Small Town in Home Daycare Expectations

Updated on June 24, 2016
S.C. asks from Oskaloosa, KS
13 answers

Hi all,
Just wondering if my expectations are too high.

We found a lady who has done licensed in home care for many, many years, and came highly recommended. When we first started I told her I needed care from 7:30 - 5:30 (my shift is 8:30 - 5:00 and I have my other son to drop off/pick up, as well as commute time). She said as long as I could get there by 5:30 that should be ok.

Then they closed my exit on the highway, so I have started skipping my lunch break and leaving 30 minutes earlier from work, by 4:30, which puts me at her house right after 5:00 (like 5:05 or 5:10- would not make it by 5:30, leaving at 5:00). Now she has told me that she would like to leave her house by 5:00 to go to her kids and grandkids' sporting events. I have tried to talk to her about this, telling her I can't promise I will be there by 5:00 each day, and that the end time of 4:30 at work was supposed to be temporary anyway, until the exit is re-opened in August. I was pretty frustrated because I felt she basically argued with me, telling me that "most people around here that watch kids have high-schoolers too, so they all close at like 4 so they can go to their events", and "well eventually most parents have to do it for their own kids anyway, I guess they use sick time and days off to make up for it". Eventually she said this is the last week of it, for the summer, then nothing else until volleyball starts in September, when she will need my son picked up early two days per week (he's only there three days as it is.)

I guess I'm just wondering - because she did come with high referrals- is this normal, to have to rearrange my schedule for her? I do like her, and it's been awhile since I've been in a small town, and I do remember sports being a HUGE deal (never were to me!). And apparently everyone in my town gets off work and has their kids picked up by 4:00...??? But gee, I don't know...I kind of feel like I shouldn't have to rearrange MY schedule for her....I don't mind a bit but to me it seems like it's getting ridiculous.

Just a little frustrated. I'm going to plan to find alternate care before September. But didn't know if this is the "norm" in small towns? I guess maybe you get what you pay for....rates are definitely lower in the "country" than in the larger suburb we used to live in.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies! I know it's a little early for a SWH but I am feeling better, thanks to your answers. I also was given a number to a "Daycare Connection" (don't know if that's local to our metro area or what..) and they are going to send me a list of providers in my geographical area. Feeling much more optimistic. Part of my unease was also the fact that (although I did mention I might look and she said she'd understand if I did), most of my options included local facebook groups that she's a part of lol. I wish it was as easy as just going to a center - but of course budgeting is a concern. If we can find someone who charges close to what she does I'll be on cloud nine.....Thanks again!

Featured Answers

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I guess the short answer is, she's a business owner and can run her business as she wishes and if you don't like it, you can find someone else. Good luck.

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T.D.

answers from Springfield on

switch to a daycare center or another home daycare that willing to work with your hours. you shouldn't ahve to leave work a half hour early to be to the sitters when you arranged for 530 pickup time.
i worked for a daycare center and the hours were 6 am to 6 pm. after the 6 pm time you were charged by the minute so parents very rarely were late to pickup.
my friend does in home daycare and she does 7 to 7 and charges my the minute after that. she also has an alternative if you need care at a different time she will help you arrange care with another daycare provider that does all odd hours and emergency childcare for those who are oncall.
so consider someone else.

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D..

answers from Miami on

It doesn't matter that she changed her mind. You'll have to find another daycare provider. I know you're frustrated, but this is just an impasse between you two, and you need to be able to manage your job, which actually comes first.

I don't know that it has a lot to do with it being a small town, maybe it is. But I disagree with you that you shouldn't have to rearrange your schedule for her. She gets to set her hours, and she does have the right to change her hours.

So sorry.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

We encountered this with our first child care provider. I didn't know what the norm was. She was super reliable and she actually would keep him until we got there, but by 5 pm she was back to her family - teenagers, rushing for meal and out door. So my son - just little guy - really wasn't being watched. I felt uncomfortable when we picked him up. He wasn't in the daycare part (basement) any more, he was underfoot in their kitchen, etc.

We found a wonderful day care facility in town - so we didn't have to rush. At all. What a difference that made.

So if traffic or driving will be an issue - that's one option (to have nearer to you). But I also liked having kids in a daycare near where we live (this is what we switched to later on) because they went to school with their daycare friends.

I personally preferred the daycare centers. Excellent ones though. We toured a few that I would not have been comfortable with.

