Depressed and Anxious Mom

First tell your PCP that being a SAHM is a real job AND the most important one in the world! Your DD is so lucky to have you. Two can be a hard age and BUSY! What you need to do is take care of yourself! Do you exercise? get time away from your DH & DD, even for a couple hours? Have a hobby? Getting sleep?

I went through this with my first where it was all about my husband, my son and my house. I didn't get a full night sleep (more than 2 hours at a time) for 5 1/2 YEARS! I kid you not, my oldest woke every two hours for 5 1/2 yrs! Me? I was angry, overweight, empty and a basketcase. With my second I had post partum depression BAD, probably from lack of sleep. I did take medication for a year and then I realized I was no good to anyone unless I take care of myself. Even though it is hard sometimes I try to get up early to go walk (by myself) for 30-45 minutes before anyone else is awake it gives me a better outlook for the day. I also joined the YMCA to go workout while the kids are at school and they have childcare for little ones.

Ask for help from your husband, friends, family to help you get to where you want to be. You've heard the saying "If momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy!"

I am doing this great book right now...Hannah Keeley's Total Mom Makeover. Try to pick it up and MAKE TIME to do it. Good luck and hand in there!

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Went through depression until my son turned three and was able to do a little more on his own and slept through the night. Staying home does require you to rethink how you are working. I tended to work 24-hours initially, until I realized that I was not being kind to myself. I had to step outside of myself for a moment and ask myself what I would tell a friend if she was doing the things I was doing. They seemed good, but I wasn't making time for myself. So, when I started waking early to pray instead of to do laundry, I felt a little better. When I remembered to do stretches instead of cleaning the bathrooms, I got stronger. When I remembered to stop for one hour and watch some television instead of dusting, I stopped being angry and emotional. I learned to nap when my baby napped. I insisted they have quiet time until my youngest was 4. Now, I just have a "leave-Mommy-alone" hour. They can play but I must have some quiet time before Daddy comes home. You are probably overwhelmed and don't plan for pockets of time in your day to do something you really enjoy. You also can include your daughter in some fun activities, like baking cupcakes, taking nature walks, or planting flowers. After she's good and dirty, bathe her and let her have nap time. I also got a second wind when I started painting with my children. It's still a lot of work, but so was working out of the home. And, I'd rather have the control of my time without the pressure of a job and still trying to juggle everything at home with a toddler/preschooler. A salary would be nice, but if you don't have to get a job, find fulfilment in some other activity that brings you joy. And, as for the GYN, I'd ask about the hormones and see if there is a severe case of PMS. Natural supplements like wild yam and soy might help a little, but you can research that on Internet if GYN doesn't talk about herbal supplements. Meanwhile, the Rx might not be a bad idea if the depression has gotten to a point that is physically and mentally draining you. I usually try exercise, prayer, habit changes, lifestyle changes before considering meds, but am not against considering meds if condition has gone too long. Also, you might want to consider therapy and a good mentor to help you through. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings to someone neutral or empathetic can be very helpful. Good that you are not ignoring the problem, though, as depression is a real condition that must be addressed. I am proud of you and want to encourage you. Motherhood is hard work, but very rewarding. Learn to balance, seek help, and encouragement along the way. Remember to be a wife as well, and remember to love yourself, too.

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Hello! I, too, suffer from depression and anxiety. I am appalled that any Dr. would tell you to get a real job! Are you serious? You need a REAL DOCTOR if that is what he/she told you! Talk to your psychiatrist, they should be able to prescribe medicine and they would know what would best fit your needs, particularly if you have already been dealing w/this person. However, if you start on medicines, it can be very difficult to get back off of them. Most of my depression started when my husband (married less than 5 months at that point) started distancing himself from me knowing that he was going to be going overseas w/the USMC. Then, he started cheating on me and it has become progressively worse since then. I tried to stay w/him and make things work, thinking he would change. 8 years later, he has been w/6 women (that I have DISCOVERED, that is), and we have 2 boys. We have now been separated 8 months and plan to divorce as soon as the state will let me! It is a journey and a rough one! But, sometimes the medicines can make a big difference, and sometimes its difficult to find the right one. I don't recommend getting that advice from an OB/GYN. Its one thing if you are already on a medicine, and they just represcribe it to you because you are out, but if they are the one recommending which one to take, that isn't very good since that isn't their specialty. You would go to a foot doctor for an eye exam! Talk to your psychiatrist, you are lucky to be in with one already! There is a waiting list around here! I too, have a toddler (just turned 3) and HE ALONE can drive a person crazy, so just remember that you are not JUST a mom, and if you have friends near you, make a point to get out w/out DD and get an adult break! Good luck and I'll be praying for you! If you want to talk anytime, contact me, I'm here!

