just a "given" that we send the kids gifts on Easter, Christmas, birthdays, etc? The kids are 6, 5 and 6mos. I don't expect one from her/her 2 yr old...but I don't want to be rude either.
Thanks for giving your input
Thank you all for your input. I will definitely have the kids work on pictures and send along thank you notes.
No question. YES.
I was taught to always write a thank you note if someone was kind enough to send something to me, no matter what reason. I've taught my 15 yr old to be the same way.
Send a thank you. It can be simple but just do it. It shows class and manners.
Always send thank you notes. It's such good form, and I so appreciate when I get them from the children (or their parents!).
Bonus: TY cards are also a GREAT way to get rid of those ubiquitous crayon drawings. Just turn them into cards!
I am a BIG fan of manners, and therefore, of thank you notes. There is NEVER an occasion where a handwritten (or drawn/painted/colored) thank you note is "too much."
I disagree that you can prearrange a pact of "no more thank you notes please? OK!".
Nor do I agree with skipping the thank you notes b/c they are not reciprocated. Poor manners doesn't excuse poor manners!
What have you done in the past? If your kids have sent them in the past why wouldn't they do the same this year?
I also agree with the idea that you never go wrong when you send a Thank You note. Just a thought--Easter is about new life and redemption, so maybe you could take the opportunity to reach out to your SIL to try to reconcile. (probably easier said than done, but at least we should TRY to make amends when possible, especially in the spirit of the season.)
If your kids usually send a thank you note, then have them send one. If not, then don't (unless you think this would be a positive thing for mending your relationship -- and you are interested in doing so). The last thing you need during a volatile family issue is someone reading into something the wrong way.
Yes, please send thank you notes. Social skills and civility are such important tools to teach.
I was taught to always send thank you's. I write them for my 7 month old - then let him scribble on them (with my help). Even if she won't send them to you - you are teaching your children to be grateful no matter what.
Good luck!
Hi Mom on the GO! The rule of etiquette is that a note expressing gratitude must be sent for any gift from which you were unable to express your gratitude in person. So, officially, yes.
However...I think the real answer depends on the protocol you (and your SIL) have used in the past. Have you always sent notes in the past? If so, I think you may want to continue for now -- especially since you and she are not speaking. (You don't want her to "read into" something that's not there!) If you haven't sent notes, would it look odd to suddenly send a note now? Are you looking for an opportunity to break the ice? If so, would a note be a good way to do so?
Once you and she are on good terms again, maybe you could ask "Hey -- what do you want to do about thank you notes? Should we have the kids write them, or skip it?" Usually, I'm a hard-core thank you note supporter. But I have a SIL who never does thank you notes. She specifically asked that we stop sending the notes. So, I have obliged and stopped the notes with this one part of the family.
That is so great to know this I have a 6yr old only 1 she is the only grandchild too.My mom attend church every Sunday,Tuesday and so on so people are very familar with my girl.They gave her lots of baskets I suggested a Thank-you card is very apporiated.
V.
Always take the high ground and always send a thank you note.
Hi MOTG,
I hope things improve with you and SIL. With respect to thank-you's, I love the idea. This is a neat way for your 6 and 5 year old to understand best giving and receiving, even if we start with you writing the note and each of them signing a quick "thanks" and their name (assuming that is all they can do).
S. A. K., MFT
I typically do thank yous too. Sometimes I just do a quick email thank you, but most the time I write them out and have the girls color on them. check out http://www.123greetings.com/ for free online greeting cards.
thank you notes are always appropriate and it's a great thing to institute with your children now. My sister and I exchange gifts for our children for all holidays and talk daily- and we still send thank yous! It's just the polite thing to do and reminds your children to be thankful that someone thought of them!
Ditto everything Denise said. My sister and I do thank you cards and we talk all the time and are on great terms. We don't do them for each other, but always for the kids. And it's great that you don't expect on or get upset if you don't get one, but it is never out of line to do a thank you card.
