I am concerned about a potential friend of two of my kiddos that was recently adopted from another country and has HIV. I want to say, that I only have this concern because all of the kiddos involved are boys and under 10. As a mom of all boys, blood happens. Not everyday, but scraped knees, and occasionally a busted head goes down. I really do get that HIV isn't spread through touch or spit or sweat etc. I have a friend who has been positive for years and I went to his restaurant and ate food he prepared and never worried, because he is grown and knows how to care for himself and others. This new young one worries me but I feel so crappy to feel this way bc hello, he was just adopted and is new to this country and needs friends! I will say he is not symptomatic at all. I wish I didn't know, but I do.... I am not personally close enough to the parents to talk about this and they have other kids and don't seem concerned. I really don't know what to do in this situation, I want to be a friend but also want my kiddos safe, any thoughts? Anyone dealt with this successfully? Thanks
One wrong contact with blood could result in serious consequences. I would definitely speak to a doctor.
well, not really. i do get why you're thinking about it, but the likelihood of two kids getting conked hard enough to bleed AND somehow mingling their blood is extremely low.
i don't understand how you know this child and he's a potential friend for your kids, but you're 'not personally close enough to the parents to talk about this.' it's not an insult. it's not an intrusion. it's a perfectly legitimate question, and they are by far your best source of information.
'hi dan and marla, i'm cody and jesse's mom. they'd love to play more with aaron and i was hoping we could make that happen. i'd also appreciate any education you could offer us on what we need to know about his HIV. is there any time in the next couple of weeks we could all get together?'
i mean, if they get offended by anyone having questions about their newly adopted son it's on them. but i'll bet they don't. parents like this are generally open and understanding that not everyone has their level of information, and appreciative of others who actually ask questions and don't just shun their child or make poor decisions based on faulty information.
the worst that will happen is that someone you barely know will get their nose mildly out of joint, right?
khairete
S.
Can you fill in a little more info about how you know this child is HIV positive? And how you know that he's asymptomatic? It sounds like you aren't friendly with the parents, but that a whole lot of people are talking about this issue. And this child is a "potential" friend of your children - is that through school or some other organization?
Are you sure the info is true and up to date, rather than idle talk? Sounds like this child is new to the US and somehow everyone knows the story. Was the info released by the parents and therefore it's verified? What precautions/education has already gone on in the school? What do you already know about this child's abilities, knowledge, etc. about his own condition? I'm concerned that his ability to integrate successfully into a new town, new family, new school and new community might be more difficult because parents are going to try to work through this with their kids, when no one necessarily has the scoop (and maybe shouldn't have it).
I think the best step might be for you to talk to your pediatrician about how to handle this, how to address the issue with kids, etc. We have dealt with HIV positive children since the days of Ryan White who was kicked out of school in 1984 due to fears of AIDS (which was not well understood then). I'm not aware of any children EVER contracting HIV/AIDS from a school friend or a sibling in those 30 years. That includes kids who play sports and fall down and get cuts. I may be wrong about that but it would be worth investigating with a neutral source, your children's doctor. These doctors already know the kids in your community who are HIV positive and the community just doesn't know it - so maybe that would be really helpful in reducing your concerns with really solid info from the Public Health Department.
You educate your children on standard safety practices. That's all you can do. Education trumps fear. You tell them, *anytime* *anyone* is bleeding, to ask an adult for help. Personally, I would be more worried about my child having a friend with outlying behaviors (stealing, hurting others, lying) than I would about this kid.
Just make sure you teach your son about not touching anyone else's blood.
Kids run in to each other, they bust their heads together, like you said, blood happens.
I would be worried too.
One thing though. If you don't know the parents who told you the child has HIV and that he's non-symptomatic? If it wasn't the parents then how do you know that he is even, for sure, HIV positive?
I'd be leary of gossip and if someone official told you that he is HIV then they should be out of a job and be charged with breach of confidentiality. That's just wrong.
I wouldn't worry about it to be honest, but your kids should already know to treat all blood, from anyone, as a possible contaminate and to avoid contact. The fact is you won't know with most people, because of the very reason illustrated in your question, so it is best to just always treat blood carefully even if the risk is extremely low without them having sex or sharing needles.
This might help - it's "workplace" specific, but considering how close some people can work, it might put your mind at ease.
http://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/diseases/aids/concerns.html