Sorry, I just realized your post said psychologist and not psychiatrist! Your psychologist will be able to help you find one, and if money is an issue, look into a community services board...they see people at different costs depending on income!

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Hi G S,
You are not alone!! Depression runs in my family. Some days are fine for me and I can handle most things, while other days I can't handle anything, except the feeling of wanting to stay in bed, which hardly ever happens. Anyway I have a hard time being a stay at home mom. The only person I talk to is my children all day, watch cartoons and take care of them and the house. Some days I just want to run away and not come back because I think they would be better off without me. I can be very nasty when I feel I just can't take it anymore. I feel ashamed and awful. I try to tell myself how lucky I am and to breathe when I am stressed but it doesn't work at that time. So this is wha helps me. Xanax, immediately (15-20 min) calms me down, my crying stops and I can usually handle most things thrown my way. Start off small, .25mg, then .50mg. Beware it can be addicting and your body will want more and more if you take it on a regular basis, which I have done in the past, but I get wean myself off to, and have done so in the past a couple of times. Then there is Cymbalata, it is advertised on Tv, I noticed feeling better the next morning after taking it at bedtime. I would try that first. Then get the Xanax as a back up. Look I am all for trying to do the other stuff to improve your life, but if people aren't going thru it they don't no. Sometime our chemicals in our body are all of track. Me personaly , I know I can't live without rx and that's okay with me. I don't drink, or smoke. But I will take what I need to feel good about me and my life and I would recomend you try it to. If it doesn't work for you then atleast you tried. Also Dr's are very funny about prescribing Xanax, so only take what you need and save the rest for a rainy day, fill it when it can be filled and save them. I have plenty in my house to keep me sane until I can get an appt. Good luck and I am sending you a great BIG HUG!!!! Keep us posted and get to the Dr. today. L.

Wanted to add that you could also be low on Progestorone, and they sell cream for that at old fashion pharmacys.

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I am in the business of helping people just like you find relief from stress, struggle and worry.

Contact me discuss your options. You'd be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you can find relief.

Best,

L.

HEY THERE! I agree about finding a moms club (I'm in one in North Stafford if you're near here), taking your daughter for walks outside, etc. I wanted to let you know that I recently developed SAD, which is depression due to low light, and it was MUCH MUCH MUCH worse after I gave birth three years ago. To boost seratonin in my brain I take vitamin B6 every day. That's it! I also exercise and eat right, but the only major change was the B6. I got a bottle for $2 at Walmart and it's like 2500% of the RDA, so I chop them up with a rolling pin and take a little fraction of a pill daily. It helps with my mood swings around my period tremendously. AMAZING. I feel like ME again. Best of luck to you! (And get a new PCP!!!) Hugs, D.

Having more than one iron in the fire can be a good idea. I like to use the disaster scale. On a scale of 1-10, ten being that the world will explode...how bad is it really. Usally not even a 2. So I would sugest finding a group of friends, church, self help, club, other mommys for play dates or something to make you feel good about you. Bottom Line if you are not taking care of you then you can not take care of anyone else. You are worth it so just DO it! (:

I have gone through the same thing, and I can tell you what worked for me. First, find a better more sensitive PCP and ask them to do a full work-up on homrones, thyroid, etc. Ask your psychologist about medicaiton. I don't know why your OB would be the one perscribing. Your therapist should havve you see a psychiatrist to get you on the most appropriate medicaiton based on her observations. At this point she knows you best, and I think your OB or PCP have no business perscribing for wha tthey think is wrong. Now if a blood panel shows something treatable, great, but if the issues is tryign to balance your moods, then the psychologist should be leading.

