Terrible two's...enough Said

I also have a "terrible" two-er - and I am also slightly crazy. We should talk!

We call this face stuffing/choking/spitting out meal and snack deal "cookie monstering". My two year old has been doing this on and off for the past year, and I swear, half the food she eats goes down mostly, if not totally, whole - the rest of it ends up in a half chewed gob of food that she spits out sometimes into my hand, sometimes spits in little pieces on herself. Yeah, I know. She seems to really enjoy doing this, and the more displeasure I show, the more fun it gets to her.
She is an excellent eater, and feeds herself most of the time, but seems to do this cookie monster thing as an attention getting ploy. She is quite the naughty one. I always try to give her small portions of things at snacktime, making her finish whatever she has in her bowl first before she gets more. She feeds herself at mealtimes, but I always sit with her while she eats to nip the cookie monstering in the bud if it begins. At that point, the meal is over - she does it when she really isn't hungry anymore or wants attention more than she is hungry. I don't care if she gets upset, all the food goes away once that sort of behavior starts, same with snack time. I discourage it not by yelling at her (because they just find MORE joy in the behavior when you show any sort of reaction, negative or positive) but by just removing the problem altogether.
You can try to keep them from doing it, but expect it to happen on and off. Its kind of a kid thing, but you can definitely discourage them from doing it by removing the food.

oh honey...this is only the beginning! mine is 6 now and let me tell you...it has been 6 VERY LONG YEARS...I was totally prepared for my first ( a girl) to choke and she never did...then, my second child, my son, choked on EVERYTHING, oh yeah, and he thought he could walk on water as soon as he could walk -8 months..augh! the stuffing of the food freaks me out..he still does it-with egg yolks-cheese-I dont know how to stop it..at two though..you can try to only put enough food in front of him that is managable..and explain why. I am still doing this and rying to keep him alive on a day to day basis..a full time job! those boys keep you on your toes!

haha, you reminded me of how my younger son made me want to go crazy, too, with his antics. he didn't have this apparent need but he had others which were laughable and not worrisome as your concern about possible choking. but most of them can be easily dealt with by gentle redirection. be prepared as to what you want to direct his attention to as soon as you think the behavior is about to come up. don't make a big to-do about the behavior itself like pointing it out. just think of it as if it is no big deal because it really isn't. enough time redirecting and he'll get over it. he may move on to something else (like my son) but you just deal with that the same way and go from there. as they get older, this kind of bizarre behavior will just go away. an example would be to provide only enough food on his plate to fill him just so (2 year olds don't really need a lot) and then being ready to ask him if he was ready to head out to the park or go for a ride on your clothes basket to the laundry room to do some laundry when he is almost done with his food (maybe the last 1 or 2 pasta piece).

Dear P.:

Maybe for the next few weeks try just giving him a very small amount of food and then continue to distribute small amounts throughout the meal. THat way he can't overstuff and he will learn it is not good to put too much food in his mouth.

My neice did that for awhile and it was a stage and eventually the novelty of spitting and stiffing food got old.

Hope this helps. :)

N.

I suggest ignoring this as much as possible - your response is very 'interesting' to him and /or it is becoming a reactive/power struggle or pre power struggle situation. With 2 year olds especially ( and all ages really) the least reaction the better try to not notice when you eat together and let him have snacks close by but not where he can see your face - if you prepare the food so you've taken care of obvious choking hazards the chances he is going to actually choke are slim - just 'get out of the picture' so he will start relaxing again around eating and is not looking for a reaction from you.

Two's are not intentionally provoking you - but if you have ever really freaked out on them - they will 'test and test' until they feel they are safe again. People often just don't get this about kids - the testing is all about finding out if they are still safe with us and 'am I still loved?'
I have 3 kids one is grown and what I discovered is ignoring,distracting, and then in a time when they are settled do something where you are totally present and available to them -
or distract them into that state - then really be there and give big doses of fulfilling attention and feelings of cozy safety.
Change the enviroment not the child - set up dependable rythem and routine. sing into transitions - errands ect.
the book 'you are your child's first teacher' is a good one.
Good Luck
R.

I made a deal with my daughter, if it's food and it's in your mouth chew it up and swallow it. I would "tidbit" him, give a little at a time, just a small mouthful, and no more. Then when he has successfully swallowed it, give a little bit more. No chocking and no spitting it out! Take care and good luck, I know it's a time intensive answer.
-K.