19 answers

Adoption Through Foster Care

Just wondering if anyone has experience with adopting through the foster care system. Dh and I have 1 beautiful daughter who is 6 years old. We have not been able to have more children since then. We have spent almost the last 2 years trying to adopt a baby from the U.S. Things are obviously going very slow. We are starting to worry about our age and our daughters age as being factors in being chosen by a birthmother. Recently, we have started to consider adopting through the foster system, maybe even a toddler age child or a sibling group. My biggest fear is that they (the children) will be taken away and returned to there home. We have already suffered too much loss and I don't think I could take it. Has anyone had success with this process or know anyone who has. I feel like I just need to talk to someone who it has worked for.

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From one adoptive mom to almost another, yeah! Don't know about the foster system, we adopted internationally. But I still wanted to give a shout out!

Good luck!

S.

Call DA Blogett in Grand Rapids. You can become foster parents for any situation. You can go into this specially to adopt or to just help kids while their partents are getting their issues worked out.

More Answers

R.,

We just finalized the adoption of 3 children who moved in with us in December last year. We worked with Bethany Christian Services and made it VERY clear we did not want to foster anyone that even had a remote chance of being returned home (ALL parental rights needed to be terminated before we would even meet the kids). Also, working with an agency - they have kids who are not officially into the system yet as they have a certian amount of time to place them before the state steps in.

We were introduced to these kids in November and knew from the start they were coming to live with us for adoption purposes.

The good thing about them moving in under the foster system with you is that the time spent with you will count towards the time reqired between placement and finalization(6 months).

If you would like any more info - please feel free to contact me, or go to:

http://www.bethany.org

and they are good about getting the ball rolling for you also.

I have been a foster parent for more than 2 years. I have had 3 children come and go through my home. One that I have had since 16 months old and is now 3 and a half and there is still no termination and we may loose this child. I tell everyone if you go into foster care with the thought of adoption first on your mind you are setting yourself up for huge heart ache. I know several foster homes that have done this to themselves and it hurts. So be leary for sure!!!! The ultimate goal is always reunification if at all possible and DHS and our ideas of good families are totally different for sure. They look for mininal safety and I mean minimal. Not to bum you out but it is easier now than later. HOwever there are a lot of kido's that could use the help of a family part time and who knows sometimes it does turn into forever.

Blessings!!!!!!!!!

Hi!
I have a brother and a sister who were adopted from foster care. My parents did foster care even before I was born, and throughout my childhood. It was just a way of life for me. We did go through DHS, and you never knew who would be there when you got home, or who would be gone. My brother was just 3 days old when we got him, but it took 3 years before the families rights were terminated, and we adopted him. He never saw his biological parents. My sister was 9, and severly abused. We adopted her a year or so later. It was very hard when you get attached, and it is impossible not to, at least for me. It has crossed my mind to get into foster care, (I have 4 of my own now) but I dont' think I could stand the heartbreak, either. There are many kids availible who's parents' rights have already been terminated. It sounds like you have a lot of people who can help with that. I think that being a foster sister helped make me the person that I am. I am very open and tolerant. People who have disabilities are just special people to me. I think I am a much better mom because of all the babies and toddlers I helped care for.

Blessings to you and your family. Your daughter will be blessed no matter where her sibling comes from. I can't tell you how many times I think things like my brother has XX allergy, maybe that is where my son got his from, and have to remind myself that he isnt a blood brother, but he could not be more of a brother in my heart then he is right now. BTW, he is 12 years younger then me, and we were very close at home. Love goes a long way.

H.

Call DA Blogett in Grand Rapids. You can become foster parents for any situation. You can go into this specially to adopt or to just help kids while their partents are getting their issues worked out.

well...what do you want to know! We have a now 8yr old and her brother who is 13. They will not let you adopt unless they are released into the adoption system and the parents have lost their rights. If you want to foster to adopt, yes...they may not stay. There is so much to this I can't write in one paragraph. Please write back and I will respond according to your specifics concerns and questions from my personal experience.

I have a good friend who has adopted one through foster care and is in the process of adopting another. If you'd like to talk further or see if she'd like to talk with you mail me privately.

R., How much have you researched? There are thousands of children in "childrens homes" ready to be adopted, already given up or taken from their parents. There is a place in Aroura, just outside of Chicago, Mooseheart, and so many more in the US. Look up "Childrens Homes in Northern America. Places you can visit!A friend of mine adopted adoreable twin toddlers, took 6 months, because the children were already given up. Good Luck. Your Daughter will be Great, to have a sibling you chose and made a home for. K.

Hi R.,

Adopting through foster care is simpler than it may seem. I am a foster mom and I grew up with my parents doing foster care. ALSO 4 of my siblings are adopted from the foster care system. First things first, you contact an agency- do your homework. Don't just call ONE agency. Call several and find out their practices and proceedures for foster to adopt. I go through Catholic Charities of West Michigan. I trained with PRIDE training. I don't plan on adopting, but you never know what children will enter your life. You can let the agency know that you are wanting to adopt and to only place children with you that are in the process of having parental rights terminated or who already have had their PR terninated. You would be more likely to get a placement if you took a sibling group than to ask for one child. To get your fostercare license you are looking at anywhere from 3-5 months. Depended on the agency and how fast they work. There are SO many children and you CAN get a baby in fostercare but it takes longer and it's a longer process to terminate rights from the parents. I'd be glad to answer any questions you may have... I also have 2 children of my own 5yrs and 2yrs. Good luck !!!!

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