Outside of the medical, find a mothers helper or babysitter or ask your spouse to take a couple flexible work weeks or something - and get out and do spend some time on your own in relaxation or working out or in a social setting. Or establish date nights with your husband. The homework from the therapist helps, but so does time for yourself. If you want a job outside the home great, but doing that to fix your anxiety will probably only generate more. Moreover keep talking to as many people as you can - doctors but friends too. the tendencey to isolate yourself can be awful and damaging. It will get better, trust yourself, and know that you don't have to be supermom 24-7. Dealing with your feelings and thier root causes is the best gift you can giv eyour child. IF tha tmeans a babysitter or medicaiton or therapy - keep doing it. Good luck.

I think you should see a psychiatrist. They specialize in the medical treatment of things like anxiety and depression. Your OB can prescribe the meds, but is not a specialist in the area of mental health. If your PCP told you to "get a real job" to address your depression and anxiety, they are an idiot. You may also need to see a therapist. The psychiatrist should be able to recommend someone skilled in treating depression and anxiety in your area.

I started detoxing about 25 years ago. I consumed blue green algae among a litany of other supplements that tied up heavy metals in my fatty tissues creating a shift that boosted my energy level, eliminated my chronic depression and fueled a joyfully, positive outlook on life.

My well fed neuropeptides motivated a lively spirit of exploration. John Parker Trowbridge MD taught me about the mental and physical health consequences of Systemic Candidiasis. So, my first level of detox was the Candida Cleanse. (You may see your Case Study in Trowbridge's book, THE YEAST SYNDROME, and in most other self-diagnostic guides written on the subject.) A major key to the success of a Candida Cleanse is to drain environmental toxins including the heavy metals that farm Candida. Heavy metals stunt neuronal growth; so, imagine what happens to brain function over time. (See www.iaomt.org for a video clip that demonstrates the effect of metals on 'being human'.)

Subsequently, I learned about the burden that eating against one's Blood Type can have on metabolic efficiency including brain function and mental health. So, I incorporated the Blood Type Diet into my life by identifying my Secretor Status to organize my kitchen and lifestyle around all foods compatible with my Type A+, non-secretor status. I continued to have shifts in my health to higher and higher levels. So, many more issues even things that I had considered age-related just melted away.

I got another degree, a Masters in Holistic Counseling and became certified as a practitioner of homotoxicology and blood type genetics. I have lots of guidance posted at the website www.greenrita.com But, the driving force behind so much of my willingness to apply myself is due to my daily meditation, yoga, exercise and therapeutic levels of nutrition.

All of those levels of mindfulness I have integrated over the years i.e. the discipline has really served to balance and stabilize my experience in every aspect of my life. When I invest in self-care, I find that the care and love I offer others becomes that much more authentic. Seems that healing the body opens the door to cultivating spirit. So I make the time to do my healing work. The results enrich all other aspects of my life. And, I no longer look to others to do my healing. I realize its an inside-out job.

I have shared maybe too much information; but, if you need help, we now have online counsel with SKYPEvideo.

First I would find a new PCP. One that is a parent. Second I would ask them to perform a full physical, blood workup, and possibly a sleep study. Hormone imbalance, as well as sleep deprevation could cause these symptoms. You said that this has been going on for awhile. Does your OBG think it could be related to post-partum?

I also suggest finding someone to help you with your daughter at least 2 days a week. Someone where you could drop her off for a few hours, and can get some sleep.
M.

I am just coming out of the same problem. My issue was a hormone inbalance so I would say to have a full blood panel done before going on the mood stabilizer. I went down that road I was a zombie for months till my husband said he did not want me on them anymore. I finally had blood work done and they figured out it was a hormone thing. I still have some down days but that is normal. Mine are because my husband is in the Navy and so I am a single mom right now. I will say that no matter what, you have to get out of the house or you will get depressed. I hope that everything works out for you. Send me a message if you want to chat.

M.
SAHM of 2 and 4yr old girls!

GS, am so sorry to hear this....but keep in mind that it's not just you..there are lots of ppl out there feeling the same way... and anyone who tries, makes it through. You have done the toughest part of it just by recognizing it and reaching out. Not everyone has that courage.
Pls do take the Rx as it may help...Surely it won't make things worse, right? And, rather than finding another job, take the other moms' advice here and do something you love..u know..and talk to a counsellor..talking will help. Pour out all ur worries and share whatever u r feeling with a close trusted friend..it'd help..just talking will be a great relief.
And one more thing, when things are settled, there isnt a more fulfilling job than being a mom!And moms are brave..they are meant to be..u'll get out of this honey..just go for it!

