Thank Everyone Who Gave Me Advice

hello K.

I have been in that space before. I can only speak from my perspective and you can take from me. A little about me; I am a holistice daycare provider and consultant for adults. I am a mother to my son that is 5 year young.
In a time where I felt everything seemed against me I had to be still and I mean still in such a way I had to remind myself I am energy source. I was expecting people to do things and be things for me that I was not for myself. I was being responsible for everything but me and my outer environment was just projecting what I was doing to me. I had my business it was loosing clentele, I had to give me son up to his father because I had no financial support, everything my lights were going to be turned off, my telephone service did get turned off and i was seven months late behind rent and much much more:)
so, I had to stand in the face of all my obstacles fearlessly and become the victor or the defeated. The one thing I was praciticing that assisted my life well was Nichiren Buddihism and I began to chant Nam- Myoho- Renge- Kyo and I had alot of support from my district leaders and they took a stand for my life to rise myself to a higher life condition because at the time I was in hell and the things that I was doing in the present of my life was not working because I was using tools that worked in the past. I had to redevelop my self and see what was happening as me growing and expanding and the old me was not trying to accept the new me. So at the end of my drama I received funds to pay my rent, I regain my confidence and received new clientele for my business, I received my son back and was able to take on his life even better than before, I established a wonderful and great relationship with my sons father, and now I am looking to expand my business even further to create a wellness center for babies and adults. My life is expanding more and more to have harmony with all spectrums of life. I feel that you are in the process of your own human inner revolution and you can not be afraid of the transformation. Everything is working in divine order and you are learning to love you first then others. You can not expect from others that you donot give to yourself. As Ghandi say be the change you would like to see in yourself. If you need a support system feel free to contact me ###-###-####. I hope that I contributed well to you and I create you happiness in being so courageous to go through your metamorphisis. You are becoming into your own, Butterfly:)
dont worry ride the wave

Peace and love
N.

K.,

I agree, take a breath. A few of them, breathe deep then exhale very slowly. Indeed, go to church, sometimes sitting in a quiet church and just sitting helps also.

Now, i don't know the laws in NYS, but i do know you need to find a good lawyer. I am sure there are programs in NYS, that will help you pay for a lawyer or help with advice on the Workman's Comp issue, since you have a computer general information should be availible online. In CT (where i am) we call a hotline and they direct us to the appropriate department or person.

Next, what kind of business do you have? Can you "close" one for a moment and pick it back up in say 6 months? Then get a job to supplement the income, a job wouldn't overwhelm you with the "repsonsiblity" for the moment and give you a break. And it would be a steady pay. Maybe for just 6 months.

Then keep going, don't give up till you find a therapist you like. It's easier said than done, but you do have to feel comfortable with one.

Know that you're asking for help and that's a big deal. You only in "funk", we all get there. You are not alone. Hopefully you get advice you can use and often times when you start with one step the others just follow. Oh and yes keep the faith. Sometimes in the darkest hours is when you see the most light.

Good luck!!! And this site is great so write back if you need us more.

L.

K.,

I FEEL your pain - I could write this same email at least once a week! Definitely know that there are others out there that go through a lot of these same stresses. It totally sucks I know. People try to cheer you up by saying that it could be SO MUCH worse - imagine living in a third world country or war happening around you on a daily basis.....I know - it never makes me feel any better either.... but if u think about it really hard - eventually it'll make u feel a lil bit better. At least your kids are healthy. Take Care and I wish you all of the best. Do u live in the city? If you're in North Jersey - feel free to contact me if u need a friend to rant + complain to.....sometimes that's all I need - just to vent to someone who will listen.

K. ~ If I could reach through the computer screen and hug you, I would. No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed! Anyone would. Each of your events is a crisis in itself, combined...well let's just say if you weren't feeling like you're drowning there would be something wrong.

Where do you live? I know here in Rockland, there is a Crisis clinic open 24 hrs at the county health department. If your community has one of these GO THERE! Get your meds and see a doc ( any doc at tis point) You don't need to find a new therapist overnight, but you DO need a new psychiatrist ASAP. Most county centers will charge on a sliding scale.

There must be someone who can watch your daughter for a few hours. They don't have to be the perfect caregiver; .. just safe, and kind.

Please get help from wherever you can find it... Once you have someone to help, things can geet done a litle at a time.

K. when I find myself sinking I pray.It works.Prayer is so relaxing,because it allows you to release and put it in Gods hands,so your no longer carrying the weight because you gave it to God.Thats what we forget to do sometimes and we become overwhelmed because we try to do everything ourselves.Take my advice and see how you feel.maybe a day at the salon might do you good I'm a cosmetologist in the Farrockaway beach area.###-###-####

I am so sorry to hear about all that you are dealing with. How is your daughter coping doing this time? I wish I had some answers for you. Somtimes it feels like when it rains, it pours. It sounds like you have alot going on and you are feeling overwhelmed. It may be best to prioritize what things need immediate attention and what can wait a little bit. I would concentrate on finding a new psyhciatrist because building up a support system is what you need right now...someone to help you clear your mind, discuss what is stressing you and monitor things. We can't do it all, that is a lesson I have learned. Concentrate on feeling better. Also, seeking a support system will help you to feel more in control and less anxious, making you an even better parent! Hope that helps.

Prayer along with a plan of action, can allow God to completely change this whole situation around to your favor. Visit www.joycemeyer.org, she is an amazing preacher for women.