But - if this has started already ... not a good sign. I get they have their own busy lives (now that I have teenagers I totally get this) but not a good fit for you.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I passed on a daycare provider in my neighborhood for pretty much the same reason. She has been in business forever, her grown children grew up here, highly recommended, reasonably priced and provided the kind of day of enriching, down-home activities (in the afternoon we walk to the park and stop at the creek to observe the fish and frogs, etc.) that in my fantasy life I would provide if I were at home. The problem was that she closed promptly at 5:15 PM. I would have to have rearranged my entire life to fit her schedule. She had a client base of mainly teachers (latest school day ends at 3:20) and people who worked in town who could be there by 5:15 and had no interest in accommodating families with parents commuting to jobs outside of town who might end up in traffic or on a delayed train. So I found a center that was open until 6:30 and had a lot of families where the parents were commuters getting back into town after 6 PM. A much better fit for us, and really the standard way of operating in childcare but if she can afford to be rigid about her schedule then good for her, I guess.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

I would really consider a daycare center. We were fortunate to find one in our school district that has after-school care. So when we started there our older son rode the bus there after school and our younger son was their all day. They're both in school now.

It worked out great for us! I think they open at 6:30 or 7:00 am (not sure, as I don't go to work until 9:00 am), and they close at 5:30. Those hours definitely work for us, but other centers are open later.

I just really like the reliability of always knowing they are staffed. They even staff the place on snow days. That has been a huge help ... knowing that we don't need to call in sick on snow days.

The people there have been wonderful! It's been a really good experience.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My sister and I were just emailing about this. Her sitter, who was mine first, works 7-530. 7 is late to open when you have to fight the traffic to get on base with everyone else starting between 730-8. And she goes north for daycare to come south in traffic.

Ultimately though, this is he business and she can set her hours. Your kids will be replaced by other kids who can stay later. It's the vicious cycle.

So if her hours are until 530, that's when she needs to stay until. If they are 5, then you need to be there by 5. But if the hours don't work with your schedule, then definitely find someone new.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

If you both had signed a contract stipulating to the 5:30 pickup, you'd have something to refer to in regard to expectations.

I agree with others (and your SWH) that it's a good idea to look for other providers. Be sure you get a contract in writing with this specifically cited the next time, okay? ;)

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D.D.

answers from Boston on

No this isn't normal. What everyone else is doing has nothing to do with her business arrangement. Every time you change something to accommodate her schedule I'm sure Something else will come up so you are probably doing the right thing to look for another caretaker. This one sounds like she's done it forever but wants to do other things. You can't begrudge her wanting to be involved in her grandkid's games but since she'll be upset if you are late its not worth the stress for you.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

She gets to set her own hours although she should give you adequate notice if she decides to change them. An excellent reason to use a licensed daycare center. Better hours (usually until 6:30) and more reliable. If one provider gets sick, the center is still open. I find it hard to believe that anyone with a full time job would use a provider that randomly needs to close at 4 pm. That is ridiculous.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't live in a small town, but when I did child care from home I set my own hours. If I had to change my hours to suit my own family, then I would give my child care families a couple of weeks notice My child care families were free to try and find care that could accommodate them, or adjust their schedules.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

It could be that she is "burned" out after many years of watching kids. She wants to enjoy her grands and I can understand that.

When my son was little,I put him in a child care center. That way I did not have to worry about if my local sitter would be available or sick or anything like that and make me late for work. The center was responsible for making sure they had the required number of people there to care for the children. There were several centers in town and you could use any of them up until 1 am.

You have to do what is best for you. You have a road detour that puts another 45 minutes into your commute daily each way. You have a child that is in a home that closes earlier. You have to shorten your lunch hour so that you can leave to pick up your kid. Wow, that is a lot of changes to make on a working person. I would be pulling my hair out over this. So, get a new sitter than will work with your hours and not give you a hassle.

Best of luck to you.

the other S.

PS My son was six weeks old when we started and we left when he was three when we moved out of state.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Most child care providers are open set hours. To have a license they have to publish those hours with their licensing worker. They are usually open from around 6:30am/7am to 6pm.

She is being incredibly rude.

But, what time do the other children get picked up? Are they all gone by 3:30pm? Then she's ready to be done with her work day by 4pm.

Please find a proper center that has set yours where you will always have someone to care for your child regardless.

BUT most providers just will not take a part time child. They have bills to pay whether your child is there or not.

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