Depression is a medical condition like any other, and should not be blown off by your PCP. You should be seeing a psychiatrist (MD) as well as the therapist you already see. Many people DO have success working with one or the other depending on what is going on with them, but seeing both is the best of both worlds. A GOOD psychiatrist will get labs to check thyroid, etc. and a complete psychiatric and social history before giving you a diagnosis and prescribing you anything. Psych meds are like any other medication, though, line up 10 folks with high cholesterol and give them all the same medicine - 7 get better and 3 stay the same or get worse. That said, don't give up if the doc tries the wrong one first and work closely with the doc on what effect the drug is having (good and bad). Changes in your mood around your period are not unusual, but does not mean you should limit yourself to treating symptoms only around that time. It didn't sound to me like you are only depressed and anxious 2 days a month.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

S.

I am not sure but have you already been evaluated for post partum depression? I don't know how it works as far as whether or not you only get it right after you have a baby or if you can get it later, but for me I had this after my son was born but did not know what it was for the first 3 months of his life. I had my thyroid tested but the results were normal and I also had blood tests done but after they found everything was fine with me physically, they sent me to a therapist who wrote down all the symptoms I had and determined I had PPD. I followed their instructions for a while as far as eating well, exercising, get some sunshine, trying to sleep but of course that wasn't easy with a newborn :P But eventually I did get put on Zoloft. I took it and it took about a month to really work. I continued to take it, they recommended for 1 year but I stopped after 9 months and weaned myself from it. I found out my father's side of the family had depression, I was raised by my mother so I didn't know before then. I would get your blood and thyroid tested and if those seem to be fine talk to your doctor about PPD or even PMDD or other condition that could occur around your time of the month. I know even now it seems I am not the same person I was before I had a child, though I am much better than I had been with the PPD, I think my hormones are just different now. Good luck and God bless.

I can't believe your PCP told you to get a job or something to be more fulfilled. Mental health is affected by things like this-yes-but is not "cured" by it. You need to talk to the shrink about the meds but realistically, you probably need them. At least for a while. After I had my twins, I did have very very similar problems like you are having but luckily I recognized them as Postpartum Depression and immediately talked to my doc. I went on meds and had some therapy and over time things kinda cleared up. I was only on meds about 8 months. Even tho your daughter is 2, you could still be having postpartum or simply "regular" depression but either way, you need to do everything EVERYTHING to take care of yourself for your safety and the safety of your child. It's all too easy to let your anger get out of control especially with a 2 y/o - believe me, we all know that and those of us who have been there with some form of depression, know this may not result in a battered kid, but there is a chance it could in the heat of the moment.

Just take care of yourself and find a new PCP who understands more about mental health. (Remember the uproar a few years back with Tom Cruise saying Brooke Shields shouldn't have taken antidepression medication, that she should have just eaten better and exercised!! Yeah right.)

Good luck and feel free to contact me separately.

Julie
____@____.com

Maybe you should get your hormones checked. I was having similar issues, my doctor checked my hormones and they were all out of wack. I have been on a medication for about a month, so it is hard to tell if it is helping but is seems to be. You may also try doing things for yourself if at all possible, you do need time for yourself to keep your sanity. This doesn't have to be a job, you have a job. Hope this helps.

I was in the same boat after my twins were born and it took years for me to feel better. What worked for me was prescribed meds by my psychiatrist, exercise was a huge help, taking omega 3 fish oil, and my kids starting school so I had some time to myself. What will work for you will be different. Like the other moms, I urge you to see a psychiatrist for appropriate meds and find time for yourself to do something fulfilling. Dont make any big decisions about going back to work until you feel like yourself again. Best wishes and hugs to you.

Hi GS,

I would say take the meds in the short term and do what it takes to feel better! Also, what about your diet and exercise? Are you eating well and getting out some, for walks, to the gym, etc? Another SUPER important source of support can be mom's groups. There are lots out there on Meetup.com and Yahoogroups.com, find a few, make some new mom friends, women who are staying home too. I know for me as a stay at home mom, having good friends who are 'in the same boat' makes a WORLD of difference to me.