All the best and God bless

K.,

{{HUGS}} to you!!! You already too the first step of many to help yourself. You are reaching out for help. It is hard to feel so overwhelmed and you are probably kicking yourself too. This is ALOT to be happeing at once. I like Jess' advice. Making a list will help. It might be scary to see how long the list is...but BABY STEPS...one thing at a time. Take baby steps K. and soon you won't be looking at what needs to be done but all that HAS been done. Blessings to you. You CAN make it...you WILL make it through this. I am a firm believer in that "if he [God] brings you to it...he will bring your through it!" Best of luck. PLEASE update us on what is going on!

Dear K., I am so sorry you are going through this! I don't know how helpfull my advice will be but I very much don't believe you cannot sue your employer in NYS. Please check with another lawyer. You clearly do need a good lawyer that will be on your side and will help you. And get legal advice from the lawyers not from "everyone". This is the most urgent now. Do you have a family or friends who could help you? In any way - financially, emotionally or just taking care of your daughter? Could your psychiatris recomend somebody else you could see? It's a very bad moment to stop seeing psychiatrist. Were you on any medication? If so then you definitely cannot stop taking them! I so hope and believe you will overcome all this and will come out of it stronger and better! Good luck and take care!

Hi K.,

I am terribly sorry that you are going thru this. It must be so draining and bring some sort of desparation. I know what it is like - I have had many moments where my chest gets tight, i cant breathe and my heart is racing....my head is full of noise and i cant think... i snap and my 3 yr old daughter , at my dog and at my husband..i found myself unmotivated...even went to come counseling.... Long story short - I eventually started going back to church... a solid church, that simply teaches the Bible - no gimmicks..and I reconnected with God, with Jesus... I dont know your spiritual background - but God/Jesus, has made all the difference in my life - Things may not change in your life, but you get the strength and the peace to withstand the trials... This is all i know to make my life livable. I dont know where u live - but I go to hurch by the Crossing Outlets - Tannersville - I go to Living Hope Baptist Church - we meet at the Swiftwater East High School and if you would like to visit - no strings attached, no harrasment - please let me know - I would love to have you as my guest. In the meanwhile - i promise to pray for you as often as I can. I do hope you find peace.

God Bless,
A.

K., everyday is a battle in and out of the home. I get overwhelmed daily. The job of mom alone is enough to inundate one with stress. It is and always has been the hardest job ever. What I do is very similar to what the other mothers have told you. First take a moment to breathe...relax and reflect on what your main priority is...your daughter. Go play with her at the park, in your yard, in the bedroom of your home. Just be sure to take that moment.
Once you have relaxed your mind and remember where your priorities are, write out everything that needs to be done. Each item gets a separate section of a divided notebook, that way as things in each aspect of your life progress you can fill in the updates accordingly.
Did you file a complaint against whoever assaulted you? Is there anyone you can rely on to help you during these times of extreme stress to give you some alone time?

K.,

Everyone gets their head under water every once in a while. The key is to find the right lifeline.

Everyone does it differently. For me, I need to prioritize and compartmentalize my issues, right down step by step what I need to get done, and then tackle one at a time. I do this even with little stuff, like getting the housework done. I make one master list, break it down into steps, assign each step to the day I'm going to get it done, and then just cross the items off the list one by one. Do the first thing, cross it off, and then start the second thing. Don't think about item 3 till it's time, and don't worry about tomorrow's list till tomorrow.

1. What steps need to be taken to advance your suit against your employer? Makea list of every phone call to make, every piece of paper to fill out, etc. Give what you need to give to your lawyer, and then let him do his job. He'll let you know what he needs from you. Do what needs doing, and then let it go in his hands.

2. What do you need to do to find an replacement for your psychiatrist? Contact your insurance company, get the list of participating doctors or whatever you need. Speak to anyone you know who isgetting similar services for a recommendation, and make a few consultation appointments to meet someone you are comfrtable working with.

3. What do you need to do to advance your business endeavors in order to make enough money? I don't know what kind of businesses you have, so I can't try to give you a start with this one. Do you need to get your name out into your commmunity to make potential customer contacts? Do you need to enhance or upgrade your product line? Whatever it is that will help you to grow your businesses goes here.

Add in all of the everyday stuff, like cleaning your bathroom and running the vacuum.

Now, take this list, and decide which items need to get done this week. What order do they need to happen in? Break his smaller list down into each day's tasks, and put them in order to tackle. Keep your list handy, so you don't have to think about what your next move is. It is when you are looking at the big picture that you feel overwhelmed. When all you need to know is that right now you are doing the dishes, and after that's done you have to make three phone calls, it doesn't all seem so bad.

You can get through it, K.. We all get to where it seems like life is coming crashing down on our heads, and we don't have enough hands to catch all the pieces. But you manage. You'll be all right. Just take everything step by step, and don't be afraid or feel badly for asking for help when you need it. That's what friends and family are all about. Lean on them if you need to. One day they'll need you, and you can return the favor.

Good luck to you and your little girl!

Jess

First, take a deep breathe and slow down. Sounds cliche, but I found in the midst of all chaos it works (may take a few minutes and attention). Secondly, until you find another doc maybe speak to regular dr to see if he can put you on a mild tranquilizer for those times that you most need it. This might help you enough throughout your day to at least focus on what needs to be done while looking for a new shrink. You didn't mention a support (husband, boyfriend, family, etc). Doing things with no help is always stressful but when there are legal and money factors involved......no wonder you are stressed. You cannot take care of things in your life unless and until you take care of yourself. Initially focus on that and then the rest might seem a little clearer (hopefully anyway). Throw in a little prayer or two and maybe find someone that can help you when you need it most. We are not super heroes........best of luck to you!