Good luck to you! You are SO smart for reaching out to get help :)
S.

I know how your feeling!! One suggestion I have for you is to exercise. I was feeling exactly how you described and I joined a cardio kickboxing class. Not only was I able to have some adult interaction but I was able to have some "me" time. It was a healthy approach to releiving anxiety and stress. I am not sure if you are able to take a class like that but if you can't maybe you could try fast pase walking or jogging. It helps to get away and out of the house. I tried meds before I did this and it helped a little but I didn't really feel myself when I was on them. Hope this helps! Just remember too that many women suffer from this and you can pull yourself out by getting some you time and trying to talk yourself in to a positive state of mind. I think that the whole crying thing just happens when your a mom too. We tend to be more emotional and sensitive once we have a little one.
Take Care!!
Jen :o)

I would say, take the medication. My PCP prescribed mine and it is a big help. (I'm on it because while going through menopause I had terrible mood swings.) Try to get that time to meditate. It does help. If you can afford to be a SAHM, do it! Nothing is more fulfilling than watching your child grow. And do, get yourself a different doctor. And what make your PCP think raising a child isn't a real job? He sounds like a jerk to me. Sorry, not helpful, I know.

I think you are correct to suspect hormones. I have heard of women having this trouble. Go back to your OBGYN. He or she has more knowledge on this than the PCP. Another job will not solve depression. It may make things worse. Fine a friend to get together with too. AF

are you on any birth control now? sometimes certain BC can make you a little crazy. i've heard the Yaz can really help with PMS issues and worse. so you should really try a different BC as well and that could help with your emotions and hormones.

The next thing you should do is get a new PCP!! You need a doctor that is supportive of your lifestyle choices. There's nothing wrong with being a SAHM and how DARE a doctor suggest that you need to get a job. Seriously, get a new doctor and make an appointment.

As for the immediate term, I don't have much helpful advice, I'm sorry. I experience some of this also in connection with hormones, but I don't do anything about it because it's not very major, mostly just really bad PMS. I just warn my hubby when it's coming, remember not to take it out on him and the boys and blow of steam by yelling at people that cut me off while I'm driving. :)

I'm sorry your going through this, I've battled depression quite a few times so I feel what you're going through. It sounds like you need a new PCP. What does he mean being a stay at home mom isn't a "real" job? Did he mention counseling or offer to try a medication to see if it would help? If your not happy with what your doctor told you, I recommend calling your local health department and ask to speak with someone about depression. They may be able to lead you in the right direction. I don't know how you feel about taking medication, but if you think its hormone related, then medication is worth trying. It may just be a temporary thing and you'd only have to be on the medication for a few months. I wish you all the luck, your little girl needs her mommy back.

K.

You may want to get a full blood work test done. My Dr. found I had hypothyroidism and a vitamin D deficiency and both greatly affected my mood and I didn't know it. There's a lot that is fulfilling about being a stay-at-home mom, and I know several moms who are working who hate leaving their child/children and say they'd give anything to stay home like I'm able to. One of them is my SIL, who absolutely loves her career and always saw that as important, even to the point of criticizing me for staying home until she had her daughter last year. My other SIL may not even have children b/c she loves her job so much. It's really all about what's right for you, but I would look into other deficiencies before jumping back into a career and away from your child if you think that's not it. If you think it will help, then do it, b/c that's best for you, but it may still be good to get a work up done in case there is a deficiency. There are lots of things that affect our horomones, and many women have said to me how theirs have heightened or become more extreme after having a child.

Hi, good for you for seeking advice. I have suffered many symptoms you have described so I understand how you feel. I know with me alot of it was lack of sleep. It just made me anxious and feel like I'm losing my mind. Also, hormones play a big part, and I know after I ovulate until I get my period things go down hill for me. I always feel great during my period and right afterward.

I've recently found that giving myself goals and tasks for the day or week help me stay focused on a project and I have been less anxious. For example, over the past month I took on the project of painting my daughter's room and fixing it up with new curtains and rug in time for school to start. Having something else to think about besides caring for someone else really helps. I am going to continue this and work on projects around the house. Even though I do a little each day I get a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. That's probably what your PCP was referring to when he/she said to go back to work (which may not be an option for you). Give yourself assignments each day and complete them, then enjoy your accomplishments.

Also, exercise, even just a 30 min. walk per day helps with sleep and my overall well being. I make myself schedule a walk every day. Put your child in the stroller and get out, a little iPod music of your choice will get you motivated.

Keep a journal of how anxious you feel each day and the activities that make you feel worse or better. I've noticed that when I've had my kids around for a long time, I'm super anxious, then I try to get my husband to watch them and I go out for a couple of hours to do something I enjoy. I find just being by myself really relaxes me.

Good luck, keep up the good work. We all have our ups and downs, it sounds like you're on the right track! :)

Hey G S. Just know that you are not alone!!!! I believe that you SHOULD follow your PCPs advice and do something that you love.. even join a moms group (let me know if you find one) BUT in the meantime, insist on taking the prescription because depression lowers your seretonin levels and your lower seretonin levels cause you to be depressed! A vicious cycle. If its wellbutrin or lexapro, those are the best in my opinion. Take note of how you feel after taking them- if you feel worse or better. But take it from me, a did nothing when I felt like you did and the outcome of staying at home when you know thats not really for you, being depressed, anxious--- and then not getting help, is not good. Avoid it at all costs. Write to mamasource again and get suggestions from other moms about what jobs they went out and got or what groups they joined. Life has to be worth living for us all.. you have to find something to get excited about.. Start with exercising because that automatically and naturally will boost your mood. Even a brisk walk around the block a few times will do.. My best to you!!!

Hormones are ridiculous little things that we can't see but can control our lives. I have been going through the same thing, peri-menopause for years now, it can last for 10 years everyone is different. Of course the first things the doctors do is prescribe an anti-depressant, which can help if you are on the right one. If you are having more symptoms than benefits ask for a different pill. Some of the ones they prescibed made me a zombie and I did get off the couch, not the right pill. The doctor will not know which one is right for you, only you will. There has to be more benefits and improvement to your life to make the pill worthwhile. I had to go on birth control pills to regulate my cycles because I was getting one every 2 weeks and I was either screaming or crying. The pill really helps and cuts down on the time period my moods are out of wack. I also take my pills continuosly, I don't take a bread for a week to get my period. That really helps a lot. But again you have to find the right pill. Yaz made everything much worse so I would not recommend that at all. Also if they do bloodwork for hormones you can't be on birth control pills when they do it. You won't get true readings. But I have never had a blood test come back with hormone readings off so that won't give you the true results either. I know my problems are hormone based on when I can feel the change coming. Of course everyday life can get you down and make you feel bad but that is so much worse when your hormones are just out of control and you can't control your emotions. I am also a stay at home mom and do get quite bored on somedays. My husband is deployed so I get pretty tired of talking to myself or the dog. I go to the gym and workout or just take a walk. Getting out even though you don't feel like it will help a lot. I know how upsetting it is to not feel like yourself anymore and not know how to fix it or have doctors be able to help you. I hope this helps.

It's clear that your post struck a nerve from all the responses - one very helpful thing about this board is knowing that you are not alone and you are not the first to have these feelings.
I second the recommendation from the other posters about exercise - although it's taken me 6 years of raising my #1 and #2 to get on a regular schedule.
If you are at all concerned about medication, look into increasing your level of omega-3s if that is not a part of your diet. Nursing babies take it right out of you and a lack of omega-3s has been linked to depression. I take Flax Seed Oil capsules because I can't really do fish oil and it's made a huge difference. When I feel panic creeping up on me I realize it's been a couple days since my last dose. That and a regular multi-vitamin to increase my energy have made all the difference in my ability to be a good mommy.
Big hugs to you. I'll be looking for your follow up post to see how things are going.

Clearly, you have to do what is best for you. I agree with other posters that you may want to consider changing doctors, but also consider all of your current doctor's advice. It may not be what we want to hear, but sometimes it's the poke we need to succeed.

It sounds like you are experiencing what I was going through. I was just a bear to live with. I started actually graphing my moods and found that I was yelling at my kids and fighting with my husband - without fail - 3 to 5 days before my period. Then, I had bad cramps with my period and felt terrible for the next 3 to 5 days. What a drag! (for everyone!) That's almost 1/2 the month. I spoke with my pcm and she sent me to obgyn, who gave me an Rx for Celexa. It's a low dose mood stabilizer. I feel soooo much better and my family is much happier, too. I don't have that zombie feeling at all, I'm just myself again. I've been told it probably has to do with being peri-menopausal (I'm 40) but whatever the reason, it works for me.

As far as doing something in addition to parenting, try www.momsclub.org for a great connection with other moms in your zipcode.

Please know that you are not alone in this. You have the greatest job in being a Mom... I'm glad you are taking care of yourself, because you will be an even better Mom when you get this all worked out for yourself. Set your goal to help yourself get better for your sake, your children's sake, and you will ripen your relationship with your husband as well.

Be well.
~J.

you need to see other doctors.. or insist that your doctors follow up. If you see it being hormone related then you need to have your obgyn follow up with any tests related to hormones and hormone therapy etc.. see if they haven't re-adjusted. Make sure they have ck'd into your thyroid, that can make all sorts of changes in your body. You have two doctors who are on two different pages and you need to find a doctor that you feel confident is doing everything to get to the bottom of how you are feeling!!! You may ultimately feel that you don't want to be a stay at home mom, but for a doctor to suggest that that is your problem is worrisome to me. Sounds like someone who has chosen a career and doesn't believe in the value of a stay at home mom. Everyone has to make those decisions for themselves, but you can't make it when your hormones and your emotions are all out of whack because of depression and anxiety. Please don't give up on yourself and seek 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinions if necessary... someone will be the one who thinks outside the box to find the answers you need!!! I wish you the best of luck!!

From a holistic perspective. I concur with the Omega Fatty Acids and vit. D. I'd also suggest Evening Primrose Oil. That is a great hormone balancer. The best oil mix I've found is Women's Essential Blend by Barleans. You need to keep it in the fridge and stir it on occasion. Vit. D is also essential.
The other piece I'd strongly suggest is: acupuncture. It works very well on the emotional system. Look for someone that has a Mac after their name; as that means they have at least 2 yrs. of training. Feel free to contact me for a refer in your area.
L. M

Hi - I have felt this way at many points in my life and waited til I was 49 before taking medication (Lexapro - great for anxiety and depression). It has changed my life. I look forward to each day instead of just "getting through it." It is hard to describe. I found a great psychologist and after 3 visits, she knew what was going on; sent me across the street to the Psychiatrist and that was it. I have stopped crying all the time and worrying myself into the ground. I ENJOY little things and I enjoy being alive. Don't wait as long as me. Find someone who can really help. I will never go back! Good luck. PS- I have a successful career and have worked since my kids were 3 months old; while that helps a lot (I could never stay home), it is not the total answer so don't be fooled by that (or by meditation - i also do acupuncture which is a gift but again, not the total answer).

After I had my daughter at age 42, my hormones were all out of whack, and I noticed my emotions were out of control right before that time of the month. I mentioned this to my OB/GYN and he put on Yasmin birth control (my daughter was rather challenging and I decided I couldn't handle any more children at my age. Now my daughter is wonderful). I know this isn't right for everyone because of moral and health issues, but it worked for me right away; I can control my emotions a lot better. Just be aware it might not work for you or make things worse. Ask you GYN about it to see if it might be right for you (just like the commercial). That being said, I still have days that I channel my mother (who was a bitter woman towards me, not anyone else) and my daughter gets on my last nerve. But those days are few and far between.

I have trouble asking for help, and people I thought were friends abandoned me after I had my daughter. Do you have a close friend who can come over to spend time with you most days? Is there a play group your daughter could join so both of you are getting out of the house? Can you afford to put her in preschool so you can have a couple of hours to yourself? That will help her with socialization and give you a break, too. Your husband needs to realize that you need a break and give you a chance to get out on your own so you can be a whole person. By the way, I started taking piano lessons when I was 45 because I've always wanted to. I'm terrible, but I enjoy it.

I think your PCP is a jerk for telling you to get a job, but it could be a sideways code that you and your daughter need to get out more, if you aren't already. I'm a sahm who doesn't stay at home. I can't remember if a psychologist can prescribe medication, but I know a psychiatrist can.

I'm just repeating the advice that has been given to you. Be proud of yourself that you recognized the problem and that you are trying to help yourself and